Tarbiyyah

[Ihsaan]

Tarbiyyah Program
Deeni Tarbiyyah Program
Shaykh Ashraf ‘Ali Thãnwi rahmatullahi alayh narrated, ‘The first words to be taught to a child should be ‘Kaleemah Tawheed,’ Lãillaha Illallãh... thereafter teach them necessary Ãdabs (etiquettes).

Always keep the child clean, neat and tidy in simple Sharee’ clothes devoid of animated pictures (designer-wear logo’s) and do not overdress or pamper them.

Keep hair of boys short (and do not cut the hair of girls). Also, do not adorn girls with jewellery until they remain in hijãb.

Instruct them to make salãm (and reply to the salãms of others) whenever they meet any Muslim.

Explain to them the sin and vulgarity of lying.

Incline children towards Allah Ta’ãlã by constantly reminding them, for example, ‘Allah Ta’ãlã grants us rizq (food, clothing, home);’ ‘Allah Ta’ãlã Sees everything,’ ‘Allah Ta’ãlã Created the universe,’ etc.

Whenever the child misbehaves, tell him Allah Ta’ãlã is aware of everything and will get angry. Such constant reminders, especially by the mother will create a vivid awareness of Allah Ta’ãlã.

Thereafter teach them the short Sûrahs of the Glorious Qur’ãn and daily Sunnah du‘aa’s (audio Qira'aat, naz’ms without music, and Deeni lectures are also beneficial).

By the time a child reaches 7 years of age, teach him to perform Salãh and inculcate the habit of making du’aa for all worldly needs and the Ãkhirah. At 10 years, the Sharee‘ah emphasizes the adoption of sternness in making children perform Salãh (for boys with Jama‘at). Nowadays most parents are apathetic with their children’s Deeni obligations...yet in fulfilling worldly needs they go to extremes. Islãm is crying and asks such parents,’

‘Shame! Have you forgotten me completely...why, do you expect the non-Muslims to save your child?’

When the child reaches the age of ‘learning,’ try and enrol him in a Madrasah where the Scholars are qualified, pious and caring. Girls too should be taught at a Madrasah where full cognition is taken of Sharee’ hijãb.

As soon as the child has learnt the rules of correct Arabic recitation and short Surah’s...proceed with learning the Glorious Qur’ãn from an expert. Should the child show good intelligence and memory it is best to commence Hifz (memorization) of Qur’ãn, otherwise complete by nãzirah (visual recitation).

After completion of either Hifz or nãzirah, arrange for the systematic Tãleem of Deen. Also ensure the child learns beneficial worldly education (in a Tayyib environment, this means nowadays, English, Math's, Sciences, IT, Geography - translator). For girls ensure Sharee’ Hijãb from an early age as well as Home Economics.

If Allah Ta’ãlã has granted the means and opportunity, let the child study the Alim-Faadhil course (at an authentic Darul Uloom) as there is need for such persons nowadays. Otherwise, guide him towards some tayyib profession, trade or skill, whereby he is able to support himself and his wife and children in life.

Endeavour to take along mature children with you into the company of Ulamã and Mashã-ikh (Saints). Through their blessings and association, Deen and Imãn develop.

Regarding Deeni education, do not impose unbearable burden upon the child. Gradually increase studies from say, one hour to two, three and so on. Always take into account the child’s health and capacity: as overwork dulls intelligence and memory as well as dampening enthusiasm. At the same time do not allow the child to take ‘time-off’ from Deeni studies on mere and trivial pretext's, e.g., weddings, shopping, sports, day-trips, etc.

Remember to make your child learn the main lesson early in the morning when his mind is fresh: leaving secondary lessons until later when the body is tired.

From beginning, inculcate into the child esteem for fellow Muslims and aversion for the styles and fashion of other nations and culture. Advise him never to hold the poor in contempt.

Daily arrange a time at home, wherein you read out aloud some authentic Deeni Kitaab. Try to provide a mixture of masã‘eel (rules), fadhã‘eel (virtues) and episodes. Do not fear or worry if nobody listens, you continue your daily recital...even if it be one or two pages only. Consider it as incumbent as recitation of the Glorious Qur’ãn and as necessary as worldly duties.

Couple all this with constant supervision of your child’s actions and behaviour. For example, should he make gheebat (backbite) of anyone, correct him, ‘this is wrong,’ and outline the harms and evil of this sin. Similarly, should he display arrogance, point out the vulgarity of takkabur. Should he miss Salãh with jamã‘at, admonish him. Whenever he lies or steals, correct and reprimand him...always with hikmat, never with zulm. Accordingly, it appears in Hadeeth that Allah Ta’ãlã curses a person who steals even one egg and orders punishment for this person. Why such sternness on an apparently trivial act? Because these small steps open the door for future sins and destruction...’

There was once a thief, who eventually got caught, imprisoned and was about to be hanged. He requested a final meeting with his mother...who appeared at the prison in a distressed state. Sitting behind bars in the visiting room, he asked his mother to come close as he wished to whisper something. As she placed her ear between the bars...her son (the thief) bit it so ferociously as to cause severe bleeding. The mother yelled out and asked, ‘Why did you do that for?’Her son replied,

‘Mother! From when I was young and began lying, deceiving and stealing...you never reprimanded or punished me. Had you done so, you would not be witnessing this day when your son is about to be hanged. You by your carelessness and indifference have shown that you are my enemy manifest!’