format_quote Originally Posted by
Life1010
I have the following problem: I am converted to Islam 5 years ago and my mother is a very Islamophobic person and always wants to talk me out of being a Muslim. Now we had a fight because she said at my new school I'm a Christian and that's like a slap in the face for me. Once my teacher shouted at me in the class in front of everyone because I fasted in Ramadan. In a year I'm of age but unfortunately I can not do any training because of bad chances. I was tormented very often. My Iman is like steel that's why I think a lot, but I'm very often bad, because I want to finally wear hijab and undisturbed Muslima without having to constantly hide me. From the outside I get so much pressure and relatives of mine wanted to shred me when it came out as I was Muslim. I do not want to belong to this KuffrFamilie I am constantly sad and anxious. If somebody asks me if I am muslima I'm afraid to answer alhamdulillah yes I'm so down but I love Islam too much I can not leave it because Islam saved my life and is my pride and joy.
That is sad to hear. I was born a Muslim. I should be humble because a lot of Christians had a hard life before they knew the truth. It's hard without having simple knowledge of it when young and simply not born a Muslim. I pondered about that a few days ago. It was a long time that I hadn't thought of that fully well. Back to your problem. It just hit a little something me when you said your teacher shouted at you for fasting. What exactly did happen? Did she just do that out of no reason at all? Think about it. Maybe there was something(a reason) behind that. We have conscience, and these people have it too. We have a responsibility as Muslims, for we have the knowledge. I understand you are in a situation of hopelessness, just like what I was before. If you only knew. I still have that problem, but now it's a blessing. A blessing in disguise. There are these ghosts telling what's inside my brain. If I hadn't prayed and came back to Islam, reading the Quran, increasing my faith everyday by learning more about Islam, and so on, I would be lost and utterly scared and ruined, I tell you, back into the abyss of hopelessness, struggle, defiance, greed, solitude, envy, ignorance, selfishness, materialism, and all evil. I had lots of failed attempts of suicide. I vow never to return to that situation again, and so, I am praying now everyday all the 5 prayers, and when I cannot sleep at night, and sometimes it reaches morning(because of the ghosts), I pray. It is good that you love Islam and want to stay with it. Allah bless us all. Try to talk to an Imam or a very trustworthy friend. I prefer a girl, for when a boy and girl is alone with each other, Satan is in the middle. We, the slaves of Allah, are here for you. But always remember that it is Allah, the best of helpers, who can truly be there to help you. Follow his commandments as much as you can. If you are ever worried, just say, "Whatever Allah wills" and depend on him 100%. He will direct your path. Straighten it. Right now, I don't mind much more what the ghosts say unlike before, because I don't care anymore if whether I am intelligent or I said something of reason, and my head feels lighter, and when night comes, my head still feels a little lighter or I don't notice it's heaviness anymore. I am oh so thankful. Having gratitude can save us. What we appreciate increases. Remember, all our actions, even it be little, are counted, seen by Allah, even the most smallest atomic one.
As-salamu alaykum. You can use reason and religion both. It has reason of course. Stay calm when you feel like you are losing your faith and everything is crumbling down because of others and they are many. I live in Luzon, the uppermost region of the Philippines, and it is Christian-dominated. I became lost. I would pray as much as I can, but it wasn't everyday. I had little experience and knowledge in Islam, yet I am thankful, for even one single ayah(verse) in the Holy Quran or Quran. Take it easy. It is both good to say that. What's important is everyday, I stay resilient, enjoy the hardships and trials when it afflicts me. Alhamdullilah for that and for whatever ease or comfort or good that befalls me. Both. I wasn't like that before. I had an aethiest mind, a christian mind, or whatever mind. A so free mind without guidance from Allah. Know that it is not only on the Quran you can find good knowledge. Even some Christian sourced knowledge has good in them, but be careful. Islam is the religion of peace and ease. Allah doesn't want to burden us. I am limp now. Long story. At first, I had little faith and did not pray, for I was praying back then, only while using Marijuana, and I didn't know that that intoxication ruins my prayers, and it is invalid, yet, I think Allah recorded the effort, but my pride and ignorance and stupidity, making a rash decision to jump at the balcony or terrace of the 3rd floor we're in made me limp. I wanted to become stronger than this Parkour artist named David Belle, for I shouted to my father back then that I would be the STRONGEST, and was unaware that it was Allah who is that. This me coming back to Islam cured me from that sickness of endless desire and want of nothingness. I was high too. I saw a girl, a christian one, and it motivated me more to show off. She was wearing sexy clothing. SEX is such a powerful drive in us, that fasting, making it unavailable, restrains us and makes us control it. Girls are raped and tortured, inserted of knives in their vaginas or a bottle of wine. Ever heard of the Japanese girl who was brutally tortured by some youngsters? It was deadly. You can't just blame anybody. "It is men." "No. It is the women". That is why wearing a hijab is a commandment of Allah for women. When I see a woman wearing a hijab, I do not desire her in a way that my only desire for her is good, unlike the delusional desire of seeing a girl in sexy clothing, which has lust, hate, envy, and all those evils. Why envy? Because men, scientically, and even me, might also be turned on thinking of being the one to submit or something like that, and when they see these girls of too much pride in their beauty, showing it off, we also feel a little bit jelous or something, depending on the person. I admit, I'm a little bit gay, and before, I was so gay, but not officially or publicly, maybe just discreet, and I'm fighting it. Now, that doesn't matter. I want to really follow all in Islam. Now, I'm saying this because we can relate to each other. There is hate on these girls they hurt, because they feel they are being tempted all the time, and making life hard for men to just get a wife, or sex, or those things, love? Let us place Allah in our heart. All dunya(worldy things) outside or in our hands if we want it or need it. Here is a free book in PDF called "Reclaim Your Heart". There, I learned that.
https://learnfreewebdesigning.files....in-mogahed.pdf
Leaders are readers. Of course, you can also be a great leader even if you're a woman.
Be resilient, and be good to those who are bad to you. I know it's hard, but try to accept that you're mother said you are a Christian. Girl, this is a battle, and you need to be strong. There will be breaks, but remember to thank both. Everyday, we get better, just stay resilient by having faith and doing your obligation like praying. Do what you can, and persist even a little(forward, positively), for Allah certainly loves that so much, when we do that, persisting even a little. If you commit suicide, you will do that eternally in hell or whatever Allah wills. He does what he wants.
You're a human. You makes mistakes along the way. What's important is we learn from those mistakes. Accept that and repent for your sins, for the best of those who sin are those who repent.
YOU ARE SPECIAL AND IMPORTANT. Remember that. To me, the Muslim society, your family(believe me, even if sometimes they don't, they're just confused and your faith can help), GOD. Your parents still take care of you, that means there is still hope they love you as a parent would. They just don't want harm to befall you. They protect you because they love you. Sometimes, it would be so irrational to you, or so tightening, but have faith. We are born weak, and Allah is all source of might and strength and power. You don't need to battle everyday. Sometimes fighting would hurt others and yourself, but the true jihad is fighting the evil within us, instead of hurting others.
Remember, you can be in love with a man, but he will never give you full completion of happiness, and you will never be contented if you seek your happiness from the dunya(worldly things) or the creation of Allah. Only Allah must be truly in your heart. Others, hand or nothing. If we rely on a man fully, he will be our God, and evil will reign in your life, if you only but know.
As much as you can, be friends with those who have Islamic faith. Yes, there are people that have Christian friends too, and made some of their friends Muslim, but just to make things easier, go with Muslim friends so that you can mold with them. Clever people solve problems. Wise people avoid them. Still, fail like a kid again. Go on. May Allah grant us peace and forgiveness.
Alhamdullilah.
PS. Maybe we can blame men, but we are weak, all of us. Men should be responsible for women, for we are mostly leaders and with might. If we blame always the girls, thinking it is the right thing to do, we will be sad and fail as men, for we have been given a responsibility. Still, you must remember, that a Muslima or Muslim girl must still rely fully on Allah, not the men who are only creations.
If you keep faith in Islam, and do good deeds(hasten on those rather than bad deeds), just follow God, his religion, then good things will come. Stay patient. Sabr. There are really challenges that will shock us, make us slip to hopelessness, and the like, things that we don't expect, but keep faith. Inshaallah, things will get better. Allah is with those who are patient and he is fast to approach you and listen to you when you remember him. He is close to you. Think of Allah much. Think of death 20 times, but leave suicide. Pray you reach the true success, Jannah. Inshaallah.