View Full Version : Difficulty Relating Islam to Family
07-06-2005, 09:24 PM
Assalamu Alaikum, Reply
I need some help.
I am having a hard time dealing with my non-Muslim family members when it comes to interacting with them and answering their questions about Islam. I know inside of myself that I have the knowledge to answer them, but when they come to me and they are looking right at me and telling me, "Why did you accept Islam?" I cannot give them a good explanation or answer because quite honestly I do not know myself why I chose Islam as my way of life. Also, they ask me about hijab and why we must wear it and again the same thing happens I get so nervous I freeze up and completely fail at explaining to them why Islam commands us to wear the hijab. I mean I know why but I just can't tell them why.
They also look to other Muslims, in the community next to mine since there are none here, and the girls do not wear hijab, so they think that I do not have to because those Muslims are so sure of themselves. My Aunt said that she spoke to some Muslims and those Muslims told her that when they travel to another country that they do not have to wear hijab and that they are allowed to be as the people are here and dress in their way.
How do I respond to this?
I hear it all the time that I am too young to make a decision like this (having Islam as my faith) because I am only 15 years old and that I have not fully explored my options or ever looked into other religions, and that I need to.
My mother also says that I have not been out in the world enough to even know what the world is, and that I have to go out and meet people and explore life. But when I ask her how she wants me to do this in a halal, she can't give me an answer. I know enough of this life and this society here to know that I don't want any part of it. I just want to practice my religion.
I am beginning to feel so worried now because I am failing to give my non-Muslim family a proper understanding of Islam and I just don't know how to because when I do they keep wanting to refer to how other Muslims are and that since they don't practice that it's ok, and I'm just an extremist.
I'm sorry to vent but I would really appreciate any advice that you can give to me because this is really starting to way heavly on me and I feel like i'm messing it all up and making even more problems for myself.
What should I do?
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07-06-2005, 09:43 PM
well from the sounds of it, you seem to have been accepted amongst your family which is a good thing, but they just question your decision to become a muslim.Reply
In this case if you fail to give a proper answer or think you can answer the question better with some thought then let your parents know, then after preparing yourself you can convey the answer to them.
From your parents point of view they will think you may be going through a phase and by reasoning with you they may think that you will give up being a muslim, so it is essential that you make clear that you accepting islam as your faith is for real and something you cherish dearly.
i pray Allah keeps you strong on this deen and give you patience, and through you guide your parents to the straight path of islam.
07-07-2005, 05:19 AM
Wasalam Sister an welcome to Islam,Reply
First of all your family asks you why you acepted Islam.......why dont your just tell them "it's wear i feel i belong and i've never been happeir" or somthing like that.....You will loose them if you try give a long explanation what i use to explain to my family and friends is "I agreed with it so in converted" just keep it simple... :brother:
And about the Hijab and them saying "those muslims don't wear it they say you dont have to wear it in this country" why don't you reply "you don't have to be a muslim in this country either"Say: "in Islam you dont have to pray you don't have to fast you can get drunk every night but that would make you Unislamic and you would not be a muslim" for you see dear sister when a person eats untill they are full while their Neighboor go's hungry they are not a muslim......In other words if you don't act Islamicly dont count your self as a muslim for its not what label you carry but how you carry it........You are not in the position to judge the muslims around you but you can judge their actions and say "that is not Islamic" Wearing you hijab brings back your freedom as a modern woman it gives you ownership over your body (somthing which so many western and even Asian girls don't have any more) Say: "i wear the hijab so people accept me for who i am not how i look like" or somthing like that Sister because you know well and good that in Islam you are truely free.......so express that to them and don't try explain Islam in a essay to them show them Islam through your actions and show them that your happy and confedent in the path you've chosen.........My little lady also got led to belive (once upon a time) that hijab was not necercary (in Indonesia) many seem to think it is sunnah over their (probally the veiw of your neghboors) when it is in fact Fard for you to wear it as it is a direct conmadment from God (it must also cover your chest as your probally know)........Ahhh i have been tending to get lost in my own posts recently :'( so i'll :zip: and hope that you get the jist.......Basically "Keep is simple" because people can only take so much in and it will be horibly new to them.....Try ansser their questions in a few direct simple honest words as i have given some exapmples above......My unkle once asked my why my aunt was cooking vegatarian for me (not his wife) when we were at my cosins birthday.......He said "May i ask why your not eating meat?" and i said it was because i changed my faith and i have to eat spesific meat(i was ready to explain but as i said keep it simple;)) he said "what faith?" i said "Islam" and they didnt handle it too well his wife said she'd understand budisim or hinduisim(obiosly dosent know about hindu's) and my Unkle said "why?" i said "because i agree with it" and he said "thats not good enough i'd prefer you to be gay next you'll be growing a beard" and he left the table.........
Anyway mabye you think that didnt go well?? well after that he has been asking my aunt (more open minded she asked me lots at the start) about Islam he really wants to find out more (without asking me) so with a few short words he could understand how i felt and then it was up to him to understand better if he wished so....... :brother: ahhh anyway :zip: :zip: :zip: I hope this has helped sister i could talk for ages but ited be random information :brother: so i'll leave it be......... :sl:
07-07-2005, 05:51 AM
Thank you all for your advice. I think keeping the explanation simple would definitely work for me and also taking more time to consider the question and what kind of answer needs to be given. Inshallah, I will work on those things like you both have suggested and also work more on staying strong in Islam and really proving to my family that I intend to stick with this, that I am serious, and that it is not a so called phase.
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