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Snowflake
05-18-2006, 10:39 AM
:sl:

I need your advice. Please be honest and tell me what I should do. I feel embarrassed asking as I'm worried I might be being a bit greedy. But I can't help feeling used.

What happened is I told my friend that I'm staring a business making islamic clothing from home. My friend gave me some clothes to sew for her daughter and niece. I made four sets but didn't charge her because it was the first time and she is my friend.


The week after she gave me 50 sari blouses to alter. When I saw 50 blouses I nearly fainted and jokingly said I am going to charge her £5 per blouse. I havent done them yet. Then last week she gave me material to sew 3 jilbaabs for her daughter and niece. When she came to collect them, I expected her to ask how much money she owed me. But she took the clothes and left. I felt too embarrassed to say anything.

I now realise that she expects me to do everything for free. Maybe because I didnt charge her the first time. I feel sad about the whole thing. I feel ashamed too as I think I may be being greedy. But I started this to make money in the first place.

Now I don't know what to do or how to rectify the situation. Am I being greedy or is it justified of me to expect to be paid. Please advise me. I feel so incompetant. :(

:w:
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Ghazi
05-18-2006, 10:53 AM
:sl:

Just tell her straight if she's a friend she'll understand.
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Snowflake
05-18-2006, 11:07 AM
But would it make me look like I'm being greedy? Am I?
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------
05-18-2006, 11:10 AM
Nope. You just asking for what is yours..I think..
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SirZubair
05-18-2006, 11:12 AM
No,you're not being greedy.

your friend should have the sense to pay you without you having to ask.

Especially since theres 50 of 'em :rollseyes
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MinAhlilHadeeth
05-18-2006, 11:14 AM
It seems that your friend is asking for too much sis. I mean, a couple of blouses here and there for free is ok since she's your friend... but 50? Come on now. I wouldn't even ask my sister to do that! Anyway, you can find my answer in the other thread you put up in the sis section.
Hope i helped a little bit.
:w:
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DaNgErOuS MiNdS
05-18-2006, 11:14 AM
Aslaam'alaikum

Your friend should know better because that is just being ungreatful on her behalf. If you don't want to confront her about it, just dont do them for her and when she asks why the clothes aren't done just tell her that you are busy with your business and people are 'paying' for their clothes to be sewen so you have to give them priority...

it's abit funny aswell.
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x Maz x
05-18-2006, 11:16 AM
Aww MashAllah...you so sweet bl3$$...Ukhty you aint greedy Nah nah nah, just asking for whts right InshAllah, if she a true mate InshAllah she will understand..Peace! and good luck, do whats right sister! x
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Snowflake
05-18-2006, 11:26 AM
Oh thank you, thank you for your replies. I was beginning to lose hope lol. May Allah reward you all. Ameen.

I feel better and not so greedy now but how should I say it? Some words would be helpful plzzz :?


format_quote Originally Posted by DaNgErOuS MiNdS
it's abit funny aswell.
bro, I can't even look at the 50 blouses. I've shoved them in the closet :heated:
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lolwatever
05-18-2006, 11:47 AM
hehe yeh no harm in saying that you charge a fee, that's purely halal business.

Hehe its a bit of a lesson for the future though, personally (and even islamically) you should neverrrr start anything unless you've got a contract written up... coz even if she's ur best friend, misunderstandings and misinterpretations can occur and unease begings to occur and shaytan gets involved.

so in future set things straight from the beginning, write it on paper, do it the Islamic way, trust mee ti saves sooo much hassles and embaresments later on, and it keeps you both really good freinds.

for now, just say you're charging a fee, purely halal, its not being greedy... it's just being a good business person ;)
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MetSudaisTwice
05-18-2006, 11:52 AM
salam
sis, you are using your time to help your friend, surely your frined will understand that such efforts will need her to pay you, otherwise she will continue to take advantage of you
and you know what people say, time is money:shade:
wasalam
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DaNgErOuS MiNdS
05-18-2006, 11:57 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis




bro, I can't even look at the 50 blouses. I've shoved them in the closet :heated:
i know :giggling: thats just taking the mick, maybe she'll bring a whole truck-load after the blouses are done.

But this situation is nothing new it happens alot, i've seen it manny times and usually is solved once guidlines are set out.
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Hijaabi22
05-18-2006, 12:21 PM
^^LOL

sis u need to get her 2 pay otherwise she gna take advantage of u big tym! Shes already started to by the sounds of it

I mean my AUNTY sews my clothes and i INSIST on payin her, thats her way of earnin a LIVIN like hello>??? Jus charge her like half the price or sumat so long as u gettin da dosh
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Z
05-18-2006, 12:23 PM
Salaam.

Sew one bad patch. Then say it'll cost to fix it. That'll teach her.
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Hijaabi22
05-18-2006, 12:24 PM
LOL^^^

Nah ssi jus be straight wid her
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Protected_Diamond
05-18-2006, 12:29 PM
:sl:

Yikes!!!!!!!!!! That's awful i would feel well guilty if i did that.

Ukhti just tell her straight, that you started this business to make money and insha' allah she'll understand. Don't feel embarassed because you haven't done anything wrong.

:w:
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Snowflake
05-18-2006, 06:13 PM
Tnx for ur help guys. Some funny comments too :giggling:

I went out and bought a reciept book lol. Cuz actions speak louder than words innit!

I'm also just gonna say sumthing like "Erm.. that one is £6 pounds sweetheart, and that one blah blah blah."

A BIG tnx to all of you for helping :statisfie
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DaNgErOuS MiNdS
05-18-2006, 07:33 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis
Tnx for ur help guys. Some funny comments too :giggling:

I went out and bought a reciept book lol. Cuz actions speak louder than words innit!
salaam
YOur supposed to be making the money baaaji ji lol. Insha'Allah you have success with your business venture ;D
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Mawaddah
05-18-2006, 10:35 PM
Oh My.

50 blouses? ;D

I'll say your friend was being inconsiderate, but as we're not supposed to talk bad about our fellow brothers and sisters, lets just say that it never crossed her mind that she had to pay for it (although it seems weird hehehe ;D )
I know I would be really pissed off though!!

But I know what you mean sis.....when I was in yemen, I was one of the only sisters there who could bake real cakes you know ;D and once in a while I would bake for my friends and bake for their weddings and all that.
But then, after a while......they started piling up all these requests on me, and I just felt it wasn't fair, I mean.....they wouldn't even ask if it was ok with me or anything , it wsa just like they would drop in and 'place an order' I was like " Hello!!! I'm not working in a bakery!! " ;D
But I felt really bad to tell them........but alhamdulillah with the help of my mom I got up the courage

But sis you're not being greedy.....Not at all :) this is a b usiness anyway, and alhamdulillah a halal means of earning money.
Maybe it might seem hard to come out with her because you are feeling this way......but if she's really your friend she will understand insha'allah
Most probably she will even feel embarrassed herself for not thinking about asking you the costs of the sewing earlier!!

Just come out plain and clear with her sis....It's difficult I know, but then, If you keep it to yourself, eventually your feelings towards her may turn hard because you may start thinkin that she's taking advantage of you and all that :(

So best do it quickly and avoid any fitnah Insha'allah

All the best :)
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Snowflake
05-18-2006, 11:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by DaNgErOuS MiNdS
salaam
YOur supposed to be making the money baaaji ji lol. Insha'Allah you have success with your business venture ;D
Ameen ameen ameen!!! I will inshaAllah bro. And your gonna help me innit by buying my jubbas online? ;D I got some stripey material for brother's jubbas and it reminds me of prophet Moses. I'll put some pics up when it's made then you can tell me if it's good or not.

format_quote Originally Posted by AsilahRana
Just come out plain and clear with her sis....It's difficult I know, but then, If you keep it to yourself, eventually your feelings towards her may turn hard because you may start thinkin that she's taking advantage of you and all that :(

So best do it quickly and avoid any fitnah Insha'allah

All the best :)
You're sooo right sis it happens. I'm just glad I asked for advice when I did. From now on business is strictly business :phew
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Eric H
05-19-2006, 12:28 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Muslimah_Sis;

That was some good advice from AsilahRana, you do have to take care not to harden your heart in business even though you may get 'stitched' up by customers.

It may be in your nature to be a kind and forgiving person, and it may not be in your nature to be a business woman and make money. It is difficult asking for money especially from a friend, and some people seem to specialise in making friends simply so they can take advantage of them.

I may be really cynical based on some past experiences in life but I can almost guarantee that if she has given you fifty blouses to alter she may be acting as a middle man. She will be getting the work done for free so that she can charge her nieces and friends for all your efforts.

Your past experience with baby sitting is a lesson in life that people aren’t always what they seem, bad debt in business is the cause of many failures and bankruptcies.

You could truthfully say to her that fifty blouses is too many for you to do all at once as you are just starting up; you could do maybe two or three blouses by Monday and say a price in advance. Also tell her in advance that you cannot do any more until she pays you for the ones you have done; if she doesn’t pay you then you have only done a couple. If she pays you do another five and ask her for the money, then do them a few at a time and get the money before you start each batch.

You have nothing to loose, if she is trying to gain your friendship so she can have cheap or free labour then you may not need that kind of friend, if she is a real friend she will understand and pay you a fair price for your time.

If you find it hard to ask for money put a poster up on your door or somewhere prominent with a list of charges for all your services, you could point out the poster to her and ask her if she thinks your prices are fair.

If you started of being a bit uneasy about asking for money the chances are that if you put a price on a job you may also be tempted to give a discounted price and you will end up working for less than the average hourly rate.

You need to be brutally honest with yourself in business often we end up kidding ourselves and think that we are doing better than we really are. Do a job in front of the clock and work out an hourly rate, time all the jobs you do; and learn how to price jobs according to the clock and add any material costs on top.

In business you are kind of responsible for the customers property if they are lost or damaged in your care. Even if you are dealing with a friend look at each blouse in front of her and note any peculiarities about any blouses and always give her a duplicate receipt for them and you keep a copy too.

The reason being she could come back in a months time and say she left sixty blouses with you, and you could end up doing all the work for free to compensate for the ten lost blouses she says you have lost.

In business you can make any rules you like, but you are accountable because they will work for you or against you. In business you always learn your lessons the hard way and they cost you each time.

Also from a business point of view if she has fifty jobs now she may well be able to give you more work, and you have to take this into consideration, but work is only work if you are paid.

I hope you are well, and may God bless you and help you find peace,

Eric
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DaNgErOuS MiNdS
05-19-2006, 03:21 PM
^^Ericc, I can tell you been in business for some time.

MS - I've never worn a jubba, only the Pakistani shalwar kameez or thumbi kurthaa lol
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