Emotions, senses, desires, mind and conscience are all part (I may have omitted some) of the gift that comes in this world. The choices we make are ours.
Strength is within. It is not about the results. Not at all. It is about your resolve and action.
To combine all those gifts that make life so rich, I have also successfully controlled my emotions from a very young age. I'm like an elastic band, emotionally. Never allowing myself to get too happy or sad. I also knew that I make who I am, now and the future, nobody else. As I learn, no internet those days... it was only recent. So knowledge was hard to get.. but I knew life is a test. And anger is tiring. Resentment is tiring, even more so if it is not used to spurr you into something better but instead sit there and burn inside.
That was a test, you failed!
You were angry as a muslim, you said, are you not a muslim now? Still angry? It feels to me that it has nothing to do with the deen. You're just an angry person.
But if you are still very young, I think you are thinking way too far ahead into a world you really don't know. And worst still, decide the fate of your entire life based on teenage uncertainty, moulding your coming years on your negative understanding..
Why don't you explore what these years have to offer. It is a learning period, so LEARN, don't decide already what is good or not. That is stupid. Before you do it yoy're already saying no, it is hard, I'm not going to like it, so, what are the chances of success? Almost zero. Then it fails, See? I told you! Self fulfilling prophecy. Plenty of that, it soon becomes, "Oh, I'm such a failure.... " blah blah blah..
Go out, live! Remember Allah. Discover yourself and learn how to serve Him in your life. Still do things and learn.
There is no gain at all to harbour anger. Let it slip through your fingers and toes and get on with the blessings (and trials) of life, you will find it very nice.. why? Because you have peace of mind.
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