Please help me!

Asalamu alaikum, I did so many deeds of kufr, I joked about religion, I succumbed to you, every day I said shahada because of them, I promised that I would not do any more of this, I also began to skip prayer, and this is kufr, even worse, this even worse than murder, knowing this, I did it, every time I want to do tawba, but in my head there are instigations, and the picture is that I am doing this Auzubillah to an Idian idol, auzubillah, as if I testify that I worship them, I promise every day and still fall into kufr , I don’t know how to make a tawba in this position, a feeling of emptiness, as if Allah closed my heart for faith because of my hypocrisy, I am very afraid of dying a kafir, I used to have no shirk at all, and now iman is very weak. I'm afraid that Allah will send me to hell. What should I do, these thoughts do not lag behind, but I seem to do tauba without desire. Help

Assalamu Alaikum,

It's very easy for Allah to forgive you, you just have to repent and make sure you stick to your prayers. When you feel far from praying, that is shaytaan keeping you away and making you feel too guilty to turn to Allah. But you should always fight this feeling and make your prayers a habit inshallah. whenever you do something wrong, just follow it with a good deed. Islam is simple, do not complicate it with your feelings.

:bism:
[MENTION=282]*charisma*[/MENTION]
It is not that easy for OP, because this is mess/sihr like and semipsychiatric.

@OP
You have probably sihr with mess from a sahir man or jinn.

It is common to go to a psychiatrist in the west, especially with muslim background if possible, trained in islamic psychology too.
Please get to the doctor. He can, if well trained help inshaAllah.

I can recommend in addition duas from dua books Hisn al Muslim, Ad Dua Divine help Momin ka hathyaar in English, reading surah Yasin and Manzil after every salat, a lot of dua, {salawat ibrahimi, estegfar, shukrulillah, tasbeeh-like subhanallahi walhamdulillahi wa la ilaha illallahu wallahu akbar wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billahil aliyyil adheem, la ilaha illallahu wahdahu la sharika lahu lahulm mulku wa lahul hamdu wa huwa ala kulli shayin qadeer}-everything (isolated) x100 at least mornings and evenings. Better 300x and with time build up to 1000x or more.
The thoughts shall go in some days of the regimen inshaAllah.

Recommend thise to others (especially family, masjid, neighbors, fruends) and it will add to yours deeds and protections inshaAllah.

Drink 200 mL organic 100% pomegranate juice daily. Take nigella sativa oil, nuts, olive oil. Drink at least 2x300 mLmilk daily. Eat 7 ajwa dates every morning and evenings. Eat figs, olives, apricots, plums.

Give a lot of sadaqa. Nowdays there is a campain for sponsoring a whole family for Ramadat at Muslimhands, only 60£. The more the better of course.

Be regular at the gym.

visit hijama centres if in UK.

Go to masjid for namaz.

You take regularly ghusl and wuddu (also before sleep).
recite duas and surahs before sleep (kafirun, amanarasulu, last 3 quls (blowing, wiping), ayat kursi and duas).

You'll start inshaAllah to experience a lot of barakah, noor,help, security, blessings and many other benefits, inshaAllah.

Dear brother,

Allah loves to forgive and Allah is very happy when a person repents and gets back to Him.

Just don't give up. Every time you commit sin, repent as soon as possible and just keep doing it until it's all gone and you finally on straight path.

Don't ever lose hope, don't despair in Allah's mercy and don't let shaytan tell you that you're never going to make it or that you're a bad person or whatever... Just keep doing the best you can.

You also have my dua.

Proxyan_cnl said:

Asalamu alaikum, I did so many deeds of kufr, I joked about religion, I succumbed to you, every day I said shahada because of them, I promised that I would not do any more of this, I also began to skip prayer, and this is kufr, even worse, this even worse than murder, knowing this, I did it, every time I want to do tawba, but in my head there are instigations, and the picture is that I am doing this Auzubillah to an Idian idol, auzubillah, as if I testify that I worship them, I promise every day and still fall into kufr , I don’t know how to make a tawba in this position, a feeling of emptiness, as if Allah closed my heart for faith because of my hypocrisy, I am very afraid of dying a kafir, I used to have no shirk at all, and now iman is very weak. I'm afraid that Allah will send me to hell. What should I do, these thoughts do not lag behind, but I seem to do tauba without desire. Help

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Asalaamu Alaikum,

It seems that you maybe suffering from the insinuating whispers of shaythan as you're having very extreme thoughts and reactions in thinking that you've committed major shirk. The following thread contains many articles, advices, reminders and tips on how to overcome and tackle these types of extreme thoughts:

How to overcome Waswas (Shaythans whispers) in worship:

How to Overcome Waswasa/OCD in Worship

Please read through the above thread and if you need anything else then do not hesitate to ask us.