To be happy with a woman is to understand her first (OP)
It has come to my attention that most of the men and boys here have a bit problems when comes to dealing women. Most of the problems that some of you shared are because of a woman :X
I’m not an expert on women but I hope what I share here will InshaAllah make you understand woman more and hopefully make your life happier.
These are mostly from my own observation and being a woman myself.
1. When a woman talks a lot and you had enough of it and you want to make her stop , so how do you do it?
First thing you have to remember that as a woman they ‘need’ to communicate to feel ‘connected’.
So don’t ignore her or watch tv or fall to sleep while she is talking. This will only make her talk more… lol :X
And don’t ask her to shut up after listening to her talk for a few seconds without really understand what she is saying. That can lead to a more serious scenario
The best is to let her talk for a few seconds, answer her a few times then after a few seconds just tell her nicely, darling I need to have my rest, to watch tv or etc.
2. When they complaint
Man always seems to think that when a woman complaints it is as if the world is going to end. “So what I’m going to do??? I can’t fix that!!!!”
The truth is they don’t want you to fix things. The woman wants a someone close to her to listen for all the bad things that has been happening. So be sympathetic and a good listener and InshaAllah she don’t feel she needs to complaint any longer.
3. They just being emotional.
So don’t blame her. Is just her body has more estrogen than you. Let her be emotional, is the way she has been created.
4. When she is being disobedient.
Just be strict and stick to your principle. This is to let her know that you’re the leader of the family and she has to respect and listen to you. But never ever be too harsh on her. If she is sulking let her be, for deep in heart she knows you’re right and InshaAllah she’ll try her best not to do the same thing again.
I think this is an important point since I’ve met a few couples who let his woman have her own way in so many things. At the end of the day the man can’t controlled her. Everytime they argue the woman surely will wins. So control the situation from the beginning and not regretting after that.
5. Shows your emotion.
For example show your affection towards the children, be sympathethic to the ones in need. Showing and sharing emotions will InshaAllah strengthen your relationship with your wife. The woman loves to know you’re the caring person and need a shoulder to cry on too.
6. They need support
Most of the woman they don’t really understand the competitiveness of this world. So be there for her and support her. Most of the time they felt they are struggling in this world alone. With your support the woman will feel more comfortable.
Finally and most importantly, being kind, understanding, show respect and be nice to each other are the keys to have a healthier relationship. InshaAllah with lots of dua and prayers Allah swt will unite you and you’re wife again in Jannah
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
^^I'm just wondering where did this thought of beating the father/brother come from to the original poster???
If Allah helps you, none can overcome you; and if He forsakes you, who is there after Him that can help you? And in Allah (Alone) let believers put their trust.
Surah Ale Imran : 160
It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) climbed up Uhud, accompanied by Abu Bakr, ‘Umar and ‘Uthmaan, and the mountain shook with them. He struck it with his foot and said: “Stand firm, O Uhud, for there is no one on you but a Prophet or a Siddeeq or two martyrs.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3483)
Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Taala) does not inspire seeking forgiveness in a slave whom he wishes to punish.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Uncle Jee
Yes, if you threaten to beat wife she will probably laugh or say bring it on. As wife probably has a little anger to take out on the man too.
If you threaten to beat brother or father then they think twice. Only do if you are capable of doing so otherwise things can get messy.
im just imagining what my parents would do if my husband actually did beat them up/threaten them. im telling you the chances of them actually taking that crap are so unlikely its making me laugh. no joke. my aprents would probably thump him in return.
i dont think someone 20/30 years older would stand for that. not a chance.
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Taqiyah
# Stop thinking women are either backbiting or putting on Henna when they come togetherOr backbiting while putting on henna
Arrghhhh... I hate the smell of henna!
But anyway, I came on this thread very late and pretty lazy to read all the posts, in order to be happy in a marriage/relationship, I don't think understanding is the main problem or issue (because that should be common sense) but the fact that putting up with each others bad habits and being there for each other through thick and thin.. In this, both parties are happy.
A womans relation is different to her husband, father, brother and sons.
Oh and excuse me if I have derailed this topic.
in my case, I am very laid back and when my sister or mother are telling me off, I have this filtering ear and all I do is nod every 30 sec.. works for me
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
maybe i should ask my husband to come and teach how to clean up the house...because he is very good at it.
He always tell me to look after the kids and let him do the house chores. Especially during those weekends.
Don't ask me how he did it...because i don't know how he has all the energy.
Sometimes he even cook for the family...huhu
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by syilla
maybe i should ask my husband to come and teach how to clean up the house...because he is very good at it.
He always tell me to look after the kids and let him do the house chores. Especially during those weekends.
Don't ask me how he did it...because i don't know how he has all the energy.
Sometimes he even cook for the family...huhu
Salam Sylla,
I think we've got something in common. Ain't it great to have such a wonderful hubby????
It all depends on the way women educate their boys. It all began before the Islamic era (Talking about our societies). When women had baby girls they went like "urrrrghhhh" and when they had boys, it was the fetival for weeks in the villages. Unfortunately, this ignorant behavior still exists nowadays. Certaine families raise their sons like kings and overprotect them. They already grow with a slight feeling of superiority over girls.
In my humble opinion, it all begins with the primal education of boys. My mother in law (That 8I love tremendously) was very ill. Her sons helped with everything. They know what it is to take care of a family and to work outside. They all are great husbands. Allah bless their hearts.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by bewildred
Salam Sylla,
I think we've got something in common. Ain't it great to have such a wonderful hubby????
It all depends on the way women educate their boys. It all began before the Islamic era (Talking about our societies). When women had baby girls they went like "urrrrghhhh" and when they had boys, it was the fetival for weeks in the villages. Unfortunately, this ignorant behavior still exists nowadays. Certaine families raise their sons like kings and overprotect them. They already grow with a slight feeling of superiority over girls.
In my humble opinion, it all begins with the primal education of boys. My mother in law (That 8I love tremendously) was very ill. Her sons helped with everything. They know what it is to take care of a family and to work outside. They all are great husbands. Allah bless their hearts.
Yeah about that...where in the world did you find them? And where can I get one of those, a good one haha!
Yeah i agree with you. My little brother, not so little he is 17!, doesnt do ANYthing seriously. I have to make up his bed, clean his room, pick his clothes off the floor and dust of and everything. My mum has raised him as a prince, he doesnt do chores, he doesnt work. Only good thing he does is go to school. The rest of the time hes on the PC, playstation or watching TV or hanging out outside. Talked to my mum about it and she says: he doesnt know how to do chores. Well: people actually have the ability to LEARN!
Tried leaving his room as it is but then mum started cleaning his room. Felt guilty about it so started cleaning hes room again so mum doesnt have to do it... seriously...
Do you know when i seriously had enough of him. When he once was hungry and asked me to make him potato chips. Not the ones you actually make yourself out of real potatos. Noo the deep frozen ones!
How hard is that??
Seriously...im gonna stop now feel very angry suddenly
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by waqas maqsood
Arrghhhh... I hate the smell of henna!
But anyway, I came on this thread very late and pretty lazy to read all the posts, in order to be happy in a marriage/relationship, I don't think understanding is the main problem or issue (because that should be common sense) but the fact that putting up with each others bad habits and being there for each other through thick and thin.. In this, both parties are happy.
A womans relation is different to her husband, father, brother and sons.
Oh and excuse me if I have derailed this topic.
in my case, I am very laid back and when my sister or mother are telling me off, I have this filtering ear and all I do is nod every 30 sec.. works for me
What if one of them asks you to repeat what she just said. Then your busted seriously. Or when she asks you like: Have you seen a cow flying by lately?
And you go: AGAIN busted!!
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
Well, al hamdullah, sister. I was very young when we married. When he proposed, I did the Istikharah and I had a good sign in my dream. It's been twelve years we're together. He was my inspiration Islam-wise.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
^MashaAllaah thats soo beautiful man ..Alhamdulilah your marriage is well sis InshaAllaah and that it remains that way .
"Allah! La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), Al-Hayyul-Qayyum (the Ever Living, the One Who sustains and protects all that exists).".."[Al Qur'aan 3:2]
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Nasiha21
Yeah about that...where in the world did you find them? And where can I get one of those, a good one haha!
Yeah i agree with you. My little brother, not so little he is 17!, doesnt do ANYthing seriously. I have to make up his bed, clean his room, pick his clothes off the floor and dust of and everything. My mum has raised him as a prince, he doesnt do chores, he doesnt work. Only good thing he does is go to school. The rest of the time hes on the PC, playstation or watching TV or hanging out outside. Talked to my mum about it and she says: he doesnt know how to do chores. Well: people actually have the ability to LEARN!
Tried leaving his room as it is but then mum started cleaning his room. Felt guilty about it so started cleaning hes room again so mum doesnt have to do it... seriously...
Do you know when i seriously had enough of him. When he once was hungry and asked me to make him potato chips. Not the ones you actually make yourself out of real potatos. Noo the deep frozen ones!
How hard is that??
Seriously...im gonna stop now feel very angry suddenly
Salaam
My brother is just like this. My brother does absolutely nothing for himself, my sister is nearly as bad, but my mom still runs around after them and if mom isn't home and I am, my brother is asking me to fix him food, make him a bath, fetch him towels, etc etc.
Going slightly off topic, was there every a thread about understanding males?
Fab site for sisters - Based in Midlands, UK Pearl Daisy
The hypocrite looks for faults; the believer looks for excuses.
Prophet Muhammad [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] understood women. He knew that women are created physically beautiful and attractive, but also possess volatile, easily-aroused emotions, resulting in natural behavioral shortcomings, which their husbands will just have to learn to take in stride throughout their lives. He knew that patience, a wise selection of words, and restraint from losing his temper, are mandatory qualities for a husband to possess, in order to enable him to effectively deal with his wife’s intermittent bouts of irrational thinking and emotional instability.
Yeah well...I think you brothers have "behavorial shortcomings" as well
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
How man thinks
format_quote Originally Posted by happy
Why should I remind you that “I love you?” I already told you once.
I’ll do anything for sex; even commit to you for life.
I hate arguing with you. I’d much rather find a compromise.
I love long hair. Sorry, but I do.
When you speak softly, I can’t help but listen.
I need to be told “no” sometimes. Not a lot, but every now and again reminds me that you are expensive.
Please don’t ask me how you look unless you’re willing to trust my answer.
My eyes notice other women a lot more when you are upset with me.
When you’re happy with me I can’t help but want to please you.
If I don’t feel I can make you happy, it makes me feel less than a man.
I expect you to be ready when I pick you up.
Cigarettes make any woman look cheap and easy.
I'm scared if I let a woman inside my heart, she'll take advantage of me.
If you can’t stand up to me when I’m a brat, you’re too weak for me to open up to when I’m upset.
Sitting quietly next to me after you’ve made me a meal is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free ticket. You’ll be surprised how quickly I can forgive.
You did something hurtful. If I never bring it up, I’m considering leaving you.
I don’t read minds. Remember, I’m not a woman.
You may know fashion, but I wish you’d dress to please me, not other women.
If I’m losing my hair, it’s not funny. Would you like me to joke about your weight?
When I talk to you about golf and you act bored, it would be nice for you to remember all the times I’ve listened to you talk about what is important to you.
The woman I love is easy to please. She appreciates the effort I put into making her happy, even if I get the details wrong.
You look hot in a dress.
I hate being told what to do when I don't ask for help. It makes me feel like you're my mother.
If you sleep over, I might eventually marry you, but I'm less motivated.
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
1. When a woman talks a lot and you had enough of it and you want to make her stop , so how do you do it?
Duck-tape her mouth?
2. When they complaint
Man always seems to think that when a woman complaints it is as if the world is going to end. “So what I’m going to do??? I can’t fix that!!!!”
Easy, complain back! That would do it.
3. They just being emotional.
I don't cater to emo's thank you very much.
4. When she is being disobedient.
Kick her out of the house?
5. Shows your emotion.
See #3
6. They need support
Give her a bear hug!
I'm joking btw But thank you for this!
What I fear most for my people are the hypocrites, who talk wisely, yet act unjustly.
~ The Prophet Muhammad, as reported by Umar bin al-Khattab ~
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by Nasiha21
Yeah about that...where in the world did you find them? And where can I get one of those, a good one haha!
Yeah i agree with you. My little brother, not so little he is 17!, doesnt do ANYthing seriously. I have to make up his bed, clean his room, pick his clothes off the floor and dust of and everything. My mum has raised him as a prince, he doesnt do chores, he doesnt work. Only good thing he does is go to school. The rest of the time hes on the PC, playstation or watching TV or hanging out outside. Talked to my mum about it and she says: he doesnt know how to do chores. Well: people actually have the ability to LEARN!
Tried leaving his room as it is but then mum started cleaning his room. Felt guilty about it so started cleaning hes room again so mum doesnt have to do it... seriously...
Do you know when i seriously had enough of him. When he once was hungry and asked me to make him potato chips. Not the ones you actually make yourself out of real potatos. Noo the deep frozen ones!
How hard is that??
Seriously...im gonna stop now feel very angry suddenly
Salaam
i think there might some exaggeration in that because i have half a dozen sisters and there's no father around but i always make my specific meals of high protein
Re: To be happy with a woman is to understand her first
format_quote Originally Posted by syilla
I think this is an important point since I’ve met a few couples who let his woman have her own way in so many things. At the end of the day the man can’t controlled her. Everytime they argue the woman surely will wins.
This Reminds me of the below hadith
Sahih Bukhari, The book of Belief, Volume 1, Book 2, Number 28:
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas:
The Prophet said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you."
Prophet Muhammad was very specific about why many women will end up in hell. The reason is because many women don't appreciate their husbands!. How good is a woman who doesn't appreciate her husband, and doesn't care about him enough, that if he does something bad to her, then she'll remember it for him for the rest of her life? How good is a woman who doesn't remember much of the good that her husband does for her?
Women of that kind are not accepted in Islam. Women in Islam must honor their husbands and seek with their best ability their comfort. A woman who doesn't appreciate her husband is in reality treating him as a working slave for her and for their kids.
Islam does not generalize against women. The sayings above were very specific and were only talking about a group of women, and not all women
Last edited by Predator; 01-18-2010 at 07:39 PM.
When truth is hurled at falsehood , falsehood perishes. because falsehood by its nature is bound to perish [21:18- Holy quran]
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Dude...
seriously...
AGAIN busted!! 
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