if a man was to punch a wife and extract blood i would understand you that you called it violence. You might as well call tapping someone to get attention violence if you call a gentle hit with a toothbrush violence !!
Sahih Bukhari
Volume 8, Book 73, Number 68:
Narrated 'Abdullah bin Zam'a:
The Prophet forbade laughing at a person who passes wind, and said, "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then he may embrace (sleep with) her?" And Hisham said, "As he beats his slave"
Abu Dawud
Book 11, Number 2138:
Narrated Mu'awiyah ibn Haydah:
I said: Apostle of Allah, how should we approach our wives and how should we leave them? He replied: Approach your tilth when or how you will, give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her.
and if any wife is unhappy with her husband islam gives such right that she may leave him:
Abu Dawud
Book 12, Number 2220:
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin:
Habibah daughter of Sahl was the wife of Thabit ibn Qays Shimmas He beat her and broke some of her part. So she came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) after morning, and complained to him against her husband. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) called on Thabit ibn Qays and said (to him): Take a part of her property and separate yourself from her. He asked: Is that right, Apostle of Allah? He said: Yes. He said: I have given her two gardens of mine as a dower, and they are already in her possession. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Take them and separate yourself from her.
I hope the matter is clear now
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