You are Single, not Dead.

**~Zaria~** · 02-19-2012

You are Single Not Dead

Being single does not mean that you are weak, it's mean you are strong enough to wait for what you really deserve. If you are happy and confident, you are more likely to attract the right person into your life in the first place. And most importantly when Allah (God) knows you’re ready for the responsibility of commitment, He will reveal the right person under the right circumstances. You are not going to displease Allah if you’re single (by Qadar). But you may displease Allah by your lack of thankfulness and weakness in your reliance (tawakul) in Him and giving up on life altogether. Wait patiently and be optimistic.

Some people are single but they are mentally committed to someone. That’s not very healthy for your faith.
It’s all upto Allah. The All-Wise, The Master who knows the secrets of your hearts even if you don’t mention them, The One who knows his weaknesses and your weaknesses and how this combination would destroy your and his life, He wouldn't let us suffer like that. You need to be patient and have faith that He will provide for you. He will give you better. He will make you happy again. He will do that because He is so Merciful. You need to trust Him.

You need to put your faith in the One who created you. Don’t waste your time searching and wishing. One day someone's gonna walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else! Grow, be patient and be ready, you’ll see Allah will give you a love story far better than you could ever dream of.

Single and upset?
You might be not married to any man, like Maryam [Mary] (Allah Be Pleased With Her) and Allah can make your rank higher than any women on the Earth. Know your priorities. Love and trust is with Allah first.

Yes it is fact that there are many advantages to being in a relationship or marriage, but do not worry or fret if you are still single. Not everything is within our control and sometimes we do have to accept fate. So, why worry unnecessarily over something that we do not have control over?

Do not let being single thought traped you, make you a slave to the idea of finding someone, deprive you of your ability to enjoy life and cause desperation, depression, and fear. Don’t forget that your life does not end if certain things don’t come your way. Did Allah say anywhere in the Quran and Sunnah that you are worthless if you don’t get married? Being single is not a death sentence, it has own charm you enjoy life in your own way, you get more time to be with yourself, to do a variety of things, indeed you have relationship with freedom. You have lots to do, you have yourself, your friends, your family, and you have Allah. Get out of your mental cage, make your life’s vehicle move on.

You are still single because it’s all up to Allah (God), our future partners have or have not been already determined 50,000 years ago before this world existed. It’s because of His wisdom that you’re still single. So don’t think you care for yourself more than Allah cares for you! Appreciate His wisdom.

Don’t worry too much, to have a positive attitude and enjoy your single life. Whether you are in a relationship or not, you want to be happy. If you aren't happy single, then you won't be happy taken. Happiness comes from within not from anybody else. Research shows that the number one ingredient for happiness, by far, is optimism, so change your approach learn to have more fun be happy and enjoy your life either your are single or not.

http://assmkhan.blogspot.com/

**جوري** · 03-04-2012

Originally Posted by tigerkhan

i think its not only women but men also bcm idealistic most of time. its all bcz of weakness of iman that we prefer worldly things much while searching for partner. i see many boys refusing proposal bcz girl is not attractive. same is case on other side, girls refuses mostly bcz boy is not well paid or not so dashing.

Maybe when you're a teenager? As an adult you have different needs from your partner-- attractiveness is important yes but that's subjective? personality and character make a person attractive or horribly ugly even though from the outside they're pleasing to look at.
People are single for many different reasons and too numerous to count or sum up under one heading..

and Allah swt knows best,

**tigerkhan** · 03-05-2012

^ i agree but thats what i experienced when i registered on a purematrimony. on site u cant see someone character or personality but ppl here are always running for job, beauty etc.

**Amat Allah** · 03-05-2012

When its time for ya to have your other part then you will no matter what reasons kept ya single till that moment...we don`t know what best for us but Allah knows laa ilaha illa Allah...

May Allah make ya all happy and grant ya the best in this dunya and in Al Akhirah too Ameeen

**ardianto** · 03-06-2012

Originally Posted by tigerkhan

^ i agree but thats what i experienced when i registered on a purematrimony. on site u cant see someone character or personality but ppl here are always running for job, beauty etc

Matrimonial sites are full of people like that, although not all.

Try to find a wife through the better way. Tell people around you that you are looking for a wife. Tell them to introduce you to a girl who is looking for a husband. Don't be ashamed, this is not a shameful thing. Many people in my place got married through this way.

And avoid exchange picture. This is not a good thing because we cannot see character and personality through picture. And also, actually picture can 'deceive' us. Just meet her if you want to know about her.

**Muhaba** · 03-06-2012

Great article and a great reminder of the fact that Allah is the best to decide when one should get married. it's normal to feel sad about being single but its best to make the best of one's time and to always remain hopeful.

**tigerkhan** · 03-06-2012

Originally Posted by ardianto

Try to find a wife through the better way. Tell people around you that you are looking for a wife. Tell them to introduce you to a girl who is looking for a husband. Don't be ashamed, this is not a shameful thing. Many people in my place got married through this way.

brother i wish it could be possible..lol. actually i am cuurently in Australia. and i dont know much muslims here. the nearist masjid to me is a Turkish Masjid and they are all turkish ppl. anyway i wish that some miracle does happen.lol

**transition?** · 03-06-2012

It's Natural to yearn for your significant other. Patience is waiting proactively. Put the effort to get married and leave the results up to Allah (swt). If you want a good wife, work on getting closer to Allah (swt).

**ardianto** · 03-07-2012

Originally Posted by tigerkhan

actually i am cuurently in Australia.

tigerkhan
IB Oldtimer
Join Date : Dec 2009
Location : Pakistan
Gender : Male

------

Just Kidding.

How about tell your family in Pakistan to find a girl there?. In this case you cannot avoid look at picture before meet. But at least they can find a realistic girl.

**Samiun** · 03-07-2012

I'm still a teenager, can I marry now?

**ardianto** · 03-07-2012

Originally Posted by Samiun

I'm still a teenager, can I marry now?

Do you know how heavy the responsibility in marriage that you must bear?

**real islam** · 03-11-2012

7 billion people but no one is near to you.
When you are out of your house you are alone.
There is none to look at you.They have no time
to see what is happening beside

**ardianto** · 03-11-2012

Originally Posted by real islam

7 billion people but no one is near to you.
When you are out of your house you are alone.
There is none to look at you.They have no time
to see what is happening beside

People always have time to look around, they always look at us, even pay attention to us. But we would not realize it if we always look at other direction.

What people see on us determine what people's view on us, and the most important, it determines how people would treat us.

If we could accept other people, other people would accept us. If we could not accept other people, ..... we would be alone.

**~Zaria~** · 03-16-2012

''You might be married to the worst man ever, like Asyah was married to Pharaoh - but it didn’t change her and her loyalty and love to Allaah.

You might be married to the best of men, like Prophet of God, and still not enter Heaven - like the wife of Nabi Lut a.s.

You might not get married to any man, like Maryam (alaiha salam), and Allaah can make your rank higher than any woman on Earth.

Strive in the way of Allah, don't worry about your marriage - that matter has already been decreed for you''

**tigerkhan** · 03-17-2012

^

well i heard from some ulama/ scholars it obligatory (wajib) to marry to complete ur eman.

**ardianto** · 03-17-2012

Originally Posted by tigerkhan

^

well i heard from some ulama/ scholars it obligatory (wajib) to marry to complete ur eman.

Excuse me, my brother. Did you listen to ulama carefully?.

Nikah (marry) is wajib (obligatory) only for those who able to get married. Not every Muslim is able to get married although they want. Marriage is a bond of two persons with intention to build a family. If someone wants to get married but no one wants to marry him/her, is it means he/she fall into sin?.

Definition of wajib is: if we do it, we get reward, if we leave it, we get sin.

**tigerkhan** · 03-18-2012

ya i understand.
and u blv its difficult to define if anyone is "able" to marriage or not. eg im engineer, doing full time job since 4 years but my family thinks i am still not eligible for marriage financially....lol

**ardianto** · 03-18-2012

Originally Posted by tigerkhan

ya i understand.
and u blv its difficult to define if anyone is "able" to marriage or not. eg im engineer, doing full time job since 4 years but my family thinks i am still not eligible for marriage financially....lol

Brother, not only you, not only me, but mostly of young men who want to get married get question from their families "are you sure you are able to fulfill your wife needs?".

They just want to remind us that marriage need financial responsibility beside other responsibilities. But actually, who determine you are financially able or not able to get married is your future wife. If she does not mind with your financial condition today, ... what are you waiting for?.

Mostly of women do not look at what you have today, but they look at your level of responsibility, or in another word, look at your prospect for the future. Many rich husbands today got married when their income was not so high like now.

**tigerkhan** · 03-18-2012

JazakAllah O kair for ur concern and advise, i really appreciate it. insh i will do it soon, may Allah SWT ease the matter for me.

**~ Sabr ~** · 06-01-2012

Originally Posted by ~Zaria~

Single and upset?
You might be not married to any man, like Maryam [Mary] (Allah Be Pleased With Her) and Allah can make your rank higher than any women on the Earth. Know your priorities. Love and trust is with Allah first.

SubhaanAllaah!

**Predator** · 06-01-2012

Originally Posted by ardianto

Brother, not only you, not only me, but mostly of young men who want to get married get question from their families "are you sure you are able to fulfill your wife needs?".

They just want to remind us that marriage need financial responsibility beside other responsibilities. But actually, who determine you are financially able or not able to get married is your future wife. If she does not mind with your financial condition today, ... what are you waiting for?.

Mostly of women do not look at what you have today, but they look at your level of responsibility, or in another word, look at your prospect for the future. Many rich husbands today got married when their income was not so high like now.

Tigerkhan is right , women and especially their parents are concerned about financially wellbeing of their daughter and are thus very materialistic and make marriage difficult for young people by making excessive demands of dower, housing and furniture

These should always be of reasonable standard so that they do not discourage young people from marriage and cause a general delay in the marriage age in society.

This is unfortunately the case in some Muslim countries, where you find most people unable to get married before they reach their late twenties or early thirties. In some
cases, people reach 40 years of age before they have a realistic chance of being married. That is a situation, which leads to much corruption.