Who practices POLYGAMY?

[Yasmine018]

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III&E Brochure Series; No. 13 (published by The Institute of
Islamic Information and Education (III&E) and reproduced with
permission)


Polygamy has been practiced by mankind for thousands of years.
Many of the ancient Israelites were polygamous, some having
hundreds of wives. King Solomon (peace be upon him) is said to
have had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines.
David (Dawood) had ninety-nine and Jacob (Yacub, peace be upon
them both) had four. Advice given by some Jewish wise men state
that no man should marry more than four wives. No early society
put any restrictions on the number of wives or put any
conditions about how they were to be treated. Jesus was not
known to have spoken against polygamy. As recently as the
seventeenth century, polygamy was practiced and accepted by the
Christian Church. The Mormons (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter
Day Saints) has allowed and practiced polygamy in the United
States.

Monogamy was introduced into Christianity at the time of Paul
when many revisions took place in Christianity. This was done
in order for the church to conform to the Greco-Roman culture
where men were monogamous but owned many slaves who were free
for them to use: in other words, unrestricted polygamy.

Early Christians invented ideas that women were "full of sin"
and man was better off to "never marry." Since this would be
the end of mankind these same people compromised and said "marry
only one."

In the American society many times when relations are strained,
the husband simply deserts his wife. The he cohabits with a
prostitute or other immoral woman without marriage. Actually
there are three kinds of polygamy practiced in Western
societies: (1) serial polygamy, that is, marriage, divorce,
marriage, divorce, and so on any number of times; (2) a man
married to one woman but having and supporting one or more
mistresses; (3) an unmarried man having a number of mistresses.
Islam condones but discourages the first and forbids the other
two.

Wars cause the number of women to greatly exceed the number of
men. In a monogamous society these women, left without husbands
or support, resort to prostitution, illicit relationships with
married men resulting in illegitimate children with no
responsibility on the part of the father, or lonely spinsterhood
or widowhood.

Some Western men take the position that monogamy protects the
rights of women. But are these men really concerned about the
rights of women? The society has so many practices which
exploit and suppress women, leading to women's liberation
movements from the suffragettes of the early twentieth century
to the feminists of today.

The truth of the matter is that monogamy protects men, allowing
them to "play around" without responsibility. Easy birth
control and easy legal abortion has opened the door of illicit
sex to woman and she has been lured into the so-called sexual
revolution. But she is still the one who suffers the trauma of
abortion and the side effects of the birth control methods.
Taking aside the plagues of venereal disease, herpes and AIDS,
the male continues to enjoy himself free of worry. Men are the
ones protected by monogamy while women continue to be victims of
men's desires. Polygamy is very much opposed by the male
dominated society because it would force men to face up to
responsibility and fidelity. It would force them to take
responsibility for their polygamous inclinations and would
protect and provide for women and children.

Among all the polygamous societies in history there were none
which limited the number of wives. All of the relationships
were unrestricted. In Islam, the regulations concerning
polygamy limit the number of wives a man can have while making
him responsible for all of the women involved.

"Marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you
fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then
only one or one that your right hands possess. That will be
more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice." (Qur'an
4:3)

This verse from the Qur'an allows a man to marry more than one
woman but only if he can deal justly with them. Another verse
says that a person is unable to deal justly between wives, thus
giving permission but discouraging.

"You will never be able to deal justly between wives however
much you desire (to do so). But (if you have more than one
wife) do not turn altogether away (from one), leaving her in
suspense..." (Qur'an 4:129)

While the provision for polygamy makes the social system
flexible enough to deal with all kinds of conditions, it is not
necessarily recommended or preferred by Islam. Taking the
example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is
instructive. He was married to one woman, Khadijah, for
twenty-five years. It was only after her death when he had
reached the age of fifty that he entered into other marriages to
promote friendships, create alliances or to be an example of
some lesson to the community; also to show the Muslims how to
treat their spouses under different conditions of life.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) was given inspiration from Allah
about how to deal with multiple marriages and the difficulties
encountered therein. It is not an easy matter for a man to
handle two wives, two families, and two households and still be
just between the two. No man of reasonable intelligence would
enter into this situation without a great deal of thought and
very compelling reasons (other than sexual).

Some people have said that the first wife must agree to the
second marriage. Others have said that the couple can put it
into the marriage contract that the man will not marry a second
wife. First of all, neither the Qur'an nor Hadith state that
the first wife need be consulted at all concerning a second
marriage let alone gain her approval. Consideration and
compassion on the part of the man for his first wife should
prompt him to discuss the matter with her but he is not required
to do so or to gain her approval. Secondly, the Qur'an has
explicitly given permission for a man to marry "two or three or
four." No one has the authority to make a contract forbidding
something that has been granted by Allah.

The bottom line in the marriage relationship is good morality
and happiness, creating a just and cohesive society where the
needs of men and women are well taken care of. The present
Western society, which permits free sex between consenting
adults, has given rise to an abundance of irresponsible sexual
relationships, an abundance of "fatherless" children, many
unmarried teenage mothers; all becoming a burden on the
country's welfare system. In part, such an undesirable welfare
burden has given rise to bloated budget deficits which even an
economically powerful country like the United States cannot
accommodate. Bloated budget deficits have become a political
football which is affecting the political system of the United
States.

In short, we find that artificially created monogamy has become
a factor in ruining the family structure, and the social,
economic and political systems of the country.

It must be a prophet, and indeed it was Prophet Muhammad (peace
be upon him) who directed Muslims to get married or observe
patience until one gets married. 'Abdullah b. Mas'ud reported
Allah's messenger as saying, "Young man, those of you who can
support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at
strange women and preserves you from immorality; but those who
cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of
suppressing sexual desire." (Bukhari and Muslim)

Islam wants people to be married and to develop a good family
structure. Also Islam realizes the requirements of the society
and the individual in special circumstances where polygamy can
be the solution to problems. Therefore, Islam has allowed
polygamy, limiting the number of wives to four, but does not
require or even recommend polygamy.

In the Muslim societies of our times, polygamy is not frequently
practiced despite legal permission in many countries. It
appears that the American male is very polygamous, getting away
with not taking responsibility for the families he should be
responsible for.

--Mary Ali

(NOTE: In this article polygamy has been used to mean polygyny
meaning having two or more wives. Islam forbids polyandry
meaning having two or more husbands.)


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