Salaam Alaikum,
I converted to Islam a couple years ago, then went AWOL 6 months after.
I am looking in to rediscovering Islam. I was inspired by a friend to rediscover my relationship with Allah.
I was hoping my brothers and sisters could address some of the reasons why I fell off.
The first was the way I was treated by people I considered to be my brothers. I was very hurt. I struggle with alcoholism (sober and strong now, alhamdulilah), and I was ridiculed for it and called a drunkard. I know alcohol is haraam and for good reason. I had an addiction I was struggling to break free of. Undoubtedly through the grace of Allah I am sober now. But I was very hurt by the way they talked to me. I was also ridiculed and called evil for expressing sympathy for secular democracy. I am from the west and see tremendous value in free and fair elections. I am not opposed to Sharia, but I wanted to see it operate democratically. Also, I expressed the opinion that non-Muslims should not be subject to Sharia, in the same way Muslims should not be subject to the laws of Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, or Atheism. I believe we should be free to live as we wish, and religion is a choice. The same people who said this to me expressed desire to kill non-Muslims. I am a man of peace, and I was taken aback by the violent language. I realize that the bad deeds and words of a select few should not steer me from Allah nor is it representative of Islam. This experience, and being ridiculed and attacked for my views and personal issues caused me to become defiant. If you find any of these views wrong, I am okay with that. Respectfully tell me why I am wrong and I will consider your perspective. I am open minded. But please do not attack me or ridicule me.
I also found the idea of hell, that my non-muslim friends and family would be put there, to be a very unsettling idea. I come from a Jewish/agnostic family (Jewish on my mom's side, agnostic on my father's). and I was told that they would burn. Also, on homosexuality, I recognize that it is haraam, but I do not have desire to hurt of kill gay people.
That is not to say I didn't find truth in Islam, because I did. What I had difficulty with was assimilating Islam into my old ideas. Maybe what I should have done is let go of my old ideas and embrace Islam as a new idea.
I will tell you that the last two years I have lived without embracing Allah, I have felt something is missing.
Let me know what you think of all of this, and offer your perspectives and suggestions, please. And remember, my mind is open. I WANT to come back to Islam. I just need guidance right now. Please do not attack or ridicule me, I beg you.
Peace be upon you.
I converted to Islam a couple years ago, then went AWOL 6 months after.
I am looking in to rediscovering Islam. I was inspired by a friend to rediscover my relationship with Allah.
I was hoping my brothers and sisters could address some of the reasons why I fell off.
The first was the way I was treated by people I considered to be my brothers. I was very hurt. I struggle with alcoholism (sober and strong now, alhamdulilah), and I was ridiculed for it and called a drunkard. I know alcohol is haraam and for good reason. I had an addiction I was struggling to break free of. Undoubtedly through the grace of Allah I am sober now. But I was very hurt by the way they talked to me. I was also ridiculed and called evil for expressing sympathy for secular democracy. I am from the west and see tremendous value in free and fair elections. I am not opposed to Sharia, but I wanted to see it operate democratically. Also, I expressed the opinion that non-Muslims should not be subject to Sharia, in the same way Muslims should not be subject to the laws of Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, or Atheism. I believe we should be free to live as we wish, and religion is a choice. The same people who said this to me expressed desire to kill non-Muslims. I am a man of peace, and I was taken aback by the violent language. I realize that the bad deeds and words of a select few should not steer me from Allah nor is it representative of Islam. This experience, and being ridiculed and attacked for my views and personal issues caused me to become defiant. If you find any of these views wrong, I am okay with that. Respectfully tell me why I am wrong and I will consider your perspective. I am open minded. But please do not attack me or ridicule me.
I also found the idea of hell, that my non-muslim friends and family would be put there, to be a very unsettling idea. I come from a Jewish/agnostic family (Jewish on my mom's side, agnostic on my father's). and I was told that they would burn. Also, on homosexuality, I recognize that it is haraam, but I do not have desire to hurt of kill gay people.
That is not to say I didn't find truth in Islam, because I did. What I had difficulty with was assimilating Islam into my old ideas. Maybe what I should have done is let go of my old ideas and embrace Islam as a new idea.
I will tell you that the last two years I have lived without embracing Allah, I have felt something is missing.
Let me know what you think of all of this, and offer your perspectives and suggestions, please. And remember, my mind is open. I WANT to come back to Islam. I just need guidance right now. Please do not attack or ridicule me, I beg you.
Peace be upon you.
brother in Islam