hi, with respect. i'm in need of some advice as to how i should go about achieving a comfortable ground on which i can stand level with some members of my family who have died, if this is possible. i don't mean in the way of making up for wrong doings, but if our relationship in life never felt fully developed and as a result of that was poorer than it should have been, how do i continue to develop these relationships so that i feel we understand and respect eachother? again i am not looking for ways to apologize or redeem myself, but ways to get to know them more and let them get to know me until we are all familiar with and accepting of one another. for example my father died recently and although we did not have a very bad relationship, we were not very close because we never seemed to sit down and try to find a common effort which we could share, and i think that with more time we might have, but now that there is no more time it feels like we left on awkward terms, rather than good or bad. it is important to me to find a way to love and honor my parents in more than just a kind of superficial fashion, and also to feel as though they love and honor me, but again i find that that was executed somewhat superficially because more time was needed for us to truly establish fairness and comfort and equality within our relationship, and now i am stuck feeling only half of the way there. can this be rectified even when the people concerned have died?