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View Poll Results: Who is more at fault?

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25. Login to vote on this poll
  • Scandalous dressers

    4 16.00%
  • Sinister Eyes ffended:

    1 4.00%
  • Both

    20 80.00%
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  1. #1
    Array Noor's Avatar
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    Sinful Glare…who’s Fault? (OP)




    In institutions outside the comfort of a home, male and female interaction is contact which every Muslim finds difficulty overcoming. Sparked by comments made in the ‘What school/college do you go to?’ I decided to start this thread for the purpose of clarification concerning approach/feelings offered by members of the opposite gender.

    The predicament? Let’s use the presence/interaction of males and females attending school in a non-Muslim environment. People from all walks of life go to such institutions as do many Muslim youth/adults. We are bound to confront issues which challenge our faith such as dress code and relations between the sexes.

    Now, brothers and sisters, here is what’s most important. Who is more at fault? The one who wears clothing that can be described as scandalous? Or, are the stares of immoral eyes more damaging?

    Quote Originally Posted by Z View Post
    Salaam.
    Well maybe if bits were not being shown off, men would easier to be able to lower their gaze a little. Don't use it as a hit-back, you got to cover up. Regardless whether anyone looks at you or not.
    Quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    Besides that, whether a girl (muslim or non) is not covered up, all that's ur business is to lower ur gaze and make dua for her guidance, but instead u all choose to stare at her and then comment. If you are able to give out a detailed comment, then brothers uve been staring too long.
    So, some of you may say, what’s the point to this thread?…obviously is a collective action that is destroying our souls and schools, what are you getting at? To those of you who are thinking this way, I dare to allow your mind to think critically.

    Quote Originally Posted by solid_snake View Post
    it's not only the clothes, the way they talk and act with guys, and while guys walk by them they sure as hell don't lower their gaze.
    Must we allow this type of thinking to further occur?


    Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    "Faisbir sabran jameelan".Therefore endure with a goodly patience (70:05)

  2. #41
    Z's Avatar
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    Re: Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

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    Salaam.

    If we all end it here. I shall dress properly. I shall lower my gaze. I shall tell my friends the same. If they don't listen, I shall make better friends.

    Stop arguing over something for the sake of it. It's almost as if you're showing off now. Quit it. Perv at a burger.
    Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Got a question, or got something in general to say or ask me, drop me a line. Peace out!

    - Z.

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  4. #42
    Silver Pearl's Avatar
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    Re: Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Quote Originally Posted by Z View Post
    Salaam.


    Stop arguing over something for the sake of it. It's almost as if you're showing off now. Quit it. Perv at a burger.
    Wa alaykum salam,

    Brother, no one is arguing for the sake of it, I’d rather play solitaire. If we hush our mouth and sit by the corner this issue won’t disappear. I suppose it is better to come to a solution than brush it under the carpet. If I came across as ‘showing off’ then I seek refugee in Allah (swt) from the sin that comes from arrogance and pride.
    I just gave you a solution. Gee. Wait let me guess, you will go around each board on the internet creating this same thing till everyone gets it. How genius.
    Perhaps you have not realised but i'm not the post starter.....
    Last edited by Silver Pearl; 01-26-2006 at 08:05 PM.
    Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    وَاصْبِرْ وَمَا صَبْرُكَ إِلاَّ بِاللّهِ


    ما بعرف انا شو حسيت

  5. #43
    Z's Avatar
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    Re: Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Salaam.

    I just gave you a solution. Gee. Wait let me guess, you will go around each board on the internet creating this same thing till everyone gets it. How genius.

    Oh my, this burger is not well dressed.
    Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Got a question, or got something in general to say or ask me, drop me a line. Peace out!

    - Z.

  6. #44
    Muezzin's Avatar
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    Re: Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Quote Originally Posted by Z View Post
    Oh my, this burger is not well dressed.
    The burger might not be well dressed, but its salad sure is!

    *rimshot*

    *crickets chirp*

    And I voted 'Both' - blokes shouldn't stare and ladies shouldn't dress like that in the first place.

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  8. #45
    Halima's Avatar
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    Re: Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?



    Please for the sake of Allah(swt) let us just stick to the topic and learn from everyone else. We all have great views here and it would be foolish of us to atleast not consider the fact.


    Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Do your charity in the name of Da'wah and help us out

    Insha'Allah Khair.



  9. #46
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    Re: Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Salaam.

    Exactly. And women shouldn't stare, and men should try dress decent too.
    Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Got a question, or got something in general to say or ask me, drop me a line. Peace out!

    - Z.

  10. #47
    Lateralus63's Avatar
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    Re: Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    Assalamu Alaikum
    Do you ever think that the males have an influence in how the females dress??


    Im a man myself. It really doesnt take much effort to walk on the street with your head on the floor. Or just buy a newspaper. Or a book. Most men just....idle around, dont lower their gaze. And then place the blame on scantily dressed women.

    Lemme tell you something about placing the blame (scapegoating) Its only purpose is to make the action in question more justified.

    Or how about that some of these women arent even Muslimahs, so technically you cant blame your sinning for them dressing immodestly?
    Islam says, if you see the woman first, like accidentaly. Then you are under no sin. If you put ur head up to see her a second time willfully. Then you get the sin. So i think what you said is very dangerous, because men ARE to blame since islam has allowed this "first chance" as it were.

    Again. Implying that women are to blame, means that men dont have a choice in not looking at women. I mean this is a very serious implication because we all know Allah (swt) does not burden a soul more than it can bear and he always gives choices.
    Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Post count means nothing. So dont pursue it.

  11. #48
    *charisma*'s Avatar
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    Re: Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Assalamu Alaikum

    Islam says, if you see the woman first, like accidentaly. Then you are under no sin. If you put ur head up to see her a second time willfully. Then you get the sin. So i think what you said is very dangerous, because men ARE to blame since islam has allowed this "first chance" as it were.

    Again. Implying that women are to blame, means that men dont have a choice in not looking at women. I mean this is a very serious implication because we all know Allah (swt) does not burden a soul more than it can bear and he always gives choices.
    Jazak Allah khair for your reply, I'm not going to reply this thread yet fully until i am able to answer all points of the matter, and there are many points to address.

    For example, When one looks at the opposite gender unintentionally as their first glance, would it be a sin for them to continue to gaze until they had their fill in that first glance??

    We only have control over our own actions and the only way we can change someone else is if they admire our modesty and actions. If one were to gaze intentionally, they cannot put blame on the person they are staring at whatsoever, whether they are dressed modestly or not.

    If a man had desires for young girls, can you blame the young girls?? not really. This also works vice versa, im not putting any blame on specific genders here, but rather the individuals themselves.

    Inshallah ill prepare a full answer to this topic

    Barak Allah feekum

    fi aman Allah
    w'salaam
    Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    D e a t h

    is the easiest
    of all things after it
    ; ;

    the hardest
    of all things before it

  12. #49
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    Re: Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Quote Originally Posted by Silver Pearl View Post
    Furthermore, both options require to have a gender in order to get your point across thus one has to be in reference to women and the other to men. Therefore, it is not anyone’s fault for such assumption because there is a justification for concluding such thing.


    I invite you to come to Canada where males dress to impress and females have their tongues hanging. Blameworthiness is truly sensitive to each case, as is the individual and the action. Maybe it is that we need to believe that it is neccessary to identify the gender to verify the action? Is this one of the issues in this dilemma.

    Quote Originally Posted by aamirsaab View Post
    Seriously, it is both - you can't just blame the male nor can you blame the sister.
    Brother Aamirsaab,

    Why is it the you refer to one as a gender (male in this case) and the other as someone close to you in nature (sister in this case) ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Takumi View Post
    (1) Some hijaabis just drool over the shaykh after he finishes his lecture. I didn't see them lowering down their gaze. Maybe asking question is permissible. So, it's the shaykh's fault? Or maybe some hijaabi's were droolling over Hamza Yusuf asking him to sign his book.
    JazakAllah for bringing that up.

    Thats it for now, need some sleep.

    Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    "Faisbir sabran jameelan".Therefore endure with a goodly patience (70:05)

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    samina1's Avatar
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    Re: Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    [S]subhanallah y must da shytaan have all da power over u guys right nw, plz read dua n say istigforiuallah, bcz its nt worth makin shytaan win his goalz..[/S]
    ma salam
    fiamaniallah

  15. #51
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    Re: Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Quote Originally Posted by Noor View Post

    Brother Aamirsaab,

    Why is it the you refer to one as a gender (male in this case) and the other as someone close to you in nature (sister in this case) ?
    It's that time of the month.

  16. #52
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    Re: Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?



    both are at fault..

    those who put themselves on display and those who see them..

    reminds me of the hadith of rasool (saw) when he was with ayesha (ra) and a blind man walks in but ayesah (ra) hesitates to put hijab when rasool (saw) asks her why and she replies its because hes blind but he replies to ayesha (ra) are you blind? i.e. you can see him.. so go cover yourself!

    Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    (29:2-3) Do men think they will be left alone on saying, "We believe", and they will not be tested? For sure we will test them as we have tested those who came before them, to show (them) the truthful of the honest and the liars in their falsehood."

  17. #53
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    Re: Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    Assalamu Alaikum
    For example, When one looks at the opposite gender unintentionally as their first glance, would it be a sin for them to continue to gaze until they had their fill in that first glance??
    w'salaam


    *smile* ah i remember when my teacher went over that point. He made some good jokes (like constantly staring at the student who asked the same question you did lol !!) Anyway, a first gaze is just, you look, you quickly realise, and then you look down.

    If someone keeps staring for a long period because he feels its his "first gaze" ....y3ani this goes against the whole hadith of Inamal 3amalo bin niyat to be honest.
    Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Post count means nothing. So dont pursue it.

  18. #54
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    Re: Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Quote Originally Posted by Noor View Post
    :
    Brother Aamirsaab,

    Why is it the you refer to one as a gender (male in this case) and the other as someone close to you in nature (sister in this case) ?
    It wasn't intentional and doesn't contain hidden messages (all those who are analysing me on my posts can now stop ). It's perfectly clear what I meant .

    In short, it's a typo.
    Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Book on sharia law Updated!
    Mosque-a-mania!
    Someone said to the Prophet, "Pray to God against the idolaters and curse them." The Prophet replied, "I have been sent to show mercy and have not been sent to curse." (Muslim)
    ''Become the change''

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    Re: Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?



    I think we have all come to the conclusion that indeed it isnt a specific sex that has more burden over the opposite sex. Both of us muslim women and men are requested to both dress modestly and act modest.

    • Allah says: “Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty. That will make for greater purity for them, and Allah is acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty…” [Sûrah al-Nûr: 30-31]


    Thread closed.
    Sinful Glare…who’s Fault?

    Do your charity in the name of Da'wah and help us out

    Insha'Allah Khair.




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