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Studentofdeed
01-11-2019, 11:14 PM
Someone harmed me in really bad way. They oppressed me and because of them I stopped eating and sleeping. I made dua against them and because of them I no longer go in the library as their friends oppressed me and bullied me and I had to quit my job as a tutor.
I began studying in the mosque and first time in my life I felt welcomed and safe.

However the person's parent came today to the mosque. I didnt say anything to them but felt insecure and scared. My whole body was shaking. I know this person's parent never harmed me and the mosque is the house of allah but I felt violated and unsafe. I honestly am worried and scared what if the person who harmed me comes to the mosque. Will allah forgive the pain and harm the person made me?
I mean I became suicidal and depressed because of them.
I want to keep going to the mosque because I love the mosque but I am scared as eveytime I see this person or anyone related to them I suffer from PTSD from the pain they made me suffer.

Please give me advice and keep me in ur duas
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Nitro Zeus
01-11-2019, 11:32 PM
Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
Someone harmed me in really bad way. They oppressed me and because of them I stopped eating and sleeping. I made dua against them and because of them I no longer go in the library as their friends oppressed me and bullied me and I had to quit my job as a tutor.
I began studying in the mosque and first time in my life I felt welcomed and safe.

However the person's parent came today to the mosque. I didnt say anything to them but felt insecure and scared. My whole body was shaking. I know this person's parent never harmed me and the mosque is the house of allah but I felt violated and unsafe. I honestly am worried and scared what if the person who harmed me comes to the mosque. Will allah forgive the pain and harm the person made me?
I mean I became suicidal and depressed because of them.
I want to keep going to the mosque because I love the mosque but I am scared as eveytime I see this person or anyone related to them I suffer from PTSD from the pain they made me suffer.

Please give me advice and keep me in ur duas
Dont worry, Quran teaches us that God Almighty Allowed us to take revenge on someone who harmed us, but He gaved us one condition when making a revenge: harm the same as the opressor did to you, not more or less because that would mean that you have become a trangressor. And also, God encourages us to forgive the oprressors because the time is short and the Day of Judgment is coming very close. And also, Quran teaches us that if you want God's forgiveness, then forgive the opressor who harmed you.
Or, if you have strong urgers to take revenge on that person, better live your vengeance up to God, let the Lord God Take revenge on that person for you on the Day of Judgment.
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Studentofdeed
01-11-2019, 11:42 PM
I making dua against them. I just hope Allah SWT punishes them. I'm scared because in the mosque I felt safe but now I do not when saw that person's parent. Please make dua for me. I'm so angry and upset at this person. It's not like I haven't trying forgiving this person. I gave them numerous chances but this person actually enjoys harming me and at school they keep trying to intimidate me. I'm fed up and scared. I cant seek revenge because I'm helpless and I fear allah and do not want to transgress. I begging allah for justice. Please tell me what should I do? I'm so scared
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Nitro Zeus
01-12-2019, 12:53 AM
Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
I making dua against them. I just hope Allah SWT punishes them. I'm scared because in the mosque I felt safe but now I do not when saw that person's parent. Please make dua for me. I'm so angry and upset at this person. It's not like I haven't trying forgiving this person. I gave them numerous chances but this person actually enjoys harming me and at school they keep trying to intimidate me. I'm fed up and scared. I cant seek revenge because I'm helpless and I fear allah and do not want to transgress. I begging allah for justice. Please tell me what should I do? I'm so scared
Dont you think that this could be a test of patience from God? If you do have patient, then He will reward you. Why else do you think God created good and evil for? Of course, He created and Allowed evil to be just for us to be tested, and it will be a day when there will be no more suffering, pain whatsoever, you will live a happy everlasting life without worries and you can even wish to have anything you desired, but now lets fo our homework for this.
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emem.masorong
01-12-2019, 02:26 AM
That is a test. Keep praying. Keep following Allah, may he be glorified and exalted's commandments. Be afraid of Allah. Not them. Make dua when you are scared when you see them. Allah is the best protector and helper. Be steadfast in the religion. Regarding your illness, ask help truly from Allah. He cures all sickness. Prayer can heal. I just made dua for you.
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*charisma*
01-12-2019, 03:17 AM
Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
omeone harmed me in really bad way. They oppressed me and because of them I stopped eating and sleeping.
How have they oppressed you?
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Studentofdeed
01-12-2019, 06:09 AM
Jazakallah khayran. And this person caused fitna for me. They intentionally intidmate me everytime in the library. Their friends spread rumors of meand gave me a bad reputation in the library. They even harassed and bullied me to the point where I broke down and couldn't work anymore in the university. This person insulted me and called me crazy when I was always kind with them. Instead this person backstabbed me and made my life miserable. I have nothing against the person's parent and I know I have no right to question their father going to the mosque but I just didnt want to see them because it was the one place where I felt safe and away from bullying and a victim of emotional abuse. Obviously their father never did anything but their presence drives the memories to surface

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I feel guilty for having these thoughts about not wanting to see that person's parent st the masjid
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*charisma*
01-12-2019, 08:02 AM
Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
Jazakallah khayran. And this person caused fitna for me. They intentionally intidmate me everytime in the library. Their friends spread rumors of meand gave me a bad reputation in the library. They even harassed and bullied me to the point where I broke down and couldn't work anymore in the university. This person insulted me and called me crazy when I was always kind with them. Instead this person backstabbed me and made my life miserable. I have nothing against the person's parent and I know I have no right to question their father going to the mosque but I just didnt want to see them because it was the one place where I felt safe and away from bullying and a victim of emotional abuse. Obviously their father never did anything but their presence drives the memories to surface

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I feel guilty for having these thoughts about not wanting to see that person's parent st the masjid
While I know you're in a lot of emotional pain, I do think you have an issue with anxiety. This person should not be important to you, therefore you should not give their words any validation or power. If you know who you are and you know the truth, then it does not matter what others think. In the end the truth always prevails anyway. If you are a kind person and aren't anything they said about you and you haven't done anything wrong then the worries you have should not be there to begin with as your conscience is clean.

Bro trust me when I say this NO ONE is worth the anxiety/depression. Your success in this life is in Allah's hands solely, and you have to believe that. You lack trust in Allah and having that trust is the absolute cure for what you're going through. You will never be able to control what other people say or do, but you can control how you feel/react towards it, even if it is the worst of things.
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Studentofdeed
01-12-2019, 08:15 AM
I understand...its the sad thing is that this person is muslim. As a muslim they harmed me. I have been doing all I can to avoid this person but it seems I can not get away. I really do not want this person to get away with it. In college everyone thinks that person is a good person. I really do not want allah swt to love this person. The reason I'm distressed is because if the person's father goes to the mosque what if they start coming? I know it's the house of allah but it's the only safe place where I feel. I do not want it to be violated. Please make dua for me
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*charisma*
01-12-2019, 08:53 AM
Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
I understand...its the sad thing is that this person is muslim. As a muslim they harmed me. I have been doing all I can to avoid this person but it seems I can not get away. I really do not want this person to get away with it. In college everyone thinks that person is a good person. I really do not want allah swt to love this person. The reason I'm distressed is because if the person's father goes to the mosque what if they start coming? I know it's the house of allah but it's the only safe place where I feel. I do not want it to be violated. Please make dua for me
Well if you understand, start applying it. And who cares if this person is at the mosque or not? This is what I mean about giving them any attention. You're there to WORSHIP, they are there to WORSHIP. Make du'a allah guides this person. Maybe they will see the error in their ways. Maybe they are going through something personal and they are using you as a target for their pain. I'm not excusing them, but the point is, move on. Don't be so obsessive. DETACH.
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Studentofdeed
01-12-2019, 11:54 AM
Jazakallah khayran. Please keep me in your duas.
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SintoDinto
01-12-2019, 12:13 PM
Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
Jazakallah khayran. Please keep me in your duas.
I will keep you in my duas, brother. I have been in your shoes before. I have been bullied countless times, because I am autistic. Please seek a counselor or an imam on this issue regarding your past issues and your anxiety and suicidal thoughts, and remember that suicide is not the answer. Remember, there are shayateen among mankind as well. This person wants you to slip, just as much as a jinn shaytan or Iblis himself, so don't let him win. If you committ suicide, you would be missing out on a potentially wonderful life, AND you would go to jahannam for eternity. That is what this iblis wants. Learn to ignore him, and go to the authorities if he gets violent, or even if the harassment gets too much. I like @*charisma* 's advice

- - - Updated - - -

On the other hand, he may be suffering from personal issues like charisma said.
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SintoDinto
01-12-2019, 01:08 PM
Originally Posted by SintoDinto
I will keep you in my duas, brother. I have been in your shoes before. I have been bullied countless times, because I am autistic. Please seek a counselor or an imam on this issue regarding your past issues and your anxiety and suicidal thoughts, and remember that suicide is not the answer. Remember, there are shayateen among mankind as well. This person wants you to slip, just as much as a jinn shaytan or Iblis himself, so don't let him win. If you committ suicide, you would be missing out on a potentially wonderful life, AND you would go to jahannam for eternity. That is what this bully wants. Learn to ignore him, and go to the authorities if he gets violent, or even if the harassment gets too much. I like @*charisma* 's advice

- - - Updated - - -

On the other hand, he may be suffering from personal issues like charisma said.
I made an edit

- - - Updated - - -

Originally Posted by SintoDinto
I made an edit
m I shouldn't have called him an iblis
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Studentofdeed
01-12-2019, 02:35 PM
Jazakallah khayran. Thank you again
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Eric H
01-13-2019, 06:44 AM
Greetings and peace be with you Studentofdeed;

I really do not want this person to get away with it.
I went through a similar journey and ended up being unfairly sacked in 2011; from a job I had been doing for ten years. I never had a day of sick, I did a lot of the jobs other people seemed afraid to do, caring for people with challenging behaviour.

I did not want to break contact with the people I was caring for, and have since done over two thousand hours of voluntary work for the people who sacked me. It has been easier for me to do two thousand hours of voluntary work, rather than hold onto any anger and hate I could have for them. I know this to be true; because in the past I have lived with real anger; I know how it has made me feel; it eats away at the soul and makes you feel miserable. I am determined that I will not be controlled by anger again.

This lesson takes years to learn, because you have to do it and experience it, there are no short cuts, pray to Allah for patience.

Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
I really do not want allah swt to love this person.
It is easier to pray for this person to be blessed rather than to be cursed, this has been my prayer for those who have hurt me -

Now may the peace of the Lord be with you, now and always.
May the Lord bless you
May the Lord keep you
And may God's face shine upon you always
And give you peace.


You will find peace in your heart, in the way that you want peace for all others. This is s lifetime struggle

Blessings,
Eric
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Nitro Zeus
01-13-2019, 11:09 AM
Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
Someone harmed me in really bad way. They oppressed me and because of them I stopped eating and sleeping. I made dua against them and because of them I no longer go in the library as their friends oppressed me and bullied me and I had to quit my job as a tutor.
I began studying in the mosque and first time in my life I felt welcomed and safe.

However the person's parent came today to the mosque. I didnt say anything to them but felt insecure and scared. My whole body was shaking. I know this person's parent never harmed me and the mosque is the house of allah but I felt violated and unsafe. I honestly am worried and scared what if the person who harmed me comes to the mosque. Will allah forgive the pain and harm the person made me?
I mean I became suicidal and depressed because of them.
I want to keep going to the mosque because I love the mosque but I am scared as eveytime I see this person or anyone related to them I suffer from PTSD from the pain they made me suffer.

Please give me advice and keep me in ur duas
I just forgot to tell you something. Im grade 7, I was a subject of mockery for nothing and that crazy boy started to do horrible things to me that made me later to seek vengeance upon him, and I was taught by my Muslim father, "you have not been created by God just to make problems for others, for you're job in this world is only to worship God without committing shirk and perform some virtues, this is all what you have to do" he told me this because he found and heared that I was gonna make to that person some serious problems to the point where he is gonna hate the day he was born out of revenge. And my Christian mother told me: "God does not like those who seek vengeance, He likes you to forgive that boy and mind you're own business". It took years when I started to cool down and then when I entered in a high school, I had some awesome class mates and we were treating each other as brothers and sisters even though wemay fight sometimes, but later we forgive each other and we took the fight as a joke. And since I entered in that high school, I begin to forget that boy and my desire for vengeance towards him have vanished comoletely and I no longer needed. What I have learnt here is that it was a test of patience. And even if you think that you're life is horrible, try to think yourself saying: "No, I'm gonna wait until a door to peace will be opened for me". And try not to think of them, try to do your favorite activities that can occupy your mind with it so that you can forget about it, but you also have to make some efforts to forget.
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Studentofdeed
01-13-2019, 02:31 PM
I'm sorry but I disagree with both of you. How can you forgive someone who has no remorse? This person actually enjoys hurting me and the sad thing is they try to psylogically hurt me whenever they get a chance. They are even muslim, that's what hurts. For you guys to say ignore and forgive is just silly. I became extremely suicidal and depressed because of this person and constantly an worried whether I will get justice or if they person will go to heaven. I know in islam they say worry about yourself, but your telling me that if someone is actively harming you and oppressing you for a such a long time that you break down eveytime you see them and it hurts even more that everyone thinks they are good person. No I do not want person to get away. It's not like I gave this person numerous chances to stop or amend the situation, they just do not care. So it actually hurts me more when people say ignore it. How can you ignore someone who psychology abuses and preys on others? I'm making dua and I am scared that on the day of judgement allah will overlook their oppression on me.
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Nitro Zeus
01-13-2019, 04:23 PM
Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
I'm sorry but I disagree with both of you. How can you forgive someone who has no remorse? This person actually enjoys hurting me and the sad thing is they try to psylogically hurt me whenever they get a chance. They are even muslim, that's what hurts. For you guys to say ignore and forgive is just silly. I became extremely suicidal and depressed because of this person and constantly an worried whether I will get justice or if they person will go to heaven. I know in islam they say worry about yourself, but your telling me that if someone is actively harming you and oppressing you for a such a long time that you break down eveytime you see them and it hurts even more that everyone thinks they are good person. No I do not want person to get away. It's not like I gave this person numerous chances to stop or amend the situation, they just do not care. So it actually hurts me more when people say ignore it. How can you ignore someone who psychology abuses and preys on others? I'm making dua and I am scared that on the day of judgement allah will overlook their oppression on me.
Then thats mean, you dont want to have God's forgiveness. If you want to take revenge on them, then do it, for no one can stop you. Just think a little bit, if everyone would be like you by having strong irgers of taking revenge on someonex then guess what would be then? A total world wide chaos, and it will be also great disasters, so it is worthy to take revenge on them? no, because life is too short and the Judgment Day is aproaching fast, so better forgive so that you will have a splendid Day. I will pray for God To Make you be patient, and grant you power so that you can earn a big reward on that Day for your patience. The best thing to do is: ignore them totally even if they continue so that one day they will realize that they were oppressors and trangressors, then if God wishes they will come to ask you to grant forgiveness for their evil. Remember this: "Vengeance is the weapon of a fool".
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xboxisdead
01-13-2019, 05:46 PM
Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
I'm sorry but I disagree with both of you. How can you forgive someone who has no remorse? This person actually enjoys hurting me and the sad thing is they try to psylogically hurt me whenever they get a chance. They are even muslim, that's what hurts. For you guys to say ignore and forgive is just silly. I became extremely suicidal and depressed because of this person and constantly an worried whether I will get justice or if they person will go to heaven. I know in islam they say worry about yourself, but your telling me that if someone is actively harming you and oppressing you for a such a long time that you break down eveytime you see them and it hurts even more that everyone thinks they are good person. No I do not want person to get away. It's not like I gave this person numerous chances to stop or amend the situation, they just do not care. So it actually hurts me more when people say ignore it. How can you ignore someone who psychology abuses and preys on others? I'm making dua and I am scared that on the day of judgement allah will overlook their oppression on me.
You really want to spend the ticket you have....THE POWEEER you have and waste it on this Dunaya and seek revenge in this Dunaya? Seriously!! Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) have handed you a "super deluxe gold card ticket" and he wants you to spend it on the after life not in this Dunaya. Be patient, man! Exercise patience. Keep that super gold card ticket that no one (even you can see it) and when you die...yes...it should be spend after you go through the horrible diseases and calamities of this world and it should be spend after you go the agony of death and it should be spend after you see the angels pull your soul and wrap you with the clothes from paradise and you should spend the card AFTER THE HORN IS BLOWN and you are standing for 50,000 years when the sun is an inch away from your head....THERE it is where you spend the card. When Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) calls your name and your day of judgement begins ...you have with you that super gold card ticket......THERE SPEND IT....BWAHAHAH! I have an advice to you in how to spend it....when Allah (Subahanu Wa Talaa) bring your oppressor in the day of judgement the one that almost caused you to commit suicide and make you enter eternal hellfire...that person ask Allah (Subhanahu Wa talaa) that you want all his paradise. Ask him that you want all his good deeds, ask him you want to give your bully all your bad deeds....that super deluxe gold card ticket disappears from your hand because you spend it there. There my friend is where you won. You will leave with your feathers high..truting about entering your paradise and HIS PARADISE and as you enter .....with every single good deed you have much more compiled than ever before.....you will smile and laugh and point at him as he is suffering in pain in hellfire.

What better revenge than that, man? What better revenge than tha!? Don't spend it here for 2 seconds of satisfaction? GRAB THAT SUPER DELUXE GOLD CARD TICKET with your life and don't let it go away. If your oppressor oppress you more....my advice to you...is go to the vegetable/fruit store and buy the best fruits you can ever find...high end quality...don't be cheap mate...spend 60 dollars if you must for the top of line quality fruits..place it in a basket...wrap it in a bow, have a smiley card and say on it, "Thank you! Thank you for what you have done to me and thank you for what you have given me!" Go personally to his house and knock the door...hand him the fruit basket by hand, smile and say your salaam and leave.

Say he says, "WAADJHASD!@#*&@!*#&@!" and he takes the basket..stomps on it..throws it and runs at you as your leaving and he pushes you to the floor...have your face fall right on the mud and he starts beating you on the face, kicks you on the stomach, swears at you even defecate on you for added measure...rub yourself, smile...and leave. All that action he would do to you will only add more into your super deluxe gold card ticket and instead of been super deluxe gold card ticket it will be an elite super deluxe super deluxe gold card ticket. He will suffer more and you will gain more. Picture this...the more he oppress the more unimaginable reward the eyes, hearts and even imagination have never seen.

Remember when Allah (Subhanhu Wa Talaa) creates paradise it is not a fluffy cloud on the sky with a hollow on top of your head and you play the string going "tig tag, tig tag" with bird wings and that is it. That is what the non-Muslims believe. Paradise is of the eyes have never seen, no imaginations on this world can come close, no heart could have ever desired it would....only because in this world our desires, eyes and imaginations are restricted and limited so naturally here you cannot desire something you have never imagined it and you can never imagine it because your are restricted and limited to your imagination and your eyes can never see it because the light paradise is even more powerful than the sun above our heads. But you will not regret it if you exercise patience. Trust me. You will not regret it.
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Studentofdeed
01-13-2019, 07:30 PM
Why am I being chastised? I'm not going to seek revenge because I fear I will transgress and I fear allah. But I can't do anything because I'm helpless. I wanted to come and ask if whether despite being muslim, if they are harming me , will they ever be punished? Rather than helping me, you guys are making me out to be some hateful person. It's the person who wronged me and made my life miserable. It hurts me that rather than helping me , I get criticized because I'm hurt and upset
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Studentofdeed
01-13-2019, 08:08 PM
Honestly what can I do? I'm trying to be patient but what would help me sleep at night and move on is that this person will be punished and held accountable? It's what kept the sahabas strong because they knew the disbelievers would be punished. Problem is that Is person is muslim...
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Nitro Zeus
01-13-2019, 08:19 PM
Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
Honestly what can I do? I'm trying to be patient but what would help me sleep at night and move on is that this person will be punished and held accountable? It's what kept the sahabas strong because they knew the disbelievers would be punished. Problem is that Is person is muslim...
You can recite this Dua:

"O Allah the stars have gone far away and the eyes are rested. You are Alive and Infinite, You do not slumber nor does sleep overtake You. Oh Alive and the Everlasting One, grant me rest tonight and let my eyes sleep (close)".

Everyone is held accountible. All will be questioned on that Day for every single deed each one has done. So dont worry, you just have to trust God that everything will be good. Quran says that God is with those are patient. So try your best to be patient and not to think about them. Allways think like this "thats ok, tomorrow it will be a new good day". This is one of the times in which it is a great opportunity for you to seek closeness to God. You need to make constant Dua and be firm that you will find peace.
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M.I.A.
01-14-2019, 12:55 AM
It's a small world really.

But if you are consumed by remembrance of them then what good are your prayers?

And to be fair a thought of you probably hasent even crossed their minds.

So the best way to move on is to forgive them.. or go over and strike up a conversation.. see what happens.

...no, not really the intent you can keep hold of...Or the autopilot you work on.

So maybe we will work on self deception, your the problem.

The only way to not be a victim is to be clear of conscience. To figure out if they live in your sins or something else.

Allah swt raises and lowers as he wills.

..if you were any other way you wouldn't be posting.


Fear Allah swt, everything else will fall into place.



...probably.

It's easier said than done, I assume it comes naturally to some people.

Maybe if you could just turn away a thought then you would realise what your not.

I'm sorry if this makes no sense.


But the irony of having food and not eating or having a bed and not sleeping.. this is not oppression..

This is about thought process.


...I could rant on about how people make people Ill but that is for another late night.

Strange and testing times.. for some.
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Eric H
01-14-2019, 08:34 AM
Greetings and peace be with you Studentofdeed;

what would help me sleep at night and move on is that this person will be punished and held accountable
Injustice happens all the time, and often we cannot get real justice on this earth; this is the cause of anger.

Anger is like picking up a burning coal with the intention of throwing it at the person who angers you, and the person who gets burned the most is you. The longer you hold onto this burning coal of anger, the hotter it becomes. This is what is happening to you.

The person who angers you; controls you. It is like they have a remote control, and they just keep pressing the buttons that cause you pain. They could be thousand miles away or even dead, and they will still control your thoughts. This is what is happening to you, because you give them permission to control your thoughts. You should be the only person that controls what goes on in your mind - not them.

You have the power to take this control away from them by forgiving them, look back on some of the posts on this thread, a number of people have given you good advice.

Blessings,#
Eric
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