Previous topic was here
I guess I can be indecisive in general. Someone asked me to buy a laptop but it took me ages to decide which one.
I feel really bad because I dragged it on for quite a while and her family made some purchases for the marriage, and then my parents wouldn't take it forward because I was still 50/50. During the months the proposal was going on, I'd wake up really stressed because of this 50/50 feeling. I was frustrated that I couldn't be 100% certain of her, certain either way, 100% yes or 100% no.
I do feel I'm a fool for not marrying her, because she is kind of rare... I'm getting old too...
Why uncertain in saying yes?
*Buildwise she's right-down the middle subhanallah. I would have preferred
if she was significantly over the "margin" than on it, so less of a risk. In this case, it's like I'll only know after marriage. If she's below the margin I may not be able to cope. Marriage has to protect me from fitna. I guess an analogy would be you want someone taller than 5'6" and then you come across someone exactly 5'6".
*I felt 100% certain with a sister, she was buildwise well over the margin and from a different race.
*Maybe I lack trust in Allah that this will work out with her?
*Although mahr will be low and walima is average (3 course meal, 100s
people), I would have preferred a low budget walima, one course and saved
the money for Hajj/spending on the wife (clothes, weekends away).
Why I have difficulty in saying no:
*Religion, character is good
*She is attractive, not unattractive. And she doesn’t look like she’s too
much from the same race. I wouldn't mind if I was forced to marry her.
*Good age range.
* I do like her and she likes me.
*She’s fairly easy to marry, low mahr and average walima.
*it's difficult to find a proposal, especially for practising people. 2
years is not bad, there are some still looking for 3 years, 4 years+. I'm tired of websites and agencies...
*Mum will like someone she can speak to.
*Maybe I lack trust in Allah that I will find someone else?
*I want to marry ASAP, hormones raging, loneliness...
Is it ok to marry someone because you can't be bothered looking anymore?
Is it ok to keep the intention to marry again hidden from her? I'm mean you do hope that the first marriage sorts it out and makes you content with one wife.