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View Full Version : People marrying blindly for the love and sake of Allah.....



Imraan
10-27-2020, 08:56 PM
Assalam walaikum

Anyone ever heard of or been in a position where they've asked themselves to self justify something, more specifically a marriage.. Using the saying...

"I am marrying for the sake of / for love of Allah swt... ", doesnt matter who it is, I'm still going to go for it....might be bad for me, I'm still going for it..... Feels wrong/have doubts still going for it.... Tawakkul and qadr alone will guide me where I'm supposed to go or end up or navigate me through my journey whether good or bad...

Forgive me but I think in my opinion, people are adopting this approach.

Do we come back to the hadith 'tie the camel and then leave it in the hands of Allah swt.'... I mean we supposed to take precautions right, then proceed.

Any arguments against using this approach, any advice for the youngsters... I have a lot of relatives younger than me coming of marriable age... I'd hate them to fall into traps, I do care about them and I do feel some of my relatives are naive, I'd hate to see them suffer which is understandable...
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'abd al-hakeem
10-28-2020, 12:32 PM
salaamu aleykum wa rahmatullah akhi.

Insha'Allah I hope there are some students of knowledge out there that can help with this topic as I would be interested to find this out for myself as well insha'Allah.

I can't offer much advice (my knowledge is quite small) other than to suggest looking into Salaatul Istikhara when making a decision that requires the guidance of Allah swt, beyond what is clear in the Qur'an and Sunnah.

Allah swt will guide us to an outcome befitting our deen and akhira, Insha'Allah

wa Allahu alem.






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Islami.Mu'mina
10-28-2020, 02:06 PM
Lol I would be too scared to take that approach..

They have good intentions but uhh thats not such a smart idea
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Imraan
10-28-2020, 02:07 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by 'abd al-hakeem
salaamu aleykum wa rahmatullah akhi.

Insha'Allah I hope there are some students of knowledge out there that can help with this topic as I would be interested to find this out for myself as well insha'Allah.

I can't offer much advice (my knowledge is quite small) other than to suggest looking into Salaatul Istikhara when making a decision that requires the guidance of Allah swt, beyond what is clear in the Qur'an and Sunnah.

Allah swt will guide us to an outcome befitting our deen and akhira, Insha'Allah

wa Allahu alem.




unfortunately brother, for some of our youngsters it is too late, as they have fallen and they have no choice but to let their hearts make their decisions, at which point istikhara does not benefit them due to being more guided by their heart, unless they somehow 'reboot' their heart....
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Imraan
10-28-2020, 02:14 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Islami.mu'min
Lol I would be too scared to take that approach..

They have good intentions but uhh thats not such a smart idea
course not...
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'abd al-hakeem
10-28-2020, 03:02 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Imraan
unfortunately brother, for some of our youngsters it is too late, as they have fallen and they have no choice but to let their hearts make their decisions, at which point istikhara does not benefit them due to being more guided by their heart, unless they somehow 'reboot' their heart....
May Allah swt reboot their hearts, increase their beneficial Islamic knowledge (and their understanding of it), grant them ever increasing consciousness of Allah, boost their Taqwa, and may He open the doors to, and grant success on the path to, an outcome in their situations that is best for their deen and akhira. ameen

Edit: Insha'Allah it's NEVER too late to turn back to Allah while we still live and breathe

Attachment 6989

Hasbun Allahu wa ni'mah wakeel 3:173

https://quran.com/3/173?translations=20,57




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SintoDinto
10-28-2020, 06:48 PM
Would it be unwise for me to talk to a family friend (a sister) who will be an adult by the time my mother invites them over after the pandemic? (around spring-summer 2021) . I'll be supervised, I've known her for a long time, I think we may have mutual feelings for each other but we don't talk about it explicitly, we once awkwardly implied it and moved on.

and if I married her later like I told her would it be wrong?

what i meant is if i married her while doing this, i already know i want to marry her
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Studentofdeed
10-31-2020, 12:40 AM
Brother why do you complicate things? Pray Salatul istikhara and go ask her hand for marriage. If you like her and she likes you and you think it can work, then go do it. Don't waste time. Obviously take precautions and make sure she is good but go do it in the name of Allah
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SintoDinto
11-01-2020, 02:17 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
Brother why do you complicate things? Pray Salatul istikhara and go ask her hand for marriage. If you like her and she likes you and you think it can work, then go do it. Don't waste time. Obviously take precautions and make sure she is good but go do it in the name of Allah
The issue is is that she's still in High School, albeit in her last year. when i said she would be an adult by the time the pandemic is over i meant she's almost 18. and her parents want her to get educated first.
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Imraan
11-01-2020, 06:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by SintoDinto
The issue is is that she's still in High School, albeit in her last year. when i said she would be an adult by the time the pandemic is over i meant she's almost 18. and her parents want her to get educated first.
Erm.... Shouldn't sintodinto respect the parents wishes before even thinking about getting his hopes high....

Those of us who have sisters / daughters will have already or will envisage a time and plan for the women we protect and are responsible for, what bugs me is outsiders coming and try to Interfere with the guardians plan..

Does a Muslim have a right to do that...????
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SintoDinto
11-01-2020, 07:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Imraan
Erm.... Shouldn't sintodinto respect the parents wishes before even thinking about getting his hopes high....

Those of us who have sisters / daughters will have already or will envisage a time and plan for the women we protect and are responsible for, what bugs me is outsiders coming and try to Interfere with the guardians plan..

Does a Muslim have a right to do that...????
brother, you misunderstood, that's why I'm not trying to get married right now (at least not to her). because her guardian doesn't want her to right now. so im just waiting.

as for me "waiting for her" ive decided not to obsess anyway, whoever Allah decreed for me to marry I'm happy with, I can only pray I end up happy with them and they guide me to Allah and are Muslim.
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