View Full Version : Need some naseeha insha'Allah

08-18-2005, 04:22 AM
Asalamualaikum wr wb,

I hope you are in ur good health and Imaan insha'Allah.

I don know where to starT. My life changed totally a year ago...I'm happy wid a change...but it sometimes reminds me of my past...it makes me sad and depressed. Okay forget about my past...its just soo sad, but I'm glad I changed...and I'm happy dat Allah swt guided me to the right path Allahmdulillah. I'm blessed.

I thank Allah swt for all I have...Allahmdulillah.

My onlY problem is...I'm surrounded with people with lil knowledge about Islam. I believe few people know more than me but they just don't act upon it. At my crib all I see is tv on 24/7...no one really care about their prayers, except my mom. By seeing all this...I feel sad...and My imaan kinda goes down...cuz I don have someone to back me up when I feel low. Cuz, they themself doesn't really follow Qur'an and Sunnah. Allahmdulillah they are muslims....I can't really judge them wid their actions cuz I don know whats in their heart.

I feel so down at times...cuz da situation of my cousins and one of my sister who is always in front of tv...listening to music, watching shows movies, dancing, now they even start swearing...subhan'Allah what else can go wrong?

I come from a family where people follow Qur'an and Sunnah strictly....they are hardcore salafis masha'Allah. NOW NOW i'm just talking about my uncles/aunts/mom/and other elders in our khandan...not my cousins....yeah there are few of my cousins who are doing anything and everything for Islam masha'Allah. But, I'm always surrounded wid people who doesn't remind me of Allah swt. man, its not that I can just leave them and live my life myself....they are part of me....they are my part of my family...I can't just ignore them cuz they are not good company. I don't know what I could do.

I try telling them about Islam....but they rarely listen to me. Even if they do, then they backbite about me in front of other people saying "u know she(me) always give us lectures about islam...but she herself used to do all dat before...we donnno whats wrong wid her?" When I listen to what they talk about me behind my back....I feel bad.

people had problems wid me when I was not guided to the right path....now these same people have problem wid me when i'm guided to the right path...subhan'Allah. what did I do? is it really my fault, if I tryna tell em about Islam? cuz I feel uncomfortable wid them when they are around me? does everyone always have to blame me for everything and anything which went wrong in da family....they always did...but now when im changed they don accept the way I'm. They think I'm extremist. I'm tryna have sabr but sometimes its hard to cope wid problems like these.

Thats why I try spending my time all alone...Me and my computer...I try my best to gain knowledge myself...thru lectures, forums, articles and talking to people wid knowledge Allahmdulillah. This is not the way I wanna live though. I want to hang around wid people who reminds me of Allah swt....whenever I look at em. I see no other option then being all alone. I tell people about Islam...and I believe there are few people who actually like listening to me...but what about my own family/relatives? they don care at all :(

I sometimes feel ashamed of the way we are living. Its not the way of Muslim life. Its not the way Prophet PBUH or sahabas used to live. Its not the way of scholars who used to live. Its not the way of our forefathers. Its the way of AMRIKKAN people...we are too americanized....we are blindly following their culture. We do whatever they are doing....for an example, bday parties, music, movies, tight clothing, swearing, and all da other stuff. This is not us..we adopted the living of kuffar people. Then why on the earth they ask about the day of judgement? when we are doing nothing to prepare for it.

They don like me wearing niqaab, because they think i'm extremist. My dad got all mad at me N told me to stop wearing niqaab. As long as I'm living in dis house...I can't wear Niqaab. Insha'Allah I'm planning to marry a pious brother...who will be happy If I wear niqaab insha'Allah. After all...my beauty is just for my husband No one other than him..I hope he will understand that. insha'Allah.

well I have long way till I get married...cuz i'm planning to get into alima schoool first...insha'Allah.

well I just wanted to share all dat....maybe I don have anyone I can share all dat wid. JzakAllah kher for listening...and if U can please advice me....on how to make my relatives listen to me...inculding my own sista. : )

please pray to Allah swt to guide my family to the right path....they are not dat bad but they gotta quit inappropriate habbits. cuz...it makes my imaan go down...and go towards...bad stuff. I hope my imaan doesn't go low...just cuz of em insha'Allah.

May Allah swt reward yall for listening to me Ameen.
May Allah swt guide my people to the right path...the path of pious Ameen.
May Allah swt give me sabr Ameen.
May Allah swt forgive us and protect us from shaytan Ameen.

anyways, i'm outta here.

wasalamualaikum wr wb : )

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08-19-2005, 04:38 AM
wa alaikum assalaam,


i live in a similar condition to you... my little bro watches TV, swears, listens to music all day, etc...

my family used to pray, but no1 except for me had been praying since a while... few months

but 1 thing is different, i was never looked at in a negative way.. like u were looked at as being extremist.

my parents are actually proud that im a practicing Muslim, but they themselves dont pray :(

may Allah help u, sister, may Allah help you.

08-19-2005, 05:14 PM
Salam Alaikum,

Insha allah you can speak with the imam in your masjid about him making accomodations for you to live in the masjid. May Allah (swt) make it easy for you. allahuma ameen.

08-19-2005, 05:33 PM
wa alaikum asalaam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

First of all, I would like to say, you are not alone. There ary many people who feel the same way.

My friend once told me, that instead of thinking there is a problem with everyone else, maybe there is a problem with ourselves?

Maybe our Imaan is weak, and we need to work to get closer to our Lord.

Let me remind you of the following InshaAllah..

Do men imagine that they will be left (at ease) because they say, We believe, and will not be tested with affliction? Surah Al Ankaboot ayah 2

And also Allah tell us...

Verily, with every difficulty there is relief. Surah al inshirah ayah 6

We need to turn to Allah, cry to Allah and make du'aa that he strenghthens our Imaan and forgives us for our sins.

They fall down on their faces in tears, and it increases their (earnest) humility Surah Al Israh ayah 109

Everyday in our salah we ask of Allah..

"You (Alone) we worship, and You (Alone) we ask for help (for each and everything)." [al-Faatihah 1:5].

We must constantly pray to Allah seeking his guidance and help, and whose prayers does Allah answer?

"And when My slaves ask you (O Muhammad ) concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me " [al-Baqarah 2:186]

From your posts It seems even though you are young, you have that desire to learn more. This reminds me of the following the hadith.

The Prophet said: There are seven whom Allah will shade in His Shade on the Day when there is no shade except His Shade: a just ruler; a youth who grew up in the worship of Allah, the Mighty and Majestic; a man whose heart is attached to the mosques; two men who love each other for Allah’s sake, meeting for that and parting upon that; a man who is called by a woman of beauty and position [for illegal intercourse], but be says: ‘I fear Allah’, a man who gives in charity and hides it, such that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives in charity; and a man who remembered Allah in private and so his eyes shed tears.Narrated by Abu Hurairah & collected in Saheeh al-Bukhari (english trans.) vol.1, p.356, no.629 & Saheeh Muslim (english trans.) vol.2, p.493, no.2248

May Allah make us amoung those who are under the shade of his thrown, on a day there will be no shade except his shade. ameen

Lastly I would just like to highlight the importance and virtues of patience, this is a lenghty topic, so I will direct you to a thread which I feel will benefit you alot InshaAllah.

The virtues of patience

Barakallahu feekum

May Allah guide us all, and forgive us for our shortcomings.

Wasalamu alaikum


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Concealed Pearl
01-07-2006, 08:36 PM
Subhanallah- this is the case with many. Alhumdulillah I come from a very practising, and pious family but when you look at my khandaan theyre totally different. Your imaan feels weak when you see them and feel sad to hear them talk and the way they dress and the activities that they indulge in. Aside from gving dawah in a pleasing and polite tone, we cannot do anything but pray to allah for our and thier guidance. inshallah allah will guide them, but it is only up to him to guide or misguide whom he wills.

btw, sister u r VERY lucky to have found a brother with the same religious mentality as you. Count that as a blessing because at least now you have suport and live your life according to quran, sunnah, and hadith inshallah.


01-07-2006, 08:44 PM
oh..that's so sadd...may Allah help u, sister, may Allah help you.
N Ameen to all duas..!

01-08-2006, 04:22 AM
Indeed, it is very common problem among us, The best approach is to be a good role-model for them. Follow the example of Rasullahu Walle wasalaam, where he always gave a practical examples, instead of giving a long lectures!
Be aware of what you actions. inshaAllah and constantly remind yourself, there is not anything you can change, excepts what and when Allah swt wills. The guidance comes from Allah subhallah wah tallah alone, 'With the Will of Allah azawajal, it may be take few minutes for a man, or few years in some cases" have sabr inshaallah, may Allah swt make it easy for you.

01-08-2006, 04:35 AM
Originally Posted by SalafiFemaleJih
Asalamualaikum wr wb,

anyways, i'm outta here.

wasalamualaikum wr wb : )
There are two things in life:

(a) things you CAN control
(b) things you CAN'T control.

For the sake of practicality, write down in sequence things around you that belong to (a) and (b). Then you will see clearly, what to focus on.

The prophet while he worried about his ummah, he had his priorities. In fact, for a good couple of years, before his prophethood, he focused on HIMSELF. After the nuzul of the first three sentences of al muzzammil, qiyamullail was waajib on him alone.

then his family, close friends and then his da'wah becomes public.

I had that experience.

I was the only one praying. I bought Islamic magazines and would lay them around the house and I was always good to my parents and my sisters. I was blunt too, at that young age. :)

Bdays, movies. Been there, done that.

Allah guided all my sisters and my mom to wear hijaab after 3 years! All of them started to pray 5 times a day and then I told Allah, I'm ready to die. Because that was my wish.

anyway, sorting out your priorities is very important. You can change yourself, not others. You can try, but at the end of the day, only Allah can guide.

Look the prophet spent 23 years and the whole world wasn't even muslim when he died. The Islamic empire became bigger after his death. Was he a failure?

Cut yourself some slack and don't be down. Give them a chance.

If I had given up on my family, surely Allah would not have guided them. because I needed to provide the asbaab. Allah will do the rest.

01-08-2006, 09:52 PM
^mashaAllah so true brother. I agree with you totally.

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