What do you do when you have been praying for this one thing this one thing in each and every dua that you have made, each and every day for the past year and the opposite of what you had prayed for happens?
what do you do when you are put in situation where you have no control over anything and Allah swt has given full control to the other person and all He has left in your possession is dua and you make all the dua that you can possibly make and hold onto every bit of patience you can possibly find and make more dua to the Almighty and ask Him for patience and you hold onto everything and anything you can find within you to keep you going and holding on?
what do you do when you have given your all to this one person and in return it has been just slapped back right across your face?
what do you say to the one that swears by Allah and the Quran and yet lies to you and looks right into your eyes and you know he is lying but yet has no remorse and carries on doing it?
how can you forgive the one that makes so many promises and never fulfills not even one promise?
how can you forgive the one that builds so many dreams before your eyes and within your heart then goes and does the same thing over and over and over again shattering each and every dream into tiny bits and pieces?
what do you say to the one that wrongs himself but yet always points the finger at you all the time?
how do you trust someone when all they do is betray your trust?
how do you calm his anger when he gets more furious when you hold your peace?
how do you stand your ground and walk away when each and every time he comes back he begs you like a beggar and all for te sake of Allah?
how do you get rid of that hope in your heart that maybe he'll change maybe my duas will be answered?
what more do you do to make them feel secure after sacrificing everything in your life, your friends, your independence, your life, your liberty and yourself just for the sake for their happiness?
How can you still carry on giving to the one that gives you nothing but pain and lets you down?
How can someone claim to pray 5 times a day and realise the existance of God yet still do these things?
How long do you bare with it? how long should you be patient for?
what do you do when they neither give you your basic rights as a wife nor set you free?
what do you do when a promised 2 weeks turns into a year and in the end of it all after holding on for so long out of hope you have nothing else to hold onto you want to walk and never look back but doubt creeps into mind and makes you think, what if you wasn't patient, enough, what if you didnt give it more than you should have, what if you wasnt understanding enough?
how long does one have to be patient? is Allah swt going to hold m for account for not sitting and waiting for the rest of my life for him to change
what do you do when your heart hurts so much that you can feel the physical pain in your chest, you feel each and every bit of it shattered into pieces but dont know where to start, which piece do you pick and recollect first?
how do you even begin with wiping out the memories out of your mind and heart when they were the biggest part of your life?
How do you live each and everyday when there is not a single thing that you do, see or hear that reminds you of them?
Where do you get the strength from to get up and learn how to walk again?
what do you do when you have been so wronged and hurt and all you want is justice but that justice never seems to come your way?
why is it that everytime you see a way out and think that this is what you have been waiting for and Allah swt's help is here you realise you are mistaken?
where do you get the strength from for the first time in your life to dub out that hope in your heart that maybe just maybe all your efforts will pay off and just get up and leave and never turn around to even take a second glance and walk out of that door and set yourself free knowing that this time its not permissable by His swt's laws for that door to be opened again?
see how wonderful you are emaan, ur still making Dua for him, ur following the Prophet, who even made dua for those who wronged him!
and we also pray that Allah may guide him.Ameen!
and wow, ur getting marriga proposals even tho ur married, what r u waiting for???? get out of there, lol actually, think well before u make another descion about marriage!!, and take into account the advice of ur parents this tym!
My heart, so precious,
I won't trade for a hundred thousand souls.
Your one smile takes it for free.Rumi
see how wonderful you are emaan, ur still making Dua for him, ur following the Prophet, who even made dua for those who wronged him!
and we also pray that Allah may guide him.Ameen!
and wow, ur getting marriga proposals even tho ur married, what r u waiting for???? get out of there, lol actually, think well before u make another descion about marriage!!, and take into account the advice of ur parents this tym!
i know its weird but its cos most of them are from abroad and think that i am just engaged which in itself is still wrong.
but that is the last thing on my mind!!!!
if it is written for me then Insha'Allah it'll be im still young i'm only 23 so no rush and think that this time in a few years if its meant to be i'll let my mum choose just to bring peace in her heart
dear sis, i cant hate him you cant hate anyone that wrongs you, cos it wont change nor make the situation better they have done what they have done leave it in the past, you cant go back in time and change things just move on, and holding grudges is something that only harms you inside yourself, it erodes your heart and makes you a bitter miserable person, ive been through that phase too, but it only caused me more harm. i learned to let ago of everything and accept everything and let go of the grudges and hate and now i feel so much better.
its been such a beautiful learning curve for me Alhumdullilah...
i went through hell and back but Masha'Allah its taught me so much.
its made me understand life more and why things happen the way they do.
yes its been heartbreaking and has shattered me but Alhumdullilah still i am were i am a stronger and better person, so even the bad things tha happen in life happen for a good reason and you get much more good out of it than bad i guess but that soley depends on you and how much trust you put in Him.
its a beautiful hot day today and we're having a BBQ so i'm going to go and get ready and spend some time with my family Insha'Allah.... wish i could zap you guys some kebabs online lol.
Insha'Allah i'll be back online later.
Just before i go i just want to say thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart, just coming here and talking to you guys even though our absolute strangers is the most heart warming feeling ever. i cant and dont even talk to my family this way cos i dont want to upset them but i honestly pray that Allah swt bestows you all a place in jannatul firduas for your beautiful hearts and souls and purifies you and your hearts to the max and increases you each and everyday in piety.
So after having my phone off all weekend switched it on today to get some numbers that i needed and i had a text message from him saying that its very important call me, i called and asked what was wrong and he was acting as though nothing had happened and everything was fine LOL!!!
AMAZING.., Subhan'Allah some people do leave me speechless.
he even asked me why i havent called him all weekend!!! $
thats when i realised that hank his imaginery brother had gone and my the person i had fallen in love with was back, it took me less than a minute of reminding him then hank was back again lol.
anyhow i think i managed to get the message really across today in the best manner i could i even told him that if he were to this vey minute give me everything that he had promised to even fulfill and rebuild and live every dream that he had shattered i would still walk out that door without even glancing back.
so then he promised me to give me talaaq and 2mins later changed his mind.
so looks like i have to go through all that headache but i just pray that its just over and done with asap Insha'Allah.
What the heck?, why does the brother think this relationship is like a video game, breaking up rules,just mocking around and saying talaq here and talaq there? i think its time for the sister to pull the plug and call it game over.
What the heck?, why does the brother think this relationship is like a video game, breaking up rules,just mocking around and saying talaq here and talaq there? i think its time for the sister to pull the plug and call it game over.
salams bro,
ok i must be very honest with you guys, i have edited my story not as in changed it but have been very selective with what i have told you guys about him and the things that he has done, cos i dont think its nice to mention the other things and sit here bringing out a person to that extent.
But Allah swt knows all Alhumdullilah.
i actually took an oath today that i would never let him step foot in my life and after this talaaq he cant anyhow Alhumdullilah so that makes things so much eaiser, but Wallah my heart shattered into bits and pieces today i really dont know whats wrong with me!!!!
I dont know why Allah swt does this to me, when i was talking to him he was crying on the other side of the phone and although its something common that he does when he knows that this time he has really screwed up but still my heart broke into pieces and i felt like the most evil person ever.
Allah swt is my witness and i swear by Him that i was speaking to him in such a kind manner and was just trying to explain life and giving him advice and making dua for him at the same time, but still it hurts so much just knowing that i made him shed a tear, then i reminded myself the rivers i've cried thanks to him and in return he has showed no remorse and turned his back and walked of and left me there stranded, but still hurting someone else is something else.
i know deep down inside that it is all done for him to get attention and sympathy but just the doubt in my heart that maybe just maybe its not that maybe he is hurt but then what do i do?
im not the one thats hurt him we are where we are all due to his actions what can i do????????
are these doubts whispers of the shaytaan or are they feelings cos i love him so dearly or is it Allah swt trying to tell me something?
Eeman MashaAllah ukth I admire ur strength n how u cope with ur hardship.
I am completely speechless, I am sorry that u are going through so much right now, but pls dont forget that Allah himself said in the Quraan: Fa inna ma al usri yusra-inna ma al usri yusra: ,"-(verily with every hardship comes relief,with every hardship come relief).
Sis stay strong, continue with the duas, you will be rewarded in the end. I know how you feel about talaaq etc and you wanting to giv it your all but I think you have done that. I think you need to think about whats best for you now and how all this is affecting you. The Sharia route may be long but if that is the only option, may be its best to take it. I aint one to speak on what you should do but sometimes you've gota take the stand and be strong, going through with your word. He knows you love him dearly and therefore will not let him go, he will relise how much when you are not around him at all and whens there no chance you will go back to him.
Sis Eeman, please do what best for you, you have gone to the end of the world and back for him but its done you harm than any good, for your sanity do what has to be done...
Sis stay strong, continue with the duas, you will be rewarded in the end. I know how you feel about talaaq etc and you wanting to giv it your all but I think you have done that. I think you need to think about whats best for you now and how all this is affecting you. The Sharia route may be long but if that is the only option, may be its best to take it. I aint one to speak on what you should do but sometimes you've gota take the stand and be strong, going through with your word. He knows you love him dearly and therefore will not let him go, he will relise how much when you are not around him at all and whens there no chance you will go back to him.
Sis Eeman, please do what best for you, you have gone to the end of the world and back for him but its done you harm than any good, for your sanity do what has to be done...
Hey sis, I pray that your well and having a better day today Insha'Allah...
your right i have to i have given him so much that in return i have forgotten myself. its time that i took that stand and stood my ground and stopped being that door mat that he constantly rubs the dirt from his shoes on.
but its just come to the point where after being so heartbroken the idea or even thought of doing something that as a result of that breaking someone else's heart just makes me think twice sometimes i dont know how to explain it or if it makes sense, no matter what he has done or how much he has wronged me, even though this is all a result of his actions but still, i kow that by me walking out he will be heart broken and that is the reason why i have not done it long ago, i have never had it in me, now its a matter of gaining that strength and being able to do it. ive always seen and considered breaking someone heart as a very big sin, no one has the right to do that nor should ever do that but i know it happens everyday all over the world and you cannot stop it and yes it all happens cos He has willed for it to happen so nothing you can do about it, but sometimes i think to myself that i am fighting too hard against my own fate and in return thats why i am getting what i am getting.
You know what it feels like to be heartbroken so u cudnt even consider doin it to someone else, but sometimes u gota do whats best for you. U have spent long enough thinking about his needs and fulfilling them. Its time you let go of that and see where it takes you. If your meant to leave him then you will.
I think you need to stop fightin for it to work.. become your own person again, live life the way its meant to be lived, full of happiness and joy.
It will be a tough time for you to even go through with it, but the other side inshAllah will have a bright side for you..
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!:enough!::en ough!::enough!::enough!::enough!::enough!::enough! ::enough!::enough!::enough!::enough!:
im soooooooooooo ANGRY!!!!!!!! why are some people just so determined to make you hate them?????????
why is it that you cant make dua to break up kinship when it is the best thing to do???????
i know your right.
i was doing so good and feeling so good, but everytime i he calls and i talk to him, he always makes me mad one way or another just does it to i dunno Allahu alam. i think i need to change my house number too and have no contact whatsoever....
ya Allah i would have never thought it would come to this day for me to feel this way and do these things cos of my own husband! please my Lord give me the strength and help this slave of yours.
basically i have had a bit of dilema for the past few days, my husband has all of my stuff which he is witholdng from me and he is basically depriving me of all my things just to prove a point, he has been making empty promises to me everyday that i will get it today then turns into 2mrw so on and so forth.it has come to the point where he is using it to torture me, i have thought about writing my things off and i try so hard to but it makes me so mad at the thought of how evil a person can be to do that.
i just dont know what to do no more... gosh sometimes i just wonder if humans can be cursed!
Eeman, May Allaah forgive all your sins and grant you jannat al-firdaus! subHaan Allaah, you have so much to give and contribute to this world. Don't let yourself waste away in that rut! Get out of it NOW!
1.
If you have some male relatives who can help you, get them to tactfully get you your stuff from him, if possible. If not, move on!
Let me be a little frank (if I may) -
Be letting him go, you'll be doing him a favor. Let him WAKE UP. Let this be a shock for him (if he has any sense left in him). If not, he's dead already. By delaying this, you're helping his "weed" grow taller and stronger. The sooner you cut the weed off, the sooner he'll wake up and hopefully move on with his life doing something worthwhile.
You think by letting him go, you'll be hurting him? No! On the contrary! By delaying this, you're hurting him! Free him out of his miserable state and free yourself out of that prison! You'll be doing both of you a huge favor.
2.
When it's time, don't give your mom 100% power to choose for you. Help her filter out the suitors; check out their values and beliefs. Let this experience be a priceless lesson and learn it well. Don't melt down by the suitors' "sweet" promises right away. Be smart.
3.
What else have you been doing in the meantime? I see great potential in you. You have NOOOOOOO idea!!! Step up to the plate; "delete" the previous page in your life's document; start writing a new chapter.
Remember, every day that you delay, you're wasting 86,400 precious seconds of your precious life. Those seconds are not coming back. So, get on it and get going. Get on the driver seat of life. Start a new journey. Now!
As soon as you read this, take out a piece of paper and a pen, start listing EVERY action item you'll have to take. Then prioritize them. Set the earliest possible deadline for each one. On the side, note how you'll get that item done (get someone's help; call someone; email someone; buy something; sell something---whatever).
Tape that against your wall where you see it a few times everyday. Then pick something you really love -- the most precious thing you have (something that you wouldn't want anybody else to have)--something tangible (even money). Then give that to someone who is trustworthy. Tell him or her: "I want you to keep this for me. If I get these things done on time (those action-items), I will take it back and you'll give it back. If I miss the deadline (if "I" miss the deadline), then I want you to NEVER give them back to me. Even if I beg and cry for it afterwards. (Better yet, sign a written contract with him or her). If you had a child, I would suggest you let that person have your child. <-- I'm not kidding! Dead serious. Let that sink in! YOUR OWN CHILD! yes! You need some serious "commitment" that's gonna push you over the edge to take those actions NOW, and not tomorrow!
I hope that made sense. I don't know where you are. If I were there, I would've gone and done everything in my power. I hope you'll do EVERYTHING in your power.
Keep making MASSIVE du'aa'. Let the upcoming Ramadan be that transition period you'll need. Let it wash away all the pain and sorrow. Let it make you stronger and braver; smarter and sharper. Let this experience TOTALLY TRANSFORM you, so on the other side, you wake up as:
Jazak'Allah khair brother sharif i pray that Allah swt rewards you in abundance for each and every word that you have written and for yourtime, yes you are right i must do this and Insha'Allah i will get up put myself back together and get the strength to walk out i cannot no more carry on giving its my own stupidity i suppose but khair Allah swt sees all and knows all.
i love your techniques and the way you percieve everything but unfortunately they will not work with me since i am or its better to say have not functioned myself in such manner, yes i have goals without a doubt everyone has but my reliablility has always been on Allah swt, i have never planned as far out as the next day let alone next year, i dunno why but my mindset has always been set to the way of thinking that tomorrow may never come, so Insha'Allah as always i will take each day as it comes and aim and do my best like it is my last.
i have never in life been motivated to make loads of money, or to have the best job or power, yes before islam i was motivated by fame and i got bit of that and tasted its results too but now all i want in life is to just pass this test and get it over and done with and prepare myself for the akhira, i wanted a little family a righteous spouse and a simple life and thats what i always have prayed for and i know that Insha'Allah Allah swt will bestow that upon me.
since i have not been working for the past year cos he was not happy with me working, i have decidedto get back into university Insha'Allah and carry on with my education but i was going to right my stuff off but since my mum has obviously been looking after me and wasnt able to afford my fees i asked for my stuff back so i could pay off for my fees, and have made him aware but khair he has gone on a disappearing act again he promised that my stuff would definately be with me on sunday that turned into monday then monday into tuesday now wednesday and now he is not answering his phone.
never mind Allah swt is great too great this too shall pass and i will Insha'Allh get my justice.
As Salaam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu to dear sister Eeman
Good some advices of posts in here.
Think positively of Allah Taala, for He has only decreed this thing for you for a reason that is known to Him. He wants good for you so long as you adhere to His commands and guidance, and obey His commands and avoid overstepping His limits and falling into that which He has forbidden. You do not know, perhaps this calamity has befallen you so that Allah Taala might ward off thereby something that is even worse; perhaps Allah Taala has warded off thereby some major sins and some destructive calamity without you realizing. So think positively of your Lord and believe that He will bring you forth from this calamity as a hair is pulled out of dough.
You should understand that waswaas comes from the Shaytaan, and in fact Allah Taala calls the shaytaan the waswaas (the whisperer) in Surah al-Naas, as is well known. This means that you have to declare war on the shaytaan and remember that he is the one who started it with you and that he is the one who transgressed against you and tricked you and wanted to deny you your rights, so do not turn your back to him or show him your weakness, for he is weak and defeated, and withdraw easily. So be of good cheer, and be certain that you can overcome him so long as you are with Allah Taala.
unfortunately they will not work with me since i am or its better to say have not functioned myself in such manner,
Change is not easy. No one says it is. My hallucination is that you've grown a barrier of comfort zone even where you are currently.
yes i have goals without a doubt everyone has but my reliablility has always been on Allah swt, i have never planned as far out as the next day let alone next year,
Why haven't you planned your next day? Whether you like it or not, here is the fact:
You can live your tomorrow just like today OR you can make your tomorrow better than today.
I don't want to overwhelm you with quotes from Qur'an and Hadith to get the point across. You know the points better than I do.
i dunno why but my mindset has always been set to the way of thinking that tomorrow may never come, so Insha'Allah as always i will take each day as it comes and aim and do my best like it is my last.
Good thinking, but BAD strategy. Go back to the last time you had this mindset. How many days has that been? Hundreds? May be thousands? Each new day comes. And you're not ready? No, no, Eeman. You deserve better. You know better.
i have never in life been motivated to make loads of money, or to have the best job or power, yes before islam i was motivated by fame and i got bit of that and tasted its results too but now all i want in life is to just pass this test and get it over and done with and prepare myself for the akhira, i wanted a little family a righteous spouse and a simple life and thats what i always have prayed for and i know that Insha'Allah Allah swt will bestow that upon me.
Hmm... some of values seem to have conflicts with others. No wonder!
It'll be happening in 3 hours. Why don't you go and attend. It's free. (I think it shouldn't be free, but khayr). That one hour, if you use it right, could be transformational. (Unless you're happy with where you are currently, then don't.) http://discoverulife.com/blog/
Jazak'Allah khair brother sharif for the webinar, lol i assumed that you were a coach Mash'Allah cos your posts seemed quite calculated, i pray that Allah swt rewards you with Jannah for your efforts Insha'Allah and that you Insha'Allah succeed with the marriage revolution.
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see how wonderful you are emaan, ur still making Dua for him, ur following the Prophet, who even made dua for those who wronged him!
$ 
i know your right.
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