The righteous wife

[madeenahsh]

The righteous wife is the one whom the messenger of Allaah, salallahu alaihi wa salam, advised should be obtained from the beginning. As aboo hurayrah, radiyallaahu anhu, narrated from the prophet, salallaahu alaihi wa salam, that he said,

"A woman is married for four reasons: for her wealth; for her lineage; for her beeauty; and for her religion (deen). So marry the one who is good in her religion (deen) - may your hands be covered in dust."

(reported by al-bukhaaree and muslim)


Attributes of the righteous wife - part 1 of 2

1. Devotion and obedience to Allaah, the Most High, such that she fulfils His rights, such as prayer, fasting, chastity, covering herself, withholding her gaze and so on.

2. Obedience to her husband in that which does not involve disobedience to Allaah, the Most High, such that she fulfils his rights completely.

3. That she guards and preserves herself and her honour, in the absence of her husband, from the hand of anyone wishing to touch her, the eye of anyone to look upon her, the ear of anyone wishing to listen to her.

Likewise that she preserves her husbands children, home and wealth. Allaah, the Most High, says:

“Therefore the righteous women are obedient to Allaah and their husbands, and guard that which Allaah has ordered them to guard (their chastity and their husbands property) in the absence of their husbands.” surah an-nisaa’ 4:34.

The prophet, salallaahu alaihi wa salam said, ‘if a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (i.e. ramadaan), guards her private parts, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her, ‘enter paradise through whichever of the gates of paradise you wish.” [1]

4. Serving her husband. First of all by carrying out what is required in his house, such as bringing up and educating the children, preparing the meals and the beds and so on.

From husayn ibn mihsann who said that my paternal aunt said, “I came to Allah’s messenger, salallaahu alaihi wa salam for some need, so he asked, ‘you there! are you married?’ I replied, ‘yes.’ he then asked how are you towards your husband?’ she responded, ‘I do not fall short in his service except with regard to what I am unable to do.’ he said, ‘then look to your standing with him, for indeed he is your paradise and your fire.’” [2]

Here is an example of how asmaa’ bint abee bakr, radiyallahu anhumaa, served her husband. she said “az-zubayr married me and he did not have any property or slaves or anything upon the earth except for a camel which drew water from the well and his horse. so I used to feed his horse, draw the water, stitch his water bucket, and prepare the dough, but I was not proficient in baking bread – so ladies from the ansaar who were my neighbours and were honourable used to bake the bread for me. I also used to carry the date stones upon my head, from the land given to az-zubayr by Allah’s messenger, salallahu alaihi wa salam, and a group of the ansaar were with him. so he called me and said, ‘ikh, ikh.’ [3] in order to carry me behind him upon the camel. but I felt shy to proceed along with the men, and I thought of az-zubayr and his sense of jealousy, and he was one of the most jealous of the people. so Allah’s messenger, salallahi alaihi wa salam, saw my shyness and so passed on. so I came to az-zubayr and said, ‘Allah’s messenger salallahu alaihi wa salam, met me while I was carrying the date stones upon my head and with him were a group of his companions. he caused his riding camel to kneel, but I felt shy and remembered your sense of jealousy.’ so he said, ‘by Allaah your having to carry the date stones is harder upon me than that you should ride along with him.’” she said, “then later on aboo bakr sent me a servant to look after the horse, so it was as if he had set me free.” [4]

The scholars differ with regard to the ruling about women serving her husband. shaykul-islaam ibn taymiyyah said, the scholars differed about whether she has to serve her husband with regard to the like of household bedding preparing food and drinks, baking the bread, grinding the corn, and providing food for his slaves and cattle – such as providing fodder for his riding beast and so on.

“Some of them say: it is not obligatory for her to serve him – and this is a weak saying, like the weakness of the saying that it is not obligatory upon her to live together with him and have intercourse with him! however what is correct is that it is obligatory to serve him, since the husband is her master according to the book of Allaah, and she is captive with him according to the Sunnah of the prophet, salallaahu alaihi wa salam, [5] and the captive and the slave have to serve – and this is something known.

...the saying of Allaah, the Most High,

“Therefore the righteous women are obedient to Allaah and their husbands, and guard that which Allaah has ordered them to guard (their chastity and their husbands property) in the absence of their husbands.” surah an-nisaa 4:34

“This aayah shows that it is obligatory upon her to serve her husband unrestrictedly, including: serving him, travelling along with him, making herself available to him, and so on – just as it is obligatory to obey the parents, since the obedience due from her to the parents transfers to the husband.” [6]

5. Keeping the husbands secrets. Particularly what occurs between him and her in private – with regard to sexual matters and the private affairs within the marriage. disclosing the husbands secrets will hurt him and anger him and this contradicts obedience to him and seeking to please him. furthermore preserving his secrets is one of the duties of the righteous and obedient women, as described in the saying of Allaah,

“Guarding that which (Allaah has commanded them to guard) in the absence of their husbands,” surah an-nisaa 4:34

Part of their guarding what they are to guard in the absence of their husbands is that they should not broadcast their secrets.

From asmaa bint yazeed, radiyallahu anhaa, who said that she was in the company of Allah’s messenger, salallahu alaihi wa salam, and the men and women were sitting, and he, salallaahu alaihi wa salam, said, “perhaps a man mentions that which he did with his wife, and perhaps a woman informs of what she does with her husband?!” so the people were silent, so I said, “yes, by Allaah, o messenger of Allaah! the women certainly do that, and the men certainly do that.” he, salallahu alaihi wa salam, said, “then do not do so, since that is just like a male devil meeting a female devil upon the way, and he has intercourse with her while the people are watching.” [7]

6. She should appear before the husband in the best appearance, such that if he looks at her it pleases him.

aboo hurayrah, radiyallahu anhu, narrates the messenger of Allaah, sallaahu alaihi wa salam, was asked, “ which of the women is the best?” he replied, “ the one who gives him [8] pleasure when he looks; [9] obeys him when he orders; and does not go against his wishes with regard to herself or her wealth by doing that which he dislikes.” [10]

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Footnotes:

[1] saheeh due to supporting narrations as has preceeded.

[2] reported by al-hakim (2/189) and others, he declared it saheeh and adh-dhahaabee agreed; and shaykh al-albaaneewith them in aadaabuz-zifaaf (p.285).

[3] a word said to make the camel kneel down.

[4] reported by al-bukhaaree (eng. transl. 7/111/no.151) and muslim (eng. transl. 3/1190/no. 5417) and others.

[5] as the messenger of Allaah, salallahu alaihi wa salam, said in the sermon of the farewell pilgrimage, ”...treat your women well, for they are captives with you.” reported with this wording by at-tirmidhee(no. 1163) and he said, “hasan saheeh.” and ibn maajah (no. 1851). declared strong by al-albaanee in irwaa’ul ghaleel(7/52).

[6] majmoo’ al-fataawaa(abridged) (34/90).

[madeenahsh]

Attributes of the righteous wife- part 2 of 2

7. She should not spend any of his wealth or her wealth except with his permission.

from ‘abdullah ibn ‘amr ibn al-‘aas, radiyallahu anhu, who said that Allah’s messenger, salallahu alaihi wa salam, said, “ it is not permissible for a woman to give a gift except with the permission of her husband.” [11]

al-albaanee said, “however it is not becoming for the husband – if he is a sincere Muslim – that he should use this ruling to play the tyrant with his wife and prevent her from utilising her wealth in a manner which not harm either of them. indeed this right is very similar to the right of the girls guardian – who is such that she cannot her herself married except with his permission. but if he unjustly prevents her, then the matter is raised to the islamic judge for justice to be attained. likewise is the ruling with regard to a woman’s wealth if her husband oppresses her and prevents her from spending her wealth in lawful and prescribed manner – then the judge will also bring justice for her. so there is no problem with the ruling itself, rather the problem is how it is misused.” [12]

8. She should no permit anyone to enter her husbands house except with his permission.

from aboo hurayrah, radiyallahu anhu who said that the messenger of Allaah, salallahu alaihi wa salam said, “it is not permissible for a woman to fast when her husband is present except with his permission; nor may she permit anyone to enter his house except with his permission; and whatever she spends in charity without his order – then half of the reward is for him.” [13]

9. She should not ask her husband for divorce without a reason of necessitating that.

from thawbaan, radiyallahu anhu, who said that the messenger of Allaah, salallahu alaihi wa salam, said, “whichever woman asks for her husband for divorce with our a strong reason – then the fragrance of paradise will be forbidden for her.” [14]

10. Avoidance of cursing.

aboo sa’eed al-khudree, radiyallahu anhu, said “the messenger of Allaah, salallahu alaihi wa salam, went out to the prayer ground for the (prayer of) adhaa or fitr, and he passed by the women and said, ‘o women! give in charity, for I have been shown that you shall be the majority of the people of the first,’ so they asked, ‘why is that, o messenger of Allaah?’ he replied, ‘you curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands.’” [15]

11. Being thankful to the husband for the good he does and for his treatment of his wife.

this is accomplished by good words, and by her obedience to him in what is good, and by not forgetting his good treatment and avoiding denying this, since that is one of the reasons which brings about entry into the fire.

from ibn ‘abbaas, radiyallahu anhu, who said that the prophet, salallahu alaihi wa salam, said “I was shown the fire and found that the majority of its inhabitants were women, due to ingratitude. it was said: “is it that they disbelieve in Allaah?” he said: they are ungrateful to their husbands and deny the good they do. if you were to treat one of them well always, and she then saw something (displeasing) from you she would say: ‘I have never seen any good from you.’” [16]

Allah’s messenger, salallahu alaihi wa salam, said, “Allaah will not look at a woman who is not thankful to her husband and she cannot do without him.” [17]

12. She should not remove her clothes outside her husbands house.

Allah’s messenger, sallahu alaihi wa salam, said, “whichever woman removes her clothes in other than her house, then Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic, will tear down His cover from her.” [18]

al-manaawee said, “Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic, will tear down His cover from her’ since because she has failed to take care of waht she has been commanded with regard to covering herself from strangers, then this is the recompense she receives, the recompense being of the type of the actions, what is apparent is that removal of her clothing means uncovering herself to strange males, for the purpose of sexual intercourse or that which leads to it. As opposed to the case if she were to remove her clothes amongst women, whilst covering her private parts, since there is no reason for that to enter into this warning.” [19]

13. Striving to please the husband by every possible means.

The hadeeth has already preceded containing the saying of the righteous wife, “...i will not taste sleep until you are pleased (with me).”

There also occurs in al-kabaa’ir of adh-dhahabee, “what is obligatory upon the woman is that she seeks the pleasure of her husband, and avoids angering him, and does not refuse him whenever he wants her. The woman must also know that she is like a slave to her husband, so she should not do anything affecting herself or her husbands wealth except with his permission. She should give precedence to his rights over her rights, and the rights of his relatives over the rights of her relatives, and she should keep herself clean and be ready for him to enjoy her. She should not boast at his expense of her beauty, not rebuke him for any ugliness found in him. The woman must also be always modest and reserved in the presence of her husband, lower her eyes in front of him, obey his commands, remain silent when he speaks, keep far away from everything which angers him, avoid treachery when he is absent, with regard to his bed, his wealth and his house. She should ensure that her aroma is pleasant, be accustomed to using musk and perfume and cleaning her mouth with siwaak. She should be constant in adorning herself in his presence and not when he is absent. She should treat his family and relatives honourably, and consider something small from him as something great.”’ [20]

----------------------------------------------------------------
Footnotes:

[7] reported by ahmad (6/456) and there are witnessing narrations which raise it to the level of being saheeh or hasan at the very least. These are mentioned by al-albaanee in aadaabuz zifaaf (p.144).

[8] i.e the husband.

[9] meaning when he looks at her outer beauty, or at the inner beauty of her good character and how she devotes herself to obedience to Allaah and taqwaa...(as-sindees commentary on an-nasaa’ee).

[10] reported by an-nasaa’ee (6/68), al-hakim (2/61) and ahmad (2/251, 432 and 438). al-hakim said, “saheeh to the standard of muslim” and adh-dhahaabee agreed. al-iraaqee declared its chain of narration to be saheeh in takhreejul-ihyaa’ (2/39) and al-albaanee declares it hasan in as-saheehah (4/453).

[11] reported with this wording by aboo daawood (eng. transl. 2/1007/no. 3540), an-nasaa’ee (5/65-66) and ahmad (2.179&184). al-albaanee declares it hasan in as-saheehah (2/493).

[12] silsilatul ahaadeethis saheehah (2/420).

[13] reported by al-bukhaaree (eng. transl. 7/94/no.123) and muslim (eng. transl. 2/491/no.2238).

[14] reported by aboo daawood (eng. transl. 2/600/no.2218). at-tirmidhee (no.1187) who declared it hasan, ad-daarimee (2/1620, ibn maajah (no, 2055) and others. al-albaanee declares it to be saheeh to the standard of muslim in al-irwaa’ (7/100).

[15] reported by al-bukhaaree (eng. transl. 1/181/no.301 & 2/313/no.541) and muslim (eng. transl. 2/418/no.1931) and others.

[16] reported by al-bukhaaree (eng. transl. 1/29/no.28; 2/91-92/no.16 & 7/95-96/no.125) and muslim (eng. transl. 2/431/no.1982) and others.

[17] silsilatul ahaadeethis-saheehah (no.289).

[18] reported by al-haakim (4/289) and others, and it occurs in saheehul-jaami’(no.2708).

[19] faydul-qadeer (3/147).

[20] pp.188-190, abridged.


__________________

[Umm Yoosuf]

Masha Allah!

Keep up the good work!

May Allah reward you.

[Khaldun]

:sl:

JazzakAllah khair fi dunya wal akheerah for the post

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[Angel24]

MASHALLAH....
very nice and truth...

[Tilmeez]

Mashallh ... very nice.... Allah taa'la may reward u for this effort

[S]KEEP IT UP [/S] WE SHALL WAIT FOR MORE.

[cookie_doh]

mashallah!!!

[nurul3eyn]

MASHA'ALLAH
Lets follow the path of the best women who lived in the best generation and got nurtured in the house of Prophethood. They are women of high status and outstanding estimation. Allaah praises them in the Qur’aan where He says [translation of meaning]....

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.” (Al-Ahzaab 33:32)

Prophet (PBUH)said:
“Many men attained perfection, but only three women attained it: Maryam, daughter of ‘Imraan [Jesus’ mother], Aasiyah, Pharaoh’s wife and Khadeejah bint Khuwaylid.” (Ibn Mardooyah)


May Allah make us those who he chose to give the glad tiding of a house in Paradise. Ameen

[soraia]

:sl:
mashallah thank you :)
:w:

:sister:

[nikki]

assalam alaikum wr wb

i think a woman to obey her husband is fard in some aspects as stated in Quran and Sunnah.

so lets no argue ummah this was a good post may we take some heed.....
the ummah are falling apart enough as it is we need to unite not critisise...

take care and barrak allahu fikrum
assalam alaikum wr wb xxx

[james]

seems you are well under MAN'S thumb......A WOMAN OR A MAN SHOULD MARRY for love not for religious reasons......and regarding obeying your husband.....DONT YOU HAVE your own thoughts..are you a slave to the male species?.....EQUALITY is a normal thing..but some woman are blinded by religious scholars OBVIOUSLY.......and PLEASE dont quote anything.....thats what bringS these problems about in the first place.....

[Umu 'Isa]

no we are not under a mans thumb james.. Marrying for love in islam is forbidden. I mean a woman and a man can't talk without a wali present unless they have a reason, which prevents a lot of problems that are current in the west (eg. premarital sex, babies born outside of marriage ect.) This is what Allah swt prescribed for us.
SubhanAllah

[Bittersteel]

I know who is a righteous wife the thing is there aren't any these days.Muslim shave become corrupt.

[DaSangarTalib]

:sl:

Masha'allah good post

Jazaka'allah khair fo sharin :)

:w:

[iqbal_ibn_adam]

seems you are well under MAN'S thumb......A WOMAN OR A MAN SHOULD MARRY for love not for religious reasons......and regarding obeying your husband.....DONT YOU HAVE your own thoughts..are you a slave to the male species?.....EQUALITY is a normal thing..but some woman are blinded by religious scholars OBVIOUSLY.......and PLEASE dont quote anything.....thats what bringS these problems about in the first place.....

What the he** are u talking about, can u tell me are a muslim or not. Because one minute u saying u dnt know much about deen and nx minute u saying things like this.
My advice to u is study Al-Islam first than pass on judgements like this if u think u will be able to justify it to Allah swt on the day of judgement.

Some shayuks from past used to think twice before they used to give a fatwa, and our knowledge is nothing compare to them. So keep this in mind nx time inshA

[nurul3eyn]

Attributes of the righteous wife- part 2 of 2
...
QUOTE EDITED: Please avoid quoting very long posts as it wastes space.

:sl:
This world is nothing but temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this world is a righteous woman.” you forgot to mention that one sis very importante :okay:
:w:

[Malaikah]

seems you are well under MAN'S thumb......A WOMAN OR A MAN SHOULD MARRY for love not for religious reasons......and regarding obeying your husband.....DONT YOU HAVE your own thoughts..are you a slave to the male species?.....EQUALITY is a normal thing..but some woman are blinded by religious scholars OBVIOUSLY.......and PLEASE dont quote anything.....thats what bringS these problems about in the first place.....

:sl:

really this is a delicate issue and if people dont use the appropriate wording and approach, then it ends up sounding like the wife is a slave to her husband, which she isnt. I especially dislike how in the last paragraph it was actually said that the wife is like a slave to her husband.

While it is true that the husband has the final say, the wife does have the right to voice her opinion and to be involved in matters of decision making. The husband and wife function togther as a unit.

and dont forget the hadith of the prophet (pbuh): The best of you are those who are best to their wives.

:w:

p.s. i reckon you should follow this link, it is not specifically about marriage but it touches on the issue: http://islamtoday.com/showme2.cfm?ca...sub_cat_id=664

[arehat]

As a wife your duty is to obey your hubby at all times as long as it's not agat the sharia. I personnaly have always wanted to learn to drive but my hubby has his reasons for it and i respect them so i decided to leave the issue.

By obeying his deccions makes a marrige much stronger and blissfull.

[nikki]

004.034 الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنْفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ وَاللاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا

004.034 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).

Al-Qur'an, 004.034 (An-Nisa [Women])

Text Copied from DivineIslam's Qur'an Viewer software v2.9

THIS is my evidence from the Quran that women should obey, IF for an islamic basis NOT if the husband is going against Allah. There are many hadeeth which explain the ways in which we should obey our husbands.... i pray this helps you "Ameen"<------- thus i did not lie

wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

[Snowflake]

Surah An-Nisa (4:34) < the righteous women are devoutly obedient*

This isn't the same as saying that women should without any qualms obey their husbands.

"The righteous women are devout (qanitat) and guard what Allah has willed to be guarded even though out of sight."

Qanit means one who is devoted to someone and out of love and devotion obeys him or her. Outside of the present verse the word in its various forms, occurs seven times and is used of both men and women. In six out of these seven places, the object of devotion and obedience is understood to be God, in one place it is God and His Messenger. For this reason qanitat may simply mean "devoted to God". In view of the context, the idea of devotion and obedience to the husband may also be read into the word.



Since men are qawwamun over their wives, they must have some authority to make decisions, for a person cannot be an effective guardian or maintainer of someone without having some decision making authority. And whenever there is legitimate decision-making authority on one side, there is some necessity of obedience from the other. In Hadith there are many traditions which encourage women to be obedient to their husbands. Some of these traditions are no doubt forged, being attempts by later Muslims to subjugate their women(1), but others look authentic(2). Thus the Qur'an and Hadith do teach that women should obey their husbands. But this "should" is not a "should" of moral or religious obligation. The Qur'an and authentic ahadith do not command women to be obedient to their husbands, so that it is not a sin on their part if they sometime do not listen to their husbands. The Qur'an and Hadith consider obedience to the husband as simply a desirable quality of the wife.

Regards

[nikki]

salaam alaikum
i am not saying we have to obey EVERYTHING i have said some aspects we should others we shouldnt... i do not wish to continue this argument- it is good to do so as at the feet of our spouse is Jannah- i mean this for wife or husband- i merely brought the evidence i was asked....
the fact we are so divided over this matter is funny and we all have our own opinions on this.
once again ukhti jazakallah khair & barrak allahu fiki for starting the thread.

wa salaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

[Fatimab]

mashaALLAH

[Muhammad]

:sl:

The issue of obeying one's husband can be found in both the Qur'an and the Sunnah. For discussions on the authenticity of hadeeth and their importance, please refer to the following threads:

Uloomul-Hadeeth

[General Article] Indispensibility of Hadith

[General Article] The Status of the Sunnah in Islam

The entire process of gathering hadith is weak, because it was collected from the people centuries later, just how authentic can you get two centuries later? Generations later?

Please refer to this post:
http://www.islamicboard.com/133434-post15.html

If you wish to discuss the topic of hdaeeth in more depth, then please continue the discussion in a seperate thread as it is not appropriate to begin in this current thread.

The mere existence of this thread, discussing the 'right' of the husband, is all due to these discrepancies in certain hadith.

I doubt that this is true, since we have Qur'anic verses that teach us that both men and women have rights over each other.

Jazakallahu Khayr,

:w:

[Snowflake]

JazakAllah khair for the links bro. Will be reading them avidly. InshaAllah.

[ameen]

:sl:

The issue of obeying one's husband can be found in both the Qur'an and the Sunnah.

As-salamu'alaikum,

After reading this post:

http://www.islamicboard.com/178624-post44.html

Let's see if you are able to bring forward ONE - yes just one SINGLE verse to prove what you say.

If you cannot - then let your frustration teach you not to ever tell lies about the Qur'an.

[Shereen]

I wonder if "obeying" is really the appropriate word to use here. I think more in terms of respect. Men want to feel thier wives respect them and since they are the head of the household and the providers we should respect them! Maybe to some ppl its "petty" for him to ask his wife not to leave the home without him. But wouldnt it be even more petty to go against his wishes?? Doing so would show a lack of respect, it would make him angry and it would cause more trouble than its worth. The shopping center or whatever will be the same in a few hours as it is now so what does it hurt to wait? If my husband doesnt want me to go out without him, then I'd rather wait until he gets home than to go against his wishes.

[shaharoun]

:sl:
Ma'shaAllah,this is one among the good posts which I have come across since joining this forum.
My fellow brothers and sisters in Islam,Allah(S.W) has kept each and every thing open for us to follow the right path to paradise,if we will fail to enter whom will be blamed for ?.We have to follow what Allah has prescribed to us without judging using a very narrow knowledge we have.Allah the most high has prescribed all these for our own benefits and nothing will he loose or get if we disobey his orders.It must be born in our mind that billions and billions of other creatures worship Allah(angels,animals,plants,etc.}.
Also we shouldn't be angry with the replies of disbelievers and polytheists
because they not yet understand what islam is and what should they behave in issues prescribed by Allah,but we have to use this chance to educate them what Islam is by giving them the true facts and sometimes the wickness of their beliefs.If Allah wills insha'Allah they will embrass islam in the time to come.
:w:

[Bertsura]

Why do these orders about being "righteous" only specific to women? Shouldn't a husband also be a righteous husband? Shouldn't a man also be obedient, honest, loving to his wife? If so, then these orders shouldn't only apply to "righteous wives" but also to "righteous husbands". Islam shouldn't have a double standard when it comes to these things. Otherwise, you are saying that Islamic women are less capable than men, which is unacceptible.

[iqbal_ibn_adam]

Why do these orders about being "righteous" only specific to women? Shouldn't a husband also be a righteous husband? Shouldn't a man also be obedient, honest, loving to his wife? If so, then these orders shouldn't only apply to "righteous wives" but also to "righteous husbands". Islam shouldn't have a double standard when it comes to these things. Otherwise, you are saying that Islamic women are less capable than men, which is unacceptible.

This thread is only dealing about THE RIGHTEOUS WIFE, so that doesn't mean their ain't ay orders for men.

Allah (swt) says in various verses of Al-Quran that men and women are equal. so how can u say there are double standards, i advice you to look up before you say sumfing nx time.

[Bertsura]

This thread is only dealing about THE RIGHTEOUS WIFE, so that doesn't mean their ain't ay orders for men.

Allah (swt) says in various verses of Al-Quran that men and women are equal. so how can u say there are double standards, i advice you to look up before you say sumfing nx time.

I never said that there weren't any orders for men. I'm just saying that "righteousness" is not exclusive to just women, unlike what the title and message of the opening post suggest. There should be no distinction between a righteous wife and a righteous husband. Again, the virtues of honesty, goodness, and respect are virtues all people, not just Muslims, both men and women, should strive for. You could have entitled it "the righteous Muslim" or whatever.

[Muhammad]

:sl:

As-salamu'alaikum,

After reading this post:

http://www.islamicboard.com/178624-post44.html

Let's see if you are able to bring forward ONE - yes just one SINGLE verse to prove what you say.

If you cannot - then let your frustration teach you not to ever tell lies about the Qur'an.

Before I attempt to respond to your post, I hope that you have been so kind as to have read the links I gave you. If so, we can begin to understand the importance of the hadeeth and how they are used to explain the Qur'an, alongside the explanations from the Qur'an itself.

I looked at the post that was linked to by brother Companion, and it seems we have a slight confusion with the context to which the verses are referring, or what they mean exactly. I hope you will therefore agree that people with little knowledge are not to interpret the Qur'an according to their own limited understanding, but should refer matters to people of knowledge, s the Qur'an states:

[4.83] And when there comes to them news of security or fear they spread it abroad; and if they had referred it to the Apostle and to those in authority among them, those among them who can search out the knowledge of it would have known it, and were it not for the grace of Allah upon you and His mercy, you would have certainly followed the Shaitan save a few

Please have a look at the following verse of the Qur'an, and read its explanation by Ibn Katheer (which follows).

[4.34] Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.


Qualities of the Righteous Wife


Allah said,

[فَالصَّـلِحَـتُ]

(Therefore, the righteous) women,

[قَـنِتَـتٍ]

(are Qanitat), obedient to their husbands, as Ibn `Abbas and others stated.

[حَـفِظَـتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ]

(and guard in the husband's absence) As-Suddi and others said that it means she protects her honor and her husband's property when he is absent, and Allah's statement,

[بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ]

(what Allah orders them to guard.) means, the protected [husband] is the one whom Allah protects. Ibn Jarir recorded that Abu Hurayrah said that the Messenger of Allah said,

«خَيْرُ النِّسَاءِ امْرَأَةٌ إِذَا نَظَرْتَ إِلَيْهَا سَرَّتْكَ، وَإِذَا أَمَرْتَهَا أَطَاعَتْكَ، وَإِذَا غِبْتَ عَنْهَا حَفِظَتْكَ فِي نَفْسِهَا وَمَالِك»

(The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.) Then, the Messenger of Allah recited the Ayah,

[الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَآءِ]

(Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, ) until its end. Imam Ahmad recorded that `Abdur-Rahman bin 'Awf said that the Messenger of Allah said,

«إِذَا صَلَّتِ الْمَرْأَةُ خَمْسَهَا، وَصَامَتْ شَهْرَهَا، وَحَفِظَتْ فَرْجَهَا، وَأَطَاعَتْ زَوْجَهَا، قِيلَ لَهَا: ادْخُلِي الْجَنَّةَ مِنْ أَيِّ الْأَبْوَابِ شِئْت»
(If the woman prayed her five daily prayers, fasted her month, protected her chastity and obeyed her husband, she will be told, 'Enter Paradise from any of its doors you wish.')

Here is an article on the ayah: http://www.load-islam.com/C/Women/TafsirAyah34

We also have another article here:
http://www.islamicboard.com/marriage...r-husband.html

:w:

[ameen]

As-salamu'alaikum,

I have shown you - using Qur'anic evidence - that 'Qanitat' in verse 4:34 is CLEARLY talking about obedience to Allah.

Now that you decide to follow those who change worship of Allah to worship of husbands, in order to follow men's desires, you have associated partners with Allah - in other words this is SHIRK - there is no other word for it.

If, knowingly, you follow this - you are in essence commiting shirk/polytheism.


The Hadith play a major role in the division of Islam into sects and corruption of Islam using patriarchal fabrication.

[Muhammad]

Wa Alaykum Assalaam,

In the first article I referred you to, by Dr. Ahmad Shafaat, it explains the meaning of the word Qanitat:

Qanit means one who is devoted to someone and out of love and devotion obeys him or her. Outside of the present verse the word in its various forms, occurs seven times and is used of both men and women. In six out of these seven places, the object of devotion and obedience is understood to be God, in one place it is God and His Messenger. For this reason qanitat may simply mean "devoted to God". In view of the context, the idea of devotion and obedience to the husband may also be read into the word.


Since men are qawwamun over their wives, they must have some authority to make decisions, for a person cannot be an effective guardian or maintainer of someone without having some decision making authority. And whenever there is legitimate decision-making authority on one side, there is some necessity of obedience from the other. In Hadith there are many traditions which encourage women to be obedient to their husbands. Some of these traditions are no doubt forged, being attempts by later Muslims to subjugate their women(1), but others look authentic(2). Thus the Qur'an and Hadith do teach that women should obey their husbands. But this "should" is not a "should" of moral or religious obligation. The Qur'an and authentic ahadith do not command women to be obedient to their husbands, so that it is not a sin on their part if they sometime do not listen to their husbands. The Qur'an and Hadith consider obedience to the husband as simply a desirable quality of the wife. Read more

And the tafseer of Ibn Katheer told us that some of the companions of the Prophet :arabic5: , including Ibn 'Abbaas; who had far better understanding of the Qur'an than any of us, understood the word in question to be referring to husbands.
This, however, as pointed out above, does not mean you worship them and obey them in wrongdoing. It is similar to the example of being dutiful to parents. Allaah says in the Qur'an:

[29.8] And We have enjoined on man goodness to his parents, and if they contend with you that you should associate (others) with Me, of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, to Me is your return, so I will inform you of what you did.

So even with parents, to whom obedience has been highly emphasised and commended in Islam; if they order us to disobey Allaah, then we are not to obey them in this regard, while still being respectful and kind to them. From this, we can understand that obeying someone is not the same as worshipping them, may Allaah protect us from that.

So while the word Qanit in the Qur'an has been used to refer to Allaah, this does not mean that it always refers to Allaah and therefore I don't quite see how it is "clear" evidence for what you say. However, I certainly don't think it is impossible for it to refer to Allaah, since that may be the opinion of others - Allaahu A'lam.

The Hadith play a major role in the division of Islam into sects and corruption of Islam using patriarchal fabrication.

In actual fact, the hadeeth play a major role in teaching us our religion and explaining the Qur'an to us. However, we need to be careful to follow the authentic hadeeth and not weak or fabricated reports, as this will undoubtedly lead to error. I hope you had a look at the links in my other post where I pointed out some relevant articles on this forum about the importance and status of the hadeeth.

:w:

[ameen]

salam,

The very article you quote froim in-facts supports what I am saying.

Did you miss this part of your quote?:

"Qanit means one who is devoted to someone and out of love and devotion obeys him or her. Outside of the present verse the word in its various forms, occurs seven times and is used of both men and women. In six out of these seven places, the object of devotion and obedience is understood to be God, in one place it is God and His Messenger..."

This makes it clear that the meaning of 'qanit' is with regards to Holy devotion - towards Allah.

Why bend the obvious meaning to conform to men's views?

[Snowflake]

Whaooo some heavy debating going on there!

While I agree that there should be mutual repect and understanding between a married couple. However, Islam is perfectly balanced in all matters. No one can dispute that.

Therefore a husband cannot order his wife in all matters. There are times when he has to/should ask or even request that she does something.

Example: "Darling can you please wait up for me til I get back around 12am." She may oblige out of love and devotion. There is nothing in Islam saying she has to do this. As Islam does not restrict us from doing what is natural. She could happily go to sleep.

But there are times when he may have to instruct her (without any sugarcoating) to do something. And she should obey that instruction.

Example: Wife answers door without covering herself appropriately. The husband has the right (and rightly so) to tell her to cover herself in these situations.

It just wouldn't be right if he came out with, "Darling, can you please cover your beautiful self when answering the door, cuz you are for my eyes only, and I hate to see other men looking at you (sigh)." Most likely the wife will mutter, "Yeah, whatever!"

It's a husband's right to tell her directly to cover herself, provided she is aware of this, but still isnt doing it. Therefore she should obey, not out of love or mutual understanding, but because he is telling her to do something that Islam tells women to do.

So, as far as I'm concerned there is nothing wrong with obeying your husband in matters of religion or with him instructing his wife. And (while the debate on 'obeying' continues) even if women have been told to obey their husband, this does not mean his every word has to be an order or her every act is without her consent. Even the Quran does not tell women to obey their husbands in all things without question. If that was the case why would consultation be recommended?

[Tasneem]

Nooooo

Islamically a woman has to listen to her husband
Unless he tells her to do something harram.
Period.

SaLaMz

[mahdisoldier19]

assalam alaikam

i had noticed sisters, that relatives of mine that get married in america over half of them actually yeah more than half have gotten divorced. So keep your Islamic value! Dont go getting divorces because your husband says dont dress like a stripper when you go into a mall!

[Snowflake]

Nooooo

Islamically a woman has to listen to her husband
Unless he tells her to do something harram.
Period.

SaLaMz

A woman should obey in matters of religion when her husband instructs her to do or not do something.

She does not have to obey him if he says "Hey! Don't eat Cheese n Onion crisps cuz I can't stand the pong!" Allah gave her the right to eat what he made halal. Who is the husband to say she can't eat this or that? Do you honestly think she should obey him there?

At that rate, no woman would get married in the first place.

Therefore a woman does not have to listen to her husband in everything he says.

[mahdisoldier19]

Hey easy on the onion chips, onion chips you dont know these days make you do wonderful things

[Tasneem]

A woman should obey in matters of religion when her husband instructs her to do or not do something.

She does not have to obey him if he says "Hey! Don't eat Cheese n Onion crisps cuz I can't stand the pong!" Allah gave her the right to eat what he made halal. Who is the husband to say she can't eat this or that? Do you honestly think she should obey him there?

At that rate, no woman would get married in the first place.

Therefore a woman does not have to listen to her husband in everything he says.

Thts not true.Now say she eats the chips and gets a heartAttack
She should have just listened.Now she died disobeying her husband.

SaLaMz:sister:

[Muhammad]

Wa Alaykum Assalaam,

The very article you quote froim in-facts supports what I am saying.

"Qanit means one who is devoted to someone and out of love and devotion obeys him or her. Outside of the present verse the word in its various forms, occurs seven times and is used of both men and women. In six out of these seven places, the object of devotion and obedience is understood to be God, in one place it is God and His Messenger..."

This makes it clear that the meaning of 'qanit' is with regards to Holy devotion - towards Allah.

The article is pointing out how the word has been used in various places to mean what you said it means, yes, but this does not mean it MUST mean that in every single place it has been used. The very next line of what you quoted reads: For this reason qanitat may simply mean "devoted to God". In view of the context, the idea of devotion and obedience to the husband may also be read into the word.

I am fully open to the possibility that it refers to obedience to Allaah, just as it could be referring to the husband as has been established by evidence.

-----

Since the discussion of this topic has taken place in three threads, I have moved some posts into the one in which it first started.
Looking through this thread, I have noticed that certain people call ahadeeth "hearsay" and disregard them as though nothing from what Muhammad :arabic5: taught us has been delivered to us. When examining hadeeth, we rely upon people devoting their entire lives to researching and classifying hadeeth into trustworthy and untrustworthy sources; in fact, there is a whole science of hadeeth in Islam and if we are to study our religion in the correct manner, we must take from both the Qur'an and the Sunnah. This is something which both of them command.

Regarding the topic at hand; I hope to make it clear that nobody is saying that a woman must obey her husband in the same way that she obeys Allaah. She has rights over her husband, and he has rights over her. If we are to discuss these in detail then I think we must first come to terms with our sources. If there are people who do not accept from hadeeth, then we need to focus on this issue first before moving on to other topics.

For a discussion on the position of the Sunnah in Islam, you can continue in the following threads:

http://www.islamicboard.com/depth-is...-shahaada.html
http://www.islamicboard.com/basics-i...an-hadith.html

For those wanting to know about the rights of the wife and husband, then we already have quite a few articles on the forum discussing both of these - a simple search should find you them Insha'Allaah.

:w:

[FatimaAsSideqah]

:sl:

I seek refuge in GOD, from Satan the rejected

In the name of GOD, Most Gracious and Most Merciful


Do Not Marry Idol Worshipers.

[2:221]. Do not marry idolatresses unless they believe; a believing woman is better than an idolatress, even if you like her. Nor shall you give your daughters in marriage to idolatrous men, unless they believe. A believing man .is better than an idolater, even if you like him. These invite to Hell, while GOD invites to Paradise and forgiveness, as He wills. He clarifies His revelations for the people, that they may take heed.


[4:21]. How could you take it back, after you have been intimate with each other, and they had taken from you a solemn pledge?


Respect for the Father.

[4:22]. Do not marry the women who were previously married to your fathers - existing marriages are exempted and shall not be broken - for it is a gross offense, and an abominable act. .


Incest Forbidden.

[4:23]. Prohibited for you (in marriage) are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, the sisters of your fathers, the sisters of your mothers, the daughters of your brother, the daughters of your sister, your nursing mothers, the girls who nursed from the same woman as you, the mothers of your wives, the daughters of your wives with whom you .have consummated the marriage - if the marriage has not .been consummated, you may marry the daughter. Also prohibited for you are the women who were married to your genetic sons. Also, you shall not be married to two sisters at the same time - but do not break up existing marriages. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful. .


Mutual Attraction And Dowry Required.

[4:24*]. Also prohibited are the women who are already married, unless they flee their disbelieving husbands who are at war with you.* These are GOD's commandments to you. All other categories are permitted for you in marriage, so long as you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain your morality, by not committing adultery. Thus, whoever you like among them, you shall pay them the dowry decreed for them. You commit no error by mutually agreeing to any adjustments to the dowry. GOD is Omniscient, Most Wise. .

*4:24 If believing women flee their disbelieving husbands who are at war with the believers, they do not have to obtain a divorce before remarriage. See 60:10.


[4:25]. Those among you who cannot afford to marry free believing women, may marry believing slave women. GOD knows best about your belief, and you are equal to one another, as far as belief is concerned. You shall obtain permission from their guardians before you marry them, and pay them their due dowry equitably. They shall maintain moral behavior, by not committing adultery, or having secret lovers. Once they are freed through marriage, if they .commit adultery, their punishment shall be half of that .for the free women.* Marrying a slave shall be a last .resort for those unable to wait. To be patient is better for you. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful. .

Insh'allah!

:w:

Fatima :sister:

[Mohammed H Kahn]

Oh ! Had I a righteous wife who would accept me as I am instead of continuously attempting to mould me as she dreamed her would-be husband to be !!

[handhuvar]

salaam
thanx a lot for the information

[hassanomar]

n the context of the family, the husband is the leader (Qawwam) of the family as defined by Allah (Quran 4:34).

However, the power of this leader, like that of all other Islamic leaders, is bound on the one hand by the Quran and Sunnah, and on the other by Shura or mutual consultation - amruhum shura bainahum (Quran 42:38).

The Muslim family, therefore, like all other Muslim institutions, formal or informal, must be run with mutual consultation.

[ummnasr]

VERy nice sis

[M H Kahn]

How righteous are the women who fight their husbands when they want to have a second wife?

[ummnasr]

May Allah guide these women, If my husband was to say im bringing home a new wife id inshaa allah welcome her with open arms , someone to help with the house work

[M H Kahn]

May Allah guide these women, If my husband was to say im bringing home a new wife id inshaa allah welcome her with open arms , someone to help with the house work

:sl:
I think that waging a war by an existing wife against her husband to prevent him from having a second wife (out of jealousy only) is tantamount to waging a war against God's ordainment. Such a woman as well as the people in general who invent shame in having more than one wife are likely to fall in the category of 'Kafirs', ' Fasiqs' and 'Zalims' as per the verses 44. 45 and 47 of Surah Al- Mayeda.

[mbaig]

Mashallah , Really a great piece of information. May allah bless us so that we all can pass the knowledge to every single muslim in this world.

[extinction]

very informative...a must read for all sisters

[madeenahsh]

[QUOTE]that was very useful info sis! mash'allah. fanks 4 sharin it

we need an article on th righteous husband too. caus certain peopl av taken it in th wrong way, if u know wat i mean. an we kinda need 2 sit um down and remind em of ther rights as a wife. and giv em a pat on ther back....know wat i mean?


Asalaam alykumw arahamtullahi wabarakatuh sis
I have posted some articles sometime back please check it inshAllaah

[salafiah]

mashallah

[Muslimaatan]

Mashaa'Allah..very nice!!

[muslimah_here]

:sl:
BOTH HUSBAND N WIFE HAVE RIGHTS over each other, this saying is wrong that islam tells woman not to demand for her rights n just keep fulfiling the righs of her husband, as far as I know husband has no right over her wifes income or wealth she can spend lawfully as she pleases, it upto her whethr shes wants to contributing toward household finances, financial provision is fard on husbands not wives. a wife has the right to demand for the same liestyle shes had at her parents house n cooking is not a frad infact if she had a cook in her house before she got married than she has the right to demand from her husband. its a different matter that a wife is willing to compromise a little to get more reward for her patience INSHALLAh.

u shud luk into how Mohammed (peace be uopn him) used to treat his wives, even though he had so many wives he still liked doing things with his own hands and at times helped his wives too. its not forbidden for husband to help thier wives in household duties, he never used to complain about the way his wives cuked the food and never shouted at them liked men do these days.

ALLAh has given rights to both genders, but unfortunately these days more emphasis is given on the rights of husbands than on the rights of wives. There are a few articles for any iternested to read!!!

http://www.islamweb.net/ver2/archive...ang=E&id=40156

http://www.islamweb.net/ver2/archive...ang=E&id=37358

http://www.islamweb.net/ver2/archive...ang=E&id=29663

[Sabirah]

Masha Allah, a great read!

[Sahraxx]

I know who is a righteous wife the thing is there aren't any these days.Muslim shave become corrupt.

:sl:
Brother it is not for you to judge and make statements like these, of course there are problems in the ummah so there are not as many righteous women as in previous times but there are many. The same can be said for the amount of practising brothers around.
:w:

[Sabirah]

:sl:
Brother it is not for you to judge and make statements like these, of course there are problems in the ummah so there are not as many righteous women as in previous times but there are many. The same can be said for the amount of practising brothers around.
:w:

definately the same goes for the brothers.
Sisters have as much difficulties (if not more) when it comes to finding a righteous brother. I can say that for myself!

[wafa islam]

Asalam

Jaza kAllahu khayran

[hidden_treasure]

Assalamu alaikum,

I have only read a few comments, and decided i dont want to read anymore.

Subhanallah, its no wonder the ummah is in the state it is in..may Allah guide us all on the truth..ameen.

The man in Islam is the maintainer of women. He has to feed her, clothe her, and the list goes on...but he also has his rights....

A hadeeth did come to mind.....(sahih)...If Allah would order any of His creation to bow to other than Him, it would be the woman to her husband....can someone pls find the hadeeth, as my wording is not 100%, but basically this is what it means.

And you say that it is not obligatory to obey the husband, and serve him?
When he works hard all day???...to provide for you, and your children?

I thought this hadeeth would be more than enough to convince anyone.

Another hadeeth....when your husband is pleased with you, Allah is pleased with you....

I would appreciate if anyone can find these hadeeth, and post them.

There are numerous hadeeth on this topic, but we lack knowledge, thats all.

I am a little disappointed in the way some people speak...it almost sounds as though they are arguing against Islam.

Allah has ordered rights for everyone...this is what makes Islam so beautiful.

[Quruxbadaan]

salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

well alls i know is that the husband is the maintainer and the protector of the wife that is the bottom line people just accept it
stop fooling urselfs

Maa salaama

[safeeyah]

mashallah very vey good

[Akari]

Masha-Allah, long, detailed and precise, just how I like examples to be!

[samiya_06]

thanks for the post

[Djinn]

seems you are well under MAN'S thumb......A WOMAN OR A MAN SHOULD MARRY for love not for religious reasons......and regarding obeying your husband.....DONT YOU HAVE your own thoughts..are you a slave to the male species?.....EQUALITY is a normal thing..but some woman are blinded by religious scholars OBVIOUSLY.......and PLEASE dont quote anything.....thats what bringS these problems about in the first place.....

What is the love a man compared to the love of God?

[iqbal_ibn_adam]

What is the love a man compared to the love of God?

This guy james is living in some sort of dreamland.

What i mean is that when we say ( in west) that women can do what they want and how they want is not true. James tell me that who designs cloths for womens to wear, men do. because we want them to look they way we want, they work in clubs etc for who? for us men and there are so many other things i can go on and on.
Without religion's law (Al-Islam) womens have no rights so wake up kido

[Djinn]

This guy james is living in some sort of dreamland.

What i mean is that when we say ( in west) that women can do what they want and how they want is not true. James tell me that who designs cloths for womens to wear, men do. because we want them to look they way we want, they work in clubs etc for who? for us men and there are so many other things i can go on and on.
Without religion's law (Al-Islam) womens have no rights so wake up kido

True, I would go even farther to say that women in the west are pressured to wear what men want and that often includes the obscene, which is not the case in Islam. So in the west women's right to choose is really a 'catch-22': wear it and be accepted or don't wear it and be rejected.

[Malaikah]

This guy james is living in some sort of dreamland.

:sl:

its not his fault, the article was wrong in saying that the wife is like a slave to her husband, yes it did actually say that and that is absolute rubbish, no wonder he got the wrong idea.

[iqbal_ibn_adam]

:sl:

its not his fault, the article was wrong in saying that the wife is like a slave to her husband, yes it did actually say that and that is absolute rubbish, no wonder he got the wrong idea.

I didn't quite understand wat u tryin to say

[Ameeratul Layl]

Salam.
I personally think the 'rightous wife' can be mixed up with cultural traditions.

Wasalam.

[iqbal_ibn_adam]

Salam.
I personally think the 'rightous wife' can be mixed up with cultural traditions.

Wasalam.

When u mix things with religion the outcome is always bad. There are so many examples out there and yet we dnt learn anything from them.

BTW i know where u comin from

[Malaikah]

I didn't quite understand wat u tryin to say

:sl:

im saying that the author was wrong in saying that the wife is like a slave to her husband! and its articles like this that give people the wrong idea about what marriage in Islam is like.

[Djinn]

:sl:

im saying that the author was wrong in saying that the wife is like a slave to her husband! and its articles like this that give people the wrong idea about what marriage in Islam is like.

Misinterpreted things sometimes are, even suras and verses. Take heed in consequence, only Allah's (stw) words are unmistakable.

Salam alaikum.

[iqbal_ibn_adam]

:sl:

im saying that the author was wrong in saying that the wife is like a slave to her husband! and its articles like this that give people the wrong idea about what marriage in Islam is like.

ture say:sister:

[Malaikah]

How righteous are the women who fight their husbands when they want to have a second wife?

:sl:

I would call them humans.

How silly is the husband to go for a second wife when he knows how much it will hurt his first wife and how much head ache and trouble it will bring him? Unless there is some huge over-riding benefit that will only happen if he takes a second wife, hes not using his judgement so well is he?

im not saying polygamy is bad, its allowed and i appreaciate that, but the reality is that you cant just look at the women who dont want their husbands to do it and say they are not rightoues, becuase the guy has some issues too for initiating the action on the 1st place if he knows that its gonna cuase more problem than it will solve.

^but thats just my opinion anyway.

[ameen]

salam,

Nobody has gone off-topic. If I have gone off-topic, then so have you.

The thread is titled 'righteous wife', M H Kahn asked about righteousness of wives in polygamy, and now we are addressing this issue.

see, we're all on track and there is no off-topic.


I posted that website to strengthen your argument in your previous post, because I agreed with you :S

[Malaikah]

:sl:

oh yeh i guess it isnt off topic.

i thought it was usless to link to that website becuase its only the experience of one person, you cant possibly generalise from that!

i know the children of a polygamous family and they refered to their fathers other wife as their 'second mother', and they treat their siblings from the other marriages like normal brothers and sisters.

so i hope you can see how onesided that link was.

[princess]

manshalla!
well done sister!
some good pieces of info
may Allah bless u for ur effort!

[Hani789]

salam!!!
mashallah!!!!!!!!
jazakallah ukhtii!!!

[M H Kahn]

As a righteous wife should be rightful in observance of the deen, she cannot fight a with a righteous husband who wishes to have a second wife unless the husband is economically insolvent or dependent on his wife's income partially or fully.

[Melek<3]

Selam brothers and sisters,
i juss wanted to sayy Massallah and thank yuu:statisfie

[matobosha]

MashAllah elaborate and satisfying desctription of a wife rights.
May Allah bless you.

[Khadijah79]

:sl:


Someone said that it is Haram to have a love marriage.....

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

{In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.}

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Islam teaches us to be truthful and realistic. Usually, we love because of Allah and we hate because of Allah.

Islam teaches us that a male and female can build up a good relationship founded on marriage.

All those stories of media and movies are not helpful to make a person comply with the teachings of Islam.

We do not say love is halal or haram because it is a feeling. Maybe it is not under control.

You can judge what is under control. But people who fall in love are in many episodes away from the cleansed and pure atmosphere.

Marriages that are usually good and lasting marriages are those that start at the least affection. That affection grows after marriage and maybe it will grow until the couples continue their companionship at the Jannah (Paradise).


If you have any affection towards a person, you should ask yourself: why do you like that person? If you have good Islamic, reasonable justification, then you need not tell that person of what you feel.
However, you can make a serious plan to make him ask for your hand. If you want to know the meaning of fitna, a great part of it is what people now a
days call love or romance.

"If we are speaking about the emotion which we call "love" then we are simply speaking of a feeling. What we feel toward a particular person is not of great importance, until our feeling is expressed in a particular action. Now if that action is permissible, then well and good.

If it is forbidden, then we have incurred something that Allah does not approve of.

If it is love between a man and a woman, the emotion itself is not the subject of questioning on the Day of Judgment. If you feel you love someone, then you cannot control your feeling. If that love prompts you to try to see that person in secret and to give expression to your feelings in actions permissible only within the bond of marriage then what you are doing is forbidden."

"In Islam, it is not a sin if you feel a special affinity or inclination towards a certain individual since human beings have no control on such natural inclinations. We are, however, definitely responsible and accountable if we get carried away by such feelings and take specific actions or steps that might be deemed as haram (forbidden).

As far as male and female interaction is concerned, Islam dictates strict rules: It forbids all forms of ?dating? and isolating oneself with a member of the opposite sex, as well indiscriminate mingling and mixing.

If, however, one does none of the above, and all that he or she wants is to seriously consider marrying someone, such a thing itself is not considered haram. In fact, Islam encourages us to marry persons for whom we have special feelings and affinity. Thus, Islam recommends that potential marriage partners see one another before proposing marriage. Explaining the reason for such a recommendation, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: ?That would enhance/foster the bonding.?

This permission not with standing, we are advised against getting carried away by merely the outward appearances of a person; these may be quite misleading. Marriage is a life-long partnership and a person?s real worth is determined not by his or her physical looks, but more so by the inner person or character. Hence, after having mentioned that people ordinarily look for beauty, wealth and family in a marriage partner, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised us to consider primarily ?the religious or character factor? over and above all other considerations."

:w:

[Khadijah79]

Insh'Allah what I said above is correct

Because I'm a new muslim and I have been one just over a year

[sakina]

Assallammualaikum,
Any faithful muslimah will easily comply to what you list out since our soul are already in accordance to Islam principles, except some who need short marriage seminar to be educated the commonsense in Islam. What I like to know is how can a muslimah who is capable of being a righteous wife, find a righteous husband.

[Ghira]

I love this post....Madeenahsh first post was amazing...How I wish to find a wife like that SubhanAllah. Those qualities are amazing. That is the template I will use when searching.

[M H Kahn]

:sl:

I would call them humans.

How silly is the husband to go for a second wife when he knows how much it will hurt his first wife............

She's entitled to her due respect and share of maintenance. So, isn't it wrong for her to rebel against her husband's religious right?