Assalaam alykum akhi and happy Ramadan!
No one can say that anything is extreme unless they come forth with a clear criteria; a benchmark; a well-defined middle way from which if we swerve left or right, then we are in an extreme. If something is extreme it means to pass the limits so no one can accuse me or you of transgressing any limits unless they make clear what those limits are. We, the Muslims (alhamdulilah), have that benchmark and well-defined straight path from which any swerving would be a deviation on our part and that is Islam (ie the Quran and Sunnah).
As for the people who are saying you are being too extreme or that such and such is too extreme, it is obvious that they are judging only by what the society is engaged in. Their benchmark/yardstick is what is deemed "normal" amongst the people and their desires and since you are going against the norm, they deem that as extreme. Unfortunately, the truth of the matter is that the people themselves have fallen into all sorts of extremes: extreme negligence/carelessness/apathy with regards to the commandments of Allah; extreme adherence to traditions; extreme concern for what other people think of them; extreme attachment to dunya and desires etc.
The Prophet :saws1: said:
“Islam began as something strange and will revert to being strange as it began, so Tooba (glad tidings or a tree in Jannah) for the strangers.”(Muslim). This is the state of affairs that people are in. Because they are so far away from the Quran and the Sunnah it's people like you and me that look like the "weirdos" which in reality is an honor for us in light of this Hadith. What you are going through now is something good and it means you're on the right way. You're becoming "strange" not "extreme". Welcome to the path of the strangers!
Like I said before, the Quran and Sunnah are our benchmark to judge what is extreme or not. We are not blind followers. If islamqa says something that contradicts the Quran and Sunnah, we will not follow them. What is good about that website is that they are required to provide proof for their conclusions. This is what I am interested in: the proof. What Allah and His Messenger said regarding the matter, that is truth upon the true middle way. We are not going there to look at opinions. As for those saying that something is "too conservative" or the like, then this is something vague or arbitrary and shows that the one speaking is doing so from their personal tastes/desires and not from any criteria that any of us can judge by.
Know that the more you follow Islam, the more strange you will become. Such a path can be lonely at times but that loneliness is offset by nearness to Allah and the reassurance that comes with knowing that you are walking on the path that the noble Sahabah :ra: placed their feet upon.
or me as a layman I would love a website that uses two opposing view points of scholars on a specific topic and not just one viewpoint.
Brother, we're supposed to be united. Allah says:
"O you who have believed, obey Allah and obey the Messenger and those in authority among you. And if you disagree over anything, refer it to Allah and the Messenger, if you should believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is the best [way] and best in result." (an-Nisa: 59)
One of the reasons why Allah sent down the Quran in the first place is to settle our disputes so that we are not bickering ceaselessly left and right. Allah sent the Quran to settle our disputes and put unity between our hearts so that in any issue great or small we can all turn back to Allah's judgment and have our hearts settle upon the Truth.
With that being said, when there are legitimate differences amongst the scholars, this has been conveyed.
I hope my post is of some benefit inshAllah. May Allah make us all steadfast upon the path of the strangers. Ameen!