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AnonymousPoster
03-13-2007, 10:44 AM
:sl:
I just got married and when I got to my in-laws house, found that my husband had a TV in his room. Now that is a problem for me - number one, I hate TV because it is a conversation killer, it is filthy and wastes life.
How do I encourage him to get rid of it from the room without acting like a control freak?

Please help me!
Jazakallah
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IbnAbdulHakim
03-13-2007, 10:57 AM
lol subhanAllah, sis just calmly advise him and make dua', inshaAllah soon he'll see. inshaAllah
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Snowflake
03-13-2007, 06:44 PM
take the fuse out! lol

no seriously, he won't give up just because you don't like it. So be patient. From your post, I'm assuming that the nature of the programmes your husband views aren't always desirable. Don't worry.

Follow these steps.. in this order :p

preparation

1) without mentioning the TV, talk to him about zina of the eyes and ears. Tell him that seeing and hearing what's forbidden is sin. Give his brain time to absorb undesirable information. Be casual, like, "SubhanAllah can you imagine that looking at nudity etcetc.. is zina of the eyes. And our eyes will testify against us on the D.O.J!" Or something like that.


2) Few days later... enforce the message with evidence, e.g. books, audios, (don't mention TV yet) and provide Quranic verses + hadith about lowering the gaze and hayaa. Quip that this includes not looking at pictures too! ;)


3) A few days later, by which time he might have realised that he's seeing haram images on TV too, mention that we're constantly being bombarded with offensive images on TV. Again, say it's fitnah and zina for our eyes.


4) Help him increase his knowledge of deen. It's amazing how knowledge affects our hearts and minds and we mentally and physically start refraining from everything that is haram.


5) Be a role model. If your husband sees you striving for your deen, it will have a positive effect on him. Whether he's affected through guilt or genuine interest, at least it's got his attention! Then........


Prepare for the strike!

1) when he has the TV on and something offensive comes on (bad lingo/nudity) say, "astaghfirullahhhhhh!!!!!!! This is what I meant by zina of the eyes and ears!" *look deeply offended x million* :offended: :offended:

2) Print this article and say, "Look what I found on the internet." (That's not a lie - you DID find it on the internet). Read it with him. http://www.inter-islam.org/Prohibitions/television.html


3) Hopefully, hopefully, inshaAllah, inshaAllah, even if he doesn't get rid of the TV instantly, everything he's learnt will be playing on his conscience. Strike while the iron's hot! I can't tell you exactly how to say it. But sumthing like, "Hun/sweetheart (whatever..whatever..) I really think we should get rid of the TV. There's just too much filth on it." etc etc...


You know my brain's just died! Anyway, do it that way if you wanna do it the gentle way and best of all in a way that he'll happily oblige with. I mean u can argue about it but that's going to make him resentful. Bad idea!

Course, you don't have to follow the plan with military precision, but with hikmah and a little bit of cunning in any way you see best should also work.


Good luck! Plz let me know the outcome if you follow my plan. :D
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vpb
03-13-2007, 06:48 PM
the simplest way is just call a tv technician, tell him to cut a wire inside a TV, and the TV will not work anymore, or maybe drop a glass of water on the TV and then dry it :Evil: :Evil: :Evil:
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strider
03-13-2007, 06:54 PM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
:sl:
I just got married and when I got to my in-laws house, found that my husband had a TV in his room. Now that is a problem for me - number one, I hate TV because it is a conversation killer, it is filthy and wastes life.
How do I encourage him to get rid of it from the room without acting like a control freak?

Please help me!
Jazakallah
It isn't that bad. For all you know he might have been using it for factual programs and the news. If it is really an issue of concern for you, then inshaAllah talk to him about it openly.

People kill conversations, not TVs. :D
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shible
03-13-2007, 06:54 PM
Assalamu alaikkum(warah)

I have a solution but it only works on how much effort you put into it.

U do know the timing when your hubby watches TV right so in jus 5 to 10 minutes before it you start to recite the Qur'an in your room or perform the necessary preyers on that time or do Zikr

I am sure that most people give more respect to Qur'an and Prayer than any entertainment.

Ultimately you not only strengthen your Emaan but instead you also Strengthen the Emaan of your Hubby.
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Snowflake
03-13-2007, 11:23 PM
use my plan... but if that doesn't work do something like vpb suggested. But he might just buy another TV - an even bigger one! Better to replace the fuse with one that doesn't work. When he susses and replaces it, make sure u keep the old one then change it again. keep it up til he gets fed up and gives up. :giggling:
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syilla
03-14-2007, 04:31 AM
start buying cd on islamic issues for a start... :D
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vpb
03-14-2007, 04:33 AM
Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis
use my plan... but if that doesn't work do something like vpb suggested. But he might just buy another TV - an even bigger one! Better to replace the fuse with one that doesn't work. When he susses and replaces it, make sure u keep the old one then change it again. keep it up til he gets fed up and gives up. :giggling:
i bet he's gonna think that there are some phantasms in the house :P blowing up the fuses . lol :D


The instructions given above are only for educational purposes only, and we hold no responsibility for any potential damage it may cause. :D :D
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Woodrow
03-14-2007, 04:54 AM
:sl:

Sister Muslimah_Sis said it best. The key is to open the doors for communication.

Openness and honesty will go a long ways.


I would recommend vbp's method only if you are closely related to a good divorce lawyer.
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shible
03-14-2007, 05:02 AM
but we cannot say he would not identify the change in fuse.

and in case if he gets to know the truth

then it would not strengthen the relationship but makes the condition even worse
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Tania
03-14-2007, 05:02 AM
Alternative:
- before he goes to tv try to catch him in something interesting things to do. What he likes. 99% will stop to do what they like.
I wish to be so talkative like you:-[ because i can't imagine myself able to speak 3 or 4 hours each day.For me the tv will be a "friend" which will save me from embarassing moments spend in 2. - silence everywhere.
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Tania
03-14-2007, 05:04 AM
Originally Posted by shible
then it would not strengthen the relationship but makes the condition even worse
Or will make it better because are men which likes to feel number one. When he will notice the wife was able to damage the tv in order to spend more time with she, what would you say :?:)
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shible
03-14-2007, 05:05 AM
Well there is one more way jus thought of it.

Try to but some Books based on various sections such as religious, humor, informative, etc.,

In the First place i think u would have had a nice conversation with your hubby of wat he likes and dislikes.

so try to go according to his likes (hobbies) apart from TV.
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shible
03-14-2007, 05:07 AM
yet if he takes it in a positive sense then Masha Allah he will be more affectionate and loving

But

If he is filled up with the tension in Office and comes home for a relief from the stress

then how do u think he would take it?
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vpb
03-14-2007, 05:15 AM
seriously,
just find out first what he is watching, if it is like (news, quiz shows etc) then why stop him, but if he's watching something which is haram then the best way is just to talk to him. u can't do stuff in sneaky way, bc if he finds out he will be angry that somebody is trying to do tricky stuff to make him do something. so be honest and talk to him.
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shible
03-14-2007, 05:20 AM
No Bro i don't think that would really work.

Since i know a guy who use to watch the same news for two hours in 3 to 4 different channels.

and when a quiz or show finishes not most people keep the remote down but they start to browse other channels for others programmes
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vpb
03-14-2007, 05:24 AM
but she needs to talk to him , and explain the situation. not try in a tricky way to make him do something. people like to be honest to them.
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shible
03-14-2007, 05:30 AM
It depends on the level of understanding between them.

if there is a strong understanding then even huge Stroms become cool winds before their understanding and affection
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zircon
03-14-2007, 06:13 AM
MashaAllah.. Muslimah_Sis got really nice advises:)
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E'jaazi
03-14-2007, 06:29 AM
Start by telling him that he could better spend his time learning Qu'ran or studying the Sunnah. Tell him that reminders benefit the believers.
Reply

AnonymousPoster
03-14-2007, 10:49 AM
Thanks so much for your advise - I will defo try out what you said Muslimah_Sis. Slowly, slowly.

I also learned some other things whilst reading this thread
  • It's important to keep a sense of humour:D
  • Don't try anything sneaky otherwise he will feel tricked
  • Timing is important - don't start going on at him when he is clearly tired (i.e. just got back from work)


Jazakallah soo much.
May Allah make things easy for you all and give you the best of everything.
Reply

shible
03-14-2007, 11:03 AM
:sl:

Hey sis give us a feedback

:D LOL
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Hashim_507
03-14-2007, 11:05 AM
Dont divorce for tv reason, keep your marriage strong.
Reply

Snowflake
03-14-2007, 07:16 PM
Originally Posted by Anonymous Tester
Thanks so much for your advise - I will defo try out what you said Muslimah_Sis. Slowly, slowly.

I also learned some other things whilst reading this thread
  • It's important to keep a sense of humour:D
  • Don't try anything sneaky otherwise he will feel tricked
  • Timing is important - don't start going on at him when he is clearly tired (i.e. just got back from work)


Jazakallah soo much.
May Allah make things easy for you all and give you the best of everything.
lol mashaAllah! May Allah give you success inshaAllah! Ameen :statisfie


Originally Posted by zircon
MashaAllah.. Muslimah_Sis got really nice advises:)
my first or second piece? :p jk! JazakAllah khair to you and everyone else who liked it. :D
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H4RUN
03-14-2007, 09:53 PM
:sl:

Buy a palm tree and grow it in the room in a great big pot:D Sorry Tv's gotta go:( [:)] or any thing else to occupy space lol

:w:
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anonymous
03-14-2007, 09:55 PM
errrrr jus leave da telly n errrrr watch islam channel. yea man!! islam channel al da waaaaaaaayyy!! TV doesnt necessarily have 2 be a bad thing ya know. and set a curfew wen da telly MUST BE off. err say 10:30pm. :p lol lyts off at half 10. lol
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Hashim_507
03-14-2007, 10:07 PM
I never watch t.v, the truth is i am too busy at collage and work.
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snakelegs
03-14-2007, 11:22 PM
you have my sympathy - i wouldn't have a tv in my house, let alone in my room! i think you are in for a long, uphill battle on this one.
good luck.
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