If a wife a leaves her husband because he is a good man, provider, super nice to her (OP)
I have a question to ask. If a husband never abuses his wife, never verbally abuses his wife, never hit her, he is super nice, sweat, works really hard for her, provide for her, tries his best to look the best for her, tries his best to protect her and her honor and these are the attributes that put her off and she files divorce against her husband because she cannot stand such sweetness and niceness and is repulsed by him working really hard and providing her...is that the fault of the husband or the wife? Would she be punished for filing divorce against her husband for this reason in the afterlife? Should the husband change and be more aggressive, abusive, verbally abusive, less reliable for his future wife? Would that be a better character of a husband?
In this attachment you see a Muslim woman divorcing her husband because he is too sweet. You see, if the prophet peace be upon him is alive amongst now and he is married to the modern women now...the standard where we men find now he will be divorced by his wife because he is a prophet peace be upon him (authobillah) You see....if a man tries to follow the steps of the prophet peace be upon him where women claim they need men like that, these same women who bash men, attack men, or claim men are abusive or not even close to the prophet...these same women will divorce these men because they are following the prophet peace be upon him. So what men need to learn from this lesson is to completly ignore what women say or ask for because I don't think women know what they want themselves. As you can see there is over 7,600,000 google search of difference cases including Muslim women asking for divorce JUST BECAUSE the husband is trying to follow the footstep of the prophet peace be upon him. That is indeed a reality.
Here is what men should do, follow Allah and his prophet and seek Allah's pleasure alone and exclusive only. Even if your wife goes to your face and spit on your face because you are focused on pleasing Allah and not hear, take that spit from your face and divorce her and separate from her and smile knowing you are pleasing Allah and not her. If your wife hurl insults at you for following the Sunnah and bash your beard and call you monkey and cave man, divorce her and and grow that beard even bigger for the pleasure of Allah alone and not for her. If your children hurl insults at you and hate you because you are obeying Allah and his prophets and pleasing Allah alone and following the Qura'an and Sunnah, look at your children and imagine they are decomposed food or trash in a bag and smelly and need to be thrown in the trashcan. Allah will replace these children with something better in the afterlife if not here. Focus on pleasing Allah alone and don't bother your head with them...it doesn't matter if they got your half DNA...who cares. If your family is waging war against you because you are a good believing Muslim and wanting to follow the Sunnah 100% then look at them as your open enemy and not family. Try to limit interaction with them as much as possible to avoid their bad energy entering your system.
Remember, your children and your wife could be your open enemy. They could lure you to hellfire and that is the ultimate losing end.
Last edited by xboxisdead; 04-30-2022 at 06:47 AM.
Woman, few of them, lower in social hierarchy do love whatcit seems a jerk, a criminal etc.l.
I don't think it is that few my friend lol
Remember as days and pass by the new generation women will be more liberal and have feminist in their blood vs older and older generation of women. Much like men so as women we get worse and worse. It have to get worse, how else we will reach end of time. If not in my erra or erra after us, it's for sure the erra after that and that....but it is not waiting for that, it is already happening here as we speak. Tell any woman right now that she is not pleasing Allah on her dress code and you will find endless verbal reply and reasons why you should shut up and mind your own business or endless justification why she is doing it right and you have to shut your mouth. It is just like that.
When Women Leave Good Men
On honoring your own feelings rather than society’s expectations
My fingers were flying across my keyboard late one night after my husband and I split, hoping Google would be able to validate my seemingly tactless behavior. I searched “My husband is great and I left him,” “I left a good man, now what?,” “Am I making a mistake for leaving a good man?,” and “Why did I leave a good man?”
My eyes darted across the screen every time I pressed “enter” looking for someone — anyone — who could reassure me I wasn’t making a huge mistake. As it turns out, there aren’t a lot of childless thirtysomething women on the first few pages of Google writing about divorcing their all-American college sweethearts after a half-decade of marriage. Stories about women leaving their abusive husbands filled my search results. Finally, I stumbled across an article written by a woman who left her praiseworthy husband because she felt like she had no other choice. Something wasn’t right.
As I scrolled to the end of the article to evaluate its length, hundreds of comments — the kind you can’t look away from — popped up on my screen. “Women who leave good men are selfish!” said one woman. “This woman is frivolous and is setting herself up for future regret!” said another. The vengeance from the you-can’t-leave-a-good-man commenters grew with every woman who attempted to defend the author, whose story — as I later read — was eerily similar to my own: a young divorcee trying to make sense of her evolving life.
As I continued into the depths of the internet, the comments from these anonymous women started eating at the outer edges of my already broken heart. The ounce of relatability and validation I found from the author was suddenly buried in centuries of beliefs about life and marriage. No matter how hard I tried to push the comments out of my mind, they kept barging their way to the front, forcing me to listen.
While silly, the comments held weight for me. Growing up, I viewed marriage as black-and-white. It was done one way, and once the final word of your vows left your mouth, your job was to sacrifice a part of yourself because that’s what marriage is. Leaving was not an option unless you had good reason. Unless your husband was on drugs, cheated, or put you and your family at risk, you were to repress your emotions and unfulfilled dreams.
Listening to our emotions is, at best, almost as taboo as divorce, and, at worse, pointless and irresponsible. In order to be a productive and contributing member of society, we are taught to ignore emotions that distract us from fulfilling the status quo. You’re gay? Go to this special class to eradicate your truth. You want to leave your good husband because of a feeling? Get stronger so you can move the rock that’s lodged up inside of you.
While coming out of the closet and divorce are very different experiences, the religious and cultural undertones in both feel similar—they tell us to ignore our truth to stay on the righteous path. If we just wish and pray hard enough, God or some other divine being will relieve our demons.
I laid sleepless in bed that night, dissecting and unraveling this unfortunate social construct. Should I have done more therapy to silence the voice inside me — the one relentlessly telling me I was in the wrong marriage? Is this really my only shot with a good man? The more my mind twisted and turned, the angrier I became at society and its invisible set of happiness-slaying rules.
The you-can’t-leave-a-good-man women argued it was better to be with a good man, even if he wasn’t the right man. In other words, it’s better to lie to yourself and your husband about your feelings, because leaving a man sweet enough to get down on a knee is not only life’s greatest risk–it’s life’s greatest sin.
I remember writing this out and almost marveling at the irony. I had more love and respect for my husband than just about anyone else in my life. And thankfully, I had just enough love and respect for myself to understand how tragic it would have been for both of us if I didn’t honor my own feelings. Because if I didn’t honor my own feelings, I would be lying to myself and my husband, which felt far more like a betrayal than leaving.
I’m not naive to the fact that there are trying times in every relationship and that most husbands and wives want to strangle each other in their sleep, sometimes for years at a time. Yet people stay for two reasons: the core of their being wants to stay — to keep trying no matter how frustrating it is, or they’re too afraid to stand in their truth and sacrifice all that comes with that. We either sacrifice a life we are okay with, or we sacrifice ourselves. Too often, we sacrifice ourselves.
The biggest lesson I learned from my marriage and divorce is that the truths we feel deep within us stand the test of time. You can hide them, you can try to work through them, you can lie to yourself about them, but they will eventually beat you down so hard, you’re forced to surrender. And when you surrender, you grant yourself a free pass to be selfish. And sometimes, to leave a really good man.
Last edited by xboxisdead; 05-01-2022 at 12:56 AM.
Re: If a wife a leaves her husband because he is a good man, provider, super nice to
That's the crisis of modern marriages and "relative decadence".
Women are nowdays "empowered, enacipated", a lot more educated than before, with degrees, with housing, with boyfriends track, with a lot of PLAN Bs in a megapolis, 30-40 % alimentation rights (especially if you are 6 or 7 figures), they just want a kid (often oficially yours) etc.
This does not happen with vast majority of practicing muslim women, but maybe does with second or third generation of non practicing, but earning immigrants.
Moral men wanting marriage need to improve themself a lot more.
Often the zinna men are more successful and on positions of power.
In some countries, some average or better looking (or into fitness, nutrition, spas) women get almost everything throught zinna-their lovers. They often have many of them.
Sadly, as it leads to a lot of decadence and problems.
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