Narcissistic traits.

Salaam
I suffer from BPD and I have very low self esteem. I also have a very grandiose sense of self and I look down on other people and after talks with psychologists we have come to the conclusion that I have this as a result of the low self esteem as an automatic defence mechanism and it is extremely difficult to control my thoughts. Are my narcissistic traits a sin? Are these kinds of thoughts (with a person without a mental illness/personality disorder) haraam in Islam or makruh? Will I be excused because they are from a personality disorder?
Jazzakallahu Khair.

I think no one in this forum should answer your question because none of us are qualified to answer it. For all you know a narcissistic person who have not being treated will answer your question. The best bet is to go to a high scholar with also medical degree to help you answer the question.

ameerkam said:

Salaam
I suffer from BPD and I have very low self esteem. I also have a very grandiose sense of self and I look down on other people and after talks with psychologists we have come to the conclusion that I have this as a result of the low self esteem as an automatic defence mechanism and it is extremely difficult to control my thoughts. Are my narcissistic traits a sin? Are these kinds of thoughts (with a person without a mental illness/personality disorder) haraam in Islam or makruh? Will I be excused because they are from a personality disorder?
Jazzakallahu Khair.

Click to expand...

Like Xbox said...we cannot give you an exact answer, but we may be able to somewhat guide you.

thoughts alone are not a sin. you cannot control your thoughts. acting upon your bad thoughts is a sin. A gay person will have impure thoughts about another men...he cannot help that...but as long he does not act upon those thoughts, he would gain sawaab (good credits) for not surrendering to his desires!!

So no, you can have bad thoughts, but if you just be friendly and respectfull to those people, despite having those narcisistic thoughts...you would gain good credits for it.
whether you are excused or not, nobody can tell for sure. Only Allah knows.
But I can tell you what I think:
I do not know you well enough...but you seem like a person who is capable of distinguishing between good and bad...if you were not capable, you would not be aware of a possible sin and therefore you would not ask this question here.
From that, I think even though you have this personality disorder...you are not excused.

but again...Only Allah knows the real answer!!

Ask yourself why you have low self esteem before people if you really have it, then you wouldn't have to fall into foolish labels.

Undue self-esteem is usually a result of falsehood and lack of being real and true - it is often people who act falsely or attempt to put others down or to make them stumble without just cause - because they themselves feel inadequate or perceive that others will see through their inadequacy.

Are you false to yourself, to others, to Allah :swt:
Are the people with whom you interact false to themselves, to you, to others, to Allah :swt: ?


Anyways, it is good to have low self esteem before Allah :swt: and to conduct yourself with humility and just dignity before people.


وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا

M. M. Pickthall
The (faithful) slaves of the Beneficent are they who walk upon the earth modestly, and when the foolish ones address them answer: Peace;

Yusuf Ali (Saudi Rev. 1985)
And the servants of (Allah) Most Gracious are those who walk on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, they say, "Peace!";

Quran 25:63


fair1
fɛː/
adjective
1.
treating people equally without favouritism or discrimination.
"the group has achieved fair and equal representation for all its members"
synonyms: just, equitable, fair-minded, open-minded, honest, upright, honourable, trustworthy; More
2.
(of hair or complexion) light; blonde.
"a pretty girl with long fair hair"
synonyms: blond(e), yellow, yellowish, golden, flaxen, light, light brown, light-coloured, strawberry blonde, tow-coloured, platinum, ash blonde, bleached, bleached-blonde, sun-bleached, peroxide, bottle-blonde; More
adverb
1.
without cheating or trying to achieve unjust advantage.
"no one could say he played fair"
2.
dialect
to a high degree.
"she'll be fair delighted to see you"