I am living with my parents after marriage with my wife for about 1.5 years. There have been some issues particularly from my wife's side, regarding this situation. My parents and I have made so many efforts to make this work. My mother in particular has, given her the right to manage the whole household expenses herself. My mother doesn't order my wife to do any work, but my wife can do the household chores whenever she feels like and whatever she feels like doing. My parents dont interefere in our persobal affairs and we always go out and enjoy as married couples do. My mother tries to help my wife too with chores. My sister really helps out around taking care of particularly my parents needs.
On the other hand ny wife has also made efforts to work hard and take care of my parents, as she does understand that its a major good deed from her side. But now my wife has just completely backed off and has become very cold and distant towards my whole family, including my parents. My siblings may visit, but she would stay in her room. Its reached a point, where she is coming off as very strange and disrespectful. My wife never believed in living with my parents and always believed in having her own home. I personally always believed that living with parents is not as bad as people have always made it. I always believed I would give her everything she needs, including her own home for her space, but would encourage that I should at least not leave my parents and if she would stay, then it's a great deed. I would never force her and it's her right to do what she likes in this issue.
I want to only buy a house in a halal way, not using the conventional mortage system which riba based. Rent is another option, but it's an extremely expensive option and savings would be almost impossible. My parents have already agreed to let me and wife go and help us to possibly arrange a house in a year or two. I've discussed with my wife all this and have requested to hold out a little longer and try to keep her behaviour good with everyone. Find happiness and be thankful for what she has.
Any moral support or guidance would be greatly appreciated.
Peace be with you Endo,
It sounds like you are trying to do everything right, and with the best intentions. Relationships are probably one of the hardest things we do in life, talking from personal experience, the first forty years of marriage are the hardest, then it gets harder. Hard does not mean impossible, it means we have to keep trying harder. When we fix one problem, there is always another struggle looming.
Patience is not just about learning to wait, it is more about waiting with a good attitude. When events don't happen in our time, we can always turn to Allah and ask for his guidance and help to do his will. When we put our trust in Allah, we have hope that something good can come from all our troubles.
May Allah bless you, your wife and family as you journey through life.
Eric
You will never look into the eyes of anyone who does not matter to God.
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