The problem of being a loner as a Muslim

[anonymous]

I don't know if anyone can relate but I'm 40 years old and have always been the loner type. I don't know if this has anything to do with my upbringing or if it's just how Allah created me. For as long as I remember, I enjoyed being alone and away from people, including my own family, and that feeling of wanting to be alone increases as I've gotten older. People always ask me about marriage and why I'm not married or why I'm the way I am, and they get confused by it. In some cases, even offended as if it's an insult towards them that I like to be alone. Some people jokingly think I'm a serial killer or just flat our "weird"... Even the people who are self proclaimed introverts give me a confused look. Those same introverted people are either in a (haram) relationship or are married, so they're definitely not the same as me. When I'm at work, I do everything in my power to be alone. It's not that I hate people per se, it's just that I truly feel at peace when I'm alone. I function within society just fine too. It's not like I walk around in a hoodie with my head down when I'm out in public.

I've been living with my parents for many years now due to their age and health issues, and it's been a struggle for me internally. That may sound wrong, but keep in mind I never show signs of frustration towards them or even disrespect them. Whatever problems I have is always kept internally and I just try to be patient through those times of difficulty. When the topic of marriage comes up, it's hard to get them to understand where I'm coming from, especially as an Arab. They are very traditional and for someone to choose to be lonely in the way that I am is unheard of in their minds. Part of the problem is that marriage is half the deen. There is absolutely no desire at all for me to get married and I certainly don't want to get married for the sake of getting married. It's not an issue of money or anything like that, it's just a personality issue.

I suppose I can continue living the rest of my life like this, but in the back of my mind, I feel uneasy about it because I know Islam is a religion that emphasizes the importance of having a family and being part of society, neither of which I have an interest in doing. It truly is a struggle that's hard to get anyone to understand...

[Labayk]

Here you go Akhi.

Advice to one who does not want to get married - Islam Question & Answer (islamqa.info)

When you say that there is absolutely no desire for you to get married does that include physically?