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  1. #1
    Array lostsoul2016's Avatar
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    Difficulty in finding Muslim wife (OP)


    Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

    I am going through some phase in my life and I know that I need companionship, love and above all a wonderful wife who is pious.
    Unfortunately in today's difficult society, it is difficult to find such. I have tried and put my intentions out there to find a match however it seems that most sisters so far have declined my request for whatever reason.

    Since my own family is very small, we do not know anyone who wants to do a rishta.

    I then try online with some Islamic sites but however the answer seems to be a decline to engage in contact.

    I honestly don't know why and feel this is such a strain and somewhat a Burdon too. I have so much to give and WANT to give but it is difficult in this day and age.
    I am in my 30's, work hard and have a successful business and another business which I am trying to make a go of. I am highly educated, strong upbringing alhumdoliliah. I keep myself to myself and I am somewhat modern but with traditional values. I am also trying to become a better Muslim, but never ever lost my faith and always have Allah in my heart and thoughts. ALWAYS - no question.

    I don't think I am too unattractive to look at (I am not fat or overweight, just right).

    I don't understand why things are so difficult and unrealistic. I was speaking to a representative of a Muslim Matrimonial Service and he said that most of the women who he comes across on the service are very unrealistic. Either they or their families want someone who has this or that, just unrealistic demands and requirements.

    This surely puts me in a difficult position.

    I then think that this seems to be a common theme by looking around, speaking to other brothers too. I feel like a lost generation, in all honesty. I then think about ok, maybe it is MUCH easier to find a woman of the book (non Muslim) but of course my preference is for a Muslim woman or a Muslim revert.

    I get a lot of criticism when I cannot help how I feel or what I observe when I even mention the words "people of the book".
    It just seems that there are more people of the book around than Muslim especially where I live. Now, they also seem to be easier to talk to (of course, I don't mean touching, kissing, dating or anything of that nature).

    What is the ruling here given that we now live in this type of world and society? How does one engage in "finding" or engaging with a woman of the book but keeping it halal?
    I feel that a lot of people don't see things or experience things that I am experiencing and feel totally lost, trapped and NOWHERE to go.


    Brothers/Sisters - what can I do? I am pretty upset and these things just keep going round and round in my mind. Catch 22 sometimes.

    Ramadan Kareem.
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    lostsoul2016's Avatar
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    Re: Difficulty in finding Muslim wife

    Report bad ads?

    Unfortunately there are pretty much non existent chaste non-Muslims these days.

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  4. #22
    'abd al-hakeem's Avatar
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    Re: Difficulty in finding Muslim wife

    Quote Originally Posted by Bhabha View Post
    Sorry but where are you supposed to find a partner? I understand this brother's concern specially if he has a smaller family and a LOT of people barely have a Muslim family to give them connections.

    The "have patience" is ok. But اللهُ does not change a condition of a person, unless he changes it himself and this means in All aspects. You can't just sit at home and wait for a spouse to walk through the door, sure if your mom and dad look for one that's different. Most of us do not have that wonderful opportunity.
    May Allah subhano wa Ta'ala guide you, sister, along with myself and the rest of the Ummah. Amin ya Rabbil alamin

    Look to Allah subhano wa Ta'ala - if you cannot find your answer there, rush to seek forgiveness and make lots of dhikr and salaah.

    I happen to be one with very few Muslim connections... I'm rather content having Allah subhano wa Ta'ala to turn to...

    The trick is knowing that we can do it AT ALL TIMES... and then APPLYING THAT KNOWLEDGE and BEING CONTENT WITH IT...

    Allahu alem...
    Last edited by 'abd al-hakeem; 06-14-2016 at 12:40 PM.
    Difficulty in finding Muslim wife




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