Coping with Depression, stress and anger

[Kittygyal]

salamualikum.
Ukthi first think to your self do you wana go 'out' with a Gahr-Mehram in islam do we tolerate that is it allowed to go out with having like Bf/Gf:? i may sound harsh here ukthi but am doing this for your good, you need to ask your self these questions && think is this fella going to be with you when you be questioned by your lord? is he going to stand up for you when you get hurt? will he be there for you?, if you really like him arrange marriage... am very concerned does your parents know your in contact with the opposite gender? what are they gonna say if they do? do you know the third person with you at that moment of time when your in contact with that fella is 'SATAN'.

Are we suppose to sit beside 'SATAN'? NO we are suppose to fight against him so best thing to do is ingnore this fella && forget him i know it's not easy but do it for your lord Ukthi Strive for Taqwah, in this Duniya it's a test for us, this life is eternal (Life after death) Akhirah..okay you may get away with this now but what are you gonna do in the other future 'Akhirah' :cry:

It's good that you have spilited away from him, but you need to get over him now Ukthi all these 'fake' love is worthless!

Ukthi this is 'satan' whom is getting in your way i suggest you to do Ablution purify your self with the right Niyah (Intention) && get all these waste of dudes out of ya mind && just ask for fogivness from Allah subahwnatallah thats the least you can do now Ukthi.
Ma'assalama

[Tanya Khan]

An islamic point of view I can not give you but I can give advice from a woman's point of view. I know the pain of a broken heart and I can tell you that the only thing that will make it better is time. Give yourself time to heal. Time to grieve. But don't let it take over your life. It will get better. Everyday you will find yourself missing him a little less and then one day you will wake up and wonder why you ever missed him in your first place. If he didn't have the same feeling in return then he never deserved your feeling in the first place. Guard your heart until you find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Keep yourself distracted until then. Find a hobby or spend time with your friends and family. I hope this helps and I hope you feel better soon.

Thank you sis, I appreciate everyone taking time out to reply, thank u very much. I would try and take my mind off him but there's nothing else to distract me. I don't know why i'm so hooked on him. Some people have good jobs, money, good family and good frriends to get them thru, but me.... I have absolutely nothing.

I got married at 21 in Pakistan and it lasted no more than 6 months, i hated him and felt very pressurised into it. So my dad thru me out and said he dont want to know me because the marriage didn't work, he's very backwards my dad and he blames the girls never the men.

So im living alone, i will lose my job soon because its only temp, i dont really have much chance of getting another 1 as im not very educated, i have no money, i will be homeless in about 1 month because the friend im living with is getting a 1 bedroom place and she told me to find somewhere else as there wont be no space. Now thats another stress on my head, i feel so lonely and hopeless, Im being tortured left right and centre, there's is no hope for me, i'm even crying while typing this i cant control myself.

I feel as though i will never move on from him, i loved him like iv never loved before. I pray as much as i can but it seems pointless, people who dont pray have a much happier life than me, trust me iv seen it and i know people who only pray once a year in ramazan, and they are so happy. It's not fair, I feel like im being punished. I want to die sometimes :cry:

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


Sister, all this is a test from Allaah.. keep praying to Allaah, He is hearing your prayers.. if you give up on Allaah, who else can you turn to for help? You will find a gradual change insha'Allaah as time progresses, for the time being - try checking these links in regard to your situation:


http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-co...-dont-sad.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/basics-i...lace-ease.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/islamic-...-andalusi.html


http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-co...s-archive.html



We will keep you in our prayers.

[Tanya Khan]

:salamext:


Sister, all this is a test from Allaah.. keep praying to Allaah, He is hearing your prayers.. if you give up on Allaah, who else can you turn to for help? You will find a gradual change insha'Allaah as time progresses, for the time being - try checking these links in regard to your situation:


http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-co...-dont-sad.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/basics-i...lace-ease.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/islamic-...-andalusi.html


http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-co...s-archive.html



We will keep you in our prayers.

Thank you for all your help I do appreciate it. I hope things get better, InshahAllah :cry:

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[SUMMAYAH]

I feel as though i will never move on from him, i loved him like iv never loved before. I pray as much as i can but it seems pointless, people who dont pray have a much happier life than me, trust me iv seen it and i know people who only pray once a year in ramazan, and they are so happy. It's not fair, I feel like im being punished. I want to die sometimes :cry:

No one has ever been tested as much as our beloved Prophet (s.a.w) has, and He is the most dearest to Allah of all.

Allah tests those that he loves. Sis don't lose hope. Inshallah one day you will be compensated.

[tomtomsmom]

You have to find something to distract you and you just said the first thing you can use. You said you can't find a job because you don't have a good education. Focus your energy into that. Go back to school and work your butt off to make something of yourself. Go to your local mosque and see it they can help you get back in school and about your housing situation. You control your life. It will not get better unless you try to make it that way. May Allah give you the strength to move on and be better.

[tomtomsmom]

Tanya Khan I am in the chat room if you want to talk.
I invite any other SISTERS there to help her in this time of need.
Please out of respect no brothers. Sorry.

[MinaJ]

Why are Muslims finding all types of reasons not to be together? Aren't we divided too much as it is? Forgive my ignorance, but you're both Muslims, and the differences you both have are traditional and cultural. They are not differences of the scripture (the Qur'an).

[FBI]

Why are Muslims finding all types of reasons not to be together? Aren't we divided too much as it is? Forgive my ignorance, but you're both Muslims, and the differences you both have are traditional and cultural. They are not differences of the scripture (the Qur'an).

:sl:

Sectarian debates are aginst forum rules, do your own research and you'll see the diffrence.

[Abdul Fattah]

Sister what I'm going to say might come across as severe and judgementle, but know that judging you is not my intention. And if I'm severe in speech it's because I think it's best for you. What you're going trough is exactly the reason why one shouldn't go out with non-mehram. It leads to these feelings and makes following the straight path harder. It is time to leave the past for what it is and think of the future. The feelings you have are to be avoided, just like the feeling you have from hearing forbidden songs on the radio, we like those songs that much because we're addicted to the way they make us feel, but we should stay aware that all these things come from Shaytan. MashaAllah for splitting up, that was a good choice. And it must have been hard I haven't always been a muslim, so I know what it is you're going trough. But trust me sister your were heading in the wrong direction but you did the right thing. Now Shaytan is bombarding you with thoughts to make you go back because he's frustrated with the good progress you made, don't let'm get to you. Whenever you feel he is tempting you read qur'an or do zikhr or something that will get you reward, that way he is more likely to leave you alone. Emotions are our weakest point, and he know just the right things to say to make us regret and desire. May Allah subhana wa ta'ala help you and make it easy for you and place reward in teh hardships you endure.

[Tanya Khan]

Why are Muslims finding all types of reasons not to be together? Aren't we divided too much as it is? Forgive my ignorance, but you're both Muslims, and the differences you both have are traditional and cultural. They are not differences of the scripture (the Qur'an).

Ahmedis are NOT Muslims. I would do anything to marry him, but Sunni's are totally against Ahmedis, he definitely won't convert even if i tried turning him, and anyway, it's hard to get men to convert. men have too much pride.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

hey :salamext:

sis i reckon you need to occupy yourself with otherstuff, like just go to the park, listen to some nice nasheed you know, play around with some lil kids they always seem to be able to help those lil buggers.

Main thing, Understand that Allaahs got someone planned for you inshaAllaah, and that if you give up something for the sake of ALlaah swt you will get something better in return. Imagine a pious handsome brother for life! got the picture in your head? good! now pray for it!!! :D

[Snowflake]

I got married at 21 in Pakistan and it lasted no more than 6 months, i hated him and felt very pressurised into it. So my dad thru me out and said he dont want to know me because the marriage didn't work, he's very backwards my dad and he blames the girls never the men.

So im living alone, i will lose my job soon because its only temp, i dont really have much chance of getting another 1 as im not very educated, i have no money, i will be homeless in about 1 month because the friend im living with is getting a 1 bedroom place and she told me to find somewhere else as there wont be no space. Now thats another stress on my head, i feel so lonely and hopeless, Im being tortured left right and centre, there's is no hope for me, i'm even crying while typing this i cant control myself.

I feel as though i will never move on from him, i loved him like iv never loved before. I pray as much as i can but it seems pointless, people who dont pray have a much happier life than me, trust me iv seen it and i know people who only pray once a year in ramazan, and they are so happy. It's not fair, I feel like im being punished. I want to die sometimes :cry:

:sl:

dear sis,

Your circumstances are adding to your misery. You shared happy times and as there's no happiness in your life at present, you are finding it in your memories of him.

Be postive sis. Start looking for another job straight away. There are jobs that offer training even for those with little education. You can even go back to college part-full time and train as a nursery-nurse, teacher, beautician or something else that interests you.

Nothing is impossible sis. Take control of your life and circumstances. Once you immerse yourself in practical affairs, your mind will be occupied in the here-and-now rather than what was.


On a more emotional note, don't regret your decision in leaving this guy. Be proud of yourself for making this sacrifice for the sake of Allah. You wouldn't give a person a gift with a sour face then why give sacrifices of your nafs for Allah and cry afterwards. : )


You're a good girl for having done the right thing. Be happy with yourself, not sad. Not all people put their deen before their desires. But you have. I'm very proud of you.


We will all rot one day hun. The humans we adore and love so much will turn to dust. Skeletons lying in their graves. Our desires and dreams will end with our death. The only certainty is that on the day of resurrection we will be sweating with fear thinking about our conduct in this life. So don't be sad for what you've lost sis. Find peace in the rememberance of Allah. Seek His pleasure through how he has commanded us to. This life is a blip, a transitory stage to the next. Aim to achieve the highest status in jannah, because only that life will be ever-lasting. This life is here today, gone tommorow. Then why worry what we've lost. It was going to end one day anyway. Practice your deen for the pleasure of your creator and in turn He will find ways to please you with His Mercy and Blessings. You're true love is your Creator sis. And unlike humans he never lets down those who love Him.

May Allah guide you and showere His Mercy and Blessings on you. Ameen.

:w:

[Beblessed]

wha are ahmedis??? u said they are not muslim so what r they do they have another religion or something? Sorry but I never ever heard about ahmedis before

[tomtomsmom]

wha are ahmedis??? u said they are not muslim so what r they do they have another religion or something? Sorry but I never ever heard about ahmedis before

May I suggest that you go to www.google.com and look it up like I did. There is alot of info on it.:D

[FBI]

:sl:

This just goes to show way free-mixing is haraam.

[- Qatada -]

wha are ahmedis??? u said they are not muslim so what r they do they have another religion or something? Sorry but I never ever heard about ahmedis before

:salamext:


I think they believe another Prophet came after the Messenger of Allaah, Muhammad (peace be upon him.) Even though in the Qur'an, Allaah Almighty says:

Muhammad is not the father of any of your men, but (he is) the Messenger of Allah, and the Seal of the Prophets: and Allah has full knowledge of all things.

Qur'an Ahzaab [33:40]

more info:
http://www.islamicboard.com/sects-di...-movement.html

[Skillganon]

Ahmedis are NOT Muslims. I would do anything to marry him, but Sunni's are totally against Ahmedis, he definitely won't convert even if i tried turning him, and anyway, it's hard to get men to convert. men have too much pride.

Sis, I don't think any much advise we can give can replace the way you feel. This is something you have to come to term with and recover from and that takes time. Yo are right when you said Ahmedi/Qadiani are not muslims (i.e. whoever believes in their creed & insist being a Qadiani).

wha are ahmedis??? u said they are not muslim so what r they do they have another religion or something? Sorry but I never ever heard about ahmedis before

More info on Ahmedi/Qadiani:

1. What is the Qadiani (Ahmadiyyah) sect? Is it permissible for a Muslim to marry one of them?

2. Qadianiyyah in the light of Islam

3. Janaazah (funeral) prayer behind a Qadiani (Ahmadi)

4. Muslim man marrying a Qadiani (Ahmadi) woman who is of good character

5. Qadyaniyyah in Focus

6. Al-Ahmadiyyah: Origin and Beliefs

This should put anyone beyond pale of doubt that Ahmedi/Qadiani are not considered as muslims but rather Kaafirs who desbelieved aslong as they remain in that state.

[snakelegs]

He never felt the same as i did, i know he liked me alot at the start but i guess his feelings faded.

this is the key - there is nothing you can do but accept this, as painful as it is. rejection hurts, but you truly have no choice but to move on with your life. it is hard to let go and it takes time and right now you are mourning your loss (tho by what you've written above, what you had wasn't real anyway - on his part).
right now it sounds like you have much more urgent matters in your life - finding a job, a place to live (i imagine it is extremely difficult for an uneducated single woman to support herself in pakistan).
you cannot believe it now, but in time you will heal and some day you will meet someone who values you as much as you value him.
i wish you the best - you are in a rough situation.

[Daffodil]

Remember sis that in everything there is a lesson to be learnt, be thankful that Allah swt saved you from him.

He didnt even like you in the same way that you did, you cant love some one when they dont love you. Its fake, it was jsut an illusion. When you get married you realise what love is. Its a two way street not just a one sided thing.

Avoid going to the places where you and him went, and remember, those places can only get to u if u let them. Shrug it off and just say to ur self oh well thats life, get over it. Make new memories in those places.

Music is haram anyways so dnt listen to the radio.

Its easy to say all this because Im not the one in ur situation but I have been before and time is the best healer and so is doing salah, with each salah u will find your self closer to Allah and you will be remoursful about it.

Dont ponder of how hurt you are because of him, ponder over the fact that you have disobeyed Allah swt and cry over the fact that you could be punished greatly.

Ask Allah swt to forgive you and to remove what feelings u have of this guy and pray that he allows you to move on with your life. You will never be able to forget the guy, but you will be able to take lessons from this and learn from your mistakes.

Whats done is done, dont cry over this issue, because its not going to benefit you, go for a walk if you can, talk to some friends. its not healthy for you to keep thinking about it.

[sevgi]

I know I will sound really bad for going out with this guy (or any guy for that matter) but I need to get this off my chest, I need your help and advice, i'm suffering so much.

I'm a Sunni female and he is an Ahmedi, I know it's really bad but I only found about him being Ahmedi after I got too attached to him, people have told me to keep away as Ahmedi's are known as kafir and they are no good. But i always found it hard as i'd fallen head over heals for him.

I split up with him about a month ago and its been torture for me, I can't seem to move on, I know it's for the best but why can't I accept that it's over and just move on. He never felt the same as i did, i know he liked me alot at the start but i guess his feelings faded. I cant handle the pain of rejection and the pain of him leaving me.

Im finding this soooooooo hard, there's no words to describe this pain. i start crying for him for the silliest reasons, like when i hear a song on the radio, or i go to a place where me n him went... anything and everything reminds me of him and i cant get away from it. I cry myself to sleep at night thinkin about the times we spent together, and my heart breaks into a millions pieces when i think about how he's moved on & forgotten about me so easily.

My heart is not in peace, i need some kind of peace, i have been praying namaz and doing dua in my mind to feel peace, but things r just getting worse and worse and im crying all the time. i dont know wot to do!!!! I have no self control. Im a total mess. Please help. :cry:

if u love soemone...love for the right reasons...for Allahs sake...i dnt know what you love about him but its easy to move on when u think of the fact that he doesnt respect teh Allah which has created him and you and all the thimgs around u...

[Umar001]

I dont know, I think its natural to feel the way you feel, I was 'in love' COUGH COUGH before I became a Muslim, but trust me, it'll pass, to me it made me think that love didnt exist.

As I have said before, time and time again, how good of a person can a person be if they reject truth??

Would you really want your kids to be brought up by him?

A thing that I do myself to keep me in check or I tell brothers since we tend to go on looks alot, if I see someone in the street and I find it hard to lower my gaze, I take it to the fundamentals, I think, 'Ok Eesa, well if you think you like her, do you think she'd teach your kids about the most important things? Or would she teach them how to dance and play instruments and forget Allah'

And alot of times it works. THe feeling of such love is not real sister, why? Because such love takes you to disobeying Allah, PURE love is obeying Allah, when you are purely in love with someone it's because you see the truth in that person, how can someone love a person who is on falsehood? It is not possible, noone can love a person who is doing desteble things, rather, it is deception and a need that we have of being wanted and not rejected and when we find someone we try to attach ourselfs and fool ourselfs that we are in love.

Wallahi, Love is pure, and purity leads to Allah.

And Allah knows best.

Your Brother, Abu Ikhlas.

[Tanya Khan]

Snakelegs: (i imagine it is extremely difficult for an uneducated single woman to support herself in pakistan).

Lol i'm not in Pakistan, i'm in the UK.
*****

Muslimah_Sis:
"Your circumstances are adding to your misery. You shared happy times and as there's no happiness in your life at present, you are finding it in your memories of him."

That is very true, and i'm finding it so hard not to think like that, I get really sad and angry because he has everything, money, loving family, friends, a beautiful house, his own business, a nice car, i compare it to my situation and it burns me inside, he would never look back and give me a second glance, even if i could marry him, i would have nothing to offer him, where as he has everything and it makes me so jealous that he will go and find a girl who has alot more than i did, and he will appreciate that, God knows what he thinks of me.

I know materialistic things shouldn't matter but its so hard, almost impossible to think that about life after death and realise that this life is not a permanent life, most people just carry on living and thinking about the present, not what the future holds, i find it so so hard.
:cry:


I read all the replies to this thread yesterday and I felt a bit better and thought I will go home and pray and not think about him, but when it was time to go sleep, he was on my mind again and I felt so teary.
The problem with me is that when I pray, I feel better and positive that things will get better, but an hour/2 hours later i feel miserable again and start crying. I'm so weak and I wish I had the strength to go on without that man. When things were good with him, I was on top of the world, when things were bad with him, I was the most miserable person in the world, but now that he's gone, I feel like my world has come to an end. I just can't win! :hiding:

[Tanya Khan]

Muslimah_Sis

"Nothing is impossible sis. Take control of your life and circumstances. Once you immerse yourself in practical affairs, your mind will be occupied in the here-and-now rather than what was."

That's another thing, I have no self-control and I feel like I won't get anywhere no matter how much I try. I'm 28 this year and I have achieved nothing in life. It's very hard to accept that you have nothing at this age, no career, no home, no family, no trustworthy friends, no money, makes me feel hopeless. Who would want to marry a girl like this? No one!

I know a 21 year old girl who is on £30k a year, she has a nice car, a family who care for her, a loving boyfriend (even though it's haram) and a big house.
I envy her. People tell me to appreciate what I have, but what is there to appreciate in my life, I have nothing!

Ok maybe i'm alive and there are people worse off than I am, but then why do I feel like i'm worse off than everyone else? When your going through times like these, it's hard to appreciate things because you feel you have nothing, nothing at all. From all the people I have met and known, I have been the worst off!! How am I supposed to appreciate what I haven't got?
I can't take control of my life, I feel hopeless, worthless, unwanted, uncared for and sometimes I wonder why i'm alive.

Why did this guy come into my life if it was going to end in tears!! :mad:
The same thing has happened to me twice before, I dont understand why people come into your life if your not ment to be with them, i'm so fed up! :mad: :cry:

[tomtomsmom]

Every tear falls for a reason dear. Perhaps this happened so when true love finds you, you will be able to see it.
Like I said before, go to your local mosque and see if they can help you go back to school and get a job. It is never too late to start over. But you have to want it. Do not let this depression take over your life!!!!!!

[Snowflake]

That is very true, and i'm finding it so hard not to think like that, I get really sad and angry because he has everything, money, loving family, friends, a beautiful house, his own business, a nice car, i compare it to my situation and it burns me inside, he would never look back and give me a second glance, even if i could marry him, i would have nothing to offer him, where as he has everything and it makes me so jealous that he will go and find a girl who has alot more than i did, and he will appreciate that, God knows what he thinks of me.

I know materialistic things shouldn't matter but its so hard, almost impossible to think that about life after death and realise that this life is not a permanent life, most people just carry on living and thinking about the present, not what the future holds, i find it so so hard.
:cry:

:sl: dear sis,

Having material things doesn't make one a better person in the eyes of Allah. In the akhirah we won't be judged by our wordly possessions, but our deeds, actions and intentions. Don't envy anyone for what they have materially. Instead look up to people who are strong in their deen and strive to become a good muslimah.


As for your job and housing needs, you can get help with that too. It may be a while before you are rehoused but even that will only happen if you take practical steps.

You can either:

1) go to your local council housing and register yourself as homeless. You will made an offer in 28 days. Bear in mind that in this case, with most councils, you don't have a choice but to accept the first offer. But don't take my word for it as policies are changing all the time.


2) go to a women's hostel. You'll be safe and will perhaps get 3-4 offers. You can make a claim for income support/rent if you are unemployed at the time.

employment - check out these sites

1) http://about.monster.co.uk/

http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/JCP/index.html

http://www.newjobdirect.co.uk/


2) make an appointment at your local job centre to see a careers advisor.


You can only change your situation by taking practical steps sis.
Once your job problem is solved and you have your own place to live in. Your responsibilites will increase. A new home means a new start. You'll be busy turning your house into a comfy home for you to live in. Needless to say, your mind will be occupied and the change refreshing.

Find spiritual peace in the rememberance of Allah. Fulfil to duties to your creator and He will help you in your affairs. Go along to muslim sister's gatherings and get to know some sisters, and in their company increase your knowledge of Islam.

Look after your health and body. Go for a walk in the park. Browse/buy books at an islamic book shop. Play Quranic recitation (with translation if you don't understand) as you go about doing household chores. Your mind will feel at peace and your focus will be on Allah and His teachings.


I don't mean to be harsh sis. But don't expect anyone to come along and make things better for you. Expectations are rarely fulfilled. Only expect from Allah. Take control of your life and don't give anyone the pleasure of seeing you break because of them. You are number ONE. You come first. You have to put yourself first.

I feel like my world has come to an end.

No, your world is just beginning. A world where you will have control over your own life and will refuse to let others destroy your happiness. Be positive for positivity attracts good things.


If there's anything I can do to help, please don't hesistate to ask. :)


kindest regards

ur sis

:w:





I feel like my world has come to an end.

[Maimunah]

sis even though what u did was right, i know how u feel exactly.
my advice to you is pray to rakaats and complain to Allah. surely Allah is Ar raqiib, Hamiid, Rahmaan and Razaaq. pray qiyaam layl if u can and supplicate to Him, otherwise pray witr before u sleep n make duaa.

hope that helps.

wasalaam

[Snowflake]

Salam Tanya sis,

How are you? Have you managed to sort something out with regards to housing and employment?

wa alaikum aslam.

[Tanya Khan]

Salam Tanya sis,

How are you? Have you managed to sort something out with regards to housing and employment?

wa alaikum aslam.

No I haven't, my problems are getting worse and worse, Allah is not on my side, Allah hates me, he is making me suffer. :cry:

[Al-Zaara]

No I haven't, my problems are getting worse and worse, Allah is not on my side, Allah hates me, he is making me suffer. :cry:

:sl:

When things are at its worst, you must have strong Imaan to realize, things will get better and better... Be a strong Muslim and you have nothing to fear, Allah has promised us this. And He keeps every one of His promises.

Allah is on every Muslim's side. It's up to you: Choose to have faith in Allah and continue this fight, which He'll reward you for insha'Allah or fall in despair because of this dunya which isn't our last place to live in, which is only a TEST?

As believers, we choose Allah (swt). Nothing is eternal but Allah.

Love Him and you'll get the same treatment from the Almighty.

Have sabr sister, I am just going through a change which might change my whole life and plans I had and I have no clue what will happen, but I trust in Allah (swt). Now I feel eased and I know, I'll make through it and that Allah will help me.

Everyone gets different tests from Allah (swt). This is your test, and you have Allah (swt) as the Judge, the best of Judges, the Most Merciful, the ever Forgiving. Allah has granted you the Qur'an as your material, to read and study, so you will always find light in the darkness you may fall into. You have Muhammad (saas) as your teacher, he has granted you the Sunnah and ways to live everyday in.

With all that, how could a Muslim not survive this dunya? It's hard, painful and may want us to just shut everything down... But we know there's something better, waiting for us, insha'Allah.


Allah is always with you, all you need is to turn to him and pray.

[Tanya Khan]

I do turn to him and pray, but Allah (swt) is not listening to my prayers. I hvae been praying for happiness in my life for years and years, but all I get is treacherous pain and heartache that makes me feel suicidal :cry:

I don't want to lose faith in Allah (swt), but i'm scared because I feel he's not helping me and he wants me to suffer no matter how much I pray.

I'm because I think I am losing faith, I don't want to, it's just the way I feel. How can I keep my faith in Allah? Pls help i'm so scared.

[Snowflake]

No I haven't, my problems are getting worse and worse, Allah is not on my side, Allah hates me, he is making me suffer. :cry:

:sl: dear sis,

I've learnt one thing in life. And that is that when we do our best to please Allah, He bestows His help and Mercy in return and eases our troubles for us. Sometimes, Allah sends help through others and sometimes He gives us the strength and wisdom to find solutions. But what He never does is abandon His creation when they to Him for help.

A healthy relationship, whether it'd be with humanbeings or with our Creator, is based on giving and taking and the fulfilment of their rights. Allah doesn't even ask much of us, and even that which He asks of us is for our own benefit. Allah doesn't need us for anything, it's us who need Him for everything.

He has blessed us with the means of earning His pleasure, through our deeds. Allah doesn't say leave everything and worship me 24/7, 365 days year. No! He has given us salah (namaz) to attain closeness to Him and earn His pleasure by worshipping Him and duaa to ask for His Mercy and Blessings. Why? So that He may help US.

If I didn't pray and strive to gain Allah's pleasure through additional means, I would not feel worthy of even His tiniest blessing. And if I was facing troubles and grief, I'd never blame Allah for my situation. What right would I have to expect Allah's help when I cannot even fulfil the rights of my Creator? I wouldn't feel worthy of His help and would only blame myself for the mess I'm in. If I displease Allah, He has every right to punish me and I will never begrudge Him that right.


Admit, for your own sake that you have displeased Allah and without repenting and striving to please Him, do not expect Him to give you what you have not earned. Allah has shown you how to attain His pleasure through the Quran and Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammed (PBUH).. It's up to you now.


Allah is on your side. But are you? It simply isn't desirable to expect Allah to be there when we ourselves distance ourselves from Him.

"And if anyone puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is Allah for him" (Qur'an: Talaq, 3).

"And remember! Your Lord caused to be declared (publicly): if you are grateful, I will add more (favours) unto you; but if you show ingratitude, truly My punishment is terrible indeed" (Qur'an: lbrahim, 7).

"And those who, having done something to be ashamed of, or wronged their own souls, earnestly bring Allah to mind, and ask for forgiveness for their sins-and who can forgive sins except Allah?-and are never obstinate in persisting knowingly in the wrong they have done. For such the reward is forgiveness from their Lord, and Garden with rivers flowing underneath, an eternal dwelling. How excellent a recompense for those Who work (Grid strive)" (Qur'an: AI-Imran, 135-1.16).

Does that show that Allah hates you? Please sis, do not say such things. I even personally cannot take it. But given your ignorance in the Mercy and Kindness of my Allah, I have sympathy for you. Please forgive me if I sound harsh. I pray Allah gives you hidayah and to us all, inshaAllah. Ameen.


:w:

[Tanya Khan]

No you are not being harsh at all, you are only saying whats right. I feel so ashamed and guilty for thinking those things. But sometimes when things are too much to handle for me, I get so so angry and I can't control it.

I go out and see cars and buses going past me on the road, and I feel like jumping in front of them, but then I think about my family and I can't do it. Sis i'm so miserable. I'm not just saying this, but i feel like I am slowly dying. :cry:

[Maimunah]

I do turn to him and pray, but Allah (swt) is not listening to my prayers. I hvae been praying for happiness in my life for years and years, but all I get is treacherous pain and heartache that makes me feel suicidal :cry:

I don't want to lose faith in Allah (swt), but i'm scared because I feel he's not helping me and he wants me to suffer no matter how much I pray.

I'm because I think I am losing faith, I don't want to, it's just the way I feel. How can I keep my faith in Allah? Pls help i'm so scared.

salaam sis,
the prophet sallalahu aleyhi wasalaam said "Call to Allah with certainty of being answered. And know that Allah does not respond to the du'a from a heart which is forgetful or frivolous." At-Tirmidhi

Allah said "And when my slave asks you about me, I am surely close. I answer the du'aa of the caller when he calls me. So, let him respond to Me and believe in Me that perchance he may be guided.} Al-Baqarah:186

Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“duas and ta’awwudhaat [prayers seeking refuge with Allaah] are like a weapon, and a weapon is only as good as the person who is using it; it is not merely the matter of how sharp it is. If the weapon is perfect and free of faults, and the arm of the person using it is strong, and there is nothing stopping him, then he can lay waste the enemy. But if any of these three features is lacking, then the effect will be lacking accordingly.”

(al-Daa’ wa’l-Dawaa’, p. 35).

Things which may prevent dua from being answered include:

When the dua is weak in itself, because it involves something inappropriate, or involves bad manners towards Allaah, may He be exalted, or it is inappropriate, which means asking Allaah for something which it is not permitted to ask, e.g. when a man asks to live forever in this world, or he asks for a sin or something haraam, or he prays that he will die, and so on. Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A person's duas will continue to be answered so long as he does not pray for something sinful or for the breaking of family ties.” Narrated by Muslim.

so never loose hope sis, inshaAllah know that Allah is testing you and that HE loves you. be patient the prophets of Allah were tested too. think about prophet yaquub Aleyhi salaam and what he went through. he never lost hope in Allah. you should feel happy the fact that Allah is testing you for he is removing your sins out of His mercy. Allah is the All Wise, He knows fully why this happening to you "Should He not know what He created ? And He is the Subtile, the Aware" (suraa 67). think about it sis:)

check this site, maybe it will help you
http://www.islamiclifestyles.com/dua.htm

may Allah increase you in imaan and taqwa
:w:

[islamway]

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “If there comes to you with an offer of marriage (for your daughter, sister, etc.) one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter, sister, etc, to) him. If you do not do so, there will be mischief on earth and widespread corruption.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 1004; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 270)

even if after knowing as a mulim something which angers Allaah, Who has forbidden believing women to do such things in the Qur’an (interpretation of the meaning): “… they should be chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boyfriends…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:25].

This is not permitted at all, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “… they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them…” [al-Mumtahinah 60:10]

there is no way out of this problem now except one: this man must become Muslim in a real sense.

sister as brother in islam i can just say you a god advice and a better one.First of all forget the past and repent to Allah for what you have done open heartedly.Sister the life of th world is nothing but a game of attractions for every soul shall pay the price for what it had done for every drop of blood that got attracted or forced for will be counted.Sister why dont you understand your in this world for a test and that person whom you even knew that he was a kafir you are responsible to bring him in your life ,so sister in this also is your test remember Every self will taste death. We test
you with both good and evil as a trial.
And you will be returned to Us.
(Qur'an, 21:35)
[Have we not] shown him the two highways? But he has not braved the steep ascent. What will convey to you what the steep ascent is? It is freeing a slave or feeding on a day of hunger an orphaned relative or a poor man in the dust; then to be one of those who believe and urge each other to steadfastness and urge each other to compassion. Those are the Companions of the Right. Those who reject Our signs, they are the Companions of the Left. Above them is a sealed vault of Fire. (Surat al-Balad, 10-20)

"Did you suppose that We created you for amusement and that you would not return to Us?" (Surah Ghafir, 115) and "I only created jinn and man to worship Me" (Surat adh-Dhariyat, 56).

"the life of this world, compared to the Hereafter, is only fleeting enjoyment" (Surat ar-Ra`d, 26).

He Who created death and life to test which of you is best in action. He is the Almighty, the Ever-Forgiving. (Surat al-Mulk, 2)

Say: "Shall I inform you of the greatest losers in their actions? People whose efforts in the life of this world are misguided while they suppose that they are doing good." Those are the people who reject their Lord's Signs and the meeting with Him. Their actions will come to nothing and, on the Day of Resurrection, We will not assign them any weight. (Surat al-Kahf, 103-5)

sister there is no doubt your being put to trial by Allah ,see as you were leving your past you tried to forget him but that person comes in ur thoughts and whenever you do something ,sister that is saitan who wants you to get angry on Allah,sister when you remember Allah with faith and his gudance then only you can gain freedom from saitan,saitan wants you with him and go against Allah.

(Allaah) said: “(O Iblees) get down from this (Paradise), it is not for you to be arrogant here. Get out, for you are of those humiliated and disgraced.”

(Iblees) said: “Allow me respite till the Day they are raised up (i.e. the Day of Resurrection).”

(Allaah) said: “You are of those respited.”

(Iblees) said: “Because You have sent me astray, surely, I will sit in wait against them (human beings) on Your straight path.

“Then I will come to them from before them and behind them, from their right and from their left, and You will not find most of them as thankful ones (i.e. they will not be dutiful to You).”

(Allaah) said (to Iblees): “Get out from this (Paradise), disgraced and expelled. Whoever of them (mankind) will follow you, then surely, I will fill Hell with you all.”’

[al-A’raaf 7:11-18]

Allaah tells us what the Shaytaan said when he was informed that he would be expelled and cast away from the mercy of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):

‘[Iblees (Satan)] said: “By Your Might, then I will surely, mislead them all,


“Except Your chosen slaves amongst them (i.e. faithful, obedient, true believers of Islamic Monotheism).”

(Allaah) said: “The truth is — and the truth I say

. That I will fill Hell with you [Iblees (Satan)] and those of them (mankind) that follow you, together.”’

[Saad 38:82-85]

‘And Shaytaan (Satan) will say when the matter has been decided: “Verily, Allaah promised you a promise of truth. And I too promised you, but I betrayed you. I had no authority over you except that I called you, and you responded to me. So blame me not, but blame yourselves. I cannot help you, nor can you help me. I deny your former act in associating me (Satan) as a partner with Allaah (by obeying me in the life of the world). Verily, there is a painful torment for the Zaalimoon (polytheists and wrongdoers).”’

[Ibraaheem 14:22]


sister your main goal in this world is:-
Race each other to forgiveness from
your Lord, and a Garden [i.e., Paradise]
as wide as the heavens and Earth,
prepared for those who do their duty.
(Surah Al 'Imran, 133)

after reading this i hope sister inshallah ALLAH willing you start a new life,AMEEN may Allah free you from the traps of saitan AMEEN.

[tomtomsmom]

I have a joke to tell. but I don't want you to think I am making light of the situation you are in. It is only to help me prove a point.

A boat in the middle of the oceans sinks and the man on board is floating in the water. A boat comes by and asks if he needs help. The man says "No, God will save me".
Another boat comes by and asks if he needs help. He says "No, God will save me. Then the man drowns. When he gets to heaven he goes to God and asks him "ohhh God why didn't you save me from drowning???"
And God says to him "well I sent you two boats dummy, what more could I do???"

What I am trying to say here is, have faith that God will help you. But don't think that his help will magically appear. The actions have to be yours. You have to be pro-active in getting your life together. Don't take anything for granted. You never know who God has sent to help you.

[Snowflake]

I have a joke to tell. but I don't want you to think I am making light of the situation you are in. It is only to help me prove a point.

A boat in the middle of the oceans sinks and the man on board is floating in the water. A boat comes by and asks if he needs help. The man says "No, God will save me".
Another boat comes by and asks if he needs help. He says "No, God will save me. Then the man drowns. When he gets to heaven he goes to God and asks him "ohhh God why didn't you save me from drowning???"
And God says to him "well I sent you two boats dummy, what more could I do???"

What I am trying to say here is, have faith that God will help you. But don't think that his help will magically appear. The actions have to be yours. You have to be pro-active in getting your life together. Don't take anything for granted. You never know who God has sent to help you.

lol good example. I especially agree with your last sentence.

[madeenahsh]

Asallam alaikum warahmatullaah

Sis do u have paltalk or msn? would u plis pass it over if possible

JazakhaAllaah kheiran

wasallam alaikum

[Tanya Khan]

Asallam alaikum warahmatullaah

Sis do u have paltalk or msn? would u plis pass it over if possible

JazakhaAllaah kheiran

wasallam alaikum

I tried to private message you my msn add, but I can't, It says I have to have posted 50 or more posts to send private messages. How can I do it?

[Tanya Khan]

I have a joke to tell. but I don't want you to think I am making light of the situation you are in. It is only to help me prove a point.

A boat in the middle of the oceans sinks and the man on board is floating in the water. A boat comes by and asks if he needs help. The man says "No, God will save me".
Another boat comes by and asks if he needs help. He says "No, God will save me. Then the man drowns. When he gets to heaven he goes to God and asks him "ohhh God why didn't you save me from drowning???"
And God says to him "well I sent you two boats dummy, what more could I do???"

What I am trying to say here is, have faith that God will help you. But don't think that his help will magically appear. The actions have to be yours. You have to be pro-active in getting your life together. Don't take anything for granted. You never know who God has sent to help you.

Lol, Thank you for replying. I like the way you put your point across. :smile:

At the moment i'm looking at my life and thinking, who could be sent by God to help me? I can think of a couple of people, and I am very greatful, Alhumdo lillah, because I thought I had no one.Thank you for making me realise that Allah (swt) IS helping in some way or other, I just couldn't see it. I Hope Allah (swt) forgives me for my sins.

Ameen.

[tomtomsmom]

Lol, Thank you for replying. I like the way you put your point across. :smile:

At the moment i'm looking at my life and thinking, who could be sent by God to help me? I can think of a couple of people, and I am very greatful, Alhumdo lillah, because I thought I had no one.Thank you for making me realise that Allah (swt) IS helping in some way or other, I just couldn't see it. I Hope Allah (swt) forgives me for my sins.

Ameen.

I am so glad that in some small way I could help you!!!!!
You never know, maybe God sent you here to this forum so you could get the help and support that you need. And yes, if you will be forgiven for your sins dear.

Btw-you have a pm!!!!

[madeenahsh]

Asallam alaikum
Sis do have paltalk .if so could u add id .maganyakulo to ur list.

yeah u cant send me pm until, u have reached the maxi post and thats 50 post's Allaahu mustaan.

InshAllaah kheir , just try to add this id and see it works if not let me know
Wsallam alaikum

[Tanya Khan]

I am so glad that in some small way I could help you!!!!!
You never know, maybe God sent you here to this forum so you could get the help and support that you need. And yes, if you will be forgiven for your sins dear.

Btw-you have a pm!!!!

Thank you very much for that, I will add you next time I go on msn.

Allah Hafiz

[Tanya Khan]

Asallam alaikum
Sis do have paltalk .if so could u add id .maganyakulo to ur list.

yeah u cant send me pm until, u have reached the maxi post and thats 50 post's Allaahu mustaan.

InshAllaah kheir , just try to add this id and see it works if not let me know
Wsallam alaikum

Sorry i've never heard of paltalk???
By the way can you private message me your msn as I can't msg you.

[islamway]

even if a person helps you while you were dying thank Allah only,its only because of his mercy you got saved, break the promise of shaitan that no one will thank Allah “Then I will come to them from before them and behind them, from their right and from their left, and You will not find most of them as thankful ones (i.e. they will not be dutiful to You).”[al-A’raaf 7:11-18]

sister thank ALLAH ONLY HE BROUGHT OUT FROM DARKNESS.JUST A MILLION TIMES TO ALLAH ALONE ONLY HE DESERVES TO BE THANKED.

JAZAKLLAHKHAIR.:smile:

[Snowflake]

No you are not being harsh at all, you are only saying whats right. I feel so ashamed and guilty for thinking those things. But sometimes when things are too much to handle for me, I get so so angry and I can't control it.

I go out and see cars and buses going past me on the road, and I feel like jumping in front of them, but then I think about my family and I can't do it. Sis i'm so miserable. I'm not just saying this, but i feel like I am slowly dying. :cry:

:sl: sis,

When you say you pray.. do you mean making supplications or offering salah? Salah is also known as 'contact prayer'. This is when you are closest to Allah in direct contact with him. Without fulfilling our duties to Allah it is like asking your boss to give you wages without having done any work.

The neeyah (intention) of salah should be of worshipping/praising Allah. Not going through the motions and then hoping your duaas will be answered. Allah knows what's inside our hearts. Offer salah regularly and see how Allah bestows His mercy on you.

Sis, when I said Allah can may you through others, It doesn't mean that someone will knock on your door and say, "Oh, I heard you need a house/job etc.. I will give you one!" It means that Allah will put mercy in peoples hearts so that they will help and support you, when you approach them.

Have you taken any practical steps to look for a job and get help with housing matters? I hope you have inshaAllah.

Recite 'astaghfirullah' frequently and give sadka in the name of Allah. InshaAllah He will remove obstacles hindering your progress.

Pray salat-ul-hajat. InshaAllah Allah will answer your needs.
http://www.islamicacademy.org/cgi-bi...ID=Hajaat_A.rm

Hope to hear some good news soon inshaAllah. :)

:w:

[Tanya Khan]

:sl: sis,

When you say you pray.. do you mean making supplications or offering salah? Salah is also known as 'contact prayer'. This is when you are closest to Allah in direct contact with him. Without fulfilling our duties to Allah it is like asking your boss to give you wages without having done any work.

The neeyah (intention) of salah should be of worshipping/praising Allah. Not going through the motions and then hoping your duaas will be answered. Allah knows what's inside our hearts. Offer salah regularly and see how Allah bestows His mercy on you.

Sis, when I said Allah can may you through others, It doesn't mean that someone will knock on your door and say, "Oh, I heard you need a house/job etc.. I will give you one!" It means that Allah will put mercy in peoples hearts so that they will help and support you, when you approach them.

Have you taken any practical steps to look for a job and get help with housing matters? I hope you have inshaAllah.

Recite 'astaghfirullah' frequently and give sadka in the name of Allah. InshaAllah He will remove obstacles hindering your progress.

Pray salat-ul-hajat. InshaAllah Allah will answer your needs.
http://www.islamicacademy.org/cgi-bi...ID=Hajaat_A.rm

Hope to hear some good news soon inshaAllah. :)

:w:

Salaam sis, how r u? Hope your ok. I will be totally honest with you, please don't think i'm a bad person for not praying every single day.

I don't pray namaz 5 times a day like I should. But I do pray as much as I can, I read Qu'ran Sharif as much as I can, i also read different Surah's like Surah Yaseen, Surah Muzamill. But with namaz I used to pray what I could.

Like when I came back from work I prayed Kaza followed by Isha namaaz, but then someone told me you can't pray kaza namaz if you miss the namaz deliberatly.

If i'm at work I dont pray, I know that is very wrong, I used to come home and pray kaza to catch up on all the missed ones. But i Stopped after someone told me I can't do that. I thought it was better to pray something than nothing at all, but I guess not.

I'm so confused though, please enlighten me on the following...

If I come back from work and I haven't prayed any of the Salah, but I still have time to pray Isha... can I still pray Isha namaz if the others were missed?

If I missed all the Salah and I come home from work, can I still pray Kaza followed by Isha namaz? Don't you think it's better to pray something rather than nothing?

I know people will tell me to pray at work, but if I don't can I still do the above? The thing is, i've never been very religious, i've always been quite westernised, but when I started praying and reading Qu'ran Sharif, people in my family were really surprised and happy. I'm trying my best to become more religious, InshahAllah. But for now i'm trying to do what I can.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

sis i think it is definitly better to pray something then nothing but inshaAllaah we should still try our best to pray at work on time. salaah is the most important thing, if we cant even give time for that then... subhanAllaah.

I hope Allaah helps you find a way to pray your salaah's on time inshaAllaah


:salamext:

[Tanya Khan]

Do you think I will get bad luck or be punished if I don't pray at work, and only pray when i'm at home? Or do you think Allah (swt) will still be pleased with me for praying??? :eek:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Do you think I will get bad luck or be punished if I don't pray at work, and only pray when i'm at home? Or do you think Allah (swt) will still be pleased with me for praying??? :eek:

sis theres millions of muslims out there who work in offices and pray in offices, im one of them. Allaah swt is the most forgiving, the most merciful but subhanAllaah we shouldnt test him, lets do as he said. Please sis try your best to pray on time inshaAllaah. But if you really really, REALLY (afta trying your utmost best cant) then inshaAllaah Allaah is the most forgiving.

Allahu a'lam.

personally when i dont pray on time, i await something bad to happen and get scared....

[Tanya Khan]

I'm not very religous though, I wear make-up and leave my hair out and I wear westernised clothes to work. I've never prayed at work before :muddlehea

[Qurratul Ayn]

Do you think I will get bad luck or be punished if I don't pray at work, and only pray when i'm at home? Or do you think Allah (swt) will still be pleased with me for praying??? :eek:

:salamext:

My Dear Sister Tanya Khan, only Allah Ta'ala is the Only One who will ever know what happens in the future and what our rewards and punishments will be therefore we have to always abide the rules and laws set for us since the beginning of time by Allah Ta'ala.

So, my Dear Sister try your utmost best to read Namaaz on time if not then definitely read it if it has gone into khaza. Jyst ask and pray for forgiveness everyday to Allah Ta'ala to accept your prayers and pray the Qur'an.

I will pray for you Sister Tanya Khan and Insha'Allah Ta'ala all Brothers and Sisters will too, also you pray for all of us too.

:salamext:
Qurratul Ayn

[IbnAbdulHakim]

I'm not very religous though, I wear make-up and leave my hair out and I wear westernised clothes to work. I've never prayed at work before :muddlehea

:salamext:

then i would be VERY VERY scared :omg:

My sister in islam, the fact that your wanting to pray shows that you have imaan in your heart, i just hope that you can slowly follow islams other commands, wallahi the more you go towards Allaah the more Allaah swt comes towards you and you just start to feel amazingly guided. Everything falls into place and life seems like its kneeling to you (ie you will only care about Allaah swt and getting to jannah, you wont care what bad things life brings).

I pray Allaah helps us all sis, in following him properly inshaAllaah

[Tanya Khan]

:salamext:

My Dear Sister Tanya Khan, only Allah Ta'ala is the Only One who will ever know what happens in the future and what our rewards and punishments will be therefore we have to always abide the rules and laws set for us since the beginning of time by Allah Ta'ala.

So, my Dear Sister try your utmost best to read Namaaz on time if not then definitely read it if it has gone into khaza. Jyst ask and pray for forgiveness everyday to Allah Ta'ala to accept your prayers and pray the Qur'an.

I will pray for you Sister Tanya Khan and Insha'Allah Ta'ala all Brothers and Sisters will too, also you pray for all of us too.

:salamext:
Qurratul Ayn

Your reply is very sweet. thank you, I will pray for all of you too, InshahAllah.

[Malaikah]

:sl:

In a hadith qudsi, Allah tells us

I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly even better than that one. And if he takes one step towards me, I take ten steps towards him. And if he comes walking to Me, I go running towards him.

And:

God the Almighty has said, "O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it."

Forty Hadith of an-Nawawi 42

[skhalid]

Sista you did the rite thing!!!
I aint got nufing againt Ahmediz but I fink your family/relatives will....we dnt knw much about them as they do...and for your sake keep ur hed up high...what is the point of cying over sum1 who dont evn think about u anymore?????
You will find the right person for you....just wait....be patient...and let go of that relationship...there's plenty of fish in the sea!!!

[Tanya Khan]

:sl:

In a hadith qudsi, Allah tells us

I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly even better than that one. And if he takes one step towards me, I take ten steps towards him. And if he comes walking to Me, I go running towards him.

And:

God the Almighty has said, "O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it."

Forty Hadith of an-Nawawi 42

Thank you so so so much for that. My heart feels so light after reading that...

:D

[Tanya Khan]

Sista you did the rite thing!!!
I aint got nufing againt Ahmediz but I fink your family/relatives will....we dnt knw much about them as they do...and for your sake keep ur hed up high...what is the point of cying over sum1 who dont evn think about u anymore?????
You will find the right person for you....just wait....be patient...and let go of that relationship...there's plenty of fish in the sea!!!

I know what you mean, I'd never even heard of Ahmedies until I met him. I also have nothing against ahmedies, but my parents and friends would hate him.

I know it's for the best but I find it hard sometimes, when I break down and cry so much. I miss him alot sumtimes, it really hurts that he stopped caring and just left me like that.
:cry:

[AnonymousPoster]

I know what you mean, I'd never even heard of Ahmedies until I met him. I also have nothing against ahmedies, but my parents and friends would hate him.

I know it's for the best but I find it hard sometimes, when I break down and cry so much. I miss him alot sumtimes, it really hurts that he stopped caring and just left me like that.
:cry:

:sl:

He's not worth your tears. He's only human just like you and me, we make mistakes, big and small... Insha'Allah one day when you have really moved on, you'll be able to forgive him his mistakes and faults, and rather pray that Allah (swt) guides him too.

[Snowflake]

Salam sis,

Are you at work now? It's almost Asr time. I hope you're able to pray there. And yes you can read kazah if you missed salah. Gtg, talk to you later InshaAllah.

[Tanya Khan]

^ Even if I don't pray at work? Is it ok to go home and pray kaza to catch up?

[Snowflake]

Yes but if your allowed at work you must not miss them.

Here are some helpful links inshaAllah.

http://muslim-canada.org/fiqhch24.htm

http://www.guidedones.com/metapage/s...sed_prayer.htm

[Dhulqarnaeen]

[QUOTE=Tanya Khan;640197]I know....[QUOTE]
:w:
1. Believe me sis, what you did is the best thing that have done in your life, and its a brave move and its a prove of your iman to Allah azza wa jalla. Cause one sign of muslim is they hate kafereen and they love Muslims like they love them self.
2. Your suffers is one sign that you never pay attention to your deen. I understand your feeling very well, but IF you are close to Allah and understand Islam well, Im sure your attention to Islam will make you easier to forget him. Especially when he is ahmedi and kafeer.
3. About kafeer or not, actually we cant say All ahmedi is kafeer mutlaq, cause some of them maybe never accept explanation about what is ahmedy really is, cause they accept to be ahmedy since they were kids.
4. Learn about Islam, learn about tauhid and sunnah, and try to remember Qur'an and make it as your melody replace the music. Cause music is haram according hadith Rasulullah. And it can bring munafiq to your soul, and theres hadith that said music lovers will be raised in yaumuol akhir as animal look. And music lovers have no capabilities to say kalimah tauhid (laa illaha ilallah) in the end of their life, when they have sakaratul maut.
5. Listening to the music will bring back your memories which full with sins, and I ever heard because of music, someone killed them self. Cause it bring back the bad memories. I have been there before so I know, Allahu a'lam.
6. Rasulullah said: "If someone leave something because of Allah, surely Allah will give him something which is more better". So BESURE to Allah and FORGET him, insha Allah Allah will give you a man who is much more better than him.
7. Taubat to Allah and dont do taht again. Its haram to have relationship to man excvept if you wanna nikah him not very long. And if you wanna meet a man you must have your mahram with you. Dont do it again sis, and do taubah nashuha. Innallaha ghofurur rahim.

[Tanya Khan]

Is there a special Dua or something I can read to make me stop thinking about him, seriously i'm going mental with him in my head, nothing else is working at the moment, feels like I have something inside that won't let me move on! :mad: :cry:

can I pray Nafal namaz when I get home from work, as you can pray Nafal for anything right? Please someone help me...

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:salamext:

ye you can pray nawwafil namaz whenever you want sis.

InshaAllaah things will get better

[Tanya Khan]

^ Thank you so much for giving me that information, I'm useless. I don't know anything imsad

[tomtomsmom]

^ Thank you so much for giving me that information, I'm useless. I don't know anything imsad

Awwww don't feel bad hon. Learning is a life long process. What matters is that you are trying to learn!!!

[Tanya Khan]

............. :d

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


Sister, you can read dua's from here:

http://makedua.com/display_dua.php?sectionid=34


There's some good ones for anxiety, and their dua's which the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) prayed:

‘O Allaah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being over powered by men.’

[Tanya Khan]

:salamext:


Sister, you can read dua's from here:

http://makedua.com/display_dua.php?sectionid=34


There's some good ones for anxiety, and their dua's which the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) prayed:

http://makedua.com/i/034-117.gif

‘O Allaah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being over powered by men.’

Thank you for that.

I can't make out the Arabic writing, I can read some of it, but I don't want to read it wrong, I can't make out what some it says.

Can I read the english version? Will that have the same effect?

[Dhulqarnaeen]

^ Thank you so much for giving me that information, I'm useless. I don't know anything imsad

:w:
Read books about life after death, thats will also help insha Allah. And we have iman right, and we believe in qadr from Allah, the bad and the good one. And we also believe that EVERYTHING that happen to us is the best for us, although its feels bitter at the moment, but we dont know and Allah know about all and He know whats best for us. Lets see IF you still with him, and then you love him more and more, and in the end he successfully make you as an ahmady, and then if its like taht you became kafir, isnt that worse? What you expect in this life if you are kafeer. You will be in hell forever. So...separate with him is your destiny, and Im sure its mean that Allah love you somuch that He doesnt want you to be deviate. He want you to enter jannah and not to enter hell. Go to www.salafipublications.com to learn your Islam. Study Islam is wajib for muslims individuals. So dont waste your time thinking about him and begin collecting more good deeds for your life after death.

[Snowflake]

Read the Quran sweety. Read a bit each day, preferable after Fajr, as the Fajr recital is witnessed. You can get one with English Translation & transliteration. It will help you with the pronounciation too inshaAllah.

InshaAllah your love for worldly things will diminish and be replaced by a deep and true love for Allah swt. The only thing that'll matter is your desire to please Him. :)

p.s. did you seek any help for the job and housing problem?

[Snowflake]

Especially for Tanya sis...

Jewels of Quran

Isa bin Muhammad (Alaihir Rahmah) says that I once saw Abu Bakr bin Mujahid (Alaihir Rahmah) after his death in a dream reading the Holy Quran. I asked, "You have died, how are you reciting," upon which he said, "After every Salah and finishing of the Quran, I would pray "O Allah, give me the Taufiq to recite the Quran in my grave" and that is why I am praying." (Faizan-e-Sunnat)



Ahadith

The Holy Prophet said:

1)The best of you is he who learnt the Holy Quran and taught it to others. (Bukhari)

2) Undoubtedly, the heart gets rusted like metal gets rusted when water goes over it. The People asked, "How can they [hearts] be cleaned." The Prophet replied, "To remember death in abundance and to recite the Holy Quran." (Mishkat)

3) That chest which does not have any Quran in it is like an abandoned house. (Tirmizi, Darmi)

4) Whoever read the Quran and memorized it and belived its' Halal to be Halal and its Haram to be Haram [i.e., accepted it commandments of Halal and Haraam], Allah will accept the intercession for such 10 people on from him whom Hell had already become Wajib. (Tirmizi, Ibn-e-Majah)

5) Whoever is an expert in reciting the Holy Quran is with the Kiraman Katebeen and whoever reads the Quran with pauses and it is difficult for him, that is, his tounge does not move easily and he recites with difficutly for him there are two rewards. (Bahar-e-Shariat)

6) The one who has memorized Quran will be told to read and climb and recite with Tarteel (clear and distinct recitation) like you used to read with Tarteel in the Dunya; your place will be where you read your last Ayat. (Bahar-e-Shariat)

7) Allah says, "Whoever was kept busy with the [recitation] of Quran from my Zikr and asking me, I will give him better than those who I give to those who ask" and the excellence of the Word of Allah over all the other words is like the excellence of Allah over all his creation.

8) Learn the Quran and read it because whoever learned the Quran and read it and did Qayam with it is like a bag filled with Musk whose fragrance is spread everywhere and whoever learned the Quran and slept that is he did not do Qiyamul Layl is like a bag which is filled with Musk and its mouth has been closed. (Tirmizi, Ibn-e-Majah, Nisaee)

9) Read the Quran when you heart feels affection and attachment and when your heart becomes bored stand up that is stop reciting the Quran. (Saheeh Bukhari and Muslim)

10) Decorate the Quran with your (good) voices. (Mishkat)

11) O People of the Quran, do not make the Quran a pillow, that is do not be lazy and be careless, and read the Quran in the day and night like it is the Haq of Recitation, and spread it, that is, read with good voices or do not take compensation for it, and whatever is in it, reflect upon itso that you may attain success, and do not hurry in its reward because the reward for it is great (which will be given in the Akhirah). (Bahiqi)


Rewards for certain Surahs and Ayahs

The Holy Prohpet said:
1) Surah Fatiha is a cure from every illness. (Darmi, Bahiqi)

2) Do not make your home a graveyard, the Shaitan runs from the home in which Surah Baqrah is recited. (Sahih Muslim)

3) Whoever memorized the first ten ayahs of Surah Kahf will be saved the Dajjal. (Sahih Muslim)

4) Whoever recites Surah Kahf on the day of Jummah, there will be a Nur brightened for him between two Jummahs.

5) Everything has a heart and the heart of the Quran is Surah Yaseen, whoever read Yaseen, Allah will write the reward of reading the Quran ten times from him. (Tirmizi and Darmi)

6) Whoever reads Surah Yaseen for the pleasure of Allah, his past sins will be forgiven so read this near your deceased. (Bahiqi)

7) (Reading) Qul hu WAllahu Ahad (Surah Ikhlas) is equal to [reading] one third of the Quran.

8) Whoever read Ayatul Kursi after every Fard Salah, he will be under the protection and security of Allah. (Dailmi on the Authority of Sayeduna Ali)

9) (On the Day of Judgement) a caller will say O Recitor of Surah Inaam, come to Jannat for loving Surah Inaam and its recitation.

10) Surah Tabarak (Surah Mulk) saves one from Hell.

11) Whatever task is not begun with Bismillahi Rahamni Raheen remains incomplete and unfinished.


Etiquette and Rules of Tilawat

1) To memorize one Ayah of the Quran is Fard-e-Aeen on every Mukallaf Muslim; to memorize the entire Holy Quran is Fard-e-Kafyah; to memorize Surah Fatiha and a small Surah or something similar like three small Ayahs or one long Ayah is Wajib-e-Aeen. (Durre Mukhtar)

2) To read the Holy Quran while looking at it is better then reading without looking at it because in this case one touches the Holy Quran, sees the Holy Quran, and reads the Holy Quran and all this is Ibadat. (Bahar-e-Shariat)

3) To read the Holy Quran in the restroom and such places of impurity is not allowed (Na-Jaiz)

4) It is Haraam that everybody read the Holy Quran in a gathering loudly at once, however, it is necessary to read loudly enough so that one can hear what he/she is reading, that is, if there is no other distraction like noise. (Bhare-e-Shariat) Also, many children read together at once in a Madrsa loudly for learning purposes and this is okay.

5) It is better to read the Quran loudly that is if somebody praying, sleeping, or somebody ill will not be distracted. (Gunyah)

6) If somebody is reciting the Quran incorrectly then it is Wajib to tell him/her unless if one fears jealousy and hate. (Gunyah)

7) To memorize the Holy Quran and then to forget it is a sin.

8) It is from the ettiqutes of respecting the Holy Quran that one does not put their back towards the Quran or spread their legs towards the Quran or sit in a high place when the Quran is beneath. (Bahare Shariat)

9) During recitation reflect on what you are reading. For example, when reading about punishment, one should repent; when reading about paradise, one should rejoice and pray for Jannah.

10) The way to do Sajdah of Tilwat is as follows: If one hears or reads the Ayat of Sajdah then he should stand with the intention of performing the Sajdah of Tilawat and saying Allahu Akbar should go into Sajdah and should recite the Tasbeeh of Sajdah atleast three times. Then, saying Allahu Akbar, one should stand up. To say Allahu Akbar both times is Sunnah. Similarly, to stand before and after the Sajdah is Mustahab. (Durre Mukhtar)



Lastly, learn how to read the Quran in the company of a Qualified Sunni Alim [and mature sisters must go to a Qualified Sister] who can teach them how to read as this is necessary. At times, while reciting many brothers and sisters unknowingly make mistakes in recitation which change the meaning which breaks their Salah. Likewise, send your children to Madrsas where they may learn how to recite the Quran with correct pronunciation and Qirat. If there is not a Madrsa in your town, then establish one. Knowledge of Islam leads one to Love Allah and helps to build a good moral character within the Muslim community. By learning the Quran, a Muslim saves his Salah, his Iman, and his Akhirah. Learning the Quran is not limited to just learning how to recite the Holy Book, rather, it is a life long process of learning how to recite it and understand what the Quran says. The noble Ulama have worked hard and written volumes of Tafseer which consists of Ahadith, Stories, and important points. After learning the Quran, we must practice it and spread the word into our family and community.


:w:

[Tanya Khan]

I know you people will think i'm so crazy. I think being on my own is worse than being with someone who's not treating me right. I hate saying that because I don't want to think like that, but I feel so hopeless on my own, trying to do other things seems pointless, when I know at the end of the day, when I go home, I will end up thinking about him again, and I will cry on my pillow.

I've tried not to think about him, believe me i'm trying so hard, but I end up breaking again. He don't want me, I want to accept that and move on but it burns me inside. I know people say it's for the best, so why can't I accept that, i'm so angry :mad:

I don't want to like him, I don't want this need for him, but I can't control it, please believe me when I say that, I really do find it impossible to handle.

I have more important things that I should be concentrating on right now, but I feel like there is something else controlling me inside.

So many of u have replied and tried to help and advise me, and I know you must be thinking this girl will never listen, she's beyond help (and trust me I feel as though no one can help me) , believe me i'm trying and I appreciate everyones help, I wish I would listen and be strong, I don't know what's wrong with me. imsad

The worst thing is, when I feel like I have no control and I feel angry and frustrated, I start blaming Allah (swt) Allah forgive me. I know it's really bad, I promise you I try not to think like that but I get so angry I can't control my thinking, I start thinking he hates me so much, he wants tme to suffer, and I strongly believe I will never ever find happiness, whn people try to help and advise me, I just think they are only saying that because they are not as depressed as me, they at least have some happiness in their lives and that they are only saying it to make me feel better. :cry:

When I pray and read Qu'ran, and i'm still angry and nothing is making me happy, I think to myself why do I pray when Im still depressed, i've given it time trust me, I have been suffering for years, it's not just this break up thats hurting me so much, there's so many things. I have lost patience, whe I think of Allah (swt) I want to think positive and believe that things will get better, but believe me when I say this, I can't control my feelings, I start thinking very stupid things in my head, how can I stop thinking Allah (swt) hates me, please please I beg you, help me someone, anyone :mad: :cry: imsad

[brother_rk]

He never felt the same as i did, i know he liked me alot at the start but i guess his feelings faded.

Salam Sister,

I think you've answered your own question here. First of all, let's all remember that only Allah Sub7ana wa Ta3ala knows what's in the hearts of people. So if someone is a kafir or not, this is for Allah and Allah alone to judge.

Consider this a lesson, Sister. Do not despair, Allah will ease your pain. Just remain patient, steadfast in your Salat, and in time your pain will decrease. I've been there and done that... it's not a nice thing to go through, but believe me, Sister, it will pass.

I remember reading somewhere that Allah puts us through trials because he wants us to turn to Him in repentence. Repent to Allah and pray for forgiveness and mercy. Keep your heart to yourself until marriage - this is the best thing to do.

Love before marriage can only lead to problems in my opinion... but I'm sure you're thinking, "Well, I can't help it, I'm already in love!"... well that's where the patience and perserverance comes into play.

Try to occupy your time with as much thikr and salat as possible. In those times when you wish to do other things, spend your time with family or friends... and remember, above all... have faith in Allah, and remain patient.

Every pain in this life is a lesson, but you have to be smart enough to realize what is being taught. Remember this.

I haven't read what the others posted, so maybe it's the same as I said. Whether it is or isn't, I wish you the best and I hope I helped in some way InshAllah.

May Allah protect you.

Salam.

[brother_rk]

I know you people will think i'm so crazy. I think being on my own is worse than being with someone who's not treating me right. I hate saying that because I don't want to think like that, but I feel so hopeless on my own, trying to do other things seems pointless, when I know at the end of the day, when I go home, I will end up thinking about him again, and I will cry on my pillow.

I've tried not to think about him, believe me i'm trying so hard, but I end up breaking again. He don't want me, I want to accept that and move on but it burns me inside. I know people say it's for the best, so why can't I accept that, i'm so angry :mad:

I don't want to like him, I don't want this need for him, but I can't control it, please believe me when I say that, I really do find it impossible to handle.

I have more important things that I should be concentrating on right now, but I feel like there is something else controlling me inside.

So many of u have replied and tried to help and advise me, and I know you must be thinking this girl will never listen, she's beyond help (and trust me I feel as though no one can help me) , believe me i'm trying and I appreciate everyones help, I wish I would listen and be strong, I don't know what's wrong with me. imsad

The worst thing is, when I feel like I have no control and I feel angry and frustrated, I start blaming Allah (swt) Allah forgive me. I know it's really bad, I promise you I try not to think like that but I get so angry I can't control my thinking, I start thinking he hates me so much, he wants tme to suffer, and I strongly believe I will never ever find happiness, whn people try to help and advise me, I just think they are only saying that because they are not as depressed as me, they at least have some happiness in their lives and that they are only saying it to make me feel better. :cry:

When I pray and read Qu'ran, and i'm still angry and nothing is making me happy, I think to myself why do I pray when Im still depressed, i've given it time trust me, I have been suffering for years, it's not just this break up thats hurting me so much, there's so many things. I have lost patience, whe I think of Allah (swt) I want to think positive and believe that things will get better, but believe me when I say this, I can't control my feelings, I start thinking very stupid things in my head, how can I stop thinking Allah (swt) hates me, please please I beg you, help me someone, anyone :mad: :cry: imsad

Salam Sister (again!),

Don't despair! Read the article below, it WILL make you feel better I promise. I got it from another forum, but I don't want to post the actual link unless the moderators say it's okay... please read it. And open your heart and mind.

Sister, this article is your solution :)

-----

MODERATORS: CAN I POST THE LINK TO THE FORUM I GOT THE ARTICLE FROM?

-----

Bismillah wal Alhamdulillah wa salaata wa salaam 'ala rasulillah,
Assalaamu 'alaikom wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh,

Allah and His Messenger sulAllahu 'alayhi wassalaam have mentioned in many ayaat and ahadeeth the virtues of patiences.

" Certainly, We shall test you with fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits; but give glad tidings to the patient - those who, when afflicted with calamity say, "Truly to Allah we belong, and truly to Him shall we return." It is those who will be awarded blessings and mercy from their Lord; and it is those who are the guided ones." [ Soorah Baqarah (2):155-157 ]

O you who believe! Seek help in patience and prayer. Truly! Allah is with the patient. And say not of those who are killed in the Cause of Allah, They are dead. Nay, they are living, but you perceive not. [Soorah al-Baqarah (2):153-154]

" And we will reward them for what they patiently endured [with] a garden [in Paradise] and Silk [garments]." [Soorah al-Insan (76):12]

Abu Hurayrah (radiallaahu 'anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) said: " Whenever Allah wills good for a person, He subjects him to adversity." [ Bukharee and others ]

Anas (radiallaahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) said: " When Allah wills good for a servant of His, He expedites his punishment in this life; and when He wills retribution for a servant of His, He holds his sins for Him to judge him by them on the Day of Resurrection. " [ Tirmithee ]

As for us who are either deficient in our patience or are not patient at all, Allah said in the Quran describing this as a quality of the disbelievers, saying:

"Indeed, mankind was created anxious: When evil touches him, impatient, And when good touches him, withholding [of it], Except the observers of prayer- Those who are constant in their prayer." [Soorah al Ma'arij (70):19-23]

We should constantly remind each other the virtue of patiences and remind each other of the blessings that Allah bestows upon the one whom He has tried.

The Messenger (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) who said: " Indeed amazing are the affairs of a believer ! They are all for his benefit; If he is granted ease of living he is thankful; and this is best for him. And if he is afflicted with a hardship, he perseveres; and this is best or him." [ Muslim ]

Abu Hurayrah (radiallaahu 'anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam) said: " Hardships continue to befall a believing man and woman's body, family, and property, until they meet Allah (swt) burdened with no sins." [ Tirmithee ]

Abu Sa'eed al-Khudree (radiallaahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) said: "A muslim is not afflicted by hardship, sickness, sadness, worry, harm, or depression - even if pricked by a thorn, but Allah expiates his sins because of that. " [ Bukharee and Muslim ]

'Aishah (radiallaahu anhu) narrated that once some pain afflicted the Prophrt (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) causing him to suffer and turn about in his bed. She said: "Had one of us done this, you would have blamed him." He (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) replied: " An ailment is intensified for the righteous. whenever a believer is afflicted by a hardship, whether it is a thorn or more, a sin is taken off from him because of it, and he is elevated by one rank ( in Jannah). " [ Ahmad ]

Imagine walking on the earth free of sin. And this is only the case with a believer. And it is from the signs of a Muslim that he or she is a Muhmin (a Believer) if they are patient when faced with a trial.

Another note that should cause a believer to rejoice even more is to the fact that a sign of Allah's love for a servant is that he puts them through a trial. And what can make a believer more content with Allahs decree than to know this is a sign that Allah loves Him! Not only do we get our sins expiated, not only is our rank elevated in Jannah, not only are we saved from having to be reconed in the day of Judgement, but we are also loved by Allah as well. The Prophet sulAllahu 'alayhi wassalaam said: Remember Allah during times of ease and He will remember you during times of hardship. [Reported by Ahmad]


It is so sad many of us look at our trials as bad times, as punishments, as a sign that Allah is displeased with us, or look at is as a curse. Some of us outwardly show hatred towards Allahs decree, or say and do things to show our disatisfaction of Allahs decree.

How does one remain firm in face of adversity?

a ) he remains firm in his heart and not feel dissatisfaction or carry ill feelings towards Allah's decree over him, such as asking himself 'why me?' or feeling upset or angery at what Allah willed of adversity for him. But rather, he should recognize this is a test from Allah and recognize that Allah only tests those whom He loves of His servants, and from there remain steadfast and patient throughout his adversity.


B ) he does not use his tongue in showing dissatisfaction with Allah's decree over him, such as complaining to others of his adveristy and speaking in discontentment about his adveristy, whether to himself or others. Rather, he should instead praise Allah and call upon him in dua' that Allah make his adveristy easy for him. He says just as Allah says in the Quran "give glad tidings to the patient - those who, when afflicted with calamity say, "Inna lilahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un (Truly to Allah we belong, and truly to Him shall we return)"" [Soorah al-Baqarah (2):156]. And instead of saying 'if only i had done such and such..' he should say "QadrAllah wa Maashaa, fa'ala - Allahhas decreed and what He wills, He does" as the Prophet sulAllahu 'alayhi wassalaam taught us in an authentic hadeeth found in Muslim [4/2052]. Or say "hasbeeAllah wa ne'mail wakeel - Allah is sufficient for me, a how fine a trustee (He is)" [Abu Dawood]. And towards others, he should speak in content regarding his adversity and remain patient.


c ) he does not use his limbs in showing dissatisfaction with Allah's decree over him, such as breaking objects or hurting himself or banging on things. He should not go in rage or allow his anger to take over him. Rather, he should suppress his anger by saying ''authubillahi minashaytaan ir rajeem' [al-Bukhari and Muslim] and withhold his limbs from acting in a sign of rage, and only use them in what will please Allah. Others might show impatiences by not stoping from certian sin(s) and thereby use their actions in commiting that sin again. So also in this case, one should use his actions in what will signal patiences and withhold his actions from commiting that sin, and inshaaAllah with that, one will perservere over their adversity.



Sometimes a servant finds that after a trial has passed him, Allah decrees another trial to befall him with this trial being even more hard on the servant. Allah continues to increase the trial and the hardship, the depression, the sorrow, the pain, whatever it maybe, Allah will increase it just as Allah's love for him will increase, just as his status and rank infront of Allah will increase, and through all this, as the servant keeps on being patient, he will only continue to become closer to Allah. A true believer shows patiences because he or she knows this trial is only increased because Allah's Messenger sulAllahu 'alayhi wassalaam has said: "The most in their suffering among the people are the prophets, then the best (of the people after them), then the (next) best. One is afflicted in accordance with his deen (faith). If his deen is firm his affliction is hard, and if his deen is weak, his affliction is light. Indeed, one would be so much subjected to adversity until he walks among the people without any sins." [ Ahmad,Tirmithee ]

Anas (radiallaahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) said: " The amount of reward is in accordance with the amount of suffering. When Allah (swt) loves some people, He tries them (with afflictions). He who then is content (with Allah's decree) has achieved the acceptance (of Allah), and he who is dissatisfied (with Allah's decree) will attain the anger (of Allah)." [ Tirmithee ]

Allah only increases the trial because Allah knows his servant's deen is firm. But if his deen is weak, then his affliction will be light. The Pious Precessors (as Salaf as Saleh) used to be happy and pleased when a trial or adversity befell them, because they knew it was a sign that Allah loves them and that their sins would be expiated through it.

Infact, we should be scared, we should be wondering, when Allah is giving us easy lives and when Allah does not place any trials upon us for sometime, we should wonder why! We should check ourselves, and see maybe Allah does not love us. We should see if theres something wrong with our deen and our obedience. If a trial is a sign of Allah's love for us and is an expiation of our sins, then what about long time intervals in which Allah does not place trials upon us? Sometimes this is not a good sign. Sometimes it is a sign Allah wants distruction for us because of our disobediences and our neglecting Allah and not seeking His forgiveness and Pleasure, and what better way is there for Allah to destroy us than to lead us into love for the dunya, and to aquiring wealth and status not for the sake of Allah. And this is how Allah destroyed the people before us.

The noble Scholar from among the Salaf (pious predecessors) Shaikh ul-Islam Sufyan ath-Thawri said concerning the ayaat where Allah says in the Quran "We Shall gradually sieze them."[Soorah Al'Araaf (7):182] , Al-Khuraybee reported that Sufyan said in explaining the verse "We shower blessings upon them, but prevent them from giving thanks." [Found in the biography of Sufyan ath Thawri: Siyar A'laamin-Nubalaa of Adh-Dhahabee (7/229-279)]

May Allah protect us from being among the people Allah prevents from giving thanks.

Always look at your trials as a blessing from Allah, look at them as an opportunity given to you by Allah to prove yourselves as a true believer. Always remind yourself that the trial is a 'Nima (Favour) from Allah and it is not a curse or punishment from Allah. Keep constant in prayer and dua' when faced with your trials.

And REMEMBER, to TRUST IN Allah, when you in the worst times, when feelings of loosing hope strikes, or feelings that there is no help coming, destroy these feelings by REMEMBERING Allah IS THE MOST HIGH THE MOST ABLE, and EVERYTHING HAPPENS BY HIS WILL AND HIS KNOWLEDGE, AND BECAUSE Allah IS THE MOST ABLE, TRUST IN Allah THAT HE WILL INDEED FIND A WAY OUT FOR YOU AND GIVE YOU BETTER THAN WHAT YOU HAD.

subhanika lahumma wa bihamdik wa ash-hadu an laa ilaaha il Allah, wa astagfiruka wa atuubu ilayk.

wassalaamu 'alaikom wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh.

[Tanya Khan]

^^ Thank you so so so much for that, it really made me think and I feel so guilty for thinking horrible things and for blaming Allah (swt) may Allah forgive me, InshahAllah. Thanks again, you will be in my Dua's, InshahAllah. :D :smile: :shade:

[brother_rk]

may Allah forgive me

May Allah forgive us all. Ameen.

All the best to you, Sister. Remember to take one day at a time, but always keep Allah (SWT) in your heart and mind.

Patience and perserverance. A good friend of mine always says, "You see, you conquer." :)

:sl:

[anonymous]

U KNOW WHA SIS.... I HAVE ONE SIMPLE LINE 2 SAY TO U..

GUYS...

R

SIMPLY

NOT

WORTH

IT

Wid dat thought in mind, sorry i may sound harsh but GET OVER IT... Trust me U will :)

[AnonymousPoster]

That is NOT good advice when you feel you've had your heart trampled on....But time WILL heal wounds though. :w:

[anonymous]

That is NOT good advice when you feel you've had your heart trampled on....But time WILL heal wounds though. :w:

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

errrr jus sayin how it is n dat

[Tanya Khan]

May Allah forgive us all. Ameen.

All the best to you, Sister. Remember to take one day at a time, but always keep Allah (SWT) in your heart and mind.

Patience and perserverance. A good friend of mine always says, "You see, you conquer." :)

:sl:

Why do I feel so depressed again this morning imsad
After reading everything you wrote I felt so much better, but I knew this would happen, I knew i'd feel like this again.

I'm thinking about him AGAIN, I feel like crying, I love him so much, I can't live without him, this is so so hard :cry: what am I going to do? I know I have to give it time, but I can't handle this, it's torture. imsad

[brother_rk]

Salam Sister,

I feel your pain! It IS difficult, that is why you have to remain patient, pray for Allah to ease your pain and to guide you, and most of all... have faith that Allah WILL come through for you!

I used to hear this in my days of heartache... In time the pain will go away! It's pathetic advise I know, because you can't do much with it - but it's the truth. In time, it will get better.

Here are some practical tips to help you get through this:

- Stay steadfast in your Salat, always making du'a for Allah's guidance and protection
- Cut off any and all contact with this guy you're feeling these things for
- Keep yourself occupied with healthy activities (i.e. rememberance of Allah, reading Quran, spending time with family, doing schoolwork or work, get involved with some community events, etc.)
- Remain patient!

Just keep reminding yourself that Allah is the Best of Planners! No matter what you're going through right now just always say Al7amdulilah! Things could easily be worse, so thank Allah for what you do have.

Take it easy on yourself, Sister. Try not to think so much! :)

Salam.

[Tanya Khan]

Salam Sister,

I feel your pain! It IS difficult, that is why you have to remain patient, pray for Allah to ease your pain and to guide you, and most of all... have faith that Allah WILL come through for you!

I used to hear this in my days of heartache... In time the pain will go away! It's pathetic advise I know, because you can't do much with it - but it's the truth. In time, it will get better.

Here are some practical tips to help you get through this:

- Stay steadfast in your Salat, always making du'a for Allah's guidance and protection
- Cut off any and all contact with this guy you're feeling these things for
- Keep yourself occupied with healthy activities (i.e. rememberance of Allah, reading Quran, spending time with family, doing schoolwork or work, get involved with some community events, etc.)
- Remain patient!

Just keep reminding yourself that Allah is the Best of Planners! No matter what you're going through right now just always say Al7amdulilah! Things could easily be worse, so thank Allah for what you do have.

Take it easy on yourself, Sister. Try not to think so much! :)

Salam.

I haven't been praying recently, but I do what I can. I do Zikr, read Allah's names on Tasbeeh and pray in my mind. I know thats not enough, i'm not very religious but I try my best to pray and read Qu'ran whenever I can. Will that make a difference? :cry: imsad

[zircon]

i wouldnt say much but am just hoping that Allah will forgive you, easen you and grant you someone better.

[brother_rk]

I haven't been praying recently, but I do what I can. I do Zikr, read Allah's names on Tasbeeh and pray in my mind. I know thats not enough, i'm not very religious but I try my best to pray and read Qu'ran whenever I can. Will that make a difference? :cry: imsad

Nothing but good can come from remembering Allah and worshipping Him, Sister. Take this trouble in your life as an opportunity to get closer to Allah - in whatever way possible. Like I said, relax, take it easy, and give it time.

Try not to be alone too much right now. Surround yourself with good people who love you (who better than family, right?) and when you are alone, spend that time with Allah (SWT) in the best ways you know how.

Keep your chin up :)

[al Amaanah]

^ good advice

[Tanya Khan]

Nothing but good can come from remembering Allah and worshipping Him, Sister. Take this trouble in your life as an opportunity to get closer to Allah - in whatever way possible. Like I said, relax, take it easy, and give it time.

Try not to be alone too much right now. Surround yourself with good people who love you (who better than family, right?) and when you are alone, spend that time with Allah (SWT) in the best ways you know how.

Keep your chin up :)

Thank you for being so helpful, I will remember you in my Dua's. Ameen. :D

[brother_rk]

Sister, this is from the Quran, Surah 94.

[5] So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:

[6] Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

[7] Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard,

[8] And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention.

Allah says TWICE that "with every difficulty there is relief"!! Allah has said this twice, reassuring us of this message. These are words of Allah Himself! Think of it, Sister! Allah Himself! Sub7an Allah! :) And Allah is the Best of Planners.

Thank you for being so helpful, I will remember you in my Dua's. Ameen. :D

And you in mine InshAllah. Keep us posted on your progress, Sister.

Salam.

[Re.TiReD]

Hy sis Tanya..read the poem is sisters section Insha'Allah..entitled 'HIM' wslama

[Snowflake]

Why do I feel so depressed again this morning imsad
After reading everything you wrote I felt so much better, but I knew this would happen, I knew i'd feel like this again.

I'm thinking about him AGAIN, I feel like crying, I love him so much, I can't live without him, this is so so hard :cry: what am I going to do? I know I have to give it time, but I can't handle this, it's torture. imsad

:sl:

I hope you don't mind me saying sis, but I think you 'love' this guy because he made you feel loved in the beginning and that's what you're craving. It's not love sis, but a need. If that need was fulfilled by someone else, you'd forget this guy in an instance. If you truly love someone, their happiness means more to you than anything else. That means letting them go if they don't want you and allowing them to find happiness with whomever they chose. If you can't live with that and give them that chance happily then what kind of love is that? Then it's a selfish need to fulfil you're own desires, not theirs.

I know it hurts when our dreams are shattered, but then again you're hurting because you're dreams are shattered not his. So you're feelings are for yourself not him.

And to be honest sis, no one is worth loving more than Allah. It is Allah who created you. He gave you the blessings of health and all your physical and mental abilities. Do you know when you wake up each morning, you're suppose to say alhumdulillah? Because Allah has revived you from a state of death. Do you know that your heart actually skips a beat when you sneeze, so you say alhumdulillah as the normal rhythm is restored again? Allah gives you enough food to survive on each day. Allah has given you countless blessings, so if anyone is worthy of love and praise, then it is He.

Anyone can read namaz - anyone can say 'I love Allah'. But until we show our love by appreciation, hope, devotion, gratefulness, worship and acceptance of His Will, we are only feeling an imaginary love.

You cry for a mere mortal, who has given you nothing but pain, but do you cry in remembering how much Allah has blessed you with? Have you cried and shook with fear in asking for His forgiveness for all the sins you've comitted? You keep saying Allah hates you and this and that while ignoring His blessings and constant chances for repentance. But you cry for this guy who gave you nothing but heartache? Allah isn't to blame for the situation you're in. Allah didn't say have a relationship before marriage. It was your choice and you can't blame Allah for decisions that were entirely yours.

You need to give yourself some self-respect sis. Who is worth crying for? A kaffir, who doesn't give a darn about you or Allah who doesn't let you down when you turn to Him? That guy doesn't care for you. He doesn't want you. He is NOT worth crying for. Learn to love yourself and those who love YOU. Don't put yourself down for those who don't. You're worthy of being loved and those who don't love aren't worthy of yours. Why should they be? Why should they deserve it? Hasn't your love got any value in your own eyes? Reserve it for who loves you. Don't humiliate such a precious emotion for them. Tell yourself over & over that you'll only love someone who loves you. Anyone else simply isn't worthy of it. Wake up sis, stop letting some loser break you. Be strong, love yourself, value your feelings and yourself as a person worthy of much more.


Love Allah - not pray without feelings. Love Him truly so much that you feel you want every cell in your body to disintergrate in His rememberance. When you learn to love Allah truly, He will make others love you.

I might've sounded harsh, but previous tactics have failed. I mean well and want what's best for you. I do not see you as a stranger, but with the same feeling as I have for my close friends, i.e. I care. And yes, sometimes I do get harsh with them when they continually refuse to see sense and keep making their own lives a misery then blaming Allah. Na udhu billah! I hope you didn't mind. But I'm not going to apologise for trying to make you see sense. :p haha


Take care and if you need to talk, even on the phone, you're more than welcome to.

(hugs)

ur sis.

:w:

[fazeem]

I know I will sound really bad for going out with this guy (or any guy for that matter) but I need to get this off my chest, I need your help and advice, i'm suffering so much.

I'm a Sunni female and he is an Ahmedi, I know it's really bad but I only found about him being Ahmedi after I got too attached to him, people have told me to keep away as Ahmedi's are known as kafir and they are no good. But i always found it hard as i'd fallen head over heals for him.

I split up with him about a month ago and its been torture for me, I can't seem to move on, I know it's for the best but why can't I accept that it's over and just move on. He never felt the same as i did, i know he liked me alot at the start but i guess his feelings faded. I cant handle the pain of rejection and the pain of him leaving me.

Im finding this soooooooo hard, there's no words to describe this pain. i start crying for him for the silliest reasons, like when i hear a song on the radio, or i go to a place where me n him went... anything and everything reminds me of him and i cant get away from it. I cry myself to sleep at night thinkin about the times we spent together, and my heart breaks into a millions pieces when i think about how he's moved on & forgotten about me so easily.

My heart is not in peace, i need some kind of peace, i have been praying namaz and doing dua in my mind to feel peace, but things r just getting worse and worse and im crying all the time. i dont know wot to do!!!! I have no self control. Im a total mess. Please help. :cry:

salaam sister problems oquer for humans but in ur case inshaallaha in da near future u will be satisfied same thing happend to one of my cousins nw shes happier than no one else inshaallaha ask guidance from Allaha we also mke dua for u

[anonymous]

:( aww sis this is really gettin 2 ya isnt it? hmmm i didnt realise how much dis guy meant 2 ya wen i wrote my oda post (guys r not worth it 1), hmmm theres not much i can advise u really... hmm r u still in contact wid this lad? how old r ya sis if u dnt mind me askin? :)

[Tanya Khan]

:( aww sis this is really gettin 2 ya isnt it? hmmm i didnt realise how much dis guy meant 2 ya wen i wrote my oda post (guys r not worth it 1), hmmm theres not much i can advise u really... hmm r u still in contact wid this lad? how old r ya sis if u dnt mind me askin? :)

I'm old enough to know better (27) :embarrass
I'm in contact with him, kind of. I think I would be worse than what I am now if I didn't have any contact with him, and slowly slowly i'm losing that contact with him, thats why i feel worse. imsad

[Tanya Khan]

salaam sister problems oquer for humans but in ur case inshaallaha in da near future u will be satisfied same thing happend to one of my cousins nw shes happier than no one else inshaallaha ask guidance from Allaha we also mke dua for u

I've given up hope. I will never be happy. imsad

[Tanya Khan]

My weekend was an absolute nightmare
I know you'll think i'm really stupid for doing this, but I broke down AGAIN in the wkend and I ended up calling him. I'm so angry at myself for doing that.

I witheld my number as I know he wouldn't have answered if I called with my number. We were talking ok and we arranged to meet so we could 'talk' Sunday night.

I was so looking forward to seeing him, it was like seeing him would have made me the happiest girl in the world (how sad).

But... just as I thought, it was too good to be true, when I called him yesterday to meet him, his phones were switched off (surprise surprise) I was so angry and frustrated, I wanted to kill him!!! He was probably with another girl and didn't want to be disturbed. He plays games with me and leads me on and I still can't leave him alone!

I know you'll think it's my own fault for calling him, but the girls I was out with wouldn't stop going on about their boyfriends and how happy they were, it was killing me because I was the only one sitting there all miserable, I wanted to scream and tell them to shut up but I obviously couldn't.

I couldn't take it no more it was so hard, I felt so lonely in that crowd. I ran to the toilet and started crying, then I called him, but he didn't know I was crying. I can't take this anymore, I HATE 'TIME' IT IS NO HEALER NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS!!! I think about him more and I cry more as the days go by!!!!!!!!!! :mad: :cry: imsad

[Tanya Khan]

:sl:

I hope you don't mind me saying sis, but I think you 'love' this guy because he made you feel loved in the beginning and that's what you're craving. It's not love sis, but a need. If that need was fulfilled by someone else, you'd forget this guy in an instance. If you truly love someone, their happiness means more to you than anything else. That means letting them go if they don't want you and allowing them to find happiness with whomever they chose. If you can't live with that and give them that chance happily then what kind of love is that? Then it's a selfish need to fulfil you're own desires, not theirs.

I know it hurts when our dreams are shattered, but then again you're hurting because you're dreams are shattered not his. So you're feelings are for yourself not him.

And to be honest sis, no one is worth loving more than Allah. It is Allah who created you. He gave you the blessings of health and all your physical and mental abilities. Do you know when you wake up each morning, you're suppose to say alhumdulillah? Because Allah has revived you from a state of death. Do you know that your heart actually skips a beat when you sneeze, so you say alhumdulillah as the normal rhythm is restored again? Allah gives you enough food to survive on each day. Allah has given you countless blessings, so if anyone is worthy of love and praise, then it is He.

Anyone can read namaz - anyone can say 'I love Allah'. But until we show our love by appreciation, hope, devotion, gratefulness, worship and acceptance of His Will, we are only feeling an imaginary love.

You cry for a mere mortal, who has given you nothing but pain, but do you cry in remembering how much Allah has blessed you with? Have you cried and shook with fear in asking for His forgiveness for all the sins you've comitted? You keep saying Allah hates you and this and that while ignoring His blessings and constant chances for repentance. But you cry for this guy who gave you nothing but heartache? Allah isn't to blame for the situation you're in. Allah didn't say have a relationship before marriage. It was your choice and you can't blame Allah for decisions that were entirely yours.

You need to give yourself some self-respect sis. Who is worth crying for? A kaffir, who doesn't give a darn about you or Allah who doesn't let you down when you turn to Him? That guy doesn't care for you. He doesn't want you. He is NOT worth crying for. Learn to love yourself and those who love YOU. Don't put yourself down for those who don't. You're worthy of being loved and those who don't love aren't worthy of yours. Why should they be? Why should they deserve it? Hasn't your love got any value in your own eyes? Reserve it for who loves you. Don't humiliate such a precious emotion for them. Tell yourself over & over that you'll only love someone who loves you. Anyone else simply isn't worthy of it. Wake up sis, stop letting some loser break you. Be strong, love yourself, value your feelings and yourself as a person worthy of much more.


Love Allah - not pray without feelings. Love Him truly so much that you feel you want every cell in your body to disintergrate in His rememberance. When you learn to love Allah truly, He will make others love you.

I might've sounded harsh, but previous tactics have failed. I mean well and want what's best for you. I do not see you as a stranger, but with the same feeling as I have for my close friends, i.e. I care. And yes, sometimes I do get harsh with them when they continually refuse to see sense and keep making their own lives a misery then blaming Allah. Na udhu billah! I hope you didn't mind. But I'm not going to apologise for trying to make you see sense. :p haha


Take care and if you need to talk, even on the phone, you're more than welcome to.

(hugs)

ur sis.

:w:

I don't blame you for saying it in this way, I am beyond help. imsad

[Tanya Khan]

Salam Sister (again!),

Don't despair! Read the article below, it WILL make you feel better I promise. I got it from another forum, but I don't want to post the actual link unless the moderators say it's okay... please read it. And open your heart and mind.

Sister, this article is your solution :)

-----

MODERATORS: CAN I POST THE LINK TO THE FORUM I GOT THE ARTICLE FROM?

-----

Bismillah wal Alhamdulillah wa salaata wa salaam 'ala rasulillah,
Assalaamu 'alaikom wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh,

Allah and His Messenger sulAllahu 'alayhi wassalaam have mentioned in many ayaat and ahadeeth the virtues of patiences.

" Certainly, We shall test you with fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits; but give glad tidings to the patient - those who, when afflicted with calamity say, "Truly to Allah we belong, and truly to Him shall we return." It is those who will be awarded blessings and mercy from their Lord; and it is those who are the guided ones." [ Soorah Baqarah (2):155-157 ]

O you who believe! Seek help in patience and prayer. Truly! Allah is with the patient. And say not of those who are killed in the Cause of Allah, They are dead. Nay, they are living, but you perceive not. [Soorah al-Baqarah (2):153-154]

" And we will reward them for what they patiently endured [with] a garden [in Paradise] and Silk [garments]." [Soorah al-Insan (76):12]

Abu Hurayrah (radiallaahu 'anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) said: " Whenever Allah wills good for a person, He subjects him to adversity." [ Bukharee and others ]

Anas (radiallaahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) said: " When Allah wills good for a servant of His, He expedites his punishment in this life; and when He wills retribution for a servant of His, He holds his sins for Him to judge him by them on the Day of Resurrection. " [ Tirmithee ]

As for us who are either deficient in our patience or are not patient at all, Allah said in the Quran describing this as a quality of the disbelievers, saying:

"Indeed, mankind was created anxious: When evil touches him, impatient, And when good touches him, withholding [of it], Except the observers of prayer- Those who are constant in their prayer." [Soorah al Ma'arij (70):19-23]

We should constantly remind each other the virtue of patiences and remind each other of the blessings that Allah bestows upon the one whom He has tried.

The Messenger (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) who said: " Indeed amazing are the affairs of a believer ! They are all for his benefit; If he is granted ease of living he is thankful; and this is best for him. And if he is afflicted with a hardship, he perseveres; and this is best or him." [ Muslim ]

Abu Hurayrah (radiallaahu 'anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam) said: " Hardships continue to befall a believing man and woman's body, family, and property, until they meet Allah (swt) burdened with no sins." [ Tirmithee ]

Abu Sa'eed al-Khudree (radiallaahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) said: "A muslim is not afflicted by hardship, sickness, sadness, worry, harm, or depression - even if pricked by a thorn, but Allah expiates his sins because of that. " [ Bukharee and Muslim ]

'Aishah (radiallaahu anhu) narrated that once some pain afflicted the Prophrt (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) causing him to suffer and turn about in his bed. She said: "Had one of us done this, you would have blamed him." He (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) replied: " An ailment is intensified for the righteous. whenever a believer is afflicted by a hardship, whether it is a thorn or more, a sin is taken off from him because of it, and he is elevated by one rank ( in Jannah). " [ Ahmad ]

Imagine walking on the earth free of sin. And this is only the case with a believer. And it is from the signs of a Muslim that he or she is a Muhmin (a Believer) if they are patient when faced with a trial.

Another note that should cause a believer to rejoice even more is to the fact that a sign of Allah's love for a servant is that he puts them through a trial. And what can make a believer more content with Allahs decree than to know this is a sign that Allah loves Him! Not only do we get our sins expiated, not only is our rank elevated in Jannah, not only are we saved from having to be reconed in the day of Judgement, but we are also loved by Allah as well. The Prophet sulAllahu 'alayhi wassalaam said: Remember Allah during times of ease and He will remember you during times of hardship. [Reported by Ahmad]


It is so sad many of us look at our trials as bad times, as punishments, as a sign that Allah is displeased with us, or look at is as a curse. Some of us outwardly show hatred towards Allahs decree, or say and do things to show our disatisfaction of Allahs decree.

How does one remain firm in face of adversity?

a ) he remains firm in his heart and not feel dissatisfaction or carry ill feelings towards Allah's decree over him, such as asking himself 'why me?' or feeling upset or angery at what Allah willed of adversity for him. But rather, he should recognize this is a test from Allah and recognize that Allah only tests those whom He loves of His servants, and from there remain steadfast and patient throughout his adversity.


B ) he does not use his tongue in showing dissatisfaction with Allah's decree over him, such as complaining to others of his adveristy and speaking in discontentment about his adveristy, whether to himself or others. Rather, he should instead praise Allah and call upon him in dua' that Allah make his adveristy easy for him. He says just as Allah says in the Quran "give glad tidings to the patient - those who, when afflicted with calamity say, "Inna lilahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un (Truly to Allah we belong, and truly to Him shall we return)"" [Soorah al-Baqarah (2):156]. And instead of saying 'if only i had done such and such..' he should say "QadrAllah wa Maashaa, fa'ala - Allahhas decreed and what He wills, He does" as the Prophet sulAllahu 'alayhi wassalaam taught us in an authentic hadeeth found in Muslim [4/2052]. Or say "hasbeeAllah wa ne'mail wakeel - Allah is sufficient for me, a how fine a trustee (He is)" [Abu Dawood]. And towards others, he should speak in content regarding his adversity and remain patient.


c ) he does not use his limbs in showing dissatisfaction with Allah's decree over him, such as breaking objects or hurting himself or banging on things. He should not go in rage or allow his anger to take over him. Rather, he should suppress his anger by saying ''authubillahi minashaytaan ir rajeem' [al-Bukhari and Muslim] and withhold his limbs from acting in a sign of rage, and only use them in what will please Allah. Others might show impatiences by not stoping from certian sin(s) and thereby use their actions in commiting that sin again. So also in this case, one should use his actions in what will signal patiences and withhold his actions from commiting that sin, and inshaaAllah with that, one will perservere over their adversity.



Sometimes a servant finds that after a trial has passed him, Allah decrees another trial to befall him with this trial being even more hard on the servant. Allah continues to increase the trial and the hardship, the depression, the sorrow, the pain, whatever it maybe, Allah will increase it just as Allah's love for him will increase, just as his status and rank infront of Allah will increase, and through all this, as the servant keeps on being patient, he will only continue to become closer to Allah. A true believer shows patiences because he or she knows this trial is only increased because Allah's Messenger sulAllahu 'alayhi wassalaam has said: "The most in their suffering among the people are the prophets, then the best (of the people after them), then the (next) best. One is afflicted in accordance with his deen (faith). If his deen is firm his affliction is hard, and if his deen is weak, his affliction is light. Indeed, one would be so much subjected to adversity until he walks among the people without any sins." [ Ahmad,Tirmithee ]

Anas (radiallaahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) said: " The amount of reward is in accordance with the amount of suffering. When Allah (swt) loves some people, He tries them (with afflictions). He who then is content (with Allah's decree) has achieved the acceptance (of Allah), and he who is dissatisfied (with Allah's decree) will attain the anger (of Allah)." [ Tirmithee ]

Allah only increases the trial because Allah knows his servant's deen is firm. But if his deen is weak, then his affliction will be light. The Pious Precessors (as Salaf as Saleh) used to be happy and pleased when a trial or adversity befell them, because they knew it was a sign that Allah loves them and that their sins would be expiated through it.

Infact, we should be scared, we should be wondering, when Allah is giving us easy lives and when Allah does not place any trials upon us for sometime, we should wonder why! We should check ourselves, and see maybe Allah does not love us. We should see if theres something wrong with our deen and our obedience. If a trial is a sign of Allah's love for us and is an expiation of our sins, then what about long time intervals in which Allah does not place trials upon us? Sometimes this is not a good sign. Sometimes it is a sign Allah wants distruction for us because of our disobediences and our neglecting Allah and not seeking His forgiveness and Pleasure, and what better way is there for Allah to destroy us than to lead us into love for the dunya, and to aquiring wealth and status not for the sake of Allah. And this is how Allah destroyed the people before us.

The noble Scholar from among the Salaf (pious predecessors) Shaikh ul-Islam Sufyan ath-Thawri said concerning the ayaat where Allah says in the Quran "We Shall gradually sieze them."[Soorah Al'Araaf (7):182] , Al-Khuraybee reported that Sufyan said in explaining the verse "We shower blessings upon them, but prevent them from giving thanks." [Found in the biography of Sufyan ath Thawri: Siyar A'laamin-Nubalaa of Adh-Dhahabee (7/229-279)]

May Allah protect us from being among the people Allah prevents from giving thanks.

Always look at your trials as a blessing from Allah, look at them as an opportunity given to you by Allah to prove yourselves as a true believer. Always remind yourself that the trial is a 'Nima (Favour) from Allah and it is not a curse or punishment from Allah. Keep constant in prayer and dua' when faced with your trials.

And REMEMBER, to TRUST IN Allah, when you in the worst times, when feelings of loosing hope strikes, or feelings that there is no help coming, destroy these feelings by REMEMBERING Allah IS THE MOST HIGH THE MOST ABLE, and EVERYTHING HAPPENS BY HIS WILL AND HIS KNOWLEDGE, AND BECAUSE Allah IS THE MOST ABLE, TRUST IN Allah THAT HE WILL INDEED FIND A WAY OUT FOR YOU AND GIVE YOU BETTER THAN WHAT YOU HAD.

subhanika lahumma wa bihamdik wa ash-hadu an laa ilaaha il Allah, wa astagfiruka wa atuubu ilayk.

wassalaamu 'alaikom wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh.

If you don't mind me asking, which website did you get this from?

[Snowflake]

salam Tanya sis,

Despite you totally ignoring my efforts to help you, I still find it in me to summon up the will to reply to you again. I didn't want your praise, the most I hoped for was for you to say that you will try acting on what I said.

But... just as I thought, it was too good to be true, when I called him yesterday to meet him, his phones were switched off (surprise surprise) I was so angry and frustrated, I wanted to kill him!!! He was probably with another girl and didn't want to be disturbed. He plays games with me and leads me on and I still can't leave him alone!

You can't leave him alone because you have no respect for yourself. That's the truth -whether you like it or not. The guy is clearly avoiding you like the plague and you continue to lower yourself in his eyes by chasing him at every opportunity. When he does tlak to you, don't fool yourself into thinking he still wants you, he's obviously just trying to soften the blow but inside hoping that you'd vanish into thin air. Nothing can make a guy disrespect and detest a girl who acts like the woman in Fatal Attraction. All you're doing is disrespecting yourself? Have you no self-worth? Are you worthy of so much disrespect from yourself and others? Blimey!

I know you'll think it's my own fault for calling him, but the girls I was out with wouldn't stop going on about their boyfriends

If that's the kind of company you keep then it's no wonder you have trouble doing what is right. We've told you time & time again it's haram to meet this man, yet you still 'fix' times to meet him. Then you say Allah hates you blah blah blah.. well what do you expect - that he should love you for being such a disobedient muslimah? Girl, you've got no one blame for yourself for the mess you're in.

I HATE 'TIME' IT IS NO HEALER NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS!!

I don't know why you're blaming time - when you're the one who is wasting it?! As long as you don't take advantage of time's precious value, you'll gain nothing beneficial to help you on the Day of Reckoning. Benefits of time come to those who respect it - not waste it persuing haram and useless desires.

As for me, there's nothing more I can say or do to change your thinking. It's not because I don't have the patience, but because I can tell that some people only learn with time - and learn the hard way. I sincerely hope that you don't learn the hard way. I leave it to Allah to give you hidayah. InshaAllah.


wa alaikum aslam.

[Grace Seeker]

salam Tanya sis,

Despite you totally ignoring my efforts to help you, I still find it in me to summon up the will to reply to you again. I didn't want your praise, the most I hoped for was for you to say that you will try acting on what I said.


You can't leave him alone because you have no respect for yourself. That's the truth -whether you like it or not. The guy is clearly avoiding you like the plague and you continue to lower yourself in his eyes by chasing him at every opportunity. When he does tlak to you, don't fool yourself into thinking he still wants you, he's obviously just trying to soften the blow but inside hoping that you'd vanish into thin air. Nothing can make a guy disrespect and detest a girl who acts like the woman in Fatal Attraction. All you're doing is disrespecting yourself? Have you no self-worth? Are you worthy of so much disrespect from yourself and others? Blimey!


If that's the kind of company you keep then it's no wonder you have trouble doing what is right. We've told you time & time again it's haram to meet this man, yet you still 'fix' times to meet him. Then you say Allah hates you blah blah blah.. well what do you expect - that he should love you for being such a disobedient muslimah? Girl, you've got no one blame for yourself for the mess you're in.



I don't know why you're blaming time - when you're the one who is wasting it?! As long as you don't take advantage of time's precious value, you'll gain nothing beneficial to help you on the Day of Reckoning. Benefits of time come to those who respect it - not waste it persuing haram and useless desires.

As for me, there's nothing more I can say or do to change your thinking. It's not because I don't have the patience, but because I can tell that some people only learn with time - and learn the hard way. I sincerely hope that you don't learn the hard way. I leave it to Allah to give you hidayah. InshaAllah.


wa alaikum aslam.

Tanya,

I know that what Muslim Sis has written to you will be hard, very hard to hear. It is not what you want to hear, because it is not the result you want in your life. But, if you are miserable, and want to change those feelings, you are going to have to change the behaviors which produce those feelings. For you, they are produced by the constant yearning for that which you cannot have. That is painful. I have been there. Probably we are all there at one time or another in life. But the only way to get through it is to go through it, we can't circumvent it and go around it, we will only run into the pain another way if we do.

What Muslim Sis has suggested is a way for you to get through this. It will not be easy. You will cry some more. But, if you follow her advice, one day you will wake up on the other side of this with all of the pain behind, and perhaps even a few pleasant memories. As it is now, you have none of the joy of the past in your life, each memory that might some day be a welcomed reminder instead is like sticking a knife in a wound. Now which of those you live with is up for you to decide. If you want your memories to be pleasant rather than raw emotion, I suggest you take a second dispassionate look at what Muslim Sis has shared with you. She is trying to lead you through a very difficult path in your life, one on which many people stumble. But she has provided a true path.

Listen to her. She has helped you more than you can realize at the present time.

May you find peace, sister.

[Tanya Khan]

Tanya,

I know that what Muslim Sis has written to you will be hard, very hard to hear. It is not what you want to hear, because it is not the result you want in your life. But, if you are miserable, and want to change those feelings, you are going to have to change the behaviors which produce those feelings. For you, they are produced by the constant yearning for that which you cannot have. That is painful. I have been there. Probably we are all there at one time or another in life. But the only way to get through it is to go through it, we can't circumvent it and go around it, we will only run into the pain another way if we do.

What Muslim Sis has suggested is a way for you to get through this. It will not be easy. You will cry some more. But, if you follow her advice, one day you will wake up on the other side of this with all of the pain behind, and perhaps even a few pleasant memories. As it is now, you have none of the joy of the past in your life, each memory that might some day be a welcomed reminder instead is like sticking a knife in a wound. Now which of those you live with is up for you to decide. If you want your memories to be pleasant rather than raw emotion, I suggest you take a second dispassionate look at what Muslim Sis has shared with you. She is trying to lead you through a very difficult path in your life, one on which many people stumble. But she has provided a true path.

Listen to her. She has helped you more than you can realize at the present time.

May you find peace, sister.

How can I explain to you how this guy makes me feel, I DO NOT want this 'need for him, I can't control it, I love him more than myself, I wish I didn't. imsad :cry:

This is not the only thing that is making me depressed, I have problems left, right and centre, but yes, I do feel this guy has taken over my life and that he is controlling my emotions, he is on top of all my other problems. I have been depressed for almost half my life, out of 100% i've had about 5% happiness in my life, the other 95% has been tears, pain, grief and plenty of heartache.

It doesn't go and it won't go, I can remember friends telling me things will get better, this was about 11 years ago, through these past 11 years I have been very very depressed, that's why I feel theres no hope, how long can someone hope that things will get better? How much patience can a person have? I have been hearing the same thing time and time again...

'don't worry be patient you will find happiness,'

'Keep praying, your Dua's are being heard...'

'Give it time, time is a healer'

'Don't worry, this is only a test, you have to be strong, you'll get through this,'


But honestly, how much can someone wait???? :cry:

That's why I feel the way I do, there is no light at the end of the tunnel, no one understands, I feel weak, tired and fed up, I have no energy to pray anymore because I can't see any happiness coming my way.

Tell me people, how patient can I be? 11 years of pain, heartache, no love from my family, even when I was a child, like 3/4/5 years old and onwards I watched my mum getting beaten by my dad every single day, maybe seeing and going through all the violence in the house and the way i've been brought up has made me this way, I dont know imsad


Every guy I have been with, I have fallen for very deeply, maybe I desperately need the love I never got from my family. I crave to be loved by someone I feel the same love for. There is a guy who is crazy about me, he would do anything for me, but I don't feel the same for him, I have tried, but I can't love him.

I don't know why I love someone who doesn't care about me, I just do not know, i'm so confused and tired. I get migraines and severe headaches everyday because all I do is think, think and think in my head about my life.
I don't know how to take all this advice, I don't know what's wrong with me imsad :cry: i'm going mad, my head will blow up any minute with all these crazy thoughts.... :cry:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:salamext:

one thing sis, time aint the healer, Allah subhana wat'ala does that :)

[tomtomsmom]

Tanya Khan have you checked your private messages?

[Grace Seeker]

How can I explain to you how this guy makes me feel, I DO NOT want this 'need for him, I can't control it, I love him more than myself, I wish I didn't. imsad :cry:

I'm sorry if you thought I was minimizing your pain. I understand that it is very real. And the feelings are not something you can simply wish away. They are there; they are real; and they have been a part of you for a very long time.

You did say something in your post to me that just might, I emphasize might be a very important piece of self insight:

Every guy I have been with, I have fallen for very deeply, maybe I desperately need the love I never got from my family. I crave to be loved by someone I feel the same love for....
...I don't know why I love someone who doesn't care about me, I just do not know, i'm so confused and tired.

I doubt if any of us here can help you take a closer look at this, but perhaps a good counselor or therapist could help you with this in ways that we can't. If you've been dealing with depression a long time, you've probably seen some people. While they can't help us solve everything, they might be able to help you more at this point in your life than they have been able to in the past, as you seem to be gaining some insight into yourself which should help them help you.

[Tanya Khan]

Tanya Khan have you checked your private messages?

Yeah I did, thank you for telling me your story. Sorry to hear about all that, you have been through alot, i'm glad you got over him in the end.

I will be on msn later, I will talk to you then, Take care.
Allah Hafiz.

[nelly]

it just takes time 4 the heart 2 heal. I lost my husband 2 years ago but that was because he died. i thought i wud never get over that but as time goes on it does get beta. You will luk bak in a few months time and wonder wot all the fuss was about!

[Tanya Khan]

it just takes time 4 the heart 2 heal. I lost my husband 2 years ago but that was because he died. i thought i wud never get over that but as time goes on it does get beta. You will luk bak in a few months time and wonder wot all the fuss was about!

Sorry to hear about your husband sis. Hope things are better for you. InshahAllah. xxx

[Tanya Khan]

Oh no i'm back to square one, I feel so awful :cry:
I keep crying every single day and night. I keep thinking I will remember him less as the days go by but I keep breaking down and i'm thinking of him more than ever :cry:

I keep losing hope and faith in Allah (swt) I can't bear this. I know you must all think I keep saying the same things and your all probably sick of me by now, but please understand it's not easy getting over someone.

I don't know how much more time I can give it, I can't see the light at end of the tunnel. :cry: I'm so so angry and fed up of trying my best and then breaking down again.

I want to make myself believe things will get better, but deep down I know they won't as i've been hearing the same thing for years and things never did get better. :cry: imsad :mad:

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


sis, try checking this out insha'Allaah:

http://www.islamicboard.com/health-s...rt-broken.html


You might understand where you are in relation to that insha'Allaah.

[Tanya Khan]

:salamext:


sis, try checking this out insha'Allaah:

http://www.islamicboard.com/health-s...rt-broken.html


You might understand where you are in relation to that insha'Allaah.

Thanks for sharing that, I just had a long read was very very interesting. I still feel miserable though, there's nothing I can do to stop feeling hopeless :cry: :cry:

[Snowflake]

Tanya,

I know that what Muslim Sis has written to you will be hard, very hard to hear.

What Muslim Sis has suggested is a way for you to get through this. If you want your memories to be pleasant rather than raw emotion, I suggest you take a second dispassionate look at what Muslim Sis has shared with you. She is trying to lead you through a very difficult path in your life, one on which many people stumble. But she has provided a true path.

Listen to her. She has helped you more than you can realize at the present time.

May you find peace, sister.

Peace and greetings Grace Seeker

Thank you for your understanding & supportive post.

It is hard to take on something said in the manner that I did. But if one can then it's for their own benefit. I've known many people who've made mistakes in life (including myself) and there comes a time when we wish we'd listened to the one's who had been advising us against something. At the time one thinks that no one understands you, or has no sympathy for how you feel, but it's only after getting into a mess that we realise they had only wanted to protect us - and then we wished we had listened.

I want to share something that my son said, for the benefit of all those facing testing times...

Like most 8 year olds, my son loves his x-box and loves the challenge of winning the games. The other night he asked me if this life is a dream. I said, life is like a dream because that's how we will feel about it on the Day of Judgement. He was quiet for a while.. thinking perhaps... before he said that life is like a game and we have to beat the devil and the bad things. :cry:

SubhanAllah! I was amazed at such wisdom from an 8 year old and so, so proud of him. That's why I feel that if more adults viewed life from that perception, it would somehow make it easier for them to fight their demons.

Tanya sis, I hope you take this on board and pass the tests of life with flying colours. I wish you the best.

[Khalisah]

:sl: sis muslimah, soundz like ur doing a fantastic job as a mother! mashaAllah..
sis Tanya... inshaAllah I hope it works out for you, and that Allah guides you and grants you patience.. sorry I dont have any good advice.. not very good at this type of thing.. acutaully I'm not that good at all
Take care

[aLiTTLeTiMe]

I dont say any advice.I just say insaallah you will be so happy..

[Tanya Khan]

How will I ever find happiness after this treacherous heartbreak?
I'm being told time and time again 'things will get better 'time will heal''it's a test", but when or should I say 'if' I get through this test, I will have another test waiting for me, so really and truely the pain never ends, can someone give me an answer to that?

[Muslim Knight]

I'm depressed too over things. Suffice to say I had just gone through one of the worst crises in my life. Two things have helped me cope;

1. Prayer. Something you cannot dispense with. God is always there.

2. Constant reminder that there always people with much worse fate. Whenever I feel like I am about to break I always remind myself there are those somewhere in parts of the world who can't even find a crumb of food to eat, a loincloth piece to wear or even trees just to serve as rooftoops over their heads. But I still have rice, t-shirts, a car even, and internet access.

3. How bad can it be? I've suffered enough heartbreaks before, but I still live and I know people who love me, care for me. Most importantly, I have people who are willing to lend me shoulders to cry on. And I haven't found just the moment to do that. But I still live. Life goes on. A heartbreak cannot starve me to death.

You're lucky still to have friends here in LI to talk to. Just convince yourself that you'll make this one through.

[Islam_sister]

ASALAAM ALAYKUM SISTER!

Sister.. Just try your hardest pls to get over him find something to do. Join a sport club or join some muslim committies, anything that can help you get throuhg what you are goin through. And you were saying that you do not have a good education. As tomtomsmom said go back to school get a good education. then find a good job sister.. I am so sorry about what is going on in your life sister. I hate to hear when my muslim sisters heart pain cause no lie my heart starts to pain me. Soo sister I pray that your heart soon be at ease. But you dont need all that pain on you.. Just keep praying to ALLAH. never give up hun. ALLAH is always there listening. I will even make dua for you sister to get better. *Don't Give Up Hun*


Ma SALAAMA
ALLAH HAFIZ
KHUDA HAIFZ

[Tanya Khan]

ASALAAM ALAYKUM SISTER!

Sister.. Just try your hardest pls to get over him find something to do. Join a sport club or join some muslim committies, anything that can help you get throuhg what you are goin through. And you were saying that you do not have a good education. As tomtomsmom said go back to school get a good education. then find a good job sister.. I am so sorry about what is going on in your life sister. I hate to hear when my muslim sisters heart pain cause no lie my heart starts to pain me. Soo sister I pray that your heart soon be at ease. But you dont need all that pain on you.. Just keep praying to ALLAH. never give up hun. ALLAH is always there listening. I will even make dua for you sister to get better. *Don't Give Up Hun*


Ma SALAAMA
ALLAH HAFIZ
KHUDA HAIFZ

Aw thank you so much for doing Dua for me :cry:

Please everyone, please pray I get through this and find happiness, please I have no hope. :cry:

[------]

:sl:

Never lose hope in Allah swt sis, Allah swt is so great, we just cannot imagine. I probably cant relate to what you are going through, but just remember sis;

On no soul does Allah Place a burden greater than it can bear.
[Qur'an, 2:286]

May Allah swt help u with your difficulties. Ameen.

:w:

[Tanya Khan]

I prayed Isha namaz last night and Fajar namaz this morning, I felt so much peace inside, Alhumdolilah.

But one thing that won't let me rest is why he hasn't called me since I last saw him, I know I shouldn't be worried about that, but I'm going crazy thinking allsorts in my head wondering stupid things like what it is about me he doesn't like, what put him off me.

I know you must think i've gone mental, but I can't rest my heart I don't know what to do, I've never ever been this depressed in my entire life, not this much. The feeling of being madly in love with someone who stopped returning my calls and totally started ignoring me for no reason, it's making me go mental, if he called me just once it would put my mind at rest and i'd be so happy, just one call :cry:

I keep thinking what have I done to make him hurt me like this, I think he's found someone better looking and he thought I was ugly. I feel suicidal not knowing what it is that made him stop calling, the thought of him simply losing interest in me is killing me, why can't I just leave it and be in peace, i'm so so so hard but I don't know what to do anymore, there is no way out of this, only he can make me feel peace by calling me, just one call from him would make me so happy.

How can I let it go not knowing why he stopped calling me, this is pure misery and torture. I've lost interest in life, I can't do anything in peace, this is the hardest test i've ever had to face in my life :raging: :cry: how can I stop thinking about it, how on earth do I rest my mind??? :cry:
I can't even call him because he ignores my calls and that frustrates me even more. I try to stay busy at work and keep occupied, but I end up thinking about it again :cry: How will I ever rest my mind??? It's impossible!!!

[Ayesha Rana]

Lemme tell u sumthin sis. STOP craving for that bro k? If u want Allahs help u gotta turn to Him n dat guy cant help. And another thing, when Allah wishes to favour a servant of His, He tests him with difficulties so that i may reward Him. So why dont u turn to Allah and put this guy behind you because anything is possible for Allah and you have to pray to Him and believe that.

[Tanya Khan]

Lemme tell u sumthin sis. STOP craving for that bro k? If u want Allahs help u gotta turn to Him n dat guy cant help. And another thing, when Allah wishes to favour a servant of His, He tests him with difficulties so that i may reward Him. So why dont u turn to Allah and put this guy behind you because anything is possible for Allah and you have to pray to Him and believe that.

But I can't rest my mind i'm going crazy wondering what he's thinking and why he ignores me, how do I put my mind at rest besides praying? :cry:

[nelly]

i really think u r overeactin over this guy>Ur makin him sound like he's the last man on earth. Come on sis, let it go, ur not the only person in life that has been hurt, We all hav been hurt at 1 time in our life but we dnt commit suicide.U hav really low self esteem 2 think ur lucky 2 be wiv him. HJe's probably lucky 2 hav been wiv u and ! day inshallah trust me u will find sum1 beta and sum1 thats luvs u coz he obviously doesnt.

[Tanya Khan]

It's so difficult to control my mind sis, can't explain this misery in my head. :raging: :enough!:

He walked out on me not really offering me an explanation....just left me to figure it out for myself. Its cruel and heartless!!

He's just moved on without an explanation or a thought towards me, leaving me with questions only HE can answer, yet he chooses not to. :cry:

This will hang over me for a very long time, i'll always be thinking...

what did I do?
what put him off me?
did he find someone much better than me?
what is it about me he doesn't like?

I hate this so much, I can't stop thinking and thinking my head is gona blow up with all these questions!!!

[nelly]

Ive had this happen 2 me at 1 time, maybe ur cumin on 2 strong, maybe he doesnt luv u as much mas u luv him. Sometimes its hard 2 think why but u just hav 2 except it. I husband was murdered 2 years ago and ive had 2 deal wiv it.

[IceQueen~]

sis tanya I thought you said you broke up with him...?

forget him! firstly the whole thing wasn't Islamic and anyway he's not worth hooning over! ur not in his life- get him out of yours! he doesn't deserve being upset and love sick over honey! and yes Pray to Allah to heal your heart and read Quran for comfort

[IceQueen~]

hey listen to some awlaki lectures while ur browsing the forum-its cool masha allah he has a lot of knowledge- it'll get ur mind off things

[nelly]

i wana no wot ahmedi is also!
Im sure its wen people believe in a nother man bein the last prophet otsumthin along those terms

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


It's a group who claim to be muslims and say there's another prophet after the Messenger of Allaah, Muhammad (peace be upon him.) Even though Allaah says in the Qur'an:

Muhammad is not the father of any of your men, but (he is) the Messenger of Allah, and the Seal [Last] of the Prophets: and Allah has full knowledge of all things. [Qur'an 33:40]

[nelly]

so why do these people believe in sumthin else wen it is clearly staed in the quran, it doesnt make sense

[muslimah_786]

:salamext:


It's a group who claim to be muslims and say there's another prophet after the Messenger of Allaah Muhammad (peace be upon him.) , Even though Allaah says in the Qur'an:

Muhammad is not the father of any of your men, but (he is) the Messenger of Allah, and the Seal [Last] of the Prophets: and Allah has full knowledge of all things. [Qur'an 33:40]

and what evidence do they have of that, i mean every1 knws that Muhammad (peace be upon him) was the last prophet so who is the 1 they beleive to be last, and where does it say that?

[- Qatada -]

:wasalamex


People, when they want to make a new group usually twist the words around. So in the translation it might say that he [Muhammad, peace be upon him] is the last of the prophets [Nabi], so they'll say that the Ahmadi man is the last Messenger. [Rasool]

Even though anyone who's a messenger of Allaah is a prophet. [Nabi] But a prophet isn't always a messenger. [Rasool]


Why? Because Messenger's of Allaah bring a new law, whereas prophets convey on the message of a previous prophet usually. And because it says in the verse that Muhammad, peace be upon him is the last Nabi [Prophet] - they purposelly take it out of context and say that the Ahmadi guy is the final Messenger [Rasool]



Even though we don't interpret the Qur'an according to the understanding of anyone except the companions of the Messenger of Allaah, Muhammad (peace be upon him.)


This is what it says in tafsir ibn kathir:

He is the Last of the Prophets


[وَلَـكِن رَّسُولَ اللَّهِ وَخَاتَمَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ بِكُلِّ شَىْءٍ عَلِيماً]


(but he is the Messenger of Allah and the last of the Prophets. And Allah is Ever All-Aware of everything.) This is like the Ayah:


[اللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ حَيْثُ يَجْعَلُ رِسَالَتَهُ]


(Allah knows best with whom to place His Message) (6:124). This Ayah clearly states that there will be no Prophet after him. If there will be no Prophet after him then there will surely be no Messenger after him either, because the status of a Messenger is higher than that of a Prophet, for every Messenger is a Prophet but the reverse is not the case. This was reported in many Mutawatir Hadiths narrated from the Messenger of Allah via a group of his Companions, may Allah be pleased with them. Imam Ahmad recorded a narration from Ubayy bin Ka`b, from his father that the Prophet said:




«مَثَلِي فِي النَّبِيِّينَ كَمَثَلِ رَجُلٍ بَنَى دَارًا فَأَحْسَنَهَا وَأَكْمَلَهَا، وَتَرَكَ فِيهَا مَوْضِعَ لَبِنَةٍ لَمْ يَضَعْهَا، فَجَعَلَ النَّاسُ يَطُوفُونَ بِالْبُنْيَانِ وَيَعْجَبُونَ مِنْهُ وَيَقُولُونَ: لَوْ تَمَّ مَوْضِعُ هَذِهِ اللَّبِنَةِ، فَأَنَا فِي النَّبِيِّينَ مَوْضِعُ تِلْكَ اللَّبِنَة»


(My parable among the Prophets is that of a man who built a house and did a good and complete job, apart from the space of one brick which he did not put in its place. The people started to walk around the building, admiring it and saying, "If only that brick were put in its place. '' Among the Prophets, I am like that brick.) It was also recorded by At-Tirmidhi, who said "Hasan Sahih.''


http://tafsir.com/default.asp?sid=33&tid=41783

Allaah Almighty knows best.

[Medina83]

So come on sisters, what should I do? :cry:

Hi Tanya..or should I say Salaam aleijkum...

I can see you are hurting desperately over this man and to an extent I am in a similar situation. I am only new Muslim of one week MashaAllah, and I am finding it very hard. Also because in October I divorced from a Muslim man but at that time I was Catholic and the different religions caused lots of damage between us. But in the months I had in the mean time, I finally got to examine Islam on my own without his pressure or interference and Jazak Allah I have seen the truth. I can't tell anyone I know because they will think I converted for him..but no i did not.

He has been helping me since, but he was conversing with an Egyptian girl and now he has decided that although he loves me, he doesn't think we are compatible. I love him soooo much, despite all the hurt we caused each other, and I trust in Allah that it would be a better marriage this time if we did get married now. But he has decided he doesn't want me anymore even though he says he loves me like no other...and this is difficult for me to accept. So I am remembering all our happy days, still reading old texts and emails from when we were good in our marriage, we were so perfect for each other when things were good between us...but its all gone now and I am trying to cope with isolation from family and friends and being alone...so I understand what ur feeling sister.

All I can say is, do your best to find someone else, because there are many good brothers out there, and I would recommend the internet sites where you put up a profile..but do it with good intention and you will see that you are a person worthy of being loved in the same way in which you love others...which is obviously with your whole heart...

I haven't read every post in this thread but I am worried about your immediate living situation, you said you might find yourself homeless..please pm me if this is a real imminent danger of this happening.

Also tell us sisters what your interests are so we can discuss options with you..no one wants to see you alone and suffering...

You are so strong sister I admire you so much for leaving him though you did not want to, and I know the pain of rejection also...but believe me, distracting yourself is the key.

[Tanya Khan]

Hi Tanya..or should I say Salaam aleijkum...

I can see you are hurting desperately over this man and to an extent I am in a similar situation. I am only new Muslim of one week MashaAllah, and I am finding it very hard. Also because in October I divorced from a Muslim man but at that time I was Catholic and the different religions caused lots of damage between us. But in the months I had in the mean time, I finally got to examine Islam on my own without his pressure or interference and Jazak Allah I have seen the truth. I can't tell anyone I know because they will think I converted for him..but no i did not.

He has been helping me since, but he was conversing with an Egyptian girl and now he has decided that although he loves me, he doesn't think we are compatible. I love him soooo much, despite all the hurt we caused each other, and I trust in Allah that it would be a better marriage this time if we did get married now. But he has decided he doesn't want me anymore even though he says he loves me like no other...and this is difficult for me to accept. So I am remembering all our happy days, still reading old texts and emails from when we were good in our marriage, we were so perfect for each other when things were good between us...but its all gone now and I am trying to cope with isolation from family and friends and being alone...so I understand what ur feeling sister.

All I can say is, do your best to find someone else, because there are many good brothers out there, and I would recommend the internet sites where you put up a profile..but do it with good intention and you will see that you are a person worthy of being loved in the same way in which you love others...which is obviously with your whole heart...

I haven't read every post in this thread but I am worried about your immediate living situation, you said you might find yourself homeless..please pm me if this is a real imminent danger of this happening.

Also tell us sisters what your interests are so we can discuss options with you..no one wants to see you alone and suffering...

You are so strong sister I admire you so much for leaving him though you did not want to, and I know the pain of rejection also...but believe me, distracting yourself is the key.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. How long did you feel like this for? Does it still hurt you?
Alhumdolilah I am ok with the homeless situation, I have found a room to rent, but I know I will be worse off there as I'll be stuck in one room all the time, I won't be wondering around the house freely like I could in my previous place.

I will be more depressed there, stuck within those 4 walls. This is the first time i'll be moving in with strangers, I was living with a friend before, so moving in with total strangers will be very difficult for me. I'm moving in 2 weeks.

I have left that guy, but i'm not strong at all, I still long for him and I cry every night. Stupidly i'd probably take him back if he wanted me. I only finished it because I felt he lost interest in me and found someone else, not because i'm strong. I don't pray very often, but I do pray as much as I can for my heart to heal, InshahAllah.

People tell me time and time again that time will heal me, but I'm not patient enough, I get very frustrated and angry and I end up thinking stupid things like, Allah will never make me happy, prayer won't make a difference because i'm being punished, this is a test which I will never pass and even if I do, there will be another test waiting for me, maybe a much worse test.

I don't like it when I start thinking like that, it's so wrong. I have faith in Allah (swt) but i'm scared that everytime I break down I lose faith.

For instance, when i'm trying to get over him, I end up having dreams about him, that i'm with him and we are laughing and joking, but when I wake up, reality hits me hard and I cry and cry, my tears and suffering seem never ending. :cry: Nothing can distract me from him, if it does then it's for no more than 5 minutes and i'm thinking about him again, wondering what i've done, why he won't call :cry:

[sister03]

salaamz!
you need to keep on praying and also pray salaatul taubah as it is a big sin to have a relation ship without having a nikaah, all i can say sis is that shaytan is ashtraying you and trying to take you back in the wrong path, may allah stay us away from bad and evil shaytaans act. Why not recite surah ya'seen every day inshallah this will help you.

[Medina83]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. How long did you feel like this for? Does it still hurt you?
Alhumdolilah I am ok with the homeless situation, I have found a room to rent, but I know I will be worse off there as I'll be stuck in one room all the time, I won't be wondering around the house freely like I could in my previous place.

I will be more depressed there, stuck within those 4 walls. This is the first time i'll be moving in with strangers, I was living with a friend before, so moving in with total strangers will be very difficult for me. I'm moving in 2 weeks.

I have left that guy, but i'm not strong at all, I still long for him and I cry every night. Stupidly i'd probably take him back if he wanted me. I only finished it because I felt he lost interest in me and found someone else, not because i'm strong. I don't pray very often, but I do pray as much as I can for my heart to heal, InshahAllah.

People tell me time and time again that time will heal me, but I'm not patient enough, I get very frustrated and angry and I end up thinking stupid things like, Allah will never make me happy, prayer won't make a difference because i'm being punished, this is a test which I will never pass and even if I do, there will be another test waiting for me, maybe a much worse test.

I don't like it when I start thinking like that, it's so wrong. I have faith in Allah (swt) but i'm scared that everytime I break down I lose faith.

For instance, when i'm trying to get over him, I end up having dreams about him, that i'm with him and we are laughing and joking, but when I wake up, reality hits me hard and I cry and cry, my tears and suffering seem never ending. :cry: Nothing can distract me from him, if it does then it's for no more than 5 minutes and i'm thinking about him again, wondering what i've done, why he won't call :cry:

I know sister I know ..

I'm the same, always checking my fone and emails to see if there's anything from him....big siiiiggghhhh

I believe Allah knows whats best for us, and I trust in Him that there is a good reason behind this, and that something better must be around the corner for me.

Possibly he is ignoring you now because he realised himself it would not be possible to make it work between you. And maybe it is painful for him to keep speaking with you..
Also if he wanted to leave you and didn't want to hurt you, that would explain why he didn't say anything, its a very difficult thing to say to someone when you know you will break their heart. It is the cowards way out but maybe you would hurt even more or be keeping a false hope (as I do) if you stay in touch.

Sister, life is short on this earth, ask yourself, do you want to be trying to figure this out and crying yourself to sleep everynight this time next year?
I suspect the answer is no. This is painful for you and you want the pain to go away at the same time as wanting answers..

Allah has the answer, and He has chosen not to reveal it to you, so don't get angry for something He has chosen for you..

When I do the Sajdah, I also offer my life to Allah and tell Him that I put my life in His hands, to do with as He wills..

Because He can surely change your situation in a second if He wishes.

I heard something once, someone said, every day of your life that you are happy is a waste because you learn nothing. Every day of your life that you are hurting, thats what makes you the person you are and makes you learn in life.

I get the gist of what the person was trying to say...you have to find the strength within yourself to trust Allah. You are not trusting Him by crying every night... You need to get up tomorrow morning and tell yourself. 'Right..thats it. I will trust in Allah to shape the course of my life and I pray that if Allah wills it, He might give me a true believer.

Then start looking at ways to fill your time. Do an online course if you can't go to college. I did an online TEFL course and then went to teach English to kids for a month in Korea- on my own- and it was so rewarding. Allah loves you Tanya..love Him also and trust in Him and when you feel the depression coming say 'A -U-Dhu-Bil-Lah-Hi-Minash-Shaytanir-Rajim'. Thats what I do continuously during the day and evening.

I would like to help you in anyway I can..please PM me for ANYTHING you need.
:)

[Tanya Khan]

I know sister I know ..

I'm the same, always checking my fone and emails to see if there's anything from him....big siiiiggghhhh

I believe Allah knows whats best for us, and I trust in Him that there is a good reason behind this, and that something better must be around the corner for me.

Possibly he is ignoring you now because he realised himself it would not be possible to make it work between you. And maybe it is painful for him to keep speaking with you..
Also if he wanted to leave you and didn't want to hurt you, that would explain why he didn't say anything, its a very difficult thing to say to someone when you know you will break their heart. It is the cowards way out but maybe you would hurt even more or be keeping a false hope (as I do) if you stay in touch.

Sister, life is short on this earth, ask yourself, do you want to be trying to figure this out and crying yourself to sleep everynight this time next year?
I suspect the answer is no. This is painful for you and you want the pain to go away at the same time as wanting answers..

Allah has the answer, and He has chosen not to reveal it to you, so don't get angry for something He has chosen for you..

When I do the Sajdah, I also offer my life to Allah and tell Him that I put my life in His hands, to do with as He wills..

Because He can surely change your situation in a second if He wishes.

I heard something once, someone said, every day of your life that you are happy is a waste because you learn nothing. Every day of your life that you are hurting, thats what makes you the person you are and makes you learn in life.

I get the gist of what the person was trying to say...you have to find the strength within yourself to trust Allah. You are not trusting Him by crying every night... You need to get up tomorrow morning and tell yourself. 'Right..thats it. I will trust in Allah to shape the course of my life and I pray that if Allah wills it, He might give me a true believer.

Then start looking at ways to fill your time. Do an online course if you can't go to college. I did an online TEFL course and then went to teach English to kids for a month in Korea- on my own- and it was so rewarding. Allah loves you Tanya..love Him also and trust in Him and when you feel the depression coming say 'A -U-Dhu-Bil-Lah-Hi-Minash-Shaytanir-Rajim'. Thats what I do continuously during the day and evening.

I would like to help you in anyway I can..please PM me for ANYTHING you need.
:)

Thank you for your help and advice. I don't want to cry, I try to be strong but when I see no difference no changes, I start getting depressed again, I hate 'time' it makes me feel worse :cry:

[Medina83]

Tell us what you do during the day..has your job ended?
What are your interests?
What would you like to do if money etc wasn't an issue...

[Tanya Khan]

Tell us what you do during the day..has your job ended?
What are your interests?
What would you like to do if money etc wasn't an issue...

My job hasn't ended... yet, but it will if I carry on the way I do. I don't concentrate at work I make so many mistakes because my mind is wild with thoughts :exhausted

I don't have much interest in anything anymore, I used to go out with friends, go watch movies, go to fashion shows etc, but now I don't want to go out with them because they have that 'special' someone in their lives and they don't stop talking about it when i'm around, it hurts because i'm so lonely, I have no one :cry: and I start remembering him.


I haven't got any single friends, at least I could go out with them without worrying about them going on about their other half.

I don't know what i'd do if money weren't an issue. I'd like to go on Holiday but I lose interest when I think my problems will still be here when I get back.

[Medina83]

My job hasn't ended... yet, but it will if I carry on the way I do. I don't concentrate at work I make so many mistakes because my mind is wild with thoughts :exhausted

I don't have much interest in anything anymore, I used to go out with friends, go watch movies, go to fashion shows etc, but now I don't want to go out with them because they have that 'special' someone in their lives and they don't stop talking about it when i'm around, it hurts because i'm so lonely, I have no one :cry: and I start remembering him.


I haven't got any single friends, at least I could go out with them without worrying about them going on about their other half.

I don't know what i'd do if money weren't an issue. I'd like to go on Holiday but I lose interest when I think my problems will still be here when I get back.

Your problem might still be there but your attitude may have changed.

We all need a break. But you need something to make you feel there is more to life than having a man.

Would you do any volunteering work? Thats what I'd recommend.Do it in your local hospital or any local organisation where the people are in need.

Sister spend your time helping others instead of crying over what Allah chose for you and you will get reward and feel better. You need a sense of perspective on whats important in life.

Plus, the longer you are in this frame of mind, the longer you will be on your own. You can't find someone else if you're focusing always on him.
Go to a site like www.muslima.com and just see what happens but in a halal way.:D

Honestly this is the course of action I've taken, and I no longer feel that i need him. You need to get rid of the dependency first.

Come on now sister, you have a right to happiness don't you?
So go get it!

[Islam_sister]

Aw thank you so much for doing Dua for me :cry:

No problem sister. Don't worry hun we all got you:)
But i am wondering sister are you atleast feeling a little bit better?

[nelly]

tanya i just read 1 of ur last messgaes and noticed u sed u lived alone, wheres ur family?

[DigitalStorm82]

Asalamu Alaikum Sis,

Do not worry about what people have and what they don't have. Everything is a test from Allah swt. Be patient and devote yourself to your Lord. Love Allah and He will Love you in return many folds. Inshallah you'll feel happy with yourself as you are right now. Be thankful that you are fortunate enough to have such bounties from Allah swt... Surely, Allah has plans for everyone... you must wait with patience and reward will inshallah be worth it.

Find Allah in your heart and you will no longer be lonely. Inshallah.

May Allah make it easy for you... Inshallah. Ameen.

W'salaamz

[nelly]

I was just wonderin tanya, that u sed he was an ahmedi. U no it is wrong the relationship u r havin but it sounds 2 me that if he calls u, u wil go bak 2 him, u believe in iman is very weak. U sed that wen u found out he was an ahmedi u were 2 involved wiv him 2 let go. I dnt understand how involved u can possibly be. Do u hav kids by him? R u married 2 him? No! so ur not 2 involved wiv him.
Your luv for theis guy is takin over ur life.
Who do u seriously luv more, This guy who doesnt giv a **** or our creator allah (swt) and our beloved messenger, prophet muhammed (SAW). This guy doesnt even believe that our prohet was the last of our prophets. He's goin sgainst wot it says in the quran, yet knowin this u stil luv him and want 2 be wiv him.
I really dont no wot advice 2 giv 2 u sis as u hav had plenty of very gud advice from all the brothers and sisters on this site.
u mentioned u dont pray very often! but u also sed that u dnt no wot 2 do. Start prayin! how many times do we all hav 2 keep tellin u! read quran, thats the best comfort u can hav and dnt even say it doesnt work coz u probably havnt even tried it!
2 years ago my husband was murdered. he was 21. I had a daughter who was 2 and i was 8 months pregnant. I wasnt practising then. I was abspolutly distraught wiv wot had happend and thought I'd never get over it. I just wanted 2 die. Every nite I couldnt sleep coz i just kept thinkin and thinkin. I then startde 2 read the quran weneva I was upset or I couldnt sleep. That was the biggest and best comfort. I realised this is wot allah wanted I hav 2 accept it and remember why we r here. We r here to serve allah alone and 2 please allah in every way. Look tanya I dnt want 2 sound harsh wiv u, I really do sympathise wiv u but u really need 2 stop feelin so sorry 4 urself and move on. Stop waitin around 4 him, infact change ur numbers so u no he cant ring u anymore and u wont keep lookin at ur fne wonnderin wether he's gona 4 u.
No guy or girl infact is worth leavin ur family over. My family was against my marriage but luk who's here 4 me in the end. I dnt really no if u hav contact wiv ur family or not but try not 2 lose contact wiv them.
inshallah everythin wil be beta soon

[anonymous]

I was just wonderin tanya, that u sed he was an ahmedi. U no it is wrong the relationship u r havin but it sounds 2 me that if he calls u, u wil go bak 2 him, u believe in iman is very weak. U sed that wen u found out he was an ahmedi u were 2 involved wiv him 2 let go. I dnt understand how involved u can possibly be. Do u hav kids by him? R u married 2 him? No! so ur not 2 involved wiv him.
Your luv for theis guy is takin over ur life.
Who do u seriously luv more, This guy who doesnt giv a **** or our creator allah (swt) and our beloved messenger, prophet muhammed (SAW). This guy doesnt even believe that our prohet was the last of our prophets. He's goin sgainst wot it says in the quran, yet knowin this u stil luv him and want 2 be wiv him.
I really dont no wot advice 2 giv 2 u sis as u hav had plenty of very gud advice from all the brothers and sisters on this site.
u mentioned u dont pray very often! but u also sed that u dnt no wot 2 do. Start prayin! how many times do we all hav 2 keep tellin u! read quran, thats the best comfort u can hav and dnt even say it doesnt work coz u probably havnt even tried it!
2 years ago my husband was murdered. he was 21. I had a daughter who was 2 and i was 8 months pregnant. I wasnt practising then. I was abspolutly distraught wiv wot had happend and thought I'd never get over it. I just wanted 2 die. Every nite I couldnt sleep coz i just kept thinkin and thinkin. I then startde 2 read the quran weneva I was upset or I couldnt sleep. That was the biggest and best comfort. I realised this is wot allah wanted I hav 2 accept it and remember why we r here. We r here to serve allah alone and 2 please allah in every way. Look tanya I dnt want 2 sound harsh wiv u, I really do sympathise wiv u but u really need 2 stop feelin so sorry 4 urself and move on. Stop waitin around 4 him, infact change ur numbers so u no he cant ring u anymore and u wont keep lookin at ur fne wonnderin wether he's gona 4 u.
No guy or girl infact is worth leavin ur family over. My family was against my marriage but luk who's here 4 me in the end. I dnt really no if u hav contact wiv ur family or not but try not 2 lose contact wiv them.
inshallah everythin wil be beta soon

ahhhhhhhhhhh siiiiiiiiisssssssssssss that is sum top advice gurl!!! All of it in particular the bit highlighted in red! iv read this thread so many tyms n it seems dat as tym goes on the sis is still feelin exactly the same as she did when she first posted the thread- i so wanted 2 say what u sed but was afraid of hurtin th sisz feelins.

And dats awful wat uv been thru yaself sis, omg ya hubby murdered at age of 21! dats awful, May Allah(swt) grant him a place in jannah inshaAllah.

And wat u sed about family, u jus tuk da words ryt outta ma mouth.

well sed sis x x

[Tanya Khan]

tanya i just read 1 of ur last messgaes and noticed u sed u lived alone, wheres ur family?

My family don't live too far from me, my dad through me out when my marriage broke down. He was old fashioned, he always blamed the women for everything. Then I moved in with my sister (who is divorced also) but we've never been a close-nit family, i could never talk to my sisters about anything. We had an argument about something and she through me out aswell after a few months. There's no care there at all, i've never been loved in the family. :cry:

[muslimah_786]

My family don't live too far from me, my dad through me out when my marriage broke down. He was old fashioned, he always blamed the women for everything. Then I moved in with my sister (who is divorced also) but we've never been a close-nit family, i could never talk to my sisters about anything. We had an argument about something and she through me out aswell after a few months. There's no care there at all, i've never been loved in the family. :cry:

awwwwwwww
thats really bad! where do u live?

[Tanya Khan]

I was just wonderin tanya, that u sed he was an ahmedi. U no it is wrong the relationship u r havin but it sounds 2 me that if he calls u, u wil go bak 2 him, u believe in iman is very weak. U sed that wen u found out he was an ahmedi u were 2 involved wiv him 2 let go. I dnt understand how involved u can possibly be. Do u hav kids by him? R u married 2 him? No! so ur not 2 involved wiv him.
Your luv for theis guy is takin over ur life.
Who do u seriously luv more, This guy who doesnt giv a **** or our creator allah (swt) and our beloved messenger, prophet muhammed (SAW). This guy doesnt even believe that our prohet was the last of our prophets. He's goin sgainst wot it says in the quran, yet knowin this u stil luv him and want 2 be wiv him.
I really dont no wot advice 2 giv 2 u sis as u hav had plenty of very gud advice from all the brothers and sisters on this site.
u mentioned u dont pray very often! but u also sed that u dnt no wot 2 do. Start prayin! how many times do we all hav 2 keep tellin u! read quran, thats the best comfort u can hav and dnt even say it doesnt work coz u probably havnt even tried it! 2 years ago my husband was murdered. he was 21. I had a daughter who was 2 and i was 8 months pregnant. I wasnt practising then. I was abspolutly distraught wiv wot had happend and thought I'd never get over it. I just wanted 2 die. Every nite I couldnt sleep coz i just kept thinkin and thinkin. I then startde 2 read the quran weneva I was upset or I couldnt sleep. That was the biggest and best comfort. I realised this is wot allah wanted I hav 2 accept it and remember why we r here. We r here to serve allah alone and 2 please allah in every way. Look tanya I dnt want 2 sound harsh wiv u, I really do sympathise wiv u but u really need 2 stop feelin so sorry 4 urself and move on. Stop waitin around 4 him, infact change ur numbers so u no he cant ring u anymore and u wont keep lookin at ur fne wonnderin wether he's gona 4 u.
No guy or girl infact is worth leavin ur family over. My family was against my marriage but luk who's here 4 me in the end. I dnt really no if u hav contact wiv ur family or not but try not 2 lose contact wiv them.
inshallah everythin wil be beta soon

I DO read the Qu'ran, I read Surah Yasin almost everyday and I pray namaz as much as I can. I can't believe things have got much worse! How could this be! Do you know, after all this pain and suffering, I thought things can't get any worse, I told myself, 'things will get better, have faith' but they have got WORSE!!!

Now my family won't even speak to me because they told me to move in with my sister but I said i can't, not after she through me out, also because I'm already depressed and I don't get on with her, she will not let me go anywhere or do anything, i'll have no privacy, she will make me feel WORSE!! But as usual my family don't want to understand, they just want me to do what they say, and because I didn't, they have disowned me!!!!! How could things get worse after everything i've been through!!!!!

People on here told me things will get better have patience, but how much more can I take pls tell me HOW MUCH MORE???? I pray, yet I am miserable beyond belief!!!!!!
How can I be facing this many tests all at once, how can I bear this.... I CAN'T ANYMORE!!!! I just want to die!!! :cry:

On no soul does Allah Place a burden greater than it can bear.
[Qur'an, 2:286]

Allah (swt) has put a burden on me which I CANNOT BEAR !!!! HOW COULD THIS BE!!!!! I feel like I will collapse and die with all this misery and depression!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CAN'T TAKE NO MORE, HOW PATIENT CAN A HUMAN BEING BE?????????
I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO IS HAVING IT AS BAD AS ME!!! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME, WHY AFTER PRAYING AND PRAYING AND PRAYING DID THINGS GET WORSE????????????? JUST WHEN I START BELIEVING THINGS WILL GET BETTER, ANOTHER museebat!!! :cry:

NO, THINGS WILL NEVER GET BETTER NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS!!! LOOK HOW MANY REPLIES ON THIS THREAD, OVER 100!!!! YET I STILL HAVE NO PEACE IN MY HEART, JUST NEVERENDING MISERY AND TORTURE!!!!!! HOW CAN ALLAH (SWT) PUT THIS MUCH MISERY ON ME???? :enough!:

[Tanya Khan]

awwwwwwww
thats really bad! where do u live?

I have just moved into a rented room, I was staying with a friend a before, but she has just moved into a 1 bedroom place with her husband so I ddin't want to go there. I am more depressed i'm stuck in 1 room all the time, I can't roam around the house like I could at my friends place.

[IceQueen~]

In the quran it says that those who fear Allah -He will grant them a way out of every hardship insha Allah

fearing Allah means being aware of Him and being obedient to Him and abiding by His laws

and remember the power of prayer Insha Allah sis

[Tanya Khan]

In the quran it says that those who fear Allah -He will grant them a way out of every hardship insha Allah

fearing Allah means being aware of Him and being obedient to Him and abiding by His laws

and remember the power of prayer Insha Allah sis

I can't really say anything to that as I've never experienced happiness in my life, and never will.

[Medina83]

Tania,
You need to take a moment to sit back and review what you have said in your last five posts.

You are straying further away from Allah now can't you see that? You are saying He gave you more than you can bear and that you will never know happiness. Both of these things

You cannot expect Allah to help you if you insult Him. You are denying His truth here.

I know you are desperate and depressed, but think...
Is it possible this depression is being caused by the Shaytan to turn you away from God? Because you feel your lot is unfair and you're so miserable and now you are blaming Allah? You are letting the devil win over you!!

Tania, if you continue to concentrate on your depression and blaming Allah and your 'miserable' life then you know what this will lead you to...suicide.

Tania, stop this now!!!!
Get off your arrogant high horse and thank God for giving you each new day as an opportunity to repent. I know this is harsh, but your self pity has gone on long enough!!

You have a life, and you are throwing it away. Don't you want to be happy?!!
Its time to make a plan for yourself. God wants you to be happy, but you are allowing Shaytan to delude you! Now cop onto this and start saying 'A U-Dhu-Billahi-Minash-Shaytanir_Rajim when you feel these things and tell yourself you will not the evil one to overcome you with depressing thoughts!

This is your test : are you going to let the shaytan to have his way with you?
Are you that self obsessed that you will allow this to happen and then blame it on Allah?!?!?!

Sister, speak to the shaytan and tell him to get lost!!!!!!
And then go and do something good to make up for all this!
It will help your mental state and the state of your soul.

Get a grip now..you are a person with choices to make. Whats it going to be?
Heaven or Hell?

[Medina83]

You are straying further away from Allah now can't you see that? You are saying He gave you more than you can bear and that you will never know happiness. Both of these things

Both of these things are sinful and arrogant!

[Tanya Khan]

Do You Think This Is Easy For Me??? Do You Think I Want To Think Those Kind Of Things In My Head???

When You Try And Try And Wait Years And Years, Be As Patient As You Can, Pray As Much As You Can Even Though You've Been Through One Heavy Burden After The Other And You Don't See Anything Getting Better, Only Worse, Then Tell Me What Am I Supposed To Do? What Am I Supposed To Think? Nothing Is Helping Me, Like I Said, I Pray And Pray And My Life Is Miserable Beyond Belief!!!

You Lot Will Only Understand This Torture If You've Been Through It Yourselves, But You Obviously Haven't!!!!

[Medina83]

"If anyone withdraws himself from Allah's remembrance, Most Gracious, We appoint for him an evil one to be his intimate companion." [43: 36.]


Hadith: "Remain conscious of Allah and fear Him wherever you are. And follow a bad deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards people."


Tania you're letting your emotions spiral out of control
Don't think we don't understand! You don't know our histories!!

I am being cruel to be kind and one day you might see it, but obviously not now.

Whatever you are supposed to think, its not that Allah is to blame!!!

Come on, you can't think that you're actions and decisions have had NO part to play in all this???

You are not helping yourself, you've given up on yourself!

[Tanya Khan]

"If anyone withdraws himself from Allah's remembrance, Most Gracious, We appoint for him an evil one to be his intimate companion." [43: 36.]


Hadith: "Remain conscious of Allah and fear Him wherever you are. And follow a bad deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards people."


Tania you're letting your emotions spiral out of control
Don't think we don't understand! You don't know our histories!!

I am being cruel to be kind and one day you might see it, but obviously not now.

Whatever you are supposed to think, its not that Allah is to blame!!!

Come on, you can't think that you're actions and decisions have had NO part to play in all this???

You are not helping yourself, you've given up on yourself!

Yes, your right i've given up because now I know that nothing or no one will ever help me 'needing' him and 'wanting' him so desperately. My heart will never ever find peace! :enough!:

[Medina83]

If he was the one for you, then you'd be with him, because Allah would have made it happen.

As you are not together, then he is not the one for you, it means there is someone else out there who is...

So why not go and find him?

[nelly]

Tanya, we hav all been tryin 2 giv u advice, ur not the only person who's had a hard life! u say ur not close 2 ur family but neither am i but they r my blood! I dnt think ur dad and sis can through u out 4 nothin, ok ur marriage has broken dwn but if u kept tryin wiv ur dad he may hav cum round, as regareds 2 my sis, i dnt get along wiv mine neither and we hav huge arguements but even if its her fault i always try and work things out wiv her> Life is 2 short!!!!!!
Ur actin so ungrateful 2 allah!!!
think about the positives that u hav in ur life!
U say u dnt hav any!
R u disabled?
No! thank allah 4 that!
R u starvin and hav no food!
Probably not!
Look at the people that r sufferin in iraq and in all the other countries in the world!!!!!
They r people that i feel sorry 4!
Ur dyin over sum idiot and 2 be honest u will only learn from ur own mistakes!
U will eventually realise in the future that woteve the brothers and sisters on this thread has sed 2 u has only been 4 the gud on ur behalf!

[Medina83]

Tania, If you've given up on yourself thats one thing.
But don't give up on Allah.
Put your life and heart in His hands, and tell Him that you can't find the strength to get over this, and ask Him to help you.
Ask Him to give a true believer...and if you say this with all your heart, I sincerely believe He will help you...



To the person who sent me a PM: I cannot respond cos I don't have 50 posts yet, but I feel your pain. :)

[Tanya Khan]

Thank you everyone still having the patience to reply, even though I don't seem to be getting anything in to my thick head. I know so many of you have lost patience with me, I'm really sorry for everything.

I don't know what's wrong with me or my life. I asked a friend of mine if she thinks I should go see someone for help she also thinks i'm going crazy. Like a an Imam/Peer but she said they might do something to make my life worse, she said don't go there.
Does anyone else know what I can do to get help for these feelings within me? I need to know why I feel like someone has cursed me, because nothing has ever gone right in my life, everything I do has a hitch or hiccup, nothing makes me happy. Any advice will be very much appreciated.

[Grace Seeker]

Tanya, I want to ask you a very simple, but also serious question.

Do you see yourself as a person of worth in your own right?


Not based on how other people treat you, or the circumstances in life, but just as a person. Are you worth it for people, for God to care about you?

[anonymous]

cant believe dis thread bin opem 4 so long n is stil at da TOP :rollseyes

[Noor]

For anyone who has feelings similar to those of Tanya, you should read and understand the lyrics of Native Deen's song Test.

Test

Lately things have been so stressed for you
It seems like life is trying to mess with you and pester you
You thought you knew exactly what to best pursue
You working hard on those things that you set to do
But you confess it's true that your success is few
And your folks are only helping in depressing you
You try to do the Deen but they be stressing you
And it gets to you but you suppress that too
An exam, you go and study day and night
You pray and write, hope for a grade you like
But when you get the test you're in dismay and fright
There's no A in sight and only 8 were right, wow!
And what about the sister you enquired about
She's so pious, devout that it required a scout
But then you get the news her Wali fired you out
They were wired, no doubt, to someone higher in clout
Lately its seems that your calling in life
Is just you falling in strife
The word appalling is right
And you notice you've been feeling sick, why who knows
So you call upon the doctor she can eye it close
She tells you I suppose, that you wont be very happy when I diagnose
Although you try your hardest not to cry it shows
It's a monster load, and your strength is sinking
You start wondering and thinking

What's going on? it seems all wrong, why am I the one struggling along?
I don't know why I'm hurting, I never hurt nobody
My life I'm living right, but it's crumbling around me
How strong is my faith this time? (got to pass the test)
Will my solution include Haram? (got to pass the test)
I gotta be strong during times like these, (got to pass the test)
I know after hardship there goes ease! (got to pass the test) It's a test, (from Allah), a test (from your Lord), it's a test (what you gonna do?), gotta realize it's a test

Folks used to say you were smarty kid
Others made mistakes but you hardly did
Since then man, life has just been marvelous
You stand tall like an obelisk
It's obvious
Your high paying job is never arduous
Your living in your crib and you got marble this and marble that
Others dream to rival that
And your blessed to never draw major debt
because success is your motto nothing keeps you down
Passing peeps in town, yo by leaps and bounds
People clapping when you talk because of deep renown
You drive Hummers and top model jeeps around
You know its bad and haram to be a miser and boast
But your healthier and wealthier and wiser than most
You gotta an adviser to those, who try to propose
Cause there's so many potentials that they line up in rows
You got it all, the power the money the wealth
Your thinking God's gotta love you more than anyone else
But wait Whoa wait a second, this isn't what your thinking
You gotta stop and think why you getting all the blessings
Don't want to let it shake ya, or let the devil make ya
Forget to praise Allah and then fail the test your taken
No doubt you're gonna try your best
Gotta be thankful and pray no less
Already gotta head up above the rest
Cause you realize this is just a test.

So face it, in life, you'll be tested at times
The devil, he's bright, don't let him mess with your mind
Yo, we're blessed, the Divine, which is the best for mankind
So He (God) gives us exams so don't get stressed out and whine
Even the best of all humanity was tested Himself
Allah can test us with calamity or test us with wealth
Can you hold back from profanity and focus yourself
Or maybe keep away from vanity and function in stealth
It's tough, trust me I know that it's rough
But after pain comes ease and you'll be blessed from above
I hope when the time for my test comes along I will cope and I'll find I'll be blessed when I'm strong
So my people, when life is a mess
You gotta focus and realize, this could be your test.

-----------

It makes a lot of sense.

[snakelegs]

tanya,
i understand that you are in pain, but i am going to be harsh with you anyway.
you have made a mistake of making another person your reason for living.
i think you need help - and this is nothing to be ashamed of.
i think your problem is not this guy at all, it is you and your lack of self esteem.
it is time to stop whining about this romance and direct your energies toward seeking help.
please get help and learn your own worth.

[Tanya Khan]

Tanya, I want to ask you a very simple, but also serious question.

Do you see yourself as a person of worth in your own right?


Not based on how other people treat you, or the circumstances in life, but just as a person. Are you worth it for people, for God to care about you?

Sadly, I don't feel worthy of anything. I've been hurt by so many people in my life, not just this guy, i've been hurt by family and friends that I thought I could trust. When you get treated like dirt time and time again, you lose your self worth. :cry:

[IceQueen~]

hey cool it woman!!! stop mooning around the place- ur only giving negative messages to ur brain hon!!!

but as snakelegs said you need to busy yourself in something interesting that you get satisfaction from...

You're a muslim and so you believe that this life is not eternal but it is a test from Allah and according to how we live here He will reward us (or punish us-God forbid) in the hereafter...

So our ultimate purpous in this life is to seek knowledge on how to live best to Allah's pleasure

He's made it easy for us in that He's sent us messengers to Guide us to His path- the last message is the Quran---and so to get the most out of this life we need to study Allah's message to us in the Quran

[Snowflake]

Sadly, I don't feel worthy of anything. I've been hurt by so many people in my life, not just this guy, i've been hurt by family and friends that I thought I could trust. When you get treated like dirt time and time again, you lose your self worth. :cry:

Fair enough, you've had a rough time but does that mean you go on living in self-pity? No one can make you believe you're worth something if you don't believe it yourself. I know you'll prob ignore my advice - I don't mind. But I still have enough compassion in me to offer advice to a fellow human being.

I agree with snakelegs, you should get professional help. It will help you deal with bad experiences and help you think positively. Remember even bad experiences needn't be negative. If you're positive you'll realise that they have taught you something about yourself, others and how to handle things in the future.

I sincerely advise you to get professional help. I am sure it will make a huge difference. I will leave with saying that happiness is not something you should expect to find from others. It is possible to make changes to your life that will make you happy. Remember we're born alone and die alone and in between we alone can make our life what WE want it to be.

I truly wish you happiness. May Allah have mercy on you. Ameen.

[Tanya Khan]

Fair enough, you've had a rough time but does that mean you go on living in self-pity? No one can make you believe you're worth something if you don't believe it yourself. I know you'll prob ignore my advice - I don't mind. But I still have enough compassion in me to offer advice to a fellow human being.

I agree with snakelegs, you should get professional help. It will help you deal with bad experiences and help you think positively. Remember even bad experiences needn't be negative. If you're positive you'll realise that they have taught you something about yourself, others and how to handle things in the future.

I sincerely advise you to get professional help. I am sure it will make a huge difference. I will leave with saying that happiness is not something you should expect to find from others. It is possible to make changes to your life that will make you happy. Remember we're born alone and die alone and in between we alone can make our life what WE want it to be.

I truly wish you happiness. May Allah have mercy on you. Ameen.

Thank you for having patience with me sister. I want to get help but I don't know how to go about it. I spoke to my Doctor and he won't refer me to anyone, he just wants me to go on anti-depressants he's useless. If I want therapy then I will have to pay for every session and I can't afford it on my wage as i'm paying too much rent already. Any other suggestions?

[IceQueen~]

honey don't bother with anti-depressants- I'm telling you- TURN TO ALLAH

there's a book called 'You Can Be The Happiest Woman In The World' by 'Aa'idh al-Qarni Darussalam publications- it's really good masha Allah please try and get hold of it and read it sweety

and what about that verse in the Quran 'Truly in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find Rest'

[Tanya Khan]

honey don't bother with anti-depressants- I'm telling you- TURN TO ALLAH

there's a book called 'You Can Be The Happiest Woman In The World' by 'Aa'idh al-Qarni Darussalam publications- it's really good masha Allah please try and get hold of it and read it sweety

and what about that verse in the Quran 'Truly in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find Rest'

I do remember Allah (swt) as much as I can. But I think seeking help professionally will also help. Can I speak to an Imam or someone? Do you know how the Imam would help if he did?

[IceQueen~]

yes he'd most probably encourage you to become closer to Allah

sis I know it might seem strange to you cos' ur not used to it or you may not see it that way but why don't you try and let go of all around you and turn to the One Who Created you and Who Knows you inside out- more than you know yourself

and Who is just waiting there for you to call on Him

it is not for any reason He says 'those who fear Allah He will grant them a way out from every hardship'

fearing Him means being aware of Him and remembering Him and following his laws...

May Allah Guide you and give you peace and contentment amiin :w:

[Tanya Khan]

yes he'd most probably encourage you to become closer to Allah

sis I know it might seem strange to you cos' ur not used to it or you may not see it that way but why don't you try and let go of all around you and turn to the One Who Created you and Who Knows you inside out- more than you know yourself

and Who is just waiting there for you to call on Him

it is not for any reason He says 'those who fear Allah He will grant them a way out from every hardship'

fearing Him means being aware of Him and remembering Him and following his laws...

May Allah Guide you and give you peace and contentment amiin :w:

I always call on him, but I can't see the light :(
Over the years i've been a very depressed person because of family and friends, not only because of this guy. If I did see the light in the past, it didn't last long, the depression came back again and again.
But I will NEVER give up on Allah (swt) and I will carry on praying and remembering him, InshahAllah.

[IceQueen~]

aww thats beautiful sis masha Allah!! that's the spirit but also read LAA HAWLA WA LAA QUWWATA ILLAA BILLAH there is no power nor might except with Allah


because depression is only from shaytan and when ur upset about something he comes and makes things evfen worse cos' ur already down

reading that gets rid of depression insha Allah

[Ayesha Rana]

yupyup IceQueen~ is right, depresants just make u feel dependant on sumfin. u gotta take control of ur own life cuz Shaitaan will be delighted to take advantage.
Think of all the things u enjoy. We dnt hav boyfriends and wer\'e doin jus fine. Everyone has ups and down, u jus gotta focus on what u enjoy
Salaam

[khushnood]

the same thing happened with my frnd recently.she was depressed for quite some time,but her case was reverse,the boy left her.anyways,i never approved such a kind of relationship.

[nelly]

I was just wonderin tanya, that u sed he was an ahmedi. U no it is wrong the relationship u r havin but it sounds 2 me that if he calls u, u wil go bak 2 him, u believe in iman is very weak. U sed that wen u found out he was an ahmedi u were 2 involved wiv him 2 let go. I dnt understand how involved u can possibly be. Do u hav kids by him? R u married 2 him? No! so ur not 2 involved wiv him.
Your luv for theis guy is takin over ur life.
Who do u seriously luv more, This guy who doesnt giv a **** or our creator allah (swt) and our beloved messenger, prophet muhammed (SAW). This guy doesnt even believe that our prohet was the last of our prophets. He's goin sgainst wot it says in the quran, yet knowin this u stil luv him and want 2 be wiv him.
I really dont no wot advice 2 giv 2 u sis as u hav had plenty of very gud advice from all the brothers and sisters on this site.
u mentioned u dont pray very often! but u also sed that u dnt no wot 2 do. Start prayin! how many times do we all hav 2 keep tellin u! read quran, thats the best comfort u can hav and dnt even say it doesnt work coz u probably havnt even tried it!
2 years ago my husband was murdered. he was 21. I had a daughter who was 2 and i was 8 months pregnant. I wasnt practising then. I was abspolutly distraught wiv wot had happend and thought I'd never get over it. I just wanted 2 die. Every nite I couldnt sleep coz i just kept thinkin and thinkin. I then startde 2 read the quran weneva I was upset or I couldnt sleep. That was the biggest and best comfort. I realised this is wot allah wanted I hav 2 accept it and remember why we r here. We r here to serve allah alone and 2 please allah in every way. Look tanya I dnt want 2 sound harsh wiv u, I really do sympathise wiv u but u really need 2 stop feelin so sorry 4 urself and move on. Stop waitin around 4 him, infact change ur numbers so u no he cant ring u anymore and u wont keep lookin at ur fne wonnderin wether he's gona 4 u.
No guy or girl infact is worth leavin ur family over. My family was against my marriage but luk who's here 4 me in the end. I dnt really no if u hav contact wiv ur family or not but try not 2 lose contact wiv them.
inshallah everythin wil be beta soon

This message has been repeated from be4!

Sister tanya as u keep repeatin urself, im repeatin myself also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[iqrah]

u know that u cannot be with him so u'll have 2 get over it.
just think of it as an aspect in life which u cant keep 4eva
and inshallah u will get better
u have to remember this life is like a test and right now u r goin through a hard question.
to stop ur self from crying just think that he was not a big thing in ur life just a small thing which u dont have to bother about any more
inshallah u will find some1 beta than him in jannat
i will make dua 4 u
wasalam , iqrah

[SHAH G]

there plenty of more fish in the sea

[shanu]

salam whatever bad happens happen 4 a reason... God keeps ur hand empty to giv smtg better

[Tanya Khan]

there plenty of more fish in the sea

I dont want anyone but him!

[Tanya Khan]

Still waiting.... still no peace!

I think the only thing that will make me feel better is if I could talk to someone whose been through EXACTLY the same as me, have a heart to heart, woman to woman, otherwise nothing will help. :enough!:

[AnonymousPoster]

No... What you need is to occupy your mind. Pray your daily prayers, do the voluntary prayers and fasts, read Qur'an, read books, gain knowledge, listen to Qur'an, listen to lectures etc.

Stop making excuses for yourself, there is no excuse, and no advice you are going to be pleased with. Get up for tahajjud prayer and ask Allah to make things easy for you and make plenty of du'a inshaAllah.

I'm sorry if I sounded harsh, but we all tend to make excuses when we dont like what we hear.

[Tanya Khan]

No... What you need is to occupy your mind. Pray your daily prayers, do the voluntary prayers and fasts, read Qur'an, read books, gain knowledge, listen to Qur'an, listen to lectures etc.

Stop making excuses for yourself, there is no excuse, and no advice you are going to be pleased with. Get up for tahajjud prayer and ask Allah to make things easy for you and make plenty of du'a inshaAllah.

I'm sorry if I sounded harsh, but we all tend to make excuses when we dont like what we hear.

Sorry which prayer is that? :-[

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


The tahajjud prayer is the night prayer, its also called Qiyaam Al-Layl (standing at night.) And you pray it before fajr.

Ways to help oneself pray Qiyaam al-Layl
http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref...g&txt=tahajjud

[Tanya Khan]

:salamext:


The tahajjud prayer is the night prayer, its also called Qiyaam Al-Layl (standing at night.) And you pray it before fajr.

Ways to help oneself pray Qiyaam al-Layl
http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref...g&txt=tahajjud

I think i've heard about this prayer before but I didn't know what it was called and what it's for? Clicked on the link but I don't understand it properly. What are the benefits of this prayer? And how many rakaats is it? Sorry, I really don't know much do I :-[
Please enlighten me.....

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) said: Our Lord (glorified and exalted be He) descends each night to the earth's sky when there remains the final third of the night, and He says: Who is saying a prayer to Me that I may answer it? Who is asking something of Me that I may give it him? Who is asking forgiveness of Me that I may forgive him?

It was related by al-Bukhari (also by Muslim, Malik, at-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud).

If you pray tahajjud on the last third of the night, then that is a really rewardable act and if you pray to Allaah on the last third of the night [i think this is before fajr prayer starts] - then you're prayer is more likely to get responded to insha'Allaah, so long as you remain patient in your prayers.

I think this will explain in a more clearer way insha'Allaah:


Tahajjud: Virtues and Way of Performance
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...=1119503544728

[Grace Seeker]

Originally Posted by Grace Seeker
Tanya, I want to ask you a very simple, but also serious question.

Do you see yourself as a person of worth in your own right?


Not based on how other people treat you, or the circumstances in life, but just as a person. Are you worth it for people, for God to care about you?

Sadly, I don't feel worthy of anything. I've been hurt by so many people in my life, not just this guy, i've been hurt by family and friends that I thought I could trust. When you get treated like dirt time and time again, you lose your self worth. :cry:

Tanya, I want to tell you something that you may not be ready to believe is true, but it is. YOU ARE SPECIAL!!

You are worthy of love and respect.

You are a unique individual. There is no one else quite like you in the entire world.

And you are loved.

You may not experience or recognize any of these things to be true of your life, but I happen to know that they are.

Yes, you have also been beat up quite a bit by life. Perhaps this man was the best thing that you ever experienced in your life and you cannot now imagine anything better than some sort of fantasy that would include him.

The only problem with that is that it does appear to be a fantasy, and so you have yourself in a situation where you can't move on to any other possibility that might be there for you, because you have committed your life to something that isn't really there.

How do you move on? Well, if we were talking about a physical road you had to travel, how would you move on? Would you not look in the direction you needed to head and put one foot in front of the other. Then you would repeat that process again, and again, until eventually you found yourself at some new destination.

Oh, you could walk backwards staring at where you had been. You could even choose to remain unmoved. But neither would help you much. One would leave you stuck and the other likely to fall and get hurt. Not that there are any guarantees that the road won't be difficult enough on its own anyway. But, if what you want is to find happiness someplace else (as you have said you really aren't happy where you are right now), then I think you are going to have to move on.

And moving on emotionally is pretty much the same as moving on physically. 1) You have to decided that you're not going to keep hanging out in the same places that you have been. In other words, don't intentionally remind yourself about him. There will be plenty of unintentional reminders as it is. But it seems that you take time to intentionally think about him from what you have written in this thread.
2) You have to think of some place else you would rather be. This doesn't have to be another person. But something else has to become important to you in your life. What might that be? What do you like? What can you invest your time and energy in?
3) Then you have to begin to actually do that. Invest your time and energy in some of these other things.
4) Don't look back. You will remember this man at all sorts of odd times anyway, he seems to have that much of a role in your life. OK. If it happens it happens, but you don't have to dwell on it when it does. Instead, think on some of these other things.

Rejoice in Allah always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your own gentleness be evident to all. Know that Allah is always near to you. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to Allah. And the peace of Allah, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds.

Finally, my sister, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

[Tanya Khan]

Tanya, I want to tell you something that you may not be ready to believe is true, but it is. YOU ARE SPECIAL!!

You are worthy of love and respect.

You are a unique individual. There is no one else quite like you in the entire world.

And you are loved.

You may not experience or recognize any of these things to be true of your life, but I happen to know that they are.

Yes, you have also been beat up quite a bit by life. Perhaps this man was the best thing that you ever experienced in your life and you cannot now imagine anything better than some sort of fantasy that would include him.

The only problem with that is that it does appear to be a fantasy, and so you have yourself in a situation where you can't move on to any other possibility that might be there for you, because you have committed your life to something that isn't really there.

How do you move on? Well, if we were talking about a physical road you had to travel, how would you move on? Would you not look in the direction you needed to head and put one foot in front of the other. Then you would repeat that process again, and again, until eventually you found yourself at some new destination.

Oh, you could walk backwards staring at where you had been. You could even choose to remain unmoved. But neither would help you much. One would leave you stuck and the other likely to fall and get hurt. Not that there are any guarantees that the road won't be difficult enough on its own anyway. But, if what you want is to find happiness someplace else (as you have said you really aren't happy where you are right now), then I think you are going to have to move on.

And moving on emotionally is pretty much the same as moving on physically. 1) You have to decided that you're not going to keep hanging out in the same places that you have been. In other words, don't intentionally remind yourself about him. There will be plenty of unintentional reminders as it is. But it seems that you take time to intentionally think about him from what you have written in this thread.
2) You have to think of some place else you would rather be. This doesn't have to be another person. But something else has to become important to you in your life. What might that be? What do you like? What can you invest your time and energy in?
3) Then you have to begin to actually do that. Invest your time and energy in some of these other things.
4) Don't look back. You will remember this man at all sorts of odd times anyway, he seems to have that much of a role in your life. OK. If it happens it happens, but you don't have to dwell on it when it does. Instead, think on some of these other things.

Rejoice in Allah always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your own gentleness be evident to all. Know that Allah is always near to you. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to Allah. And the peace of Allah, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds.

Finally, my sister, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I appreciate you trying to help me, thank you. But... you know what? You can curse me, you can say horrible things to me, you can say anything you like once I say this. I have lost all faith. I've given up. I will never be happy. No matter what I do it goes wrong, I strong throughout and kept my faith in Allah, I believed time and time againt hings will get better, even though deep down I wasn't sure they would, but I still told myself they will.

You can only see words on this thread, you can't see my suffering, you can only read about it. No one can see or feel what i'm going through, you can only imagine.

So far, things have only been getting worse for me, I just moved into a rented room, and you know what? The bed has bugs and mites in it, not only that, the place is dirty and filthy, has no shower, a dirty bath, I have to wash in a tiny bucket with a jug. I can't afford anywhere else, i'm on the verge of losing my job, then again, I wouldn't be surprised if I did lose it with the luck i've had in my life.

I pray and pray, yet I get hardship after hardship with not even a tiny bit of happiness between those hardships. Pls don't tell me to be patient, don't tell me things will get better, don't tell me Allah (swt) will help me, because Allah is not helping me and he doesn't want to help me, he hates me, I am cursed and I am being punished for mistakes that other people get rewarded for, they don't pray, they go out with boys, they go clubbing, they drink and they get rewards in return and so much happiness.

Every single day I wake up and think about that guy, I can't get him out of my head even though I prayed and prayed that I move on, that these feelings for him go away, that I love no one but Allah (swt), and what happens day after day, I'm thinking about him even more, crying, wanting to die feeling miserable beyond belief.

If that is sheytan making him come into my head, then he's doing this time and time again, and I can only see things that the sheytan is capable of, so tell me then people, where is Allah's help? I haven't seen it and I don't think I ever will, sheytan has taken over my life, I feel like he is controlling me inside. Where is Allah's help? How much patience can a person have??? :enough!:

On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear. [Qur'an, 2:286]

^ Why do people commit suicide? Because the burden on them is greater than their soul can bear.

All I want now is to die, I can't bear this heartache anymore. :cry:

Thank you everyone for trying to help and advise me. I hope you all live happily and find happiness. Ameen.

[Muhammad]

:salamext: Tanya,

From what you have written, it seems that you are telling yourself the wrong things. You don't know whether Allaah (swt) hates you and you don't know that He doesn't want to help you; these are just things you are saying out of despair, and despairing like this is not going to solve anything. You don't need any of us to tell you this isn't true.

People have given excellent advice in this thread, advice such as reading the Qur'an and finding out what it is that Allaah (swt) is asking you and telling you to do; advice such as praying to Allaah and making du'a to him. And Alhamdulillah it seems that you are taking the right steps when you say that you have prayed to Allaah, but I think it is important that we look at this a bit more closely. Have a look at these links which explain how to do du'a properly:

Etiquette of making du’aa’

Why doesnt Allaah answer our duaas?


From these links, I've picked out some key points:

2 – Sincerity towards Allaah alone in making du’aa’. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And they were commanded not, but that they should worship Allaah, and worship none but Him Alone (abstaining from ascribing partners to Him)”

[al-Bayyinah 98:5]

Du’aa’ is worship, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, so sincerity (ikhlaas) is a condition of its being accepted.

8 – Having certain faith that Allaah will respond, and focusing with proper presence of mind, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Call upon Allaah when you are certain of a response, and remember that Allaah will not answer a du’aa’ that comes from a negligent and heedless heart.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3479; classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 2766.

10. He should be firm in his du’aa’, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No one of you should say, ‘O Allaah, forgive me if You wish, O Allaah, have mercy on me if You wish’; he should be firm in his asking, for Allaah cannot be compelled.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6339; Muslim, 2679.

13 – Ensuring that one’s food and clothing are good (i.e., halaal). Muslim (1015) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O people, Allaah is Good and does not accept anything but that which is good. Allaah enjoins upon the believers the same as He enjoined upon the Messengers. He says (interpretation of the meaning):

‘O (you) Messengers! Eat of the Tayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables, fruits)] and do righteous deeds. Verily, I am Well‑Acquainted with what you do’

[al-Mu’minoon 23:51]

‘O you who believe (in the Oneness of Allaah — Islamic Monotheism)! Eat of the lawful things that We have provided you with’

[al-Baqarah 2:172]

Then he mentioned a man who travels for a long distance and is disheveled and dusty, and he stretches forth his hands towards heaven saying, ‘O Lord, O Lord,’ but his food is haraam, his drink is haraam, his clothing is haraam, he has been nourished with haraam, so how can he be responded to?

Ibn Rajab (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Ensuring that one’s food, drink and clothing are halaal, and that one is nourished with halaal, is a means of having one’s du’aa’ answered. End quote.

2. Repentance and turning back to Allaah. Sin is one of the main reasons why du’aa’s are not answered, so the person who is making du’aa’ should hasten to repent and seek forgiveness before he makes du’aa’. Allaah tells us that Nooh (peace be upon him) said:

“I said (to them): ‘Ask forgiveness from your Lord, verily, He is Oft-Forgiving; He will send rain to you in abundance, And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers.’ ” [Nooh 71:10-12]

3. Beseeching, humbling oneself, hoping for Allaah’s reward and fearing His punishment. This is the spirit, essence and purpose of du’aa’. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Invoke your Lord with humility and in secret. He likes not the aggressors” [al-A’raaf 7:55].

Things which may prevent du’aa’ from being answered include:

5. Trying to hasten the response. Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: the Messenger of Allaah

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The du’aa’ of any one of you will be answered so long as he is not impatient and says, ‘I made du’aa’ but it was not answered.’” Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim.

Another important point is to realize that the response to the du’aa’ may take different forms: either Allaah will respond and fulfil the desire of the person who made the du’aa’, or He will ward off some evil from him because of the du’aa’, or He will make something good easy for him to attain because of it, or He will save it with Him for him on the Day of Resurrection when he will be most in need of it. And Allaah knows best.

So we can see that trying to hasten a response and despairing of Allaah's help are things which prevent a du'a from being answered.

I am being punished for mistakes that other people get rewarded for, they don't pray, they go out with boys, they go clubbing, they drink and they get rewards in return and so much happiness.

If somebody is punished in this life for a sin they commited, then that is far better than being punished for it in the hereafter. The pain of hellfire is far beyond what anyone can imagine or bear, yet the pain of this life is something far more tolerable. And people doing those things you mention are not being rewarded; Allaah (swt) is not pleased with them at all, for He says:

And strain not your eyes in longing for the things We have given for enjoyment to various groups of them (polytheists and disbelievers in the Oneness of Allâh), the splendour of the life of this world that We may test them thereby. But the provision (good reward in the Hereafter) of your Lord is better and more lasting.

And enjoin As-Salât (the prayer) on your family, and be patient in offering them [i.e. the Salât (prayers)]. We ask not of you a provision (i.e. to give Us something: money, etc.); We provide for you. And the good end (i.e. Paradise) is for the Muttaqûn (pious ). [Ta-Ha: 131-132]

Beautified for men is the love of things they covet; women, children, much of gold and silver (wealth), branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. This is the pleasure of the present world's life; but Allâh has the excellent return (Paradise with flowing rivers, etc.) with Him.

Say: "Shall I inform you of things far better than those? For Al-Muttaqûn (the pious) there are Gardens (Paradise) with their Lord, underneath which rivers flow. Therein (is their) eternal (home) and Azwâjun Mutahharatun (purified mates or wives) [i.e. they will have no menses, urine, or stool, etc.], And Allâh will be pleased with them. And Allâh is All-Seer of the (His) slaves".

Those who say: "Our Lord! We have indeed believed, so forgive us our sins and save us from the punishment of the Fire." (They are) those who are patient ones, those who are true (in Faith, words, and deeds), and obedient with sincere devotion in worship to Allâh. Those who spend [give the Zakât and alms in the Way of Allâh] and those who pray and beg Allâh's Pardon in the last hours of the night. [Aal-'Imraan: 14-17]

Let not the free disposal (and affluence) of the disbelievers throughout the land deceive you.

A brief enjoyment; then, their ultimate abode is Hell; and worst indeed is that place for rest.[Aal-'Imraan: 196-197]

So even though your life might be at an all time low, there are thousands of people who are so much worse off than you, and if that is not of any comfort, then think of our role models in Islam who also lived in great hardship and suffering yet dealt with this with the greatest display of trust and love for Allaah. Think of our Prophet Muhammad :arabic5: who slept on a rough mat that left marks on his back; who never got to eat fully for more than three days continuously throughout his life and who subsisted on merely dates and water. Think of the wife of Prophet Ibraheem (as) who was left in the desert with nothing except her son, yet she trusted Allaah and Allaah gave her provision. So have faith sister, because it is the only way out of the darkness that comes into our lives.

On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear. [Qur'an, 2:286]

^ Why do people commit suicide? Because the burden on them is greater than their soul can bear.

No, that is not true. It is because they have chosen not to face the trial that has come their way; they have chosen an "easy" way out; they have not fought their battle but have rather retreated from it. We must remember to ask Allaah for help and strength to pass through all trials that Allaah has decreed for us and that He keeps us strong in faith.

Also know that shaytaan cannot make you do anything. He whispers evil to everyone and tries his best, yet he is powerless when we remember Allaah and ward him off with the weapons that Allaah has given us, such as seeking refuge with Allaah from him.

To finish, everybody here has given you advice and encouragement in what to do. Yet none can take those steps except you. This thread can go on for 100 pages but all of it is useless if you never try to change. You must hold on to your faith and keep up your duties of prayer, Qur'an and supplication to Allaah - you may not be able to do everything in one go, but start slowly and maintain what you can. Over time you will forget about this person if you allow yourself to do so. You must allow Allaah to help you by putting in effort yourself and never givng up hope in Allaah. And whoever gives up a thing for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better Insha'Allaah.

:w:

[dream walker]

what is an ahmedi if its diffrent from kifir? i have not heard the word b-4?

ohhh sister, i am haveing deep men problems at the moment as well.........:laugh: i am trying to tell myself men are like trees- every where you look you see one.............well some have thorns.......or are rotten...or dead lol, or cant grow in your habitat..........ummm ok its just a saying to help out .....uhh its not really helping me much at the moment as well but we must stay strong.........things will end one way or another..........then we can move on..........*oh allah, give us strength.................

[Tanya Khan]

:salamext: Tanya,
[long quote removed]

Thank you so much for replying and for all this advice. :)

[Tanya Khan]

what is an ahmedi if its diffrent from kifir? i have not heard the word b-4?

ohhh sister, i am haveing deep men problems at the moment as well.........:laugh: i am trying to tell myself men are like trees- every where you look you see one.............well some have thorns.......or are rotten...or dead lol, or cant grow in your habitat..........ummm ok its just a saying to help out .....uhh its not really helping me much at the moment as well but we must stay strong.........things will end one way or another..........then we can move on..........*oh allah, give us strength.................

The main reason i can't rest is because of the way it ended.
If he was to call me again (which he never will), it would make me so so happy. If he called me to say he wants me back, that would make me double happy, BUT I would NEVER take him back. Just knowing the fact that he still wants me and that I have no interest in him, would make me happily move on and get on with my life.

I'd finally have peace in my heart. But at this present moment, because the split was so bitter, it left me with so many questions hanging over my head. I never wanted him to hate me and I still don't, I didn't want it to end the way it did. So for him to call me again would make me so happy and I'd be very peaceful.

I know most of you won't believe me, but I can honestly say, I would not take him back. It's just the way it ended, that's why I can't rest, I have no peace. It wouldn't have hit me so bad if the split weren't so bitter. So YES i'd be very happy if he called, but NO I wouldn't take him back. I just want a peaceful closure :(

[Woodrow]

The main reason i can't rest is because of the way it ended.
If he was to call me again (which he never will), it would make me so so happy. If he called me to say he wants me back, that would make me double happy, BUT I would NEVER take him back. Just knowing the fact that he still wants me and that I have no interest in him, would make me happily move on and get on with my life.

That is a very normal feeling. It is normal to fear rejection. The feeling you seem to want to achieve is to know that you have not been rejected. You have no control over how another person feels. The hardest lesson in life is when we discover that not everybody loves us unconditionally. It is very painful to learn that there is a possibility that even one person has stopped loving us.

But the reality is that the only person whose feelings we have any control over, is ourself.

I'd finally have peace in my heart. But at this present moment, because the split was so bitter, it left me with so many questions hanging over my head. I never wanted him to hate me and I still don't, I didn't want it to end the way it did. So for him to call me again would make me so happy and I'd be very peaceful.

That would give you instant gratification and would give you a temporary feeling of warmth. But, what about the long term effects? What happens if later in life you become lonely and you happen to come across him again? This can open up the doors to more problems and a greater pain than you now feel.

The past when gone, is gone. It is often a mistake to try to go back and change the past. thinking too strongly of our past errors can keep us from moving forward in life.

Also, it is necessary to understand that he has feelings also. This was as difficult on him as it was on you. You do not want to have him re-experience the pain anymore than you want to re-experience it. He is handling things in his own way to make his life return to normal. Do not wish for him to have to go through every thing all over. Allow him time to let his wounds heal and heal in the manner that is best for him.

Concentrate only on healing your own wounds. Ask Allah(swt) to give you the strength to see that you have your own set of pains and ask Allah(swt) to give you the knowledge and strength to let you understand and free you from this pain you are imposing upon your self.

I know most of you won't believe me, but I can honestly say, I would not take him back. It's just the way it ended, that's why I can't rest, I have no peace. It wouldn't have hit me so bad if the split weren't so bitter. So YES i'd be very happy if he called, but NO I wouldn't take him back. I just want a peaceful closure :(

As an outsider and not connected with your life. From what I see is you do have the tools for proper closure. Closure is not always a gentle drawing of the curtains. Sometimes closure comes as a violent slamming of the door.

The closure comes when we can see that the door is closed and we have no need to reopen it.

Do not think in terms as to what will feel best at this moment, think in terms of what is best for the future.

Bro. Muhammad gave you excellent advice on how to make Dua. Follow that advice and ask for the strength to understand that as things are, it is the best closure possible. Also in your Dua ask for the ability to let go of the past and free your thoughts so you may grow to the Beautiful future Allah(SWT) has for you if you will follow his path and not try to make your own path.

[AnonymousPoster]

the other day i got up and didnt get ready for school straightaway as i normally do, which is weird.
i got up and instead of making breakfast i went to my room and started looking in all my jewellry boxes and my cupboard and draws and i was looking for two of my neclaces; one said 'best friend' on it and the other said 'daughter'. i was getting late for school but i didnt care. it was like an obsession, as if something bad was going to happen if i didnt find them and wear them. eventually i found them and they were both tangled together so i got a pair of scissors and cut the chains off and put the pendants on my other neclace that i always wear. as soon as i put them on i felt re-assured, as if i really was a best friend and daughter. i dont know why. i dont normally do things like that.
when i eventually got into school, one of my mates told me that she had a dream about me at night; i rang her and i was panicing and telling her that i had to go to her house and she was saying to me no dont come but i was saying that i had to go and was pleading with her. i was saying 'i need to get out. i need to go to your house'

i think that both the 'incident' and the dream are connected somehow but i dont know how

brothers and sisters, what does this mean? any ideas? am i going mad?

[Kittygyal]

salamualikum
lol tis funny but anywho am no scholar but what i can say is ''you love her && she loves you'' :D
best mates forever so don't mess :p
ma'assalama

[strider]

the other day i got up and didnt get ready for school straightaway as i normally do, which is weird.
i got up and instead of making breakfast i went to my room and started looking in all my jewellry boxes and my cupboard and draws and i was looking for two of my neclaces; one said 'best friend' on it and the other said 'daughter'. i was getting late for school but i didnt care. it was like an obsession, as if something bad was going to happen if i didnt find them and wear them. eventually i found them and they were both tangled together so i got a pair of scissors and cut the chains off and put the pendants on my other neclace that i always wear. as soon as i put them on i felt re-assured, as if i really was a best friend and daughter. i dont know why. i dont normally do things like that.
when i eventually got into school, one of my mates told me that she had a dream about me at night; i rang her and i was panicing and telling her that i had to go to her house and she was saying to me no dont come but i was saying that i had to go and was pleading with her. i was saying 'i need to get out. i need to go to your house'

i think that both the 'incident' and the dream are connected somehow but i dont know how

brothers and sisters, what does this mean? any ideas? am i going mad?

Which is the dream and which is the incident?

You probably aren't mad.

[AnonymousPoster]

the other day i got up and didnt get ready for school straightaway as i normally do, which is weird.
i got up and instead of making breakfast i went to my room and started looking in all my jewellry boxes and my cupboard and draws and i was looking for two of my neclaces; one said 'best friend' on it and the other said 'daughter'. i was getting late for school but i didnt care. it was like an obsession, as if something bad was going to happen if i didnt find them and wear them. eventually i found them and they were both tangled together so i got a pair of scissors and cut the chains off and put the pendants on my other neclace that i always wear. as soon as i put them on i felt re-assured, as if i really was a best friend and daughter. i dont know why. i dont normally do things like that.
when i eventually got into school, one of my mates told me that she had a dream about me at night; i rang her and i was panicing and telling her that i had to go to her house and she was saying to me no dont come but i was saying that i had to go and was pleading with her. i was saying 'i need to get out. i need to go to your house'

i think that both the 'incident' and the dream are connected somehow but i dont know how

brothers and sisters, what does this mean? any ideas? am i going mad?

strider, the black is the incident and the red is the dream

[IbnAbdulHakim]

lol ;D

dnt wry ur sane lol, ;D

[جوري]

sister please relax. Even a person who has had a severe episode of epilepsy with myoclonic jerks, isn't labeled an epileptic if it were just a one time deal.... you are allowed one free psychotic episode-- like a bank credit or a get out of jail free card from Monopoly after you've paid your fifty dollar fine.... consider payment tendered! & just resume life as you know it without dwelling too much on the what is considered "normal"
wassalaam

[Muslim Woman]

I seek refuge in Allah (The One God) from the Satan (devil) the cursed, the rejected

With the name of ALLAH (swt) -The Bestower Of Unlimited Mercy, The Continously Merciful


Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh (May the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you)

&&

.... am i going mad?

----Insha Allah , no.

Don't miss ur any prayer ; before sleeping at night read Sura Falak , Sura Nas minimum 3 times . Anybody fears that someone is trying to harm , s/he should ask help of Allah .

U may read the the following link

Black Magic: Rulings & Remedy

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...=1119503543818

[Snowflake]

No, you're not going mad. But the shaytaan is trying to make you superstitious. Nothing bad can happen unless Allah wills, so a piece of jewellery isn't going to prevent it.

InshaAllah recite ayatul kursi after salah

subhanAllah 33x

alhumdulillah 33x

Allahu Akbar 33x

Kalimah Tawheed 1x

InshaAllah, Allah will protect and help you in your religious and wordly affairs. Give sadka in the name of Allah to ward of evil.

[AnonymousPoster]

jazak'allah for all the replies

i'm not dwelling on it, i just wanted to know what it meant and what others thought of it, and now that i look at it, the title of the thread was a bit stupid :-[

i've got over it, but am just thinking about what happeded, thinking about why it happened.

:w:

[Snowflake]

lol ok, just put it down to 'one of them things' inshaAllah

[Al_Imaan]

i don't think your going mad...it may just have been a coincident...

[chacha_jalebi]

i suggest you see a psychiatrist :p

na on a serious note :D

i think you may be feelin insecure about yourself, like you may not feel that you are a best friend or the person you think of as a best friend thinks of you as a best friend :D ya get me?

when your insecure just ask the person or summin and this should clear stuff, but dont be insecure cos im sure if you treat and think of someone as a best friend they will do the same to you :D:D

[AnonymousPoster]

i suggest you see a psychiatrist :p

na on a serious note :D

i think you may be feelin insecure about yourself, like you may not feel that you are a best friend or the person you think of as a best friend thinks of you as a best friend :D ya get me?

when your insecure just ask the person or summin and this should clear stuff, but dont be insecure cos im sure if you treat and think of someone as a best friend they will do the same to you :D:D

i'm over it now, but i thought i ought to reply to you because you took the time to do so.

i dont think i was feeling insecure about my best friend coz i luv her ta bits an i know she feels da same lol :D, but its weird...she know all about what happened, i tell her everything so she knows (my mums always yelling cuz i'm ALWAYS on the phone to her even though we're togetha 6hrs a day, esspecially at night...dnt get the perfect nights sleep without talkin to her first lol) but i dnt know...mayb it was jsut one of those days...i guess i'll never know why it happened. maybe its just stress.

[AnonymousPoster]

right now i feel very depressed. my life is taking a dramatic turn. everything has gone wrong and it just seems to get worst within time. i want to become more religious and there are things that are preventing that. (dont wanna talk about it) i feel as if im losing my faith and it hurts me everyday. my depression has me crying as a i pray. i ask allah to help me and i dedicate everyday to him and for some reason i dont feel it in my heart anymore. i have done harram things and i feel as if allah would never forgive me. my depression has taken over me and its effecting my religion. please brothers and sisters, , i need some guidness

[jinio]

dont worry, dont be too hard on yourself, allah is not called 'the most forgiving' for no reason.

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:sl:

Read these threads, Insha'Allaah they will be of help to you :)

http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-co...dying-out.html
http://www.islamicboard.com/basics-i...lace-ease.html
http://www.islamicboard.com/basics-i...s-sorrows.html
http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-co...-dont-sad.html
http://www.islamicboard.com/islamic-...-andalusi.html
http://www.islamicboard.com/akhira-h...al-qayyim.html

It's a bit of reading, but it'll help you Insha'Allaah and you'll feel better as you're reading. :)

[AnonymousPoster]

Subhanallah muslims arent supposed to be depressed.

Anyway i know where u coming from and how its like, just keep struggling fighting the nafs. Inshallah it will totally be worth it, the reward you'll get in the hereafter.

[snakelegs]

Subhanallah muslims arent supposed to be depressed.

what an absurd statement! muslims are just as human as every body else. it is human to be depressed from time to time.
maybe saints are free from it, but most of us are not.

[AnonymousPoster]

The only people that are depressed are the ones with no religion.

[AnonymousPoster]

Seek treatment, see a Doctor and ask to be referred to psychiatrist and also see a muslim aalim only if he also knows about other ilms such as to do with mental health problems, otherwise steer clear of them for a while.

[Woodrow]

The only people that are depressed are the ones with no religion.

Perhaps temporary depression can be one of the trials some very religious people need to pass through. We are all subject to trials and tests, depression may be the trial and test for some very pious Brothers and Sisters.

Just my thoughts Astragfirullah

[funk999]

We all do haram knowingly and unknowingly.. for which you have to do tawbah and promise never to do again. and its hard not to do some things. I suggest you read lots of Quran and most of All stay with the company of good people. Being alone or with the wrong peeps lead on to commit sin. You can come out of this if you are sincere..

Stay with Good Company!!!!!!!

[syilla]

"Do you think that you will enter Jannah without Allaah testing as to who are those that perform Jihaad and that practice Sabr." ('Aali Imraan 3:142)

"O Believers! Seek strength through Sabr and Salaah, verily Allaah is with those who practice Sabr. And do not consider those who are killed in the way of Allaah dead, but alive; however, you do not understand. Surely, we are going to test you through things like fear, hunger and loss of wealth, lives and produce. And give the good news to those who practice Sabr -those who, when they encounter troubles, say we are for Allaah and to Him we are going to return." (Al-Baqarah 2:153)

Just remember we will not go to Jannah...untill we are being tested.

Stay strong inshaAllah. Allah will always be there for you

[AnonymousPoster]

SALAAM

WALLAHI BROTHERS AND SISTERS THERE IS 2 MUCH STRESS IN MY LIFE AT THE MOMENT AND I CANNOT TAKE IT

I STOPPED CUTTING MY ARM WHEN I BECAME RELIGIOUS A YEAR BACK BUT I FEEL LIKE HARMING MYSELF AGAIN SO I CAN GO AWAY FROM ALL THE STRESS AND PAIN

I AM ANNOYED WITH MYSELF AS IF I DO ANYTHING AGAINST ISLAM IT WILL CAUSE ME EVEN MORE STRESS AND PAIN

PLEASE HELP ME!!! imsad imsad imsad

[IbnAbdulHakim]

wsalaam


first thing i wanna say is remember Ayyub AS.


now tell me what is making the life of yours so hard, you have a nice internet connection and computer i see. thats still a lot more then most,

please let us know whats up inshaAllah

[786rani]

keep yourself away from selfharm. keep up your strngth. yr lyf can't be that bad...
rani

[AhlaamBella]

Read Quran. That ALWAYS helps. Find a friend you trust and talk to them

[AnonymousPoster]

Yes It Can Be Bad
I Luv Sum1
My Dad Is In Hospital
I've Got Exams Cumin Up Not Revised A Bit
Got Coursework About 500 Pages 2 Hand In 2 Weeks And Only Done 50

I Cant Take Itttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt :cry:

[Md Mashud]

If you need a beating I'll be more then happy to lay some sticks and stones.

/end sarcasm

\_/ carecup is empty, cry me a river, go live in a 3rd world country with no sanitation so you have to do your business after digging a hole, and drink water which people urinate in as your daily means of food/water. Watch your family die from starvation, disease or just common illness. Look after a whol family starting from age 6, oh and full time work at same time.
Then come to me and talk about how much stress your in.

[------]

:salamext:

Place your trust in Allah sister/brother, remember this life is nothing compared to the hereafter...you will be rewarded for your patience Insha'Allah.

If you need a beating I'll be more then happy to lay some sticks and stones.

/end sarcasm

\_/ carecup is empty, cry me a river, go live in a 3rd world country with no sanitation so you have to do your business after digging a hole, and drink water which people urinate in as your daily means of food/water. Watch your family die from starvation, disease or just common illness. Look after a whol family starting from age 6, oh and full time work at same time.
Then come to me and talk about how much stress your in.

Can I point out that is NOT how you help someone?!

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Yes It Can Be Bad

ok

I Luv Sum1

more then Allah? coz u disobeyed him if u aint married to him/her

My Dad Is In Hospital

may Allah grant him shifa, again remember Ayyub AS

I've Got Exams Cumin Up Not Revised A Bit

lol genius :p

Got Coursework About 500 Pages 2 Hand In 2 Weeks And Only Done 50

I Cant Take Itttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt :cry:

seriously, this is nothing, subhanAllah you harm yourself coz of small minor stuff like this?

subhanAllah


wallahi look at the palestinians, the chechnyans, omg you know what just look at the african kids.


subhanAllah...

[Md Mashud]

It could be, it may make someone think twice about how lucky they are and that they should be thankful. It actually sickens me people would feel like to suicide - It justs shows disgusting amount of greed and unthankfulness.

Im just trying to give a wakeup call yo.

[AhlaamBella]

Yes It Can Be Bad
I Luv Sum1
My Dad Is In Hospital
I've Got Exams Cumin Up Not Revised A Bit
Got Coursework About 500 Pages 2 Hand In 2 Weeks And Only Done 50

I Cant Take Itttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt :cry:

heartache can be hard....believe me.
And it isn't easy when someone you love is ill. but life is a test.

Test – Native Deen
Lately things have been so stressed for you
It seems like life is trying to mess with you and pester you
You thought you knew exactly what to best pursue
You working hard on those things that you set to do
But you confess it's true that your success is few
And your folks are only helping in depressing you
You try to do the Deen but they be stressing you
And it gets to you but you suppress that too
An exam, you go and study day and night
You pray and write, hope for a grade you like
But when you get the test you're in dismay and fright
There's no A in sight and only 8 were right, wow!
And what about the sister you enquired about
She's so pious, devout that it required a scout
But then you get the news her Wali fired you out
They were wired, no doubt, to someone higher in clout
Lately its seems that your calling in life
Is just you falling in strife
The word appalling is right
And you notice you've been feeling sick, why who knows
So you call upon the doctor she can eye it close
She tells you I suppose, that you wont be very happy when I diagnose
Although you try your hardest not to cry it shows
It's a monster load, and your strength is sinking
You start wondering and thinking

What's going on? it seems all wrong, why am I the one struggling along?
I don't know why I'm hurting, I never hurt nobody
My life I'm living right, but it's crumbling around me
How strong is my faith this time? (got to pass the test)
Will my solution include Haram? (got to pass the test)
I gotta be strong during times like these, (got to pass the test)
I know after hardship there goes ease! (got to pass the test) It's a test, (from Allah), a test (from your Lord), it's a test (what you gonna do?), gotta realize it's a test (4x)

Folks used to say you were smarty kid
Others made mistakes but you hardly did
Since then man, life has just been marvelous
You stand tall like an obelisk
It's obvious
Your high paying job is never arduous
Your living in your crib and you got marble this and marble that
Others dream to rival that
And your blessed to never draw major debt
because success is your motto nothing keeps you down
Passing peeps in town, yo by leaps and bounds
People clapping when you talk because of deep renown
You drive Hummers and top model jeeps around
You know its bad and haram to be a miser and boast
But your healthier and wealthier and wiser than most
You gotta an adviser to those, who try to propose
Cause there's so many potentials that they line up in rows
You got it all, the power the money the wealth
Your thinking God's gotta love you more than anyone else
But wait Whoa wait a second, this isn't what your thinking
You gotta stop and think why you getting all the blessings
Don't want to let it shake ya, or let the devil make ya
Forget to praise Allah and then fail the test your taken
No doubt you're gonna try your best
Gotta be thankful and pray no less
Already gotta head up above the rest
Cause you realize this is just a test
Chorus
So face it, in life, you'll be tested at times
The devil, he's bright, don't let him mess with your mind
Yo, we're blessed, the Divine, which is the best for mankind
So He (God) gives us exams so don't get stressed out and whine
Even the best of all humanity was tested Himself
Allah can test us with calamity or test us with wealth
Can you hold back from profanity and focus yourself
Or maybe keep away from vanity and function in stealth
It's tough, trust me I know that it's rough
But after pain comes ease and you'll be blessed from above
I hope when the time for my test comes along I will cope and I'll find I'll be blessed when I'm strong
So my people, when life is a mess
You gotta focus and realize, this could be your test.

Now let me find some ayah from Quran...

[jzcasejz]

If you need a beating I'll be more then happy to lay some sticks and stones.

/end sarcasm

\_/ carecup is empty, cry me a river, go live in a 3rd world country with no sanitation so you have to do your business after digging a hole, and drink water which people urinate in as your daily means of food/water. Watch your family die from starvation, disease or just common illness. Look after a whol family starting from age 6, oh and full time work at same time.
Then come to me and talk about how much stress your in.

OK...I Agree With What You Said, But NOT The Way U Said It. Stuff Like 'Carecup Is Empty' Was A Little Harsh To Say The Least :omg:

But It's True...You Got Essays To Do, Then There's Nothing Much We Can Do...I Guess The Only Simple Answer Is To Pull Your Weight And Do The Essay And Do Some Revision.

And Some Good Advice Has Already Been Said, Think Of How Fortunate We Are Instead Of Constantly Focusing On The Bad Aspects Of Life, Read The Quran etc...

Sorry To Hear News Of Your Dad, InshaAllah He'll Get Restored Back To Good Health. :) Just Stop, Relax And Take It Eazzzy!

I Hope Everything Goes Well For You InshaAllah.

:w:

[AnonymousPoster]

i know that loving someone is wrong and i shouldnt do that before marriage but he is the only person that i want to get married to - but i dont know if he feels the same about me
and the coursework is too much!!!!!!!!!!!! i have to give all of that in two weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:'( :'( :'(

[ummAbdillah]

salaam
Don't harm yourself, may allah restore your fathers health - ameen
i've got exams and i haven't realy revised much, i got a load of courseword todo too.. i know that it can get a bit stressful sometimes BUT you need to stop harming yourself, think of others who are in worse situations and say ALHAMDULILAH :)
make as much du'aa as possible and inshallah allah will make things easy for you.
wa salaam

[IbnAbdulHakim]

i know that loving someone is wrong and i shouldnt do that before marriage but he is the only person that i want to get married to - but i dont know if he feels the same about me

ask him, if he rejects then Allah knows best


wallahi love before marriage is nothing more then a game of the shaytaan. i pray Allah makes u understand this

and the coursework is too much!!!!!!!!!!!! i have to give all of that in two weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:'( :'( :'(

lol again genius ;D

[AhlaamBella]

What cwk have you got?

[AhlaamBella]

lol again genius ;D

Lol your not helping bro:)

[ummAbdillah]

i know that loving someone is wrong and i shouldnt do that before marriage but he is the only person that i want to get married to - but i dont know if he feels the same about me
and the coursework is too much!!!!!!!!!!!! i have to give all of that in two weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:'( :'( :'(

:w:
Allah, the Exalted, says:

"Say: O `Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful". (39:53)

:w:

[AnonymousPoster]

wallahi love before marriage is nothing more then a game of the shaytaan. i pray Allah makes u understand this

^^ word up, its a pile of bullshh if ya ask me, its a common phase, sooner or later i hope u'll understand

and as for coursework? i managed to do mine rougly like 3 weeks b4 the due date, it's possible trust me, i wont lie tho - u most prolly wont get the best of grades, but ur making it out to be 'mission impossible' or sutin...

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Lol your not helping bro:)

sorry

its just theres nothing to do but do it lol.

all he/she has to do is get down and work hard, pray hard so she can relax hard in jannah

[FatimaAsSideqah]

:sl:

Turn each anxiety, each fear and each concern into a Dua (supplication). Look at it as another reason to submit to God and be in Sajdah (prostration), during which you are closest to Allah. God listens and already knows what is in your heart, but He wants you to ask Him for what you want. The Prophet said: Allah is angry with those who do not ask Him for anything (Tirmidhi).

The Prophet once said that in prayer, he would find rest and relief (Nasai). He would also regularly ask for God’s forgiveness and remain in prostration during prayer praising God (Tasbeeh) and asking for His forgiveness (Bukhari).

Allah wants you to be specific. The Prophet advised us to ask Allah for exactly what we want instead of making vague Duas. Dua is the essence of worship (the Prophet as quoted in Tirmidhi).

"Call on your Lord with humility and in private: for Allah loveth not those who trespass beyond bounds. Do not make mischief on the earth, after it hath been set in order, but call on Him with fear. And longing (in your hearts): for the mercy of Allah is (always) near to those who do good" (Quran 7:55-56).

:w:

Sister of Islam

[AhlaamBella]

^^ word up, its a pile of bullshh if ya ask me, its a common phase, sooner or later i hope u'll understan

sis( i'm guessing your a sis) easy. What bro IbnAbdul Hakim said is true. don't jump down his throat

[ummAbdillah]

salaam
may i ask, what is stopping you from marring this person??


(think positive, hasn't allah made you a MUSLIM?)
wa salaam

[akulion]

you must seek the counsel and advice of someone who you know is a reliable and good muslim in your actual life.

staying online will worsen your situation since depression gets worse when a person is alone. Also from an Islamic perspective the Shatan tries to isolate you from people so that you feel alone and helpless.

So please do seek the counsel of someone who you can actually meet and confide in (preferably a Muslim person)

[AhlaamBella]

sorry

its just theres nothing to do but do it lol.

all he/she has to do is get down and work hard, pray hard so she can relax hard in jannah

couldn't agree more but when you have a pile of cwk you search frantically for a loophole and just don't pay attention to logic

[jzcasejz]

sis( i'm guessing your a sis) easy. What bro IbnAbdul Hakim said is true. don't jump down his throat

erm no :-[ that wasnt her, that was me...and no i wasnt jumpin down abduls throat...i wasnt talkin about him at all ;D i was talkin about LOVE BEFORE MARRIAGe n how its a pile of...

capiche? :p

[anonymous]

"all he/she has to do is get down and work hard, pray hard so she can relax hard in jannah" - easier said than done !!!!!!!!

""may i ask, what is stopping you from marring this person??""-we are both young yet(in our teens)-his dad does not like me and my mum does not like the boy

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SPEECHLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!

[AhlaamBella]

lol got it now. Sorry about the misunderstanding bro

[anonymous]

""couldn't agree more but when you have a pile of cwk you search frantically for a loophole and just don't pay attention to logic"" --yes sister you understand me

""was talkin about LOVE BEFORE MARRIAGe n how its a pile of...""" -- ive not committed anything indecent! i just say salam! whats wrong with that!

[ummAbdillah]

salaam
could someone please provide this brother/sister with a lecture about
'love before marrige' am sure it will help
:)
wa salaam

[IbnAbdulHakim]

""was talkin about LOVE BEFORE MARRIAGe n how its a pile of...""" -- ive not committed anything indecent! i just say salam! whats wrong with that!

u gone crazy to marry a bro becoz all u was saying is salaam? lol seriously :p?

ok i dont know if thats possible :S


seriously ploy of the shaytaan, just be careful

[FatimaAsSideqah]

:sl:

Ok Aisha Sister of Islam..there goes: http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...=1119503544448

:w:

Sister of Islam

[anonymous]

""u gone crazy to marry a bro becoz all u was saying is salaam? lol seriously :p?""
--NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I USED TO BE REALLY CLOSE WITH HIM AND WE USED TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING - HE IS MY DISTANT RELATIVE-BUT HIS DAD INTERFERED AND NOW WE HARDLY TALK THAT MUCH

THIS IS TOO MUCH PAIN..THIS HEARTBREAK...WALLAHI !!!!!!!!!!!

[AhlaamBella]

Sis I know what your going through. Exactly. I went through the same last year. I was all set to marry this brother. STUPID STUPID me let myslef fall before the nikah. The nikah never happened. It took me a while to get over it. But got over it, I have.

As for cwk? it won't last the rest of your life.

[ummAbdillah]

""may i ask, what is stopping you from marring this person??""-we are both young yet(in our teens)-his dad does not like me and my mum does not like the boy

have you tried speaking to your parents about the issue... i've seen many teens get married, there is nothing wrong with getting married young - that's if you're ready or you feel that you must get married otherwise you will fall into zina

allah knows best
wa salaam

[jzcasejz]

salaam
could someone please provide this brother/sister with a lecture about
'love before marrige' am sure it will help
:)
wa salaam

Well If Anonymous Is Going Listen To It, Then Here's One Online:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...19272544183474