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anonymous
03-13-2022, 03:21 PM
Hello

I have been strongly advised by everyone including an Imam telling me that marrying outside my race is foolish. They went so far as to tell me that I have no chance. They said they even called an Imam in another state and told me they said the race that I am is more religious than others. He is forcing me to try to marry women I'm not interested in. I'm not interested in marrying people from my culture. I want to marry outside my race to fight concepts such as racism and bring the ummah together. However this Imam hated the idea and suggests it stupid and dumb. He went and spoke to families about their daughter for me without My permission. I rally do not like people my culture.

Is it wrong for me to feel this way? I do not trust my people and have bad taste. Yet this Imam says these women are all your going to be offered. Share me your thoughts and concerns
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Alfarrassani
03-14-2022, 03:05 AM
This is another case of people making Haram of a thing that is halal, there's already a thread here about someone who said they "hate" interracial marriage (hate is such a strong word, why I dislike that word to be honest) and then the forum went Turkey ham on em, you can read that up if you'd like
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anonymous
03-14-2022, 04:42 AM
Problem is I'm rejecting people from my own race as I do not really feel attractive towards them. Nor do I appreciate the culture. However is this considered as racism? Refusing to deal with one's own culture because they are your own people and you know the issues with them.

Is this a valid reason? I'm rejecting them because evrn if they are religious, I feel like I will not be compatible. Nor do I wish to waste their time as I know I will not be attracted to them. This Imam keeps insisting their "beautiful."

Im making hijarah to a place that's more diverse and filled with a larger better muslim community. I feel strongly I would have better luck there.

People however are saying I have arrogance and racist. They do not understand the trauma I have with my people.

- - - Updated - - -

I have read the post but my situation is unique
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*charisma*
03-14-2022, 05:07 AM
Assalamu Alaikum,

There's really no room for opinions regarding this topic. Islamically, Allah gave you permission to marry whomever you want racially/ethnically. The permission and opinions of others is irrelevant, so why do you search for it?

I will give you some insight though. While "attraction" is very subjective, and you've already formed prejudices against your own ethnicity, you have to realize you are in the wrong for that too. Beauty is important to an extent, but at the end of the day you do have to put certain characteristics first such as good iman, high morals, polite mannerism etc. There's nothing wrong with having your own preferences when it comes to physical attributes since that is something that we are not always in control of, but to be prejudice is something you gotta wipe out of your system. It is a very narrow-minded way of thinking and you'd be no different than those who are telling you to stay within your race.
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