English is really crazy

salam-enjoy urself

English is really crazy
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.:rollseyes

yeah have you heard the joke about this lecturer talking about dif. languages.
at the end they said that in conclusion however in no language do two negatives make a positive..
from the back of the hall came a reply ''yeah right''
LOL!

That was a very nice read jazzakAllah Khair, and sis marge1 i think I understood yours aswell lol

HAHAHAHAHA
I GOTTTAAA SHOW THIS TO MY ENGLISH TEAHCERR
lollllll
its sooo cool hehe

hehe great read jameela

Salaam.

Umm actually, you'll find the stuff you've posted is outright stupid. You ought to try understand the origins of the words first, then maybe you'll see sense.

But yeah, no body expects it.

hahah very nice :;D

sallaam

Very nice post:
_ Object = Humour, just for those who didn't get it.
Anyway, did you take it from Excerpts from "Crazy English" by Richard Lederer (Pocket Books 1989)?

Cause I've got some extracts of that book on my pc.
I had this file since 1991 or 1992.
****
Begin Quote:
****
In the crazy English language, the blackbird hen is brown,
blackboards can be blue or green, and blackberries are green and then
red before they are ripe. Even if blackberries were really black and
blueberries really blue, what are strawberries, cranberries, elderberries,
huckleberries, raspberries, boysenberries, and gooseberries supposed to
look like?
****
End of quote
****
Sallaams and take care.

marge1 said:

yeah have you heard the joke about this lecturer talking about dif. languages.
at the end they said that in conclusion however in no language do two negatives make a positive..
from the back of the hall came a reply ''yeah right''
LOL!

Click to expand...

yeah..i've read this before..really funny..

salam.
ta for that
w.salam

marge1 said:

yeah have you heard the joke about this lecturer talking about dif. languages.
at the end they said that in conclusion however in no language do two negatives make a positive..
from the back of the hall came a reply ''yeah right''
LOL!

Click to expand...

LOL!! thats funny- but isnt that the opposite? thats +'s making a negative

anyway i would have said some ppl call maths a language, and - x - = + :rollseyes

The strangest thing about the English language, is we understand it. LOL

Looking at it, English is really a mixture of many languages and sometimes to make it workable, grammar rules are applied that make no sense in the language of the original words. Our American English is very strongly flavored with words from the Native Americans however usually with a French or Spanish pronunciation attached to them.

It is good that we can all find humor in ourselves.

english...

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is
no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't
invented in England nor French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which
aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted.
But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand
can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea
pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't
fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of
booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose,
2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but
not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a
vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian
eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should
be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people:

Recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in
which you fill in a form by filling it out and in
which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and
it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of
course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the
stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights
are out, they are invisible.

PS: Why doesn't "buick" rhyme with "quick"?

Re: english...

LOL... nice post

crazy english

really interesting !


There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

Re: crazy english



;D

Me sitting right here with soo many people doing there own work at a huge building then read this post.. didn't bother reading it all as it was abit tounge twisting at first along with a bad migrane i have so i went back to read it again and guess what??!!, this certainly did make me crack up.. Subhan'Allaah... that was cheesy but very neat.

I needed this, but i also wouldn't mind having a cuppa and laid back on chair reading this post over and over again, there comes the big boss.. shoot better get back... :X

Ma'assalama

Re: crazy english

:lol: that was realllly good bro... was laffin and grinning thruout the whole thing! Iv'e never really thought bout most of the things u just mentioned...when i read it, i was like... 'ohhhh yehhh.. duh!'
English is a wierd lingo aint it?!
Anyway a very interesting post brother :coolious: Jazakhallah for sharin

w'salam

Re: crazy english

Lol!

Re: crazy english

haha read it b4 :smile:

but intrestin 2 read agen

yup! english is just plain crazy!

fnx 4 da laff

Re: crazy english

:coolious: good.

Re: crazy english

see thats why many of us decide to use slang so we can help the english language

we only wish to improve it and we only wish for the best :embarrass