SISTERS: Do you have any problem living with in-laws after marriage?

**IbnAbdulHakim** · 02-28-2011

Assalamu Alaikum

For the blessings of the husband and the in-laws, would you live with your husbands family and look after them so long as they adhere to islam and arent sick or twisted?

Personally I think a mans responsibility is towards his mother moreso then his wife (although im sure many would argue that), therefore even if under different roofs a man and his wife are very likely to constantly (maybe daily) visit the mans mother and father.

Are you happy to be living with them? Looking after them? So long as they arent sick in the head, jelous, twisted ETC

Both my sisters happily agreed to live with the in-laws and live in harmony, there have been many problems but Alhamdulillaah the blessings are greater then the hardships.

What are your opinions sisters?

JazakALlah khair for sharing

**Maryan0** · 03-02-2011

Originally Posted by Yanoorah

I'm not asian so this practise is not as common as its in ur culture.

Tbh I dont understand this practise cause its just culture it doesnt have any basis in Islam, therefore I'm kind of against it. I heard some very sad stories, wife serving inlaws, getting tortured n god knows wat. I also heard that the muslims of the south-asian continent took this practise from the hindus as its widely common in their religion.

I am against favouring the husbands family over the wifes family. Which blatantly seems to be the case in this culture.

So my answer is yess!]

Exactly. If I was an only child and my parents needed me would it be okay if my husband moved in with my family?

If it you're okay with it than alhamdulilah if not that's okay too. I dont understand why people should be guilted into it.

Also this a cultural thing not a general thing so I dont understand why it's posed in a general manner. This is not common in my culture.
Salam

**Reflections** · 03-02-2011

AsSalaamu Aalaykum WarahmatAllah wabarakatuh,

This is a hot topic lol....kheir inshaAllah. From the sort of family and upbringing I've had, parents lived with all the sons and all the daughter in laws and all the grandchildren under one roof...which is a big sum of people. I lived like this for a few years of my life and then slowely slowely we all kind of dispersed from the big house..(to houses round the corner from it-literally). There's never been the mention of 'in law' in the family, its always been 'mum','dad','brother' or 'sister' etc.

Coming from that sort of background, I wouldn't mind living with my 'in laws', which I wouldn't even class them as that, I will be willing to serve them and give them the same sort of treatment I give to my own blood mother and father (including the amount of money I ask from them..jk)....I wouldn't see it a problem so long as they have deen etc...However if it goes with living with the husbands siblings-brothers, then maybe it will be an issue due to observing hijaab/niqaab ya3nee...I don't want to make it an issue like many people do saying 'omg i have to live with the monster (mother)-in-law' but ready to be getting the rewards that is waiting to be gained from serving them and more importantly making my husband happy and most importantly making my Rabb happy with me.

**Cabdullahi** · 03-02-2011

Originally Posted by 'Abd Al-Maajid

and conspiracies...

I've heard that member x and someone that goes by the codename 'charisma' are planning to escape the institution that had made them into the ladies they are, its a very complex mission..you can call it the 'great escape' but to me a better suited name would be 'chicken run'

charisma was overheard saying that Mr perfect will be waiting for her at the rendezvous point with his gateway car.

Originally Posted by *charisma*

Assalamu Alaikum

Personally, one of the reasons I would get married is because I would feel ready to leave my family. I don't see the point................... I feel speaking from a hypothetical perspective.

fi aman Allah
w'salaam

**karima** · 03-02-2011

salam aleikum

i would love to live with my in-laws and take care of them, expecially because my mother in law is sick, may allah give her shifaa inshaallah

but my husband dont want me to, he says he want me to be a queen in my own house. But he is sooo stubborn, i hope some day he will say yes inshaallah.

**Amat Allah** · 03-03-2011

For all of you and me first:

at the end; the decision will be in the hand of the girl; whether she wanted to marry one who wants her to live with his family , inside a cave , under the ground, doesn`t want to buy her a house, living on a tree or wherever or someone who can buy a private place for them both ; there will be no guilt on her and similarly for the guy there will be no gult on him cause she accepted him before and took her decision upon this...

none is forcing her to marry someone whom suites her not ..she should know everything about the one who wants her as a wife and she can decide later and the same for the brother; none can force him to marry someone who doesn`t want to live with his family...

and the brother can tell his parents to find him a girl who agrees to live with him and his family and he will find milions...

there is no need to convince all of some Idea that I believe in no matter how beautiful it seems...

and I must know that some would agree and some would not and that should never be a problem cause everyone has his own opinion and free will and options as long as they are not against Allah, His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and His religion...

there is more than one female in this world and there is more than one male in this world and none forced to accpet the another ......

and again remember that you will only take what Allah written for ya and you will live as Allah written for ya...

not all females alike and the same for males ...and as long as the one is not violating Allah`s Hudud and commandments then none can open his/ her mouth and object...

and always remember to pray Al Istikharah before taking decisions cause Allah Is the all Knowing and we know not what best for us like Allah...laa ilaha illa Allah...

take care of yourselves and May Allah bless you all with the perfect person whom you will live with happily always and forever Ameeeeeen

love you all for the sake of Allah and Allah Is my witness...