View Full Version : More Good or More Harmful?

06-04-2019, 12:22 AM
Assalamu Alaikum,

Listening and advising others would enable the achievement of good deeds. Yes, there is that saying. "Religion is good (sincere sound) advice". Sometimes, there could be more (unintentional yet well-meaning) harm done than good.

Noticeably, there is the importance to ensure the following: (especially regarding disputing relationships)

(1) The views of all sides ought to be known clearly
(2) The importance of one-to-one interactions
(3) Being aware of being preferential (similarities with age, gender, cultural backgrounds circumstances, achieving merit from inclining towards a particular view etc) instead acting fairly with given facts, views/understandings.
- avoiding attitudes of what I would want happen in this circumstance... (if this was me)
(4) Being sufficiently familiarized with the right knowledge and experiences to respond appropriately

Mediation is a process whereby conflicts are solved by a neutral trust-worthy person of expertise, good character and correct knowledge to guide a peaceful resolution between disputing parties.

This article gives a good understanding about Islamic Mediation practices.

I would highly recommend learning mediation to deal with various personal conflicts. A husband or wife can learn how to help him/herself achieve better dialogues and resolves conflicts, a parent can mediate conflicts with children, conflicts with other Muslims/non-Muslims (employees, neighbors, friends), conflicts with siblings, relatives etc.

The guide towards good mediation practice firstly enables one to begin with "mediating myself"- Am I fully prepared to deal with these issues in a calmly collected fair and trusted manner?

Secondly, as a mediator are you willing to objectively (with not excluding Islam beliefs, laws and practices) and meaningfully listen to both parties, (one at a time, with both parties present) and with the aim of deriving the conflicting issues?

Thirdly, as a mediator are you willing to facilitate a further query session with each person individually to cover sensitive areas and clear up any ambiguities?

Fourthly, as a mediator can you find the common interests that will promote understanding and compromise? Are you sufficiently qualified or can access correct sources of knowledge for a beneficial resolution for all involved (even the ones who are not present at the mediation meeting or whom may need to be called in at appointed times?) Are you willing to do follow-ups and ensure that the agreed upon terms is duly maintained.

Finally, a good mediator is trust-worthy and confidential....do you uphold the needed character not to defame an individual either being paid/motivated to do so otherwise or when there is an opportunity to do such (in direct odds with the person at a later time?)

These are just some few basic points on becoming a mediator with either become acquainted with meditating yourself (and others) or acting as a mediator for others.

Hopefully, one can also recognize when a neutral expert mediator is required for resolving conflicts.

Sometimes, you may have to make sacrifices; these are my rights from this particular person but the situation enables giving up these rights for the betterment of the entire family/vulnerability of someone else, or it entails seeking my rights at the forefront because it has become a necessity. We have to judge fairly.

May Allah protect us all and resolve our conflicts. Ameen.

{A reminder to myself first}


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