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  1. #1
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    Is marriage important? (OP)


    Assalamu alaikum warahmatullah

    Hope everyone is doing well.

    I'm worried about one thing. I hope I will get answers. Is it really important in life to marry? Isn't it ok if a woman decides that she won't marry anyone? Is there anything wrong with this?

  2. #21
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    Re: Is marriage important?

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    format_quote Originally Posted by keiv View Post
    Strength to increase your knowledge of the deen. Strength to make you stronger in iman. Strength to remove suicidal thoughts. Strength to be able to handle whatever situations you may face.


    Aoa. It is still confusing. So one should just accept fate and do dua around it? I recite the Quran daily, offer prayers and do everything I can to increase eman. But when I think about marrying a guy I have no interest in, really puts me off. Family says after marriage things will get better. Automatically, I will begin to like that guy. If not, then divorce is not an option so I will have to live with him regardless. Can I do dua to bring back my hope? I ask Allah for anything, then why do dua for strength and not what I want? Should I measure the social variables and implications of a dua before doing it? Can we do dua for things we have lost due to our mistakes? Can we do dua tk change our patents' heart or anyone's heart for that matter or just do generic duas, so that when the ones we wanted do not materialise we don't lose faith?
    Last edited by iammuslim98; 1 Week Ago at 11:43 AM.
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    Re: Is marriage important?

    format_quote Originally Posted by iammuslim98 View Post
    Aoa. Strength for what? To be able to spend my entire life and even eternity with a guy i dont find attractive at all, who isn't religious even. Hasn't recited the quran once. I feel like killing myself but scared of the aftermath since I've never been a good Muslim in the first place.. Should I do dua to Allah to grant me what I want? Or should I just go with the flow?
    you two need to either consult a sheikh, a lawyer, or move out. no one has the right to do this to you. try reaching out to supportive relatives too.
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    Re: Is marriage important?

    Also consult a mental health professional if you are having suicidal thoughts. Call the police. I repeat call the police or get some form of help. https://www.childline.org.uk/info-ad...rced-marriage/

    Forced marriage | Childline
    Forced marriages can happen in secret and can also be planned by parents, family or religious leaders. It may involve physical abuse, sexual abuse or emotional abuse....
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  6. #24
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    Re: Is marriage important?

    format_quote Originally Posted by SintoDinto View Post
    Also consult a mental health professional if you are having suicidal thoughts. Call the police. I repeat call the police or get some form of help. https://www.childline.org.uk/info-ad...rced-marriage/

    Forced marriage | Childline
    Forced marriages can happen in secret and can also be planned by parents, family or religious leaders. It may involve physical abuse, sexual abuse or emotional abuse....
    I have deleted my message!
    Last edited by xboxisdead; 1 Week Ago at 04:27 AM.
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    Re: Is marriage important?

    format_quote Originally Posted by SintoDinto View Post
    Also consult a mental health professional if you are having suicidal thoughts. Call the police. I repeat call the police or get some form of help. https://www.childline.org.uk/info-ad...rced-marriage/

    Forced marriage | Childline
    Forced marriages can happen in secret and can also be planned by parents, family or religious leaders. It may involve physical abuse, sexual abuse or emotional abuse....


    Aoa. The police sides with the parents (cultural thing). I did talk to a professional regarding my mental help a few times but couldnt afford them long term. I have nothing but dua. But my sins are definitely getting the best of me. Nothing left but to accept qadr.
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  9. #26
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    Re: Is marriage important?

    format_quote Originally Posted by xboxisdead View Post
    Another cliché story of ignorance. This is sheer example, example A of what happens when we go astray from path of Allah and increase in ignorance in our deen and our rights. Sister, your story will only worsen for future women and men alike. It is simple. No parent is allowed or have any authority or right to force marriage to any of their children, period. You have full right not to get married at all and stay single the rest of your life, if you want. You want to stay single, be empowered, work, run a business and contribute to the world politically and economically and sponsor a child (you can only sponsor female child/children) and raise that child alone and never touch, see or have any relationship with the opposite sex? Go for it. It is your choice and your right. You want to get a master's degree and become the smartest person in the world, run your own business, have men and women working under you and enjoy that power and proclaim wealth and be the richest person in the world an die single and wealthy? That is your right, your choice and no one have right to stop you or prevent you from doing that. Go at it. Fill your fill if that what makes you happy. Either way, you are not forced into marriage and no parent have right to marry you by force to anyone you don't want too or say no too. Even if he is the smartest, most handsomest, richest, best of character man with charming personality. If your choice of men, the ugliest, most poorest, dumbest person but he is of good character and deen and you want to bark orders and be qayama in that house and take care of him financially and support him and that gives you fill because he is like a crippled poppy and it makes you feel needed, wanted and empowered...that is your right also. I hope this clears it once and for all.
    Do you not believe that women should be married to their kufu?
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  10. #27
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    Re: Is marriage important?

    I believe women should marry which ever type of a man that she wants to get married too. It is not right for any parent to force her into marriage. I also believe if she wants to be single the rest of her life, it is her right also. If she wants to run a business and sponsor children and raise them alone, she can do that also. If she wants a type of a man where she is the qayama and that makes her happy and the man who marries her agree with these terms and he obeys his wife and he is happy with that, nothing stops her from doing that. What I don't believe is forced marriage. If a woman wants to stay single, childless and live alone and that makes her happy that is her life also. I don't know what kufu is though, please explain it to me.
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  11. #28
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    Re: Is marriage important?

    format_quote Originally Posted by xboxisdead View Post
    I believe women should marry which ever type of a man that she wants to get married too. It is not right for any parent to force her into marriage. I also believe if she wants to be single the rest of her life, it is her right also. If she wants to run a business and sponsor children and raise them alone, she can do that also. If she wants a type of a man where she is the qayama and that makes her happy and the man who marries her agree with these terms and he obeys his wife and he is happy with that, nothing stops her from doing that. What I don't believe is forced marriage. If a woman wants to stay single, childless and live alone and that makes her happy that is her life also. I don't know what kufu is though, please explain it to me.
    Kufu means compatibility. Please go through this article to understand what it means: http://www.shariahprogram.ca/women-islam/kafaah.shtml

    I don't know if all that is really required for marriage.
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    Re: Is marriage important?

    format_quote Originally Posted by bint e aisha View Post
    Kufu means compatibility. Please go through this article to understand what it means: http://www.shariahprogram.ca/women-islam/kafaah.shtml

    I don't know if all that is really required for marriage.
    I am not sure it is required. I doubt you will find anyone really compatible with other. Follow the Qura'an and the prophet in how to get married and what to find for partner.

    Kafa'ah (Suitablity and Compatibility) in Nikah
    A healthy marital life coupled with a good relationship make up the prime objects of Nikah. That is only possible when natural inclinations and backgrounds are shared (by both spouses)...
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