Greeting Thanaa
I agree with Ambrosia that it may not be a bad idea for you to move away from home.
It seems to me like you are a young woman who is finding her own identity - but having trouble showing herself to the outside world.
It seems that you are put under much pressure at home, and I sense that you fear your parents (or at least your father)
Sometime we just need to take a step of faith and push through our fear and worries and doubts.
I used to be a painfully shy person. I still am in many ways, and I will never be a loud person who likes to push her views on others.
When I was your age I left home and came to England for a year.
That was a BIG step for me. The great unknown, so many ifs and buts ... and yet, I did it!
I did so much growing during that year.
I came back a different person.
And - most importantly - I came back knowing who I was, and confident enough to tell others so!
Thanaa, you are a wonderful person.
God has made you for a purpose, and he will reveal it to you in time.
God loves you and you are precious to him.
Believe it!
Psalm 139 says this:
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
These are exciting time for you.
There may be reasons why you cannot move away from home at the moment.
But this is still a time for you to discover yourself and grow. :)
I pray that God will
strengthen you, that he will
guide you and
give you the courage to be who he wants you to be. I pray for
peace and
harmony between you and your parents, and between you and your old friends. I pray that God will fill you with
his presence, and that you will have
no fear.
You may not find this relevant as you are a Muslim, but this
is Jesus' teaching. He told his disciples not to worry about what to say when they were faced with persecution or arrest on account of their beliefs.
He assured then that God's spirit would be with them and prompt them what to say.
May that happen to you, Thanaa. May you be full of the assurance of God's presence and guidance in your life.
May the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, guard your heart and your mind.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.