I've browsed some threads here and in other forums regarding marriage and I see so much complaining on both ends (as to why they find it difficult to find a spouse etc). Complaints that come from let downs due to unrealistic expectations. Too many single people out there looking for the wrong things and the wrong reasons to marry, even though they say the opposite. Unfortunately I've read of Some people just give up the idea of marriage all together not realizing what it is they turn away from. What I see is a lack of understanding, because many people say the right things, however still have the same complaints as everyone else does, which says to me there's a lack of understanding. We have all been there at some point. For some of us the road to understanding this simple concept has been a long painful journey, and it is best if we learn from our mistakes and others' mistakes vs going through them over an over, and never fixing the root cause of the problem.
So I'm sharing this in hopes that it can help and make it easier for some to find a good spouse, and if already married, perhaps it can help someone to refocus and rid their marriage of ongoing "problems". I urge you to please take the time to read this. Married or not, it will be of some benefit to you, insha Allah. **Sisters, please pay close attention, as we are ones who usually get cought up in emotions more often than not. Save yourself the drama and rollercoaster rides!**
This is love.
And so there are some who spend their whole lives seeking. Sometimes giving, sometimes taking. Sometimes chasing. But often, just waiting. They believe that love is a place that you get to: a destination at the end of a long road. And they can’t wait for that road to end at their destination. They are those hearts moved by the movement of hearts. Those hopeless romantics, the sucker for a love story, or any sincere expression of true devotion. For them, the search is almost a lifelong obsession of sorts. But, this tragic ‘quest’ can have its costs—and its’ gifts.
The path of expectations and the ‘falling in love with love’ is a painful one, but it can bring its own lessons. Lessons about the nature of love, this world, people, and one’s own heart, can pave this often painful path. Most of all, this path can bring its own lessons about the Creator of love.
Those who take this route will often reach the knowledge that the human love they seek was not the destination. Some form of that human love, can be a gift. It can be a means. But the moment you make it the End, you will fall. And you will live your whole life with the wrong focus. You will become willing to sacrifice the Goal for the sake of the means. You will give your life to reaching a ‘destination’ of worldly perfection that does not exist.
And the one who runs after a mirage, never gets there; but keeps running. And so too will you keep running, and be willing to lose sleep, cry, bleed, and sacrifice precious parts of yourself—at times, even your own dignity. But you’ll never reach what you’re looking for in this life, because what you seek isn’t a worldly destination. The type of perfection you seek cannot be found in the material world. It can only be found in God.
That image of human love that you seek is an illusion in the desert of life. So if that is what you seek, you’ll keep chasing. But no matter how close you get to a mirage, you never touch it. You don’t own an image. You can’t hold a creation of your own mind.
Yet, you will give your whole life, still, to reaching this ‘place’. You do this because in the fairy tale, that’s where the story ends. It ends at the finding, the joining, the wedding. It is found at the oneness of two souls. And everyone around you will make you think that your path ends there: at the place where you meet your soul mate, your other half—at the point in the path where you get married. Then and only then, they tell you, will you ever finally be complete. This, of course, is a lie because completion cannot be found in anything other than God.
But the lesson you’ve been taught since the time you were little—from every story, every song, every movie, every ad, every well-meaning auntie—is that you aren’t complete otherwise. And if—God forbid—you are one of the ‘outcasts’ who haven’t gotten married, or have been divorced, you are considered deficient or incomplete in some way.
The lesson you’re taught is that the story ends at the wedding, and then that’s when Jennah (paradise) begins. That’s when you’ll be saved and completed and everything that was once broken will be fixed. The only problem is, that’s not where the story ends. That’s where it begins. That’s where the building starts: the building of a life, the building of your character, the building of sabr, patience, perseverance, and sacrifice. The building of selflessness. The building of love.And the building of your path back to Him.
But if the person you marry becomes your ultimate focus in life, your struggle has just begun. Now your spouse will become your greatest test. Until you remove that person from the place in your heart that only God should be, it will keep hurting. Ironically, your spouse will become the tool for this painful extraction process, until you learn that there are places in the human heart made only by—and for—God.
Among the other lessons you may learn along this path—after a long road of loss, gain, failure, success, and so many mistakes—is that there are at least 2 types of love. There will be some people you love because of what you get from them: what they give you, the way they make you feel. This is perhaps the majority of love—which is also what makes much of love so unstable. A person’s capacity to give is inconstant and changing. Your response to what you are given is also inconstant and changing. So if you’re chasing a feeling, you’ll always be chasing. No feeling is ever constant. If love is dependent on this, it too becomes inconstant and changing. And just like everything in this world, the more you chase it, the more it will run away from you. But, once in a while, people enter your life that you love—not for what they give you—but for what they are. The beauty you see in them is a reflection of the Creator, so you love them. Now suddenly it isn’t about what you’re getting, but rather what you can give. This is unselfish love. This second type of love is the most rare. And if it is based in, and not competing with, the love of God, it will also bring about the most joy. To love in any other way is to need, to be dependent, to have expectations—all the ingredients for misery and disappointment.
So for all those, who have spent their life seeking, know that purity of any thing is found at the Source. If it is love that you seek, seek it through God. Every other stream, not based in His love, poisons the one who drinks from it. And the drinker will continue to drink, until the poison all but kills him. He will continue to die more and more inside, until he stops and finds the pure Source of water.
Once you begin to see everything beautiful as only a reflection of God’s beauty, you will learn to love in the right way: for His sake. Everything and everyone you love with be for, through and because of Him. The foundation of such love is God. So what you hold onto will no longer be just an unstable feeling, a fleeting emotion. And what you chase will no longer be just a temporary high. What you hold, what you chase, what you love, will be God: the *only* thing stable and constant. Thereafter, everything else will be through Him. Everything you give or take or love or don’t love, will be by Him. Not by your nafs. It will be for Him. Not for your nafs.
This means you will love what He loves and not love what He does not love. And when you do love, you will give to the creation—not for what you can get in return from them. You will love and you will give, but you will be sufficed from Him. And the one who is sufficed by God, is the richest and most generous of all lovers. Your love will be by Him, for Him, and because of Him. That is the liberation of the self from servitude to any created thing. And that is freedom. That is happiness. That is love.
Re: This is Love- Marriage is where the story begins, not where it ends.
But, once in a while, people enter your life that you love—not for what they give you—but for what they are.
The beauty you see in them is a reflection of the Creator, so you love them.
Now suddenly it isn’t about what you’re getting, but rather what you can give.
In my opinion, people who love each other are constantly in a state of give and take. It's in our nature to receive as it is to give the Mercy, Grace, and Love God bestow upon us. Ultimately, we are dependent solely on God, and God in His infinite wisdom has put love between our hearts not only to Love Him, but so we could live with each other in peace.
"And among His Signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." [Surah Rum: 21]
I do not think there is anyone who could say "This is Love"......
Re: This is Love- Marriage is where the story begins, not where it ends.
format_quote Originally Posted by TrueStranger
"And among His Signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." [Surah Rum: 21]
Jazakallah khair for posting this verse.
This verse clearly says that Allah put love and mercy between the hearts of husbands and wives. Allah created men and women and He also created love between men and women. This love is different from other kinds of love. It can't be equalled with any other type of love, such as love between a mother and son, love between a brother and sister, love between friends or love between a servant and his master. The love that we have for God is also different.
Indeed, the signs of God are clear... and the verse mentions this as well: Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.
Re: This is Love- Marriage is where the story begins, not where it ends.
format_quote Originally Posted by Flame of Hope
I don't really understand the article. It's not clear in its message and pretty vague.
I'm sorry you didn't understand the article, if you have any particular questions perhaps I can try and help better ur understanding of it insha Allah
format_quote Originally Posted by TrueStranger
In my opinion, people who love each other are constantly in a state of give and take. It's in our nature to receive as it is to give the Mercy, Grace, and Love God bestow upon us. Ultimately, we are dependent solely on God, and God in His infinite wisdom has put love between our hearts not only to Love Him, but so we could live with each other in peace.
"And among His Signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." [Surah Rum: 21]
I do not think there is anyone who could say "This is Love"......
Perhaps you are missing the point of the article all together Ukhti. It is the constant state of give and take that should be avoided. Our prophet (s.a.w) never expected anything in return for what he did or gave, he thought us that only with Allah should we seek reward, and only for his sake should we do what we do for others, including our spouse. Why?
Indeed mankind, to his Lord, is ungrateful. [100:6]
and if man is ungrateful to his own creator, why would they even bother to be grateful to another human? Man quickly forgets the good done to him/ for him and quick to remember another's faults. SO, if you re-read this article you will see that it is encouraging to focus your love on Allah, love one another for HIS sake, not for each other's wants and whims, because they change very often. That is the nature of emotions, and that is what should be avoided in a marriage, unfortunately, it is the opposite in these times.
As the surah you quoted is one I am very familiar with. It mentions, that mates were created among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquility. Where is the tranquility in a relationship full of expectations, which more often than not are based on personal desires? There is a much deeper meaning to this surah, if you truly reflect upon it. The tranquility is there when both husband and wife are focused on Allah, when they help each other stay on the straight path, when they are each otehr's garments and protect each other's imaan, and when they are both detached from worldly desires...
We must look beyond our own nafs to truly get the message being presented here.
"This means you will love what He loves and not love what He does not love. And when you do love, you will give to the creation—not for what you can get in return from them. You will love and you will give, but you will be sufficed from Him. And the one who is sufficed by God, is the richest and most generous of all lovers.Your love will be by Him, for Him, and because of Him. That is the liberation of the self from servitude to any created thing. And that is freedom. That is happiness."
- cOsMiC
Last edited by cOsMiCiNtUiTiOn; 06-13-2012 at 05:42 AM.
Re: This is Love- Marriage is where the story begins, not where it ends.
format_quote Originally Posted by Cbdullahii
I think it would be better if this thread was moved to the sisters section.
I don't think so, this is for both men and women. Go browse through the "i cant get married" kind of threads, read them fully then come back here and read the article, so u understand what is being said here. It applies to both genders.
Re: This is Love- Marriage is where the story begins, not where it ends.
You know, in the wests main language - and the language most spoken in the world (English), there is only one word for love? Love itself... hardly does the word justice. There are many types of love. In Urdu alone, there are 3 words for love that I know... and can describe why they are different.
Examples:
Pyar: Love, generalised (needs citation lol)
Ishq: Passionate love (needs citation lol)
Mohaubbat: Deep unfaltering love (needs citation lol)
Arabic, has many MANY words for love. The natural eloquence of the Arabic language allows for one to express themselves much better in this regard.
English, pales by comparison and by it's very nature seems to be a language that likes to either generalise or negate certain concepts that relate to human emotion, even if they are related. For example - the many way of Love. I hope that makes sense... [it doesn't to me when I read it back]
These are my thoughts.
Scimi
Last edited by Scimitar; 06-13-2012 at 02:47 PM.
Reason: adding vid
Re: This is Love- Marriage is where the story begins, not where it ends.
Good post sis, we should show our true love towards Allah subhana wa'a ta'ala. And do good deeds for the sake of Him, when you marry its the beginning true love while come at a time but not that emotional attachment love we are seeing, this is often more hard for women because they're more emotional beings, sadly many men have joined this also thanks to the fitnah of today.
http://www.youtube.com/user/robinb4life?feature=mhee
I will not calm down until I will put one cheek of a tyrant on the ground and the other under my feet, and for the poor and weak, I will put my cheek on the ground. - Umar ibn khattab(Ra)
Re: This is Love- Marriage is where the story begins, not where it ends.
format_quote Originally Posted by Scimitar
You know, in the wests main language - and the language most spoken in the world (English), there is only one word for love? Love itself... hardly does the word justice. There are many types of love. In Urdu alone, there are 3 words for love that I know... and can describe why they are different.
Examples:
Pyar: Love, generalised (needs citation lol)
Ishq: Passionate love (needs citation lol)
Mohaubbat: Deep unfaltering love (needs citation lol)
Arabic, has many MANY words for love. The natural eloquence of the Arabic language allows for one to express themselves much better in this regard.
English, pales by comparison and by it's very nature seems to be a language that likes to either generalise or negate certain concepts that relate to human emotion, even if they are related. For example - the many way of Love. I hope that makes sense... [it doesn't to me when I read it back]
These are my thoughts.
Scimi
It Makes perfect sense. I think this goes along well with what you are trying to say here:
A brief discussion on the linguistic nuances in verse 21 of Surat Ar-Rum.
- cOsMiC
Last edited by cOsMiCiNtUiTiOn; 06-14-2012 at 12:28 AM.
Re: This is Love- Marriage is where the story begins, not where it ends.
I decided to do a critical analysis of this article.
This is love.
And so there are some who spend their whole lives seeking. Sometimes giving, sometimes taking. Sometimes chasing. But often, just waiting. They believe that love is a place that you get to: a destination at the end of a long road. And they can’t wait for that road to end at their destination. They are those hearts moved by the movement of hearts. Those hopeless romantics, the sucker for a love story, or any sincere expression of true devotion. For them, the search is almost a lifelong obsession of sorts. But, this tragic ‘quest’ can have its costs—and its’ gifts.
Yes, there are people who spend their entire lives seeking love. They want to love and to be loved back in return. Honestly, is there a single person out there in the world who does not want love or who does not seek love? Without love, this world would not function. Think of the love that a mother has for her child. Without it, would the human race continue and go on? What about the love that is between man and wife? Without it would a marriage be happy and functional? Take the ingredient of love away from a relationship and there is something vitally missing. If a person does not seek love or want to be loved, there is something dreadfully wrong. It's more truthful to say that most of us spend our lives looking for love... Some of us are fortunate enough to find it. Others are not.
The path of expectations and the ‘falling in love with love’ is a painful one, but it can bring its own lessons. Lessons about the nature of love, this world, people, and one’s own heart, can pave this often painful path. Most of all, this path can bring its own lessons about the Creator of love.
Expecting anything from anyone isn't a good idea because one is bound to get disappointed when one's expectations are not met. But this is a general principle, not limited to expectations people have about falling in love or falling in love with love.
I didn't get the meaning of these lines.... so I continue to read it for further elaboration:
Those who take this route will often reach the knowledge that the human love they seek was not the destination. Some form of that human love, can be a gift. It can be a means. But the moment you make it the End, you will fall. And you will live your whole life with the wrong focus. You will become willing to sacrifice the Goal for the sake of the means. You will give your life to reaching a ‘destination’ of worldly perfection that does not exist.
So those who take the route of seeking love will end up not finding it because it does not exist? That it is not possible to find love? That seeking love is a futile endeavor? That we should never make it our goal to find love? That doing so is living your life with the wrong focus?
Hmmmm. It seems this is what the writer is saying. Because she continues with the following lines:
And the one who runs after a mirage, never gets there; but keeps running. And so too will you keep running, and be willing to lose sleep, cry, bleed, and sacrifice precious parts of yourself—at times, even your own dignity. But you’ll never reach what you’re looking for in this life, because what you seek isn’t a worldly destination. The type of perfection you seek cannot be found in the material world. It can only be found in God.
In other words, the writer likens the seeking of love to running after a mirage. Running after something that is non-existent. She claims that love is not real. It isn't a destination or a goal.
Well, I would have to disagree. Love can't be seen or perceived by our five senses... but it is very much real. Just as justice, mercy and compassion are real. The writer further claims that love cannot be found in the material world. And that it can only be found in God.
Again, I would have to disagree. Love is found between mother and child, husband and wife, brother and sister, friends, relatives and neighbors. Not just in God.
That image of human love that you seek is an illusion in the desert of life. So if that is what you seek, you’ll keep chasing. But no matter how close you get to a mirage, you never touch it. You don’t own an image. You can’t hold a creation of your own mind.
I wouldn't say that. Some people have been fortunate enough to find love in their lives. And because of that, they lead happy lives.
Yet, you will give your whole life, still, to reaching this ‘place’. You do this because in the fairy tale, that’s where the story ends. It ends at the finding, the joining, the wedding. It is found at the oneness of two souls. And everyone around you will make you think that your path ends there: at the place where you meet your soul mate, your other half—at the point in the path where you get married. Then and only then, they tell you, will you ever finally be complete. This, of course, is a lie because completion cannot be found in anything other than God.
In Islam, marriage is considered half your faith. Without his wife a man is incomeplete and vice versa. This is a fact... It's strange that the writer calls this a lie. It's even stranger that the writer goes on to say that completion can only be found in God.
Really? If that's the case, why get married? Why not just seek God?
Islam is a practical religion. We are not commanded to become monks or nuns.
But the lesson you’ve been taught since the time you were little—from every story, every song, every movie, every ad, every well-meaning auntie—is that you aren’t complete otherwise. And if—God forbid—you are one of the ‘outcasts’ who haven’t gotten married, or have been divorced, you are considered deficient or incomplete in some way.
I'm not sure this is the lesson we have been taught.
The lesson you’re taught is that the story ends at the wedding, and then that’s when Jennah (paradise) begins. That’s when you’ll be saved and completed and everything that was once broken will be fixed. The only problem is, that’s not where the story ends. That’s where it begins. That’s where the building starts: the building of a life, the building of your character, the building of sabr, patience, perseverance, and sacrifice. The building of selflessness. The building of love.And the building of your path back to Him.
Really? Is this the lesson that people have been taught? That the story ends at the wedding? On the contrary, there is plenty of advice given by elders regarding marriage. And much of this advice goes along the following lines: "Marriage takes work. It takes two hands to clap."
The writer is making too many generalizations and assumptions.
But if the person you marry becomes your ultimate focus in life, your struggle has just begun. Now your spouse will become your greatest test. Until you remove that person from the place in your heart that only God should be, it will keep hurting. Ironically, your spouse will become the tool for this painful extraction process, until you learn that there are places in the human heart made only by—and for—God.
Well, well, well! For a Muslim woman, her ultimate focus in life ought to be her husband. Her pleasure should lie in his pleasure. Her striving is to obey him, please him, keep him happy, help him, serve him, advice him and be there for him at all times, through the good times as well as the bad. As for the Muslim husband, his striving is to take care of his wife, provide for her, protect her, show her kindness and treat her with respect. The real test of a Muslim man lies in how he treats his wife. If a couple love each other, it makes it easier for them to take care of each other and do their duties. Take away love from their hearts and it becomes difficult for them to please one another and keep each other happy. Had Allah not put love in the hearts of husband and wife, life for them would be a chore and a drag. That's why this love is a mercy from Allah.
And here you have a writer who says that this love is but an illusion. That it does not exist. That it's a mirage. And that the only love that exists or counts is the love for God.
Among the other lessons you may learn along this path—after a long road of loss, gain, failure, success, and so many mistakes—is that there are at least 2 types of love. There will be some people you love because of what you get from them: what they give you, the way they make you feel. This is perhaps the majority of love—which is also what makes much of love so unstable. A person’s capacity to give is inconstant and changing. Your response to what you are given is also inconstant and changing. So if you’re chasing a feeling, you’ll always be chasing. No feeling is ever constant. If love is dependent on this, it too becomes inconstant and changing. And just like everything in this world, the more you chase it, the more it will run away from you.
Real love isn't so fickle. The love that the writer is describing isn't love at all.
But, once in a while, people enter your life that you love—not for what they give you—but for what they are. The beauty you see in them is a reflection of the Creator, so you love them. Now suddenly it isn’t about what you’re getting, but rather what you can give. This is unselfish love. This second type of love is the most rare. And if it is based in, and not competing with, the love of God, it will also bring about the most joy. To love in any other way is to need, to be dependent, to have expectations—all the ingredients for misery and disappointment.
For a person not to love what is good would be a strange thing. What is good is beautiful and people are attracted to what is beautiful. It's got nothing to do with giving and taking. We naturally love what is good, true, beautiful and right.
So for all those, who have spent their life seeking, know that purity of any thing is found at the Source. If it is love that you seek, seek it through God. Every other stream, not based in His love, poisons the one who drinks from it. And the drinker will continue to drink, until the poison all but kills him. He will continue to die more and more inside, until he stops and finds the pure Source of water.
Seek love through God? And all the while the writer has insisted that love is a mirage? Not a destination? Non-existent?
Allah is Al-Quddus, The Pure. He created all things.... and there is perfection in all things. The world and all things in it reflect the magnificence, might, grandeur and omnipotence of Allah. Purity of anything depends on the eyes of the beholder. The beholder who is able to see good (purity) in all things.
Once you begin to see everything beautiful as only a reflection of God’s beauty, you will learn to love in the right way: for His sake. Everything and everyone you love with be for, through and because of Him. The foundation of such love is God. So what you hold onto will no longer be just an unstable feeling, a fleeting emotion. And what you chase will no longer be just a temporary high. What you hold, what you chase, what you love, will be God: the *only* thing stable and constant. Thereafter, everything else will be through Him. Everything you give or take or love or don’t love, will be by Him. Not by your nafs. It will be for Him. Not for your nafs.
The love of God isn't such a simple thing to achieve. It requires struggle and a deep thirst for knowledge that is driven by sincerity. Only the sincere are guided by Allah, the Most High.
It is the opinion of the writer that people would learn to love in the right way only if they see God's beauty in everything. Otherwise, it isn't the "right way" to love.
I think one point is totally overlooked. Love is something that Allah casts in the hearts of people. If He does not cast this love in the heart of people, they won't have it even if they "begin to see everthing beautiful as only a reflection of God's beauty."
This means you will love what He loves and not love what He does not love. And when you do love, you will give to the creation—not for what you can get in return from them. You will love and you will give, but you will be sufficed from Him. And the one who is sufficed by God, is the richest and most generous of all lovers. Your love will be by Him, for Him, and because of Him. That is the liberation of the self from servitude to any created thing. And that is freedom. That is happiness.
That is love.
So is this the point of this article? That the only love that matters is the love of God? And all other forms of love are just illusions, mirages... non-existent and not worth pursuing?
And this article is supposed to help couples have better marriages?
Re: This is Love- Marriage is where the story begins, not where it ends.
Thank you for taking time out to give your opinion Ukhti You made some good points. I don't have time right now to reply to them but I will get to it sometime tomorrow insha Allah, long day ahead so I must get to sleep.Will be back insha Allah.
Re: This is Love- Marriage is where the story begins, not where it ends.
I have to say the article is a bit...convoluted. I didn't read all the way through it as I found it rather lengthy and didn't really get to any point, other than too many people waste time trying to find love and expecting to find that special someone who fits in their idealistic view of what the perfect spouse is.
About the only thing I completely agree on, is marriage is just the beginning. That and people do waste alot of time hoping to find that one perfect person etc. Nobody's perfect LOL At best you find somebody who you get along with and form an emotional bond of mutual respect and companionship. Most times this is done via years of good communication and willing to sacrifice. In my experiene most marriages fail due to lack of communciation...that and having patience. too much tunnel vision and charging head on without stopping to look around and listen to what the real issue is.
Re: This is Love- Marriage is where the story begins, not where it ends.
format_quote Originally Posted by dqsunday
I have to say the article is a bit...convoluted.
Yes, it is. And how beneficial is an article if one can't comprehend it?
format_quote Originally Posted by dqsunday
About the only thing I completely agree on, is marriage is just the beginning.
I believe people are smart enough to understand and observe this fact of life.
format_quote Originally Posted by dqsunday
That and people do waste alot of time hoping to find that one perfect person etc. Nobody's perfect.
Right.. nobody's perfect. And I believe most people understand this point as well. There isn't any perfect person.... but there IS something called the perfect match. I don't think it's a waste of time searching for a match that is perfect or ideal for oneself. It is another matter that it's difficult and that most people settle for mates that are less than perfect.... but that doesn't mean that one can't hope to find that perfect soul mate or that it's a waste of time trying to find one.
It is pointless to watch other people's houses crumbling when our own house is in need of repair and attention.
Re: This is Love- Marriage is where the story begins, not where it ends.
JazakAllah khayrun sis amazing post
Allah made everyone different thats what makes them special,so no matter what ppl say just remember you're SPECIAL!! "You are with the one you love"
Nem0
Re: This is Love- Marriage is where the story begins, not where it ends.
Assalamu-alaikum,
Great article and some great responses, MashaAllah.
The type of love being critisized in the article is in short - the romantic, infatuation-filled, head-over-heels, lost-all-my-senses, cant-breathe-without-you 'love'.
We have all dreamt about it (yes you have! : ) )
We may have expierenced it at some point in our lives......and it FEELS GOOD!
It is the type of emotion that sends you into a 'high' - just based on the feel-good chemical responses that are released in your brain (and other organs, lol).
We have seen this type of 'love' in the movies, read about it in novels......we have been brain-washed into believing that this is LOVE.
Instead, as Sh Hamza Yusuf mentions, this is nothing more than LUST.
A lust that is not lasting.
That as easily as it was achieved......so too, it is easily replaced by another.
It is shallow, temporary and artificial.
And its roots are embedded outside of marriage - in zina-filled pre-marital relationships.
A marriage solemnized under the sunnah of our beloved prophet (sallalahu alaihi wasalam) does not make room for this.....at all.
A man seeking marriage asks for her hand from her Wali......not from her.
They meet.
They read istikharah <--- They seek guidance from ALLAH. NOT guidance from their hearts.
They make nikkah shortly thereafter if there is a positive sign.
^ Where in this format is place for 'truly, madly, deeply, cant-get-you-out-of-my-mind' type of madness?
Yes, the world has gone mad!
And they call it love!
lol
Love within marriage is:
- Loving the other for the PLEASURE OF ALLAH.
- Working towards the same goal in life - Al Aakhirah < -- Can there be any divorces if THIS was our goal?
- Knowing that your spouse is a means of ful-filling half your IMAAN <-- What an immense status in Islam!
- And importantly - its not as much about 'giving and receiving' as it is how you make the other FEEL.
“I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.” (Maya Angelou) <--How true is this?
May Allah (subhanawataála) fill our hearts with understanding..... and love for HIM and his Rasul (sallalahu alaihi wasalam) that surpasses all else.
Ameen.
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~ Sabr ~ liked this post
I don't think so, this is for both men and women. Go browse through the "i cant get married" kind of threads, read them fully then come back here and read the article, so u understand what is being said here. It applies to both genders.
You made some good points. I don't have time right now to reply to them but I will get to it sometime tomorrow insha Allah, long day ahead so I must get to sleep.Will be back insha Allah.
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