Assalamwalekum brother I have three Teenagers

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Sabina12

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please help me out I want to know a surah that I can recite to make my kids obedient
 
Dear sister, the only trick is patience. I have 3 sons, and it certainly is not easy.
If you ever find a perfect way to manage them, let me know!!
 
How about persuading them [MENTION=43476]Mandy[/MENTION] and Sabina, but with gentleness? we men and older boys are logical creatures, not emotional creatures like women or girls, but we still appreciate and need love from our mothers.
 
SintoDinto said:
How about persuading them @Mandy and Sabina, but with gentleness? we men and older boys are logical creatures, not emotional creatures like women or girls, but we still appreciate and need love from our mothers.
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Who said boys did not need love form their mothers?
Maybe I did not come across the way I wanted to. I as just making a little joke to encourage Sabina. Children can sometimes be a handful. But they are a blessing in my life and I would not be anywhere as good a person if I did not have them.
 
Sabina12 said:
please help me out I want to know a surah that I can recite to make my kids obedient
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:wasalamex

As parents, whatever we want our children to be , we must try to be that ourselves first. If we want them to be obedient, we should try to increase in our obedience to Allah. If we want them to be loving, we need to be loving towards them. Etc

Raising children is not easy and they really test our limits - may Allah make it easy for us all. Aameen
 
Sabina12 said:
please help me out I want to know a surah that I can recite to make my kids obedient
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Surah Ibrahim is a beautiful surah where Ibrahim as made dua for his children - there is certainly much to learn from his life and his actions. Ofcourse Allah is the one that guides so never lose hope.

Fi amanillah
 
SintoDinto said:
How about persuading them [MENTION=43476]Mandy[/MENTION] and Sabina, but with gentleness? we men and older boys are logical creatures, not emotional creatures like women or girls, but we still appreciate and need love from our mothers.
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Edit : I just realized that the OP wrote "teenagers".

To be honest, i read that as "daughters".



Misread
 
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Wow, this forum is really toxic. "Men this, women that" -- heck, when I become a parent, I would raise both genders equally. Ever heard about sexism? Cause that is what this forum is turning into: blatant sexism.
 
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Pink_Uniqueorn said:
Wow, this forum is really toxic. "Men this, women that" -- heck, when I become a parent, I would raise both genders equally. Ever heard about sexism? Cause that is what this forum is turning into: blatant sexism.
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I apologize, sister, i was merely pointing out the differences between the sexes, i wasn't saying any gender was superior!

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Pink_Uniqueorn said:
Wow, this forum is really toxic. "Men this, women that" -- heck, when I become a parent, I would raise both genders equally. Ever heard about sexism? Cause that is what this forum is turning into: blatant sexism.
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also, sorry if i triggered you......

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Pink_Uniqueorn said:
Wow, this forum is really toxic. "Men this, women that" -- heck, when I become a parent, I would raise both genders equally. Ever heard about sexism? Cause that is what this forum is turning into: blatant sexism.
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also there's nothing wrong with being emotional........ever hear of the myers briggs type indicator? (MBTI) there's 4 dichotomies of traits with 26 different personality types like INFP (Introverted Intuitive FEELER (emotion and feelings and group consensus based) perceiver) and INTP (Introverted Intuitive THINKER (logic based) Perceiver) with different cognitive types. google it. it's used in personality psychology and in career counseling and university counseling.
 
SintoDinto said:
I apologize, sister, i was merely pointing out the differences between the sexes, i wasn't saying any gender was superior!

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also, sorry if i triggered you......

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also there's nothing wrong with being emotional........ever hear of the myers briggs type indicator? (MBTI) there's 4 dichotomies of traits with 26 different personality types like INFP (Introverted Intuitive FEELER (emotion and feelings and group consensus based) perceiver) and INTP (Introverted Intuitive THINKER (logic based) Perceiver) with different cognitive types. google it. it's used in personality psychology and in career counseling and university counseling.
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When did I say being emotional is a bad thing? Quote the post where I said emotional = crap. I just said it is not okay to generalize and bring stereotypes into every freaking thing -- but that is the way this site works I guess, so forget it. A science lesson will not change my views about sexism, so thank you, next.
 
Pink_Uniqueorn said:
When did I say being emotional is a bad thing? Quote the post where I said emotional = crap. I just said it is not okay to generalize and bring stereotypes into every freaking thing -- but that is the way this site works I guess, so forget it. A science lesson will not change my views about sexism, so thank you, next.
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i see your point. i apologize if i hurt your feelings. [MENTION=43476]Mandy[/MENTION] ?
 
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Sabina12 said:
please help me out I want to know a surah that I can recite to make my kids obedient
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Asalamu Alaykum Sis Sabina,

May Allah (SWT) make it easy for you. Having children is such a big responsibility. I have never felt this responsibility until I had my daughter. I cannot give you any help or any advice. (My daughter has not reached adolescent. ) But I can only Make dua to soften your children's hearts and to be obedient to you. Make duaa for them this is your biggest weapon. Use it.
 
SintoDinto said:
I apologize, sister, i was merely pointing out the differences between the sexes, i wasn't saying any gender was superior!
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Maybe she was pointing to my post before I edited that, not your post.

I've planned to create new thread for explain my view about the difference between raising boy and girl.
 
SintoDinto said:
i see your point. i apologize if i hurt your feelings. @Mandy ?
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I am sorry brother, when I posted my reply I was in the middle of cooking as well as on the phone with a friend. I think I read your reply too quickly and misinterpret it. Very sorry for my little outburst.
 
ardianto said:
Maybe she was pointing to my post before I edited that, not your post.

I've planned to create new thread for explain my view about the difference between raising boy and girl.
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Both of you made offensive posts. So, no, I was referring to both of you.
 
Mandy said:
I am sorry brother, when I posted my reply I was in the middle of cooking as well as on the phone with a friend. I think I read your reply too quickly and misinterpret it. Very sorry for my little outburst.
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no i was asking for help in dealing with pink uniqueron i wasn't upset with you......sorry if i came across that way and confused you, sister
 
Pink_Uniqueorn said:
When did I say being emotional is a bad thing? Quote the post where I said emotional = crap.
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But it is still offensive to think every woman or girl is an "emotional creature" and that every boy or man is a "logical creature." I know dumb guys (literally), and I also know girls whose emotions are close to non-existent (literally). Likewise, I know girls who are smart, and boys who are emotionally sensitive.

I am also confused. What were you trying to prove by stating the following:
SintoDinto said:
also there's nothing wrong with being emotional........ever hear of the myers briggs type indicator? (MBTI) there's 4 dichotomies of traits with 26 different personality types like INFP (Introverted Intuitive FEELER (emotion and feelings and group consensus based) perceiver) and INTP (Introverted Intuitive THINKER (logic based) Perceiver) with different cognitive types. google it. it's used in personality psychology and in career counseling and university counseling.
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I mean, thank you for the information; citing something to support your claim is nice, but how does this, a personality type test, in any way mean every girl and woman is supposed to be an emotional mess? (I mean, anyone can tell I am an emotional piece of crap, but my sister is most certainly not.) Please do explain, thank you.

(I wanted to ask yesterday, but I was too sleepy to do my research and ask questions.)
 
Pink_Uniqueorn said:
But it is still offensive to think every woman or girl is an "emotional creature" and that every boy or man is a "logical creature." I know dumb guys (literally), and I also know girls whose emotions are close to non-existent (literally). Likewise, I know girls who are smart, and boys who are emotionally sensitive.

I am also confused. What were you trying to prove by stating the following: I mean, thank you for the information; citing something to support your claim is nice, but how does this, a personality type test, in any way mean every girl and woman is supposed to be an emotional mess? (I mean, anyone can tell I am an emotional piece of crap, but my sister is most certainly not.) Please do explain, thank you.

(I wanted to ask yesterday, but I was too sleepy to do my research and ask questions.)
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no, no, no, you don't understand, i didn't say every woman or girl is an emotional mess! read this: https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/thinking-or-feeling.htm?bhcp=1

a feeler is someone who makes a decision based on values, harmony, and the people involved and their feelings. a thinker thinks based on (often cold hearted) logic i am a thinker, and IIIIII often am the one who is an emotional mess, and feelers can make just as much sense as a thinker because they're not cold hearted and detached from feelings (not that every thinker is one). women (generally, not always this is their inclination) have the tendency to communicate more and think in group consensus, while men tend to think in terms of things like "reason" and mechanical thinking. But this IS NOT always the case. a woman can be a hard core scientist or doctor who may not even want to get married, and a man can be an elementary school teacher, or even overly sensitive or what the right wing party in my country calls a "bleeding heart liberal" or a "snowflake" (I myself suffered from being very sensitive emotionally, and I still am very sensitive and caring about the needs of others in my life and around the world, especially those suffering under oppression, and my dark side is seeking vengeance on the evildoers) could someone please explain this for me.
 
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SintoDinto said:
no, no, no, you don't understand, i didn't say every woman or girl is an emotional mess! read this: https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/thinking-or-feeling.htm?bhcp=1

a feeler is someone who makes a decision based on values, harmony, and the people involved and their feelings. a thinker thinks based on (often cold hearted) logic i am a thinker, and IIIIII often am the one who is an emotional mess, and feelers can make just as much sense as a thinker because they're not cold hearted and detached from feelings (not that every thinker is one). women (generally, not always this is their inclination) have the tendency to communicate more and think in group consensus, while men tend to think in terms of things like "reason" and mechanical thinking. But this IS NOT always the case. a woman can be a hard core scientist or doctor who may not even want to get married, and a man can be an elementary school teacher, or even overly sensitive or what the right wing party in my country calls a "bleeding heart liberal" or a "snowflake" (I myself suffered from being very sensitive emotionally, and I still am very sensitive and caring about the needs of others in my life and around the world, especially those suffering under oppression, and my dark side is seeking vengeance on the evildoers) could someone please explain this for me.
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Okay, now I get it. Thank you very much for explaining it so well. :) But just a word of advice, saying something like
we men and older boys are logical creatures, not emotional creatures like women or girls
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will certainly be problematic in the future. It is just better to phrase it properly and include your views on gender equality while stating something so controversial. It will save you the worry of apologizing every single time and having to explain yourself. Also, what do you mean by
could someone please explain this for me.
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? What do you want to be explained to you? Or was your question a rhetorical one? I am curious, literally not being sarcastic.

P.S.: As a sensitive person myself, I want to say this: sorry that it felt like I was attacking you; I just wanted to clear my doubts. I mean, since you are sensitive, there is a chance little misunderstandings and arguments can cause some pain and stress -- sorry in advance. I did not want my posts to turn out as aggressive as they sounded (if they sounded aggressive to anyone).
 

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