Though, it is not a very sophisticated guideline, I would like to share with you some tips on how to improve our Modesty and Charity ( for both Men & Women),because our true treasure lies in perserving our selves from all kind of impurities.
This is a small effort on to how we can guard our Modesty and become more Chaste in a world of exploitative Chaos of human body.
1.You must seek help in God: Without continuous prayers and seeking protection from God; We are all feeble and fall into mistakes God has the power to keep you safe so pray daily for chastity and God will help you.
2.Do not use Chastity as means of boast, If you are chaste and virgin Praise God for that is His favor upon you.Do not make fun of or degrade others for falling into mistakes- this will lessen the chance of you falling into the same mistake.
3.Try to establish faith and purify your heart: The Prophet peace and blessings be upon him said: Verily there is one piece in the body if it good the whole body is good if it is corrupt the whole body is corrupt". Remember the heart is the center of actions.
4.Have a pure character, How?:
-If there is any TV programe shows which are considered 'moderate' but still arouses imagination to think in a lustful way, abstain from watching these shows and find a better and healthier substitute.
- Lower your gaze and respect people's privacy, stop staring at people especially persons from the other gender.
-Purify your tongue and speech, use clean and simple words do not use words that have dirty and twisted meaning that make people think of things in an impure way.
- Stop judging people according to external appearance this will help a long way,Know that True beauty is only-skin deep and that the true value of a human being lies inside his/her heart and character.
-Dress modestly, the fact says- Like attracts like, if you want to be chaste and keep virgin until marriage,but dress in a manner that attracts negative attention or may even lead to seduction how do you expect your self to be safe from temptations? Modest clothing makes a human being humble and less arrogant it makes a human being less judgement on appearances and more appreciative of the surroundings.
-Keep away from public and private mixed gatherings- very important. It also speaks for itself many fall into fornication because of ' simple mixed gatherings enounters' so to the most of your ability try to distance your self from these places.
-Be careful when interacting with members of the opposite gender:-
Don't prolong conversations especially when you know that there is no possibility or likeliness of any true commitment ever happening.
-stop provoking emotional feelings from other human being: do not flirt, or prolong eye contact.
-Make the conversation simple and general theme centered.
5.Avoid watching Movies,listening to Music..etc that will lead to sexual temptations or urge into fornication.
6.Try to be the person you're waiting for: Everyone wants a loyal and faithful spouse that is chaste because of security and trust means, think about it this way: In any doubtful situation ask yourself: If I was married and my husband/wife was in this situation would I like it if He/She did this or that ? the answer will guide you the the right direction Insha'Allah and this will make you a good to be Husband or wife.
7.even if you had been engaged or indulged in any type of sexual relationship before this doesn't mean your chance if over, it's okay we all fall into mistakes but the moment we are fully aware of these mistakes we should try to also be Chaste even if other try to put us down by recalling our past we must always remember the prophet PBUH saying: The one who repents from a sin is as if he/she has not committed it.
With daily pryers ane hardwork of selfcontroll we can God willing fullfil the commandements of Allah that is to be chaste and guard our modesty.
I hope this helps,I'm sure many people here have much more inputs;please do share.
Thank you for reading;May Allah protect you and your family and have Mercy on all.
pray a lot, as Allah says that prayings keeps a person away from fawahish (immorality). also, do lots of zikr, read the Quran alot and try to understand it.
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