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RisingLight

RisingLight

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Salam Alaikum

I have received bad news today and lately my life has been very bad again.I have experienced and am still experiencing the biggest anxiety period of my life,along with severe depression,loneliness,sadness,stress, all bad feelings you can mention.

Its gotten so hard especially today that i am even having thoughts of doing the worst things.

I feel again like Allah doesnt care about me,like He never cared for all these years ive been through this,and i dont know can i do more

If Allah cared about me why would I still be here,i cant pray a salah with concentration,cant fast,cant do anything that i want to do.Im not this kind of muslim im sure am better.
I want a chance to proove it and if am not then let me go in jahannam but am sure i am,because when i have lived alone i was way way better than this.


All i want is to get out of here so i can be a free muslim,but all my efforts of getting out arent working.I dont know why i have to suffer here so much and in the day of judgement be asked why i didnt do this or that when i cant do it.I want to do it wallah but i cant.
I cant even put alarm for fajr,so i have to stay wait awake the whole night,and its ruining my health but i dont care cuz i put Allah first.
And now the thought of Him not caring about me is making me loose hope and give up in everything.
I wish i stopped existing...
Im I a terrible person? Why am going through such a torture?
 
RisingLight said:
Salam Alaikum

I have received bad news today and lately my life has been very bad again.I have experienced and am still experiencing the biggest anxiety period of my life,along with severe depression,loneliness,sadness,stress, all bad feelings you can mention.

Its gotten so hard especially today that i am even having thoughts of doing the worst things.

I feel again like Allah doesnt care about me,like He never cared for all these years ive been through this,and i dont know can i do more

If Allah cared about me why would I still be here,i cant pray a salah with concentration,cant fast,cant do anything that i want to do.Im not this kind of muslim im sure am better.
I want a chance to proove it and if am not then let me go in jahannam but am sure i am,because when i have lived alone i was way way better than this.


All i want is to get out of here so i can be a free muslim,but all my efforts of getting out arent working.I dont know why i have to suffer here so much and in the day of judgement be asked why i didnt do this or that when i cant do it.I want to do it wallah but i cant.
I cant even put alarm for fajr,so i have to stay wait awake the whole night,and its ruining my health but i dont care cuz i put Allah first.
And now the thought of Him not caring about me is making me loose hope and give up in everything.
I wish i stopped existing...
Im I a terrible person? Why am going through such a torture?
Click to expand...

Sometimes all problems can be overcome if you just stay calm at moments where most people would freak out. Don't give up regardless of how bad the situation might be and never even entertain that idea because that is what the shayteen want. Give up shouldn't be on your dictionary and I don't care if you even have killed 1000s of people but never give up nor entertain the idea it's dengerous because that is the second biggest sin.

Start from square zero by first making tawba but before you make tawba realize your faults because we as humans are not angels nor saints that we invision because they are not real because we are humans and we are bound to sin and created in such a state to sin and we are attracted towards sin by nature.

You and I are never going to be angels nor perfection because we are bound to be imperfection because that is how we were created. Don't assume yourself to be good nor assume you can reach it but instead try your best to please Allah and seek forgiveness and ask for guidance.

be graciously patient towards your outcomes and just keep rolling. Insha-allah you will find strength and also remember to ask for this in your dua also ''O Allah show me if I'm commiting mistakes that are hidden to me'' because as I said before we are only humans and alot of things can go past us
 
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Greetings and peace be with you RisingLight;

I feel again like Allah doesnt care about me
Click to expand...

As small and insignificant as any of us may feel we are, we can look to the first name of Allah with faith and trust - Ar-Rahmaan The Beneficent He who wills goodness and mercy for ALL His creatures. If Allah says this, we should believe it to be true, we should strive to become the person that Allah created us to be, and the world will become a better place.

In the spirit of never giving up hope in the mercy, compassion and kindness of Allah.

Eric
 
Walaikumus Salam

Why do you think Allah ta'ala does not care about you? Reflect over the favours of Allah and you will realise how much He loves you and when you realise this thing your heart would melt in His love.

You are a good person mashaAllah. Just know that every one of us go through these phases of depression and anxiety. It is a test from Allah and all we have to do is SABR. Allah ta'ala loves it.

Seek solace in the Qur'an, inshaAllah you'll feel better.

May Allah ta'ala keep you with aafiyah and raise your ranks.

- - - Updated - - -

https://youtu.be/cmmlcRjMokw
 

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