engagement (nisbat or mangnu)

[sofya]

Hi All, I just want to know if islam engagement in Pakistan is binding? legally or religiously? or is it a possible to break the engagement if one or 2 of the engage couple decided to break the engagement? Also, how long does usually an engagement last? Is wedding date really have to be decided during engagement?

Please help a sister out.

[AabiruSabeel]

Engagement is just an understanding between the two families that they are going to marry off their daughter and son. It has no legal or Islamic standing and can be 'broken' or called off anytime by anyone. It is not official marriage until nikah is done.

[sofya]

hi thank you. but is it mandatory to have a wedding date decided during engagement? and how long does the engagement usually last?

[AabiruSabeel]

No, it is not mandatory. As I said, engagement is just an unofficial agreement between the two families. There are no Islamic or legal rules for it and the boy and girl are still non-mahram to each other.

How long it lasts depends on the mutual understanding of the families. It can be days, it can be months, but the sooner they marry, the better.

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[sofya]

thank you brother. I am in a dilemma, I was engaged to a muslim guy for 5 years we been together however his parents, his mom did not approved of me since I'm not a muslim (which was never an issue between me and him). After sometime, we broke up due to pressure with work and his family. I found out after we broke up he got arranged and engaged by his mom. He felt the pressure for a long time from his family that he finally agreed and got engaged. But we never really stop communicating. Still now, we communicate and he talks still about our plans and goals. And our life as it still part of each other. But out of obligation he is going to marry this girl he barely knows. I pity the girl, and I pity my ex, how will I make my ex see that he had to make decision as to not hurt the girl in the long run.

[AabiruSabeel]

A Muslim and a Hindu cannot marry each other.
Even if you were a Muslim, living together or being together during the engagement period is not allowed in Islam.

The man should break all contacts with you and move on with his life. He should marry a Muslim girl. If he's not interested in the girl he is currently engaged to, then he should inform the families and ask them to find another Muslim girl. But in any case, he cannot continue to stay in touch with you.

Any sort of relation outside marriage, whether it is verbal, emotional or physical, is not allowed in Islam.