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sweetbanana86
07-18-2006, 03:14 AM
salam alaikum

What if a sister has no wali , what are her options in looking for husband
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lolwatever
07-18-2006, 03:19 AM
salam sis
i think ur assumign that wali is only ur parents, if ur parents nto around or cant be contacted and you don't have any near trustworthy relatives.. any trustworthy sheikh with good character can do the job inshalah

take care all the best
salams
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Dawud_uk
07-19-2006, 12:34 PM
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

If the wali refused to let a woman marry a man whose religious commitment and character are good, then guardianship passes to the next closest male relative on the father’s side, then the next closest and so on. If they refuse to arrange her marriage, as usually happens, then guardianship passes to the qaadi, and the qaadi should arrange the woman’s marriage. If the matter is referred to him and he knows that her guardians have refused to arrange her marriage, then he should do that, because he is the wali in cases where there is no specific wali.

The fuqaha’ (may Allaah have mercy on them) stated that if the wali repeatedly refuses marriage proposals from suitable men, then he is a faasiq (evildoer) and is no longer regarded as being of good character or as being a wali, rather according to the best known view of the madhhab of Imam Ahmad, he also forfeits the right to lead prayers and it is not valid to offer any congregational prayer behind him. This is a serious matter.

Some people, as we have referred to above, refuse offers of marriage from compatible men, but the girl may feel too shy to come to the qaadi to ask for her marriage to be arranged. This is something that does happen. But she should weigh the pros and cons, and decide which has the more damaging consequences, staying without a husband and letting her wali control her life according to his mood or his whims and desires, and when she grows old and no longer wants to get married, then he will arrange her marriage, or going to the qaadi and asking him to arrange her marriage because that is her right according to sharee’ah.

Undoubtedly the second alternative is preferable, which is that she should go to the qaadi and ask him to arrange her marriage, because she has the right to that, and because her going to the qaadi and his arranging her marriage serves the interests of others too, because others will come just as she has, and her coming to the qaadi will serve as a deterrent to those who wrong those whom Allaah has put under their care and prevent them from marrying compatible men. In other words, this serves three purposes:

1. The woman’s own interests, so that she will not stay without a husband.

2. The interests of others, because it will open the door for women who are waiting for someone to set a precedent they can follow.

3. Preventing those oppressive walis who make decisions for their daughters or other women under their guardianship according to their own moods or what they themselves want.

This also serves the purpose of establishing the command of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who said: “If there comes to you (to propose marriage to your daughter) one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter) to him, for if you do not do that, there will be fitnah (tribulation) on earth and widespread corruption.”

It also serves a specific interest, which is arranging marriages for those who are suitable in terms of religious commitment and character, thus protecting them from going astray and falling into haraam.

Quoted from Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/148.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen also said:

Would that we could reach a level where a woman can dare, if her father refuses to let her marry one who is suitable in terms of religious commitment and character, to go to the qaadi and he could say, “Arrange her marriage or I will do it, or a guardian other than you will do it.” Because this is the girl’s right, if her father refuses to arrange her marriage (it is her right to complain to the qaadi). This is her right according to sharee’ah. Would that we could reach this level, but shyness keeps most girls from doing that.

(www.islam-qa.com)
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Umm Safiya
07-19-2006, 12:55 PM
:sl:

Jazak Allâhu khayr..

What is a qaadi?
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Mawaddah
07-19-2006, 01:21 PM
^ Judge
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amirah_87
07-19-2006, 01:24 PM
ass salaamu alaykum

jazaakallaahu khayr :peace:
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Umm Safiya
07-19-2006, 01:42 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Mawaddah
^ Judge
:sl:

Jazak Allâhu khayr ukhti.. :sister:
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Umar001
07-19-2006, 01:58 PM
Salam Aleykum,

For anyone interested in reading on marriage, but is just stepping into the world of Islamic rulings and so forth, I would reccomend a very, basic and encouraging book again by the same Scholar as above, named a Concise Manual to Marriage or so, it has divisions in the books and a recap page at the end of each session, which asks multiple answer question, it is great for kids or reverts or anyone who has never read much about marriage, it is only an introductury book, thus it is small, if you want more info, I can type up some pages of it to show how the flow of the book is.

Anyhow, I have enjoyed it, and it has helped me want to read more about marriage, also has not overburned me as a revert. It is also something you can read again and again and go back to for a reminder.


Salam Aleykum,
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BlissfullyJaded
07-19-2006, 06:53 PM
:sl:

*Threads Merged as they are both related topics*

Jazakallah khair brother Dawud_uk. :)
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sweetbanana86
07-20-2006, 02:48 AM
wa alaikum salam and thanks for the response but now see my problem is have a wali sorta, my father but my mother already stated she will not agree to any brother my father gives as a prospect becuz my father is of a different sect.................i know what you are going to say but there is only one ummah how can there be more then one sect, i already tried explaining that to my mother


second my brother in law is also looking for husbands for me but how i can't i meet these brothers if i have no wali
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lolwatever
07-20-2006, 02:51 AM
salams sis.. if your dad is willing to go ahead even without ur mum's support... and as long as the "sect" the brother u wanna marry is not a misguided one (put simply as long as the bro u hav in mind is following QURAN and SUNNAH) then GOOOOOO for it and inshalah ur mum will get over it.. and if she doesn't, it's still your right and just be really ncie and all to her even tho she might threat to cut ties and what not....

but the keyword is 'sect'... its nto a nice word to use, but instaed of looking at wat sect he is.. make sure he is following what Allah and the messenger have to say.. nevermind name calling coz it stinks.
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