format_quote Originally Posted by
blackjubba
I could be wrong, but where I live, they talk about the brothers no because they marry more than one wife, but because the cannot afford it and do not give the sisters all of their rights and that is wrong. You must be able to take care of them and spend time with them equally. That is the main problem that I see going on.
You have raised two points:
One, some people marry two or more wives even if they are unable to maintain them all. It seems you are inclined to accuse for this the plural marriage law ordained by Allah for the benefit of His slaves. But a man cannot marry a woman at his sweet will; it requires mutual consent. If a man and one or more women tie themselves in marriage, why should it be others' headache? Besides, Allah has ordained in the Quran for those men who are unable to maintain a wife to exercise patience until He gives them the ability to maintain a family. Again the definition of maintenance is a matter which is different to different people. However, if a man marries a woman concealing his inability to maintain her and thereby afflicts her, it will be, in my opinion, a personal fault of that vey person like the fault of those engaged in adultery, bribery, dacoity, usury, theft, lying and so on.
Two, as regards spending time equally between the wives, I believe it is an invention of some misconceived scholars; for it is practically impossible for a man to share time equally. Besides, Allah wants ease for His slaves and He says:"It is not possible for you to treat equally between your wives even if you wish to do so; therefore, in order to comply with Divine Law, do not lean towards one wife to the extent that you leave the other hanging in air. If you work out a friendly understanding and fear Allah, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful."[4:129]
This signifies that there may be discrimination between the wives; but the degree of discrimination should not be so great as to do everything for one and neglect another altogether, that is, one should love and maintain his all wives and spent time with them, as is ordinarily desired for a husband, though at varying degrees.