A sisters dilemma: Should she propose or not?

[Showkat]

A sisters dilemma
http://www.7cgen.com/index.php?showtopic=7959

The first time u saw him was at a talk
And u watched him as he walked
With his mates to his car
You and he seemed far away
As u drove home the opposite way

You thought about him
The rest of the week
And felt weak
Unable to breath

The second time was near the masjid
He was coming out
And u were going in
Your eyes met
And u looked away
But felt his eyes on u
Taking a long appreciative look

Since then
Your paths have crossed often
An uneasy feeling
You can’t quite imagine
Him proposing and kneeling

He’s so knowledgeable
And beautiful
In demand
While your Ms Average
In education and looks
Although u can knit and cook
He can’t be interested in you

The sisters who are Alimah’s
Give talks and have a high profile
Get all the attention
While those like u
Are ignored

You told your- friends
And they smiled and laughed
It must be love
Nice to know that
Even the pious have these feelings
We get them regularly

What to do
You didn’t know
Felt lost and confused
Friends were bemused
They said it’s easy

If u like him
Feel this way about him
Based on his Islamic personality
And other good qualities
Then instead of waiting
Contemplating
For him to notice
Why don’t u take the lead
And propose to him
Via your Wali?

The advice shocks u
Throws u into more despair
And your inner fears surface
What if he rejects u?
The shame and embarrassment
Being talked about

Then it dawns
Like a flash of lightening
This is what brothers go through
Before and after proposing
And u understand that it cuts both ways

It’s better to compromise
Find middle ground
Propose and be proposed to
As the situation demands
Instead of expecting
Waiting
Anticipating
Brothers to do all the work
Because of the pressure
by your own culture
east and West

Hard to Confess
But there it is
Truth stands clear from falsehood

Author: email adderess deleted

[Malaikah]

:sl:

Are you trying to hint at us sisters not to put all the stress on you brothers?

Nice poem anyway, good moral, should be more gaze-lowering, but hey, what do you expect from teenagers lol.

[Kittygyal]

salamualikum.
^ agreed cheese why all ze stress on us for dude :p

anywho good poem

Ma'assalama

[chris4336]

Nice poem...I believe Kadija proposed to the Prophet correct? It would be nice to see more sisters taking an active role in finding a good practicing partner.

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[SATalha]

Yep she did, this is a nice poem and clears many doubts people have.

[Showkat]

So is it ok and acceptable nowadays for sisters to propose to brothers?

[Mikayeel]

:sl:

Nice poem, very daring! :)

[IceQueen~]

It is not advisable as such...

I remember hearing in a lecture about Khadija's proposal to the Prophet (saw). The lecturer said that when she mentioned the idea there was an old woman who advised her to leave it to her and she went to the Prophet (saw) herself and asked him why didn't he get married.
He replied that he hadn't the finances or something and she mentioned Khadija to him, to which he said something on the lines of "where is she and where am I?" (referring to her high status).
The old woman told him to leave it to her and it went on from there.

The wisdom behind this was that even though Khadija mentioned the idea first, the old woman went to the Prophet (saw) and initiated it from him without telling him first that Khadija was interested.

Generally when a woman makes the first move she loses her respect, and the guy tends not to value her as much.
She also puts herself in a dangerous and vulnerable situation.

The best way to go about a situation like this when the woman wants to take the initiative is to use a third person to act as a go-between.

This third person can mention the woman to the guy and see what he thinks. Let him make the move after planting the idea in his head lol.

wAllahu a3lam.

[Cabdullahi]

Let him make the move after planting the idea in his head lol.

Yeah the sister is absolutely right! plant it in his head and then just relax and wait because these men tend to come running!!!!!!!:rollseyes

most men dont like these overcomplicated mind games especially when women become very gleefull from seeing their booby traps becoming a success

Just keep it simple,patient and most of all be REALISTIC!

[PeaceSeeker]

Good poem
You have guts!
To write such a frank poem
Keep it up

[Ennab]

i am with IceQueen~ ................ this happened with the Prophet (saw). and Omar bin Alkhatab .................... if the woman propose to the man he wont treat her as if hes the one who proposed