Christmas parties and apologetic muslims!

It was friday and the entire organisation had arranged a christmas party. I sat in the open planned office wondering how I was going to extricate from the impending party and stay immune from the 'party fever' that seemed to infect everyone including the Muslims. Still, I had hope that the Muslims would behave - afterall it was jummah - and the 'brothers' in the department were due to go to a local mosque and pray - perhaps this would keep their actions in check.

Instead they returned - notably more jovial than before, some flirting with the office girls who were done up to the nines in mini-skirts and heels, a fellow muslimah joined in with all the 'fun and games' too - making me look even more like a fish out of water.

Suddenly the office started emptying - they were now off to their 'party paradise' - plenty of drink, music and dancing. And to my dismay the muslims disappeared alongside them too. These are muslims who pray five times and describe themselves as practising. I was then approached by a brother who had never spoken to me before (and something which I had admired him for) inviting me to the 'do'. I sat there thinking 'Have I missed something here?!'

Now I know that many will see my whole take on this as being the very problem as to why Muslims are not 'integrating into society' - but subhanAllah we have to draw the line somewhere! What message are we giving if we're not being consistent. What would I have gained had I joined in with all the 'laughter and fun' the party had to offer - nothing - in fact the opposite.

We're so scared of keeping up appearances and pleasing our colleagues that we often end up compromising our deen. Shame on the muslims who abandoned me to defend why I didnt want to join in with something that was just 'abit of fun'.

I left the eerily quiet building, despondent with my 'fellow' Muslims. On a day were we should have been thinking about Yammul Qiyaama - some 'practising muslims' were enjoying themselves amidst the fitna of the Christmas party.

Well what can I say other than what you had said already.

It is dissapointing.

Sometimes I wonder why as Muslims we seem to have so much trouble with this. We are not the only people on earth that shun materialistic and holiday gatherings. Other Religious groups seem to have no problem with this.

some I have had first hand experience are:

Quakers
Amish
Mennonites
Seventh day Adventists
Mormams

And a few others. They all have strong restrictions on Holiday celebrations, the use of alcohol and the free mixing of genders. Yet, they seem to have no problem at all in avoiding the social celebrations. They simply do not attend. No explanations,no excuses and no apologies.

Perhaps we all need to look closly at our selves if we feel we can not avoid office socializations that go against our beliefs. Perhaps all we need to do is simply not attend and feel no need to offer any explanations.

It may be that since many Muslims are New comers to these practices, they do not fully understand that these are not obligations and there is no need to attend. Those that seem to be pressuring attendance, often do so because they do not understand our beliefs and they feel that we are avoiding the functions because we are shy and need to be made to feel welcome. Those of us who are reverts do face the additional challange of being able to give up old established habits, that we no longer find acceptable. All too often we succumb to the pressure of going along with the crowd simply because they are old long term friends and we do not want to insult them.

A person that has a fundamental understanding of our beliefs will not consider us as insulting them when we follow what we believe. Most often they will will have admiration for our strength to follow our convictions.

Woodrow make some good points.

I have not joined in our office Christmas (or any other) parties in years.

My main reasons being:

• I don't enjoy watching people - especially friends and colleagues - getting wasted and behaving enbarrassingly
• I feel nervous and unsafe when people around me consume more alcohol than they can handle
• I resent spending as much money on a pointless and non-enjoyable party, as I would normally spend on a week's groceries for my family!
• I like to spend my evenings in quiet environments with my family or friends

To be honest, I don't bother giving lengthy explanations ... I just politely inform my colleagues that I won't be joining them.
At first they wanted to know why.
After a few times they knew.

Peace

Woodrow -your comments make alot of sense - why should Muslims struggle with saying 'no thanks' when so many non-muslims would do the same.

Glo - you've hit the nail on the head when you describe the negative side to such parties - anyone who wants to avoid such an environment should simply say 'no thanks I won't be attending' , rather than going to the party and feeling uncomfortable because of what's going on around them