The Path that led me to Allaah. - A Prequel to the heart-break series -

:salamext:


The Path that led me to Allaah.
- A Prequel to the heart-break series -

:salamext:


Part 1.


It's authentically reported that the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) said:

[FONT=Times New Roman,Times][SIZE=+1]"I have not left behind me any temptation more harmful for men than women." (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)[/SIZE][/FONT]



The beginning..


He was sitting in class daydreaming.. it was a warm day today, the sun was shining. He couldn't wait for the lesson to finish.


Something hit his head. The girls behind him in class were laughing.

Huh? he thought to himself.


He turned around, they pointed to his chair and started laughing at each other again.. he looked down and saw a folded paper.



Should i open it? Or just ignore them? He chose to open it.

As he opened it, it had an email address.


What? Was that really the right thing to do, he thought to himself?


He ignored it and carried on with his work.



Another time, it hit his head.. he picked it up again and checked;


He couldn't be bothered with this.. he waited a little while, and the bell went. Home time!



He left the class, went through the corridors and stood next to the gates, waiting for his mates to meet him. As he waited, he saw that these mates were with them girls now. They were talking, he got abit impatient now. So he ran home.



Everyone was at home already, watching TV. He sat down and started watching it aswell. His dad came home after a while.


"We've got internet today!"


What's that? he asked.


You can see all the world through it.


Serios!?


Yeah, you can even talk to people on it, watch tv, you can do nearly anything.


Wow, kool.


"You'll have to explain to me how it works though, i'll set it up for you and you can try to connect the internet."



Okay dad, thanks. This is well kool.

I wonder what you can do with it..?
​

- The next day at school -


We've got internet at home now!


That's kool man, you should come on msn some time.


What's that?


You can chat online with us, it's really fun.


I never knew there was stuff like this.. i'll probably be able to use it because my bro has a computer in the bedroom.


You need to make a hotmail account though, it's really easy. Just go on their site and create an email address and then you can come on msn.


Thanks, man.




All day i was looking forward to going on the net, it was my first time and i could even chat to my mates there! I wasn't too old then, maybe i was around 13years old.


I came home, ate and then rushed to the bedroom. I switched on the computer and made an email address. I downloaded msn and logged in. My friend had already given me his email address, so i added him.. but he wasn't online.


hmm.. this is weird. I waited for a little while, and started to browse over hotmail. It was my first time afterall.

I got bored after abit, so i started checking out all the features of msn.


I saw a button, which caught my attention.

So we chatted abit on msn.. the conversation was abit dry since i was new to all of this.


Later my friends came on msn so i stopped talking to this new person, they never really gave their name or anything. Anyway, we ended up blocking and deleting each other.. but was this really the ending?

Or is this where the plot unfolds from?​

I woke up the next morning, it was the weekend today. This whole thing was new to me, so i was still excited to check up on what was new.


I can't really remember much that happened in family life, but i was abit bored of that.. so i spent more time on the computer. Being new to High school [uk] or Junior High [US] makes you want to have more friends, maybe that was the reason why i went on it alot.



That day i logged on, i could see the msn figure spinning around trying to login. Then the window logged in, but there was something different.
Take a wild guess which one i picked? I was bored like i said before. But before accepting, i thought twice about it. This wasn't just a mate i knew at school..



The friend who told me about msn was online.

​

The next time i logged in.. this person was still online. It was probably their first time to visit the net too, since it was something new for us teens.


They started the conversation with me, i felt abit uncomfortable.. but i replied back so i didn't seem rude.

We chatted, and became friends. Then we spoke to each other at school, sometimes. Then she would send letters in class, and i would reply.


I never really liked her, but i felt sorry for her. I didn't like hurting anyone, and i was a friendly person back then. Maybe that's why i played along?



Anyway this msn thing was kool, so i spoke to people from my school. I became more confident gradually, it affected the way i thought, and i was more confident with other people and able to speak out if i had to.



To cut things short - as weeks and even months progressed, the conversations continued and the friendship increased. The gurl started showing feelings, sometimes hinting it while other times explaining to their mates. So when i'd be at school, i'd get stares by people.. but back then, who didn't want to be popular?



Why didn't i move seats in class? It's because the teachers sometimes put people in alphabetical order (stop laughing lol, i know its weird) so yeah, that's why i couldn't move places. And that's why i carried on getting first class mail. That's what happened another day, i got airmail this time and it hit my head.

hm.. i just couldn't be bothered so i stayed quiet again. My mate asked me what it said, i just ignored everyone. I wasn't used to all this.


Anyway one day i was with my mates at break, and a group of people approached me. Guess who? They started laughing again so i knew something was up.

:salamext:


I think she was sad alot, and her friends would say to me that i hurt her bad. I never knew what to do, so i said okay.


We met up outside of school, spoke to each other. Never really did anything deep, but we saw a movie, an action one lol. It turns out when i came home, someone had triggered the alarm - someone had seen me and busted me, and it passed onto the family.

Uh-oh. lol who doesn't know that being an asian means you have relatives everywhere, and to top it off - dating with someone isn't allowed anyway, unless it's with your spouse. I came home and everyone knew what had happened.


I got grounded.



This was a moment in life where i totally had to go through a reflection period, was i really doing the right thing? Some people even told me that i couldn't really hurt her, since love can't happen when you're so young. Now i know it can happen, but back then i never. We know this because Aa'isha (may Allaah be pleased with her) loved Allaah's Messenger (peace be upon him) at a young age.

What was i supposed to do? I couldn't tell her that i want to end it. That's the only reason i had accepted it. But i had to, so i did.



Everyone was suspicious when i would go on the computer, so i wouldn't use msn now. I needed help and was in a state of weakness. So i turned to Allaah/God, i tried to look at what the Islamic view to this whole situation was. I knew it wasn't allowed, but why wasn't it allowed?

I found some info on how innocent love which might start off as 'love on first sight' usually isn't that innocent afterall, especially when it can have harmful consequences i.e. heart-break, and heartbreak can lead to enmity, jealousy, hatred. Relationships outside of marriage can also break up ties, sex outside of marriage can also lead to children who might not know who their father is etc. which can have harmful pyschological effects on the child. Since this whole game is basically a 'hit and run' idea.



I went back to school after the weekend, and everyone was hyped up. Knowing that they have a mate who's got a 'girlfriend.' They were even more hyped because someone asian was with someone white. That's how people were for some reason.

Some asian girls would give the evils (not everyones racist, but i'm just saying.) I didn't know what to do, because in reality - i was just trying to please someone, while not knowing the evils which would come leak out of it in the future.



Guess what happened? Maths is everday, which meant that i was in that seat everyday.

The laughing behind me was louder, and now even my mate knew that something had happened over the weekend.


I was embarrassed to discuss it while knowing what had happened at home - i had reflected alot there.


I recieved the mail; Did you have a good time with my mate?



​

:salamext:



I waited abit before i replied.. so much things were going through my head. I ignored the question on the creased up paper, and gave a direct answer.


I never really got a reply, they had quietened down now. Anyway everyone who knew by now was wondering why it had happened, how one day it had just 'started' and on that same day it had 'ended?'


My friends asked me too, i stayed quiet.. i never really wanted it in the first place, and now i hurt alot of people in the process. I wasn't pleased with that, since my first intention was to please someone so i don't get them hurt.



Maybe people thought i was trying to get attention? But how could that be if i would get more by sticking to it?

Others thought i was afraid, i was kind of.. since i was new to all this popularity. I usually stayed quiet now, and the same people would approach me and i would remain quiet, not answering their questions.


They would ask me the same things, the why's and how's. But it had ended, no matter how stubborn they thought i was. I had prayed to Allaah to save me from more trials, and the praise is for Him that i never really faced as much now, from the people or family.


This phase lasted for around 2years, and the praise is for Allaah that it gradually died out. She became abit more maturer, and the constant questioning - they got tired of it. As time progressed, it was officially over.



Now that things were becoming normal once again, i carried on using msn every now and then to chat to my mates. Not as much, but just to pass some time.

Throughout these two years i would learn a little about the stories of the many reverts who had started joining Islaam, and i would check out Islamic Magazines. Scientific miracles from Qur'an and all that.

I was about 15 now.



These years made me reflect alot, yet i still wasn't firm in my Islaam. I never really had any good understanding of the basics, and i never really had any firm principles to hold onto, this would be a big disadvantage for me in my near future.



To be continued...


​

:salamext:


Part 2.

​

I would go to school and get on with my work, but the pressure of exams started to come up now that i was half way through high school (or Junior High in the US.)

I wasn't as focused as i used to be in the past, who doesn't? This is the time in your life when you see the world differently, you think differently, imagine life differently, and see things from another angle to how you did before.

I was more relaxed now, more confident. But not too much, just enough to make my voice heard. Before the past phase i was totally shy and quiet.


So yeah, life was different now. I had changed alot, and i was kind of happy about that.



Near the beginning when i got msn, alot of people from our class had shared their email ads like i told you earlier. And there was this other person from class which i liked, but i'd never tell anyone that. Alot of guys liked her, and she was the phase 1's "half-friend." She didn't really care that i had given up the other one, but emotions is emotions init?

I remember one day when i was walking back from school with a mate, and he told me that a guy and a girl can't simply be mates, there's gota be someone from among them who has feelings for the other. Even if they don't show it. That's true, and i know that now.



So remember that times passed by now, it's two years later. I've come back on msn properly back again, after a long time. I've blocked the first person, i had to since i realised that i gota either take the whole package, or block all means. I did that, so we never spoke no more.

That doesn't mean i blocked all my previous contacts, it just means that i still had a doorway to other trials which i never knew could come up yet...



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