Andy Borowitz -- Bush Demands That Iran Halt Production of Long Letters

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:giggling: This is too funny :giggling:


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by Andy Borowitz

Days after receiving an 18-page letter from Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President George W. Bush called the lengthy missive “an act of war” and demanded that Iran halt its production of long letters at once.

At the White House, aides said that writing a letter of such length to President Bush, who is known for his extreme distaste for reading, was the most provocative act Mr. Ahmadinejad could have possibly committed.

“Everyone knows that the last book the president read was ‘My Pet Goat,’” one aide said. “Expecting him to read an 18-page letter is really asking for it, and that Iranian dude must have known that.”

According to those close to Mr. Bush, the president was infuriated upon receipt of the 18-page letter and asked aides if it was some kind of joke.

The president then demanded that the letter be boiled down to a one- or two-page format, or possibly adapted to a DVD version, just as he had ordered for news reports on Hurricane Katrina.

In Tehran, President Ahmadinejad said he was “taken aback” by Mr. Bush’s refusal to read an 18-page letter, but said that all his future communications to the U.S. president would be in short, easy-to-read instant-messaging format.

In his first IM to President Bush, released to the press today, President Ahmadinejad writes, “Am building nukes. R U angry? LOL.”

Elsewhere, Air Force Gen. Michael V. Hayden vowed today that as director of the CIA he would push the agency to find new and better sources of false intelligence.

link
 
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

;D

LOL

This is too good to leave unforwarded to every 1 of my contacts!
 
Salaam

This is not funny, Why gain sin over a disbeliver mocking people isn't islamic this thread should be closed.
 
yep!

I laugh at jokes made by my cousin, but he isn't always in the room when I'm laughing at him.
 
Iqram said:
yep!

I laugh at jokes made by my cousin, but he isn't always in the room when I'm laughing at him.
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Salaam

Subhanallah, by the way the article is clearly 'Satire' if you wanna gain sin then by all means laugh but you have been warned.
 
Brother, I'm sure it isn't haram to laugh at funny things, it's not like any one of us made this joke in the first place.
 
Iqram said:
Brother, I'm sure it isn't haram to laugh at funny things, it's not like any one of us made this joke in the first place.
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Salaam

It's haraam to laugh at other people behind their backs or infornt of them if they wouldn't be happy about it, it doesn't matter if you made the joke or not you'll still be gaining sin if you participate and laugh.
 
Yes, but politicians are hardly happy about anything you say about them. Which is why I dislike them with a passion. :)
 
islam-truth said:
Salaam

It's haraam to laugh at other people behind their backs or infornt of them if they wouldn't be happy about it, it doesn't matter if you made the joke or not you'll still be gaining sin if you participate and laugh.
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And the proof for this is?

(show me proof and I'll shut up)
 
:sl:

Allah says in the Qur'an:

"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is The One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful" (Qur'an 49: 12)

Abu Hurayrah (May Allah be pleased with him) narrated that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said:

"Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He then said, “It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike.” Someone asked him, “But what if what I say is true?” The Messenger of Allah said, “If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him."

Ibn 'Abbas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) once passed by two graves and said:

"Verily, they (occupants of graves) are both being tormented and they are not being tormented for something major." In the report from Al-Bukhari:
"Rather, it is indeed something major. As for the first one, he used to go around spreading gossip (nameemah) and as for the other, and then he used not to protect himself from his own urine." [2]
The scholars say the meaning of "and they are not being tormented for something major" is "something major" according to their opinion or "something major" for them to have abandoned doing.

Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) also said:

"Who protects his tongue from unlawful utterances and his private parts from illegal sexual intercourse; I shall guarantee him entrance into Paradise."

Also Abu Mousa Al-Ash’aree narrated that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said:

"I asked the Messenger of Allah: Who is the best Muslim? The Messenger of Allah replied, "He is the one from whom Muslims are safe from the evil of his tongue and hands."

And Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudree narrated that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said:

"When man wakes up in the morning each day, all parts of the body warn the tongue saying, ‘Fear Allah as regards us for we are at your mercy; if you are upright, we will be upright and if you are crooked, we become crooked."
 
Iqram said:
But, urm...gEORGE bUSH ISN'T OUR BROTHER...:?
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Salaam

It doesn't it applies to everyone do you think the prophet would approve, remember bush is still a part of this ummah even if he's a kafir, we should make dua for him to be guided, may allah guide him to the straight path.
 
Does that mean if I say 'Adolf Hitler was a little piece of scum who deserved his coward's death and I hope he's punished in his grave and is burned in hell', I'm backbiting?
 
islam-truth said:
Salaam

Yes.
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But he's dead. And was evil. And was not Muslim. There's no hope for redemption.

I mean, with Bush there is, because he's alive and can convert (though I sincerely doubt he would).
 
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