I got this off another thread sister, hope you benefit from it insha'Allaah.
Theres alot of people that have experienced the same thing as you. Like, you start off really young practisin wit your family, buh as time goez by - you get older, get new mates and you think to yourself, why do i have to go through all this islamic stuff, its na getin me nowhere and 'i can do it when i'm older.'
This is a big mistake alot of the muslims, and even non muslims fall into - most people think they gna live forever, but shaytan distracts the person and makes them think that they 'can do it tomorrow.' But what if we don't be alive by then?
And could you but see when the guilty shall hang down their heads before their Lord (on al qiyamah): Our Lord! we have seen and we have heard, therefore send us back, we will do good; surely (now) we are certain.
So first of all, you need to change your intention to make yourself believe that you wna have a new start. So - make a clean intention that you wna make a new start, buh if your afraid of that (because its a total change) - just make a simple intention that you wna learn more about islam, so you can get a better understanding of it, with an open heart:
O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy.
Some people are brought up learnin alot about islam, buh they don't experience the proper joy of it because once their older - they wna experience the same things ery1 else is experiencing. And when you're a kid, you don't really have that freedom, and your parents are your only role-models, thats the only reason you wna follow them.
So, this time - make your intention that you wna get a better understandin of islam, you know the basics already - but u wna find out why you gota recite the qur'an, instead of telling yourself that its a sin if you don't read it [like parents might have said]. But instead focus on the more deeper side to it, tell yourself that its a way to get guidance Allaah subhanahu wa ta'aala wen u need help, and you're doing it for your own soul, which can lead a person to jannah insha'Allaah ta'aala.
So your first step is your niyyah (intention) to get a better understanding of islam.
Your doing it out of your own freewill; no-ones forcing you, but you want to study islam, a sign that Allaah azawajal wants to guide you to the straight path again (because He knows theres something good inside of you.)
(Qur'an 2:256) There is no compulsion in religion, for the right way is clearly from the wrong way. Whoever therefore rejects the forces of evil and believes in God, he has taken hold of a support most unfailing, which shall never give way, for God is All Hearing and Knowing.
When you were young; you may have heard stories from the Qur'an and Sunnah, but you never experienced reading/understanding them first hand.
So this time, you going to focus on trying to understand by directly reading from the Qur'an and Sunnah, instead of someone else paraphrasing it for you. This way, you'll get a more better understanding of islam (through your personal perspective) and if you ever be unsure of anything, then you can easily ask off this forum and we'll try our best to find you answers with daleel (evidence.) insha'Allaah.
Family is gna play a big part in what happens in your life, and your friends will too.
Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his beloved family) really emphasised on how your friends affect what kind of person you are:
“The example of a good companion and a bad one is the bearer of musk and the worker on the bellows. A bearer of musk would give you some, you might buy some from him, or you might enjoy the fragrance of his musk. The worker on the bellows, on the other hand, might spoil your clothes with sparks from his bellows, or you get a bad smell from him.”
(Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim, this version being Muslim’s)you can read the explanation of the above hadith from the following link insha Allaah:
so to simplify the hadith (saying of our beloved Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi
waSalam) up; is to say that the people a person hangs out with; affects that person.
the example used is of a musk seller and a furnace blower. so by being with the musk seller, he may give you some musk so you may smell nice and people will like you for that.
whereas if you be with the furnace blower - he may even burn your clothes or you may get a bad smell from him. so you may get hurt while hanging out with the wrong crowd and you may get a bad reputation due to the acts of the bad people you hang around with.
Once you start making more muslimah (female muslims) your friends - you'll realise they'll have a better influence to you insha Allaah, because they will have the same aim as you - to become a better muslim, and will try to commit as less sins insha Allaah.
Even if you cant make alot of mates, maybe because of where you live - its important you stay in a more islamic environment, so maybe even the forum could be that environment insha Allaah. (God willing.)
If you start focusing more on wanting to become a really good muslimah - Allaah the Most Merciful will know your intention - that you do want to do good, and practice islam in your life (because islam is a way of life) and Allaah the Most Beneficial will help you through that insha Allaah.
Obviously, you gna feel guilty of what has happened. How you changed from being good, to bad, and you might feel that you can't focus on islam again - because you need that spark to start it off.
So start with the niyyah, then try to focus on an area that interests you the most and relate it to islam (see the islamic perspective to it.) And gradually, this topic will lead to other subjects which may interest you.
For example; if you don't agree with something that may be haraam, then check the reason for why it is haraam. Allaah azawajal doesn't want to put pressure on us to make things sin, but that thing may harm us, and that is the reason for them being haraam, makruh etc. Theres wisdom behind everything in islam, so look for the reason behind it, but most importantly: remember to keep your heart open to it, and if you get confused - ask, insha'Allaah.
You probably still feel really guilty, but its really important to remember that Allaah the Most Merciful's forgiveness is so great, greater than you can imagine..
Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his beloved family) narrated that Allaah the Most Merciful said:
O son (or daughter) of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son (or daughter) of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son (or daughter) of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.
(Hadith Qudsi - 34)
Now do you see how Merciful our Lord is? you have to remember that as long as you are living, you still have time to ask for forgiveness and to repent, but you also have to keep in mind that you dont know how long your going to live - so make sure you do repent fast and make it sincere so you dont try to commit that sin no more.
After you've asked for this forgiveness sincerely.. our Most Merciful Lord tells us:
...Allaah will change the evil of such persons into good, and God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (25:70)
Now how lucky is that! :eek:
..and Allaah is the Source of All Strength.