My First poem!

[Nicro]

Well this is my first poem....not very pleased, but if yall could just tell me what you think

...And I will Remember You

Everyone wants a new car
Everyone wants a nice house
Everyone wants to look good
But they forget what lifes about
For it is true,
More poor will see Paradise
Than greedy old kings
Put you faith in Al-Muhaymin
And keep you heart away from sin
For it is to Allah that we belong
And to Him that we return
We live by His will and die by His will
So if you do good then do not fret
As when you are in the grave the
Angels shall say: " O, dear servant be not
Afraid of having died this day,
For as Allah said "Remember Me
And I shall remember you"
And you have remembered Allah
So how could He forget you?"

[☆ღUmm Uthmanღ☆]

:sl:
Masha'Allah, very good for a first try! keep it going Insha'Allah.:thumbs_up
:w:

[Nicro]

Thank you sister!!

[barney]

Thats really nice work! Congratz

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[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

the best critic is yourself.

Mashallah its really good, keep writing. The more you write the better you'll expand in it. Reading is also super helpful.

fi aman allah
w'salaam

[Abdul-Raouf]

Wonderful brother...

:awesome:

[al-muslimah]

That was the best poem.Mashallah.Love it.

[Nicro]

Thanks everyone one it means alot. And I have found that I really like writing....I shall do more!!

[Nicro]

Assalamu Alaykum everyone,

Ok so I wrote four more poems. Again nothing amazing but if you guys could just tell me which one is best and worst and just tell me what you think it would be very appreciated.

Bring Your Own Cup


Like a skipping record
My heart calls Your name
Saying:"O, Allah! Won't You come to visit me today?"
In spiritual poverty I try to find You
Calling:"Dear Allah! I search for I need You with me"
On Your knowledge may I become drunk!
Opening my eyes and looking up
My, how my vision is clear and my mind quiet
Believe me The Lords wine is the sweetest drink
But to have it you must bring your own cup!

[Pk_#2]

I like your first one mashaAllah, keep it up bro.

ASALAMUALAYKUM warahmatullahi WABARAKATUH.

[Nicro]

Just One Kiss


My Lovers name is the only one that sweetens my tongue
But, shhhh!
Not to loud
Or it may escape
My heart is where my Love resides
Yes, within me, for I could never put my Love on the street
Too many secrets are hidden away
So I wait for that one kiss when all will be known
That one kiss and my heart is complete
I wait for Your kiss
Please, just one kiss

[Pk_#2]

Just One Kiss


My Lovers name is the only one that sweetens my tongue
But, shhhh!
Not to loud
Or it may escape
My heart is where my Love resides
Yes, within me, for I could never put my Love on the street
Too many secrets are hidden away
So I wait for that one kiss when all will be known
That one kiss and my heart is complete
I wait for Your kiss
Please, just one kiss

No wait this ones the best one, *rolls eyes*

Pshh spoilt for choice now.

[Nicro]

A Secret

I was told a secret last night
It made me laugh
Even though I wanted to cry
It's funny how things work
Searching so long outside
When it was inside
Please, bring the Light
A little closer
Maybe open up your eyes
Because my secret
Really isn't
A secret

[Nicro]

I Have to go Dance

Maybe if I could sip
What the Angels were drinking
My heart would sing a song

A drunk song albeit
But only on knowledge

Maybe if you had a sip
We could laugh together
If only for a minute
And I can sing you my song
But not now
I have to go dance

[barney]

You have a talent going on there mate

[Nicro]

ok so i am pretty much making this my poetry topic; mainly because I like writing them and want somewhere to put them if its ok with everyone!

The Sorrow of Angels

O, Lord You have brought me into this
Dying pasture
My mind is a word you
May better understand
I now see how everything is
So far
Trees but a blue drop
In my river of tears
My heart so empty
Your name hath done
So to me
Reason?
O, reason is something
I feel not in here
My empty sorrow
Is Your message
Sent down by Angel, and
Whispered into my ear

[Nicro]

Like A Pond

I am but a reflection
Like a pond
That a stone has been tossed into
Not the best
But when the waves settle
My Beloved can
Clearly be seen
In me

[barney]

Love that last one

[Nicro]

Thanks brother!

[Nicro]

wow I am posting way to much in here......

Please Flood

My heart is
A cup
Being softly held
Attempting to catch
Every drop of
Your Love
Quietly asking God
Please flood
Please flood

[Nicro]

While I was On My Knees

While I was on
My knees
I saw Your
Compassion
And I must ask
Why do You
Care for us?
We cannot help You
But yet You help
Us
Gentle in all
Your actions
Seeing this
My Love is coming
True

[Nicro]

No Fun

Come! Come!
Gather 'round God!
So many stories
Are told that
My mind fills with grace
Just wait 'till
You see His marvelous
Dancing
Spinning, curling,leaping
Asking all:
"Take My hand"
Grab hold
Because, believe me,
Dancing alone is
No fun

[Nicro]

A Nice Fire

winterly landscape,
Such was my soul
Walking in darkness
Unable to see
Trees of black,
Malicious intent
Shaytan was
Stalking me
O, but look
A small Glowing Ash
I blow and
It grows
A nice Fire
I have
Only Gods Flame
Will warm you
Soul
Turning it from Black winter
Into Beautiful
Spring

[------]

Just One Kiss


My Lovers name is the only one that sweetens my tongue
But, shhhh!
Not to loud
Or it may escape
My heart is where my Love resides
Yes, within me, for I could never put my Love on the street
Too many secrets are hidden away
So I wait for that one kiss when all will be known
That one kiss and my heart is complete
I wait for Your kiss
Please, just one kiss

:salamext:

From one poet to another - That was beautiful Mashaa Allaah.... :coolious:

[Nicro]

Seducer

I am but a
Seducer
Singing and dancing
Making my joints
Looser
Bringing more than gold and
Myrrh
Just to bring Him a little bit
Closer
Tying Him with ribbon and
Lace
To pull Him in and
Kiss His face

[Nicro]

A Drop of Rain

Life can be bitter and cold
Or happy and bright
Dancing in The Moons light
Don't make it hard for
Me
Bang the tambourine
Against your knee
Don't be afraid to
Sing, Spin
Remember
You are your kin
Some think
I'm insane
Because I was told this by
A Drop of Rain

[snakelegs]

i am not much of a poetry fan, but wanted you to know that i really like your work!

[Re.TiReD]

Wow! I'm speechless, which is rare, i'm overawed at the beauty of some of your words! Masha'Allah, please post more! :w:

[Nicro]

Are you serious sis? I thought they were all sub par. But I will soon.....

[Re.TiReD]

Are you serious sis? I thought they were all sub par. But I will soon.....

Deadly serious...Cant wait :thumbs_up

[sadia faisal]

Masha-Allah, keep em coming!!

[Nicro]

Vain Shortcomings

What are poems?
Meaningless words
Put together in attempt
To get across a message?
Or non-message?

Pleasantries of the
Apocalyptic field
Carefully preserved
In the amber of
Buried memories
Dug up in the face
Of regret?

Words are like
Streams to rivers
Ponds to oceans
Vain shortcomings
Of the larger
Emotion

[Nicro]

Your Relation

I think I understand

Comfort and pleasure
Short periods of brief
Forgetfulness
Always replaced by
Reality
Which can only
Be called so
According to measure
Of your tear
Which may or may not
Be put in place by
Your relation

[Nicro]

Cage Bird

Put away
Forgotten

Why?
O, lightness of
Spring air
Left me with
A bell chiming sorrow
Into a blade
Which could easily slay
Or heal hearts with its
Power
Vessel which is measured
In space rather than
Completeness
Who is to say if
The cage bird sings?

[Nicro]

Be Dead

Only hollow
Skulls grasp life
For sometimes
Loss results in
Understanding
So please,
Be Dead
And know your place

[snakelegs]

thank you.

[Nicro]

For what?

Present Time

Eyes hollowed
Like that of a
Long forgotten oasis
Shrouded in a flag
Of contempt found
Only in forgetful hearts
Hearts still waiting to reach
The waterfall
Of present time

[Nicro]

Watch The Smile

Watch
Watch the smile
Grace upon a face

Your enemies reflection
In your eyes
Transcends your fate

To see a reflection
On you
Makes your grip loosen
And watch the smile

[snakelegs]

For what?

for sharing your soul.

[Intisar]

:sl: Excellent, excellent, excellent..masha'Allah, may Allah reward you akhi! :D