This is an excerpt from one of Farhat Hashmi’s speeches. Its translated more or less meaning. My notes are in brackets.
Similarly one should express love for the other. Most of the time we take things for granted. We are married so its assumed that we must be loving one another. If there is love in the heart what is there a need to express it verbally? Some people think its beneath their pride to express anything. Am I helpless that I have to say something? Don’t want to value the other individual. Remember to appreciate someone even a little increases the confidence in the other.
Allah has made nature of man such that he is dependent and needs support. He needs that confidant. The empathy that he gets from his wife opens many doors of success for him. Why is it then said? Behind every successful man is woman. If wife cooperates with her husband, he is able to accomplish many feats. You will observe that some people they are not able to focus properly in their jobs, business. This is due to them experiencing some form of (mental) disturbance in their house. There is constant worry and restlessness.
Once a woman came to the Prophet (saw) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I am a delegate [from a group of] women. Allah has prescribed Jihaad for men only; if they are victorious, their reward is great, and if they die as martyrs, they are alive with their Lord, receiving sustenance. [For women], which act of obedience is equal in reward to this?” The Messenger of Allah (saw) replied: “Obeying their husbands and (being aware of and) fulfilling their rights; and few of you do that.”[At-Tabaraani and ‘Abdul-Raaziq]
You can earn the same amount of reward that your husband earns in all of these external activities. The reward for a woman praying at home is no less than a man who is going outside to the mosque to pray.
When the Prophet (saw) was suffering from the fatal sickness, Safiyyah (rad) said, “O Messenger of Allah, by Allah, I wish I were the one suffering instead of you.” The other wives of the Prophet (saw) looked at each other (as if they mocked what she said). The Prophet (saw) saw them and said: “Wash your mouths.” They said, “From what?” He said: “From ridiculing her with your looks to each other. By Allah, she is truthful.” [Ibn Sa‘d]
That she is not saying this for show but this is state of her heart. So sometimes to verbally express what is in your heart, by either saying it or writing it this brings happiness in marriage.
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