format_quote Originally Posted by
Mesut
Yes, I met this man online because I wanted to interview someone with ASPD (sociopath/psychopath). It has always interested me, the way they think. I also believed a family member of mine is a sociopath which is one reason I contacted this man. I met him online when he made a post about how he has OCD and ASPD. I asked him many questions which has informed me on the way these types of people think. After that I told him about my family member and how he acts, all the signs on why I believe he has ASPD. And to my surprise, this sociopath ended up knowing so much about my family member! He completely laid out the entire history of my relative's past and why he believes my relative is a sociopath. How exactly did this man know about my relative's past? It is because of the compulsive, lifeless, repetitive behaviors that my relative made a ritual, correlating to his traumatic childhood. He mapped out every one of my relative's behavior and made amazing connections. No one could have explained it better than this man. I am very thankful for the time this man took to help me understand ASPD. It was truly an amazing learning experience. It has also let me understand the way my relative thinks, so that when we argue, I can understand him a lot more easier now
Psychopaths and sociopaths are similar but different. Psychopaths genetically inherit ASPD while sociopaths get it due to trauma. Psychopaths literally cannot feel anything while sociopaths can still feel slightly more (something such as anger)
I will explain a sociopath because this is what I know the most about.
-ASPD is basically the inability to feel sympathy or emotion. Sociopaths do not know what happiness is, they do not know what it feels like to be hurt, they cannot feel love or connection to others. Even their depression is different from ours. They don't feel sad and vulnerable like us, they dont cry... Their depression is just the inability to feel anything. Just lifeless
-Sociopaths can feel a few emotions which are an exception, this includes: Anger, amusement/surprise but this one is RARE(do not confuse this with happiness, they are two different things.) Amusement is very rare for them to feel, most of the times, when you see a sociopath laugh, its fake
-Some sociopaths have extreme anger issues
- Sociopaths have common issue with hurting pet animals and little children. Why? this is because they know that these animals cannot defend themselves or get someone else to defend them. Sociopaths take advantage of it. They can do it out of pleasure as well as some people gain pleasure out of harming others
-Sociopaths feel constant boredom. They feel no emotion unlike us so really their life is very dead
-They are amazing at manipulating, they do it without even realizing. When sociopaths socialize with others in public, they do not do it because they enjoy it. They do it because they have to, or they want to benefit. It can be for an increase in social status, in order to gain something from someone, to use people, etc..
-Many sociopaths can be amazing charmers. This is also similar to the manipulation tactic, its just to benefit (There are some who really end up not caring to do it because they already get what they want)
-They dont feel wrong like we do from doing violent actions. Because they cannot feel sympathy or anger in the way we do
-They can feel lust/sexual desire but without the emotional connection. This is why you'll see that sociopaths/psychopaths who end up raping women don't even care. Some of them view women as sexual objects to relieve their sexual desire.
-Any friendship, love, or connection is really just seen as something useful. Nothing else. It's really not their fault for that because they do not have emotional intelligence.
- They can damage/hurt someone to benefit themselves if they want to. They will not feel remorse. Of course, consequences like jail can stop them because they wouldnt want to suffer those
Now that I described ASPD... Let me tell you the good things about them and why criminal sociopaths do not have any excuse
-Although they cannot emotionally sympathize, they have the ability to logically sympathize. Logical sympathy is when you may not feel bad for someone who gets hurt, but you can understand that no one likes to be harmed. So people with ASPD have the ability to tell the difference between good and bad, just not in the typical way humans would. People like you and me do rely on logical sympathy, but it stems from our emotional sympathy, which is why it is very hard for us to do evil deeds to others
The man I was talking to let me know about his experience on changing. He used his cat as an example. It was actually a really beautiful one. This man is making an attempt to understand what love is. He cannot do it to our level, but he can on a logical level. See, on top of ASPD, this man is also diagnosed with OCD. He has intrusive thoughts to violently harm someone, anyone. He doesn't want to, but he keeps getting it. People without ASPD can have OCD as well just incase you didn't know. Often, since his cat is always around him, he constantly gets thoughts to harm the cat.
Your average sociopath would probably constantly harm the cat. Why? So they can benefit and relieve their constant intrusive thoughts and since they do not feel bad. Especially he/she cannot face the consequences of animal abuse since no one would know.
Let me quote something he said about his cat
" I do sometimes hurt my cat to relieve the obsessive thoughts, but I try my best not to since my cat loves me more than any human ever could and I find love is useful in a way, because I was never shown love growing up I guess that’s why I find it somewhat useful. "
"Yeah I obsess over thinking about doing violent things to people(OCD). As for my cat, I think she is benefiting me by loving me because I have never truly been loved by anyone or anything, so she is teaching me basically as I see it. I don’t feel bad for hurting her, but I don’t want to hurt her either. Hurting her has taught me that love is actually pretty valuable, like even though I’ve hurt her she has been worried whenever I attempted suicide, and she still thinks I am the best person alive for whatever reason, she has taught me stuff and knowledge is the most powerful thing you can have in my opinion. I wouldn’t say I necessarily try to do good, I basically just try to do bad things less, I dislike being out of control, so I’ve used my therapist to learn how to control myself, it’s me being selfish honestly"
See over here how he's LOGICALLY starting to understand what love is. He understands it as something beneficial although he cannot feel it. He will not feel guilty to hurt his cat, but he won't do it anyway.
Here is another quote from him about manipulation, why sociopaths try to please others, and why some sociopaths can be angry
"The anger probably stems from growing up being angry at everything or most things, not being able to express yourself properly, being seen as different, and more; and anger is a hard emotion to control, because we have the ability to be angry so we can protect ourselves, which sometimes happens to be in overdrive in people with ASPD. People with ASPD often become people pleasers so they can get what they want, it’s a common manipulation tactic, you see this behavior throughout many species actually. I am guilty of using this manipulation tactic, I don’t do it so often now, but I still occasionally use it. "
His quote on logical sympathy
" People with ASPD can sympathize with people but it’s different from someone without ASPD, it’s something often called logical sympathy, basically we can understand why people would feel that pain, but we can’t feel bad for them, this is why we are sometimes good at seeming like we do care about there circumstances, and why other times we seem so cold"
Now, I was confused on why he would commit suicide if he cannot feel sadness on an emotional level like us. Its because their version of depression is the inability to feel anything. Especially when they are committing suicide. Some people will fail at their suicide attempts because they are too scared to or they aren't emotionally ready. Sociopaths can't really feel that. Here is another quote. I specifically asked him why he would want to commit suicide if he cannot feel the sadness
"Yes we can feel emotions, I just don’t think it’s like normal people experience them. It’s been too long for me to remember how emotions were before I developed ASPD. I think the most common emotion for us is emptiness, the inability to feel alive.Often times I will try to kill myself, because I feel the most alive whenever I am near death"
For some of them, suicide is more of an urge, to satisfy that missing feeling. They are constantly bored and dead, so this may be the solution (in their heads), to satisfy what they were longing for.
As I was talking to this man, I noticed that he expressed statements that sounded like he enjoyed talking to me on an emotional level, about his experience. Or that he felt amused connecting to another person. This is how I understood that sociopaths can easily charm. I asked him about the "emotion" he expressed while talking to me and whether it was real or not because I was genuinely curious on how his mind works. He told me that is was fake/to be normal and he doesn't find amusement in anything. I was very impressed on how he simply keeps up an act like that, he told me that it comes naturally for sociopaths
So why exactly did he develop ASPD and become a sociopath? Everyone has their own different story. His was from abuse, neglect, and years of self isolation after the trauma. Unfortunately victims of abuse are the worst type of people who should be getting self isolation, because this will effect them the most negatively as opposed to a stable person
He briefly told me his story since he doesn't feel uncomfortable talking about it. They can't get emotional over those things like we would. He was actually offering to tell me everything but I rejected it because I don't think I would have been able to handle it. He understood my choice though and thought it was better for me to decide.
Basically, he was neglected, abused mentally + physically+ sexually, locked up in lockers and raped. After that he self isolated from everyone for YEARS. What was very disturbing is I started looking through his history and one of his posts. This post was created when he stopped self isolating at last. He was confused on why he felt different. He couldn't feel much other than hate. He was confused on what was going on with his mind. He was getting an urge to hurt others, etc.. He couldn't understand what most emotion is.
He must've eventually realized after that, that he had developed ASPD.
He's also diagnosed with OCD now, bipolar.. Hes getting hallucinations often now, hearing things. I think possibly psychosis as well which i remember him talking about that
I am very grateful for him answering my questions and informing me. He is always willing to answer anything to anyone who is curious.
He has also made me realize how it is possible for them to understand what is right vs wrong.
Even though he himself manipulates by accident often without realizing it, he tries not to, even though he doesn't feel guilty about it. He acknowledges the fact that he is trying to be less of a selfish person because he knows what he is doing is wrong.
Although I do not believe he is selfish, I actually believe he is good because Allah doesn't burden a soul with more than it can take. It seems like he is trying to do good with the mental illness he has
But keep in mind, i am describing sociopaths, NOT psychopaths. Psychopaths are much more intense I haven't done my research on them but I believe they cannot feel anything at all including anger but I am not sure