i am of the opinion (as are alot of other people) that if a guy/girl have a love-marriage (i.e talk, laugh, flirt and all that other nauseating stuff that isn't allowed for non-mahrams to do before marriage) , then the chances are that later on down the marriage (if they do end up getting married) one is going to cheat on the other, simply because there is not fear of allah there in the first place. i.e if they he/she didnt fear Allah the first time round, then there isnt really going to be anything to stop them from committing the same sin twice, right? (i mean if they dont repent and fix their ways, etc)
your thoughts?
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
Counter question: how can it be wrong to have a love marriage?
love is something one grows into over a very long time, animalistic lust and attraction is instantaneous which fizzles out soon after one has done the business
i believe in arranged marriages, so along nothing is forced. arranged meaning as i explained above
I believe in arranged marriages, so along nothing is forced. arranged meaning as in arranged by a matchmaker between two consenting people
Originally Posted by chacha_jalebi
if done in a halaal way, A MASSIVE THUMBS UP FOR LOVE MARRIAGES
hmm I thought pheromones didn't work on us anymore.
anyway, what's love anyway, I'd say it's a very strange word with no meaning, rather people group several words underneath it, most of them having some association with mating and its implications in society.
hmm I thought pheromones didn't work on us anymore.
anyway, what's love anyway, I'd say it's a very strange word with no meaning, rather people group several words underneath it, most of them having some association with mating and its implications in society.
exacly, people seem to confuse the urge to mate with love
what's love anyway, I'd say it's a very strange word with no meaning
for me, it is the desire to protect, to nurture to respect, it is the feeling that I get when I see someone after a time of seperation and I want to hold them, hug them
Sorry bro, I meant Islamic marriages without any physical contact with your future spouse until after marriage. I think I was getting it confused with arranged. But, in way arn't you kind of arranging your own marriage by doing the research, looking for certain qualities according to Islam, and ultimately deciding whose compatible with you? But I do understand the whole thing regarding 'arranged marriages' which is different to Islamic marriages.
I see bro, but you can agree that Islamic marriages as defined [without any physical contact before the nikah] can also be love marriages?
And yeah, I guess you are arranging your own marriages when you do your own research and all, but I was thinking more on the lines of the traditional arranged marriages, you know, when the parents or aunties/uncles try to get you married to a cousin or someone from a village back home.
format_quote Originally Posted by Umm ul-Shaheed
i get that bit, but what i meant by "love marriage" when the two parties fall in love due to haram actions which aren't allowed for non-mahrams to do... such as flirting, etc...
I see that makes sense then. But I think calling them 'love' marriages isn't accurate, perhaps something like Unislamic marriages maybe? Because Islam accepts that marriages can happen between two people in love, as I showed in my previous post with the hadeeth.
can you elaborate more on how? because to be honest when people say they are in love, the first thing that alot of people would think (including myself) is that something haram has occurred.
Firstly, you need to understand that 'love', you can't really explain it or rationalize it. It's an emotion and it can't be put into a defined set of rules that says this is how it happens or doesn't happen. It just happens because we have no control over our hearts. This is exactly why it isn't haram to be in love, because it's an affair of the heart and you are not accountable for how you feel towards br. x or sr. y, you're accountable for how you react to your emotions.
I could give you many possible ways people can get into love. It could be a glance, association in halal places such as classes or organizing community events etc even if it's completely serious and only when needed. I mean you can't really explain it, but it does happen and can happen without the two people engaging in haram activities. Ibn Hazm gives a few chapters on the ways people can fall in love, interestingly he even says people can fall in love in their sleep. He says: Love indeed is sometimes caused by things so strange, that but for having myself observed them I would not have mentioned them at all.
“Do not argue with your Lord on behalf of your soul, rather argue with your soul on behalf of your Lord.” - Dhul-Nun
"It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness." - Victor Frankl
I support halal islamic marriages, whether they be arranged, love, or whatever else they may be called.
(as long as they're not forced of course. but if they were, they wouldn't be islamic to begin with)
and you too explain to me how that happens ...i wudda thought (in 99% of the time) that they would have fallen in love in a haram way. i mean so veery few times that ive heard someone has fallen in love, that it has been done in a halal way..
Wa'alaykumSalaam, Hey huni,
My answer is below, I thought I'd post in the form of YS or maybe that was her and we jus' think alike..
format_quote Originally Posted by youngsister
A love marriage can be halal, you can fall in love with the person without flirting and doing all the things you have mentioned.
I could never marry someone who i did not having any feelings for.
Love marriage is when you have feelings for someone, it's not making those feelings known and showing that person that you are oh so crazily, madly in love with em, ahaha,
Mr.Akhi + Miss.Ukthi =Bad relationship...
Add Mr.Wali into the equation = Good relationship...
Providing that the following did not take place before Mr. Wali was notified:
Touching
Talking
Flirting
And anything else haraam! (like eating each other )
Hope that makes sense,
Anywai I am always gonna be pro love marriage, I think it's coote,
AsalamuAlaykum,
P.s Make dua'a for Saya (that Allaah makes her stronger) and Amat Allah (that Allaah protects her from harm).
"Whoever lives amongst you will see much differing, so adhere to my Sunnah" Muhammad (صلّى الله عليه و سلم)
‘Say: If the ocean were ink wherewith to write out the words of my Lord, sooner would the ocean be exhausted, even if We added another ocean like it.’~Al Qu'raan (18:109)
سُبْحَانَ اللّهِ - SubhanAllah (Glory be to Allah)
Whoever recites [the above] one Hundred times, a thousand good deeds are recorded for him or a thousand bad deeds are wiped away.Sahih Muslim; #4:2073.
I see that makes sense then. But I think calling them 'love' marriages isn't accurate, perhaps something like Unislamic marriages maybe? Because Islam accepts that marriages can happen between two people in love, as I showed in my previous post with the hadeeth.
Firstly, you need to understand that 'love', you can't really explain it or rationalize it. It's an emotion and it can't be put into a defined set of rules that says this is how it happens or doesn't happen. It just happens because we have no control over our hearts. This is exactly why it isn't haram to be in love, because it's an affair of the heart and you are not accountable for how you feel towards br. x or sr. y, you're accountable for how you react to your emotions.
I could give you many possible ways people can get into love. It could be a glance, association in halal places such as classes or organizing community events etc even if it's completely serious and only when needed. I mean you can't really explain it, but it does happen and can happen without the two people engaging in haram activities. Ibn Hazm gives a few chapters on the ways people can fall in love, interestingly he even says people can fall in love in their sleep. He says: Love indeed is sometimes caused by things so strange, that but for having myself observed them I would not have mentioned them at all.
ok, i see...jazakallahu khair...
on the side: im deadly curious as to how someone can fall in love during their sleep...does he explain?
format_quote Originally Posted by Pk_#2
Wa'alaykumSalaam, Hey huni,
My answer is below, I thought I'd post in the form of YS or maybe that was her and we jus' think alike..
Love marriage is when you have feelings for someone, it's not making those feelings known and showing that person that you are oh so crazily, madly in love with em, ahaha,
Mr.Akhi + Miss.Ukthi =Bad relationship...
Add Mr.Wali into the equation = Good relationship...
Providing that the following did not take place before Mr. Wali was notified:
Touching
Talking
Flirting
And anything else haraam! (like eating each other )
Hope that makes sense,
Anywai I am always gonna be pro love marriage, I think it's coote,
AsalamuAlaykum,
P.s Make dua'a for Saya (that Allaah makes her stronger) and Amat Allah (that Allaah protects her from harm).
lol..barakallahu feeki
Last edited by Ummu Sufyaan; 01-18-2009 at 09:22 AM.
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
U mean love in the sense that they have been boyfriend/girlfriend for some time and then marry... ok thats haram. Is that the one you mean?
Yep, that's the one he meant (I think- can't speak for him). Isn't that the common term for boyfriend/girlfriend relationship before marriage :confused: I thought it was.
‘Say: If the ocean were ink wherewith to write out the words of my Lord, sooner would the ocean be exhausted, even if We added another ocean like it.’~Al Qu'raan (18:109)
U mean love in the sense that they have been boyfriend/girlfriend for some time and then marry... ok thats haram. Is that the one you mean?
we cant look girls before tats haram know tat y i told so how we can love???
سُبْحَانَ اللّهِ - SubhanAllah (Glory be to Allah)
Whoever recites [the above] one Hundred times, a thousand good deeds are recorded for him or a thousand bad deeds are wiped away.Sahih Muslim; #4:2073.
Yep, that's the one he meant (I think- can't speak for him). Isn't that the common term for boyfriend/girlfriend relationship before marriage :confused: I thought it was.
سُبْحَانَ اللّهِ - SubhanAllah (Glory be to Allah)
Whoever recites [the above] one Hundred times, a thousand good deeds are recorded for him or a thousand bad deeds are wiped away.Sahih Muslim; #4:2073.
U gta see the women before u marry her at some point, right?
Welllll... yeah. You can get the chemistry between you and her. But the love only really starts to manifest after the marriage... I would have thought.
‘Say: If the ocean were ink wherewith to write out the words of my Lord, sooner would the ocean be exhausted, even if We added another ocean like it.’~Al Qu'raan (18:109)
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...i wudda thought (in 99% of the time) that they would have fallen in love in a haram way. i mean so veery few times that ive heard someone has fallen in love, that it has been done in a halal way..
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