format_quote Originally Posted by
Mandy
Were you referring to a specific girl of that nationality that you know? If not, why were you so set on marrying someone only from that specific culture? Maybe that is what surprised your parents and family friends?
As for your questions, muslims are muslims. Yes there are cultural differences, but being from a specific sub culture does not make them any less Muslim than you and your parents. That being said, I can understand why culture might make a poor match in some cases. (For instance, if you absolutely hate rice and marry a muslim from a culture that cooks everything with rice, well, you that might not make for happy dinner times!). But that obviously has no relation to being a "special type of muslim".
I had at least one girl in mind who my mother knew about who was from that nationality, yes. And a second one who I knew indirectly, but hardly knew anything about. I mentioned her to my mother, too. But I didn't bring them up in conversation. I mentioned the ethnicity in general. I don't why sister, perhaps it's because they have their own cultural center/masjid now (and the ones who support erdogan spy on the ones who support gulen so nobody comes to ours anymore, i hear they learned the internal spying back when they were opprressed by the communists, so now I feel like I am completely cut off from most of the girls so it adds a little mystery and keeps me chaste and pious because in the past i would have trouble controlling myself at the other cultural center which was originally for turks but now friday prayer is home to pakistanis, arabs, africans, etc. so ow i have a bad reputation) also not to mention the ethnic group has always been a little mysterious and i enjoyed their "village like nature" it made (some of the) men friendly and funny (but often rowdy or aggressively or toxically masculine) and the women feminine and hospitable. but yes, that is true race or ethnicity shouldn't matter. it's sad to hear that racism is so common among muslims (based on what i heard from others, not myself), and yes, i couldn't tolerate cultures that cooked bad food....ugh. but that shouldn't be a problem. i went over to two ahiska households and the food was delicious. (although im pretty sure i only hate heavily at one)
EDIT: i also have a strong protective drive and a desire to help others, so the fact that they were oppressed by soviets and by the russians in the 90s and early 2000s and central asian governments just like the uighurs (also turkic) are by the communist chinese and they carry on some of that oppression (just like the uighurs, the women were forced to marry atheist communists so now they speak russian, in addition to because of indoctrination), and because many of them lack an education i feel pity for them
EDIT: I also regularly see them at a shop to fix my mom' broken used cars that constantly break down
EDIT: Plus not to mention if I had married someone of my own nationality, I would marry someone my own age, right after college but the ahiska turkish girls marry right after high school, so the age gap would keep a balance, although one of the girls isn't much younger than me but at least i would be able to marry her while she's in college